Attempt #159 - 'Network'

[info]When? - 17th of October, 2013

Where? - Network Public Bar & Pizzeria. Southern Cross Station

Price? - $23.00

Website? - http://www.networkpublicbar.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Lee, Nikki, Matt [/info]

When I heard they had opened up a pub inside Spencer st station Southern Cross Station, my interest was piqued. Something about the idea of sipping on a beer while watching trains come and go instantly appealed to me, I put it to the poll and it won by a landslide - apparently I'm not the only one who liked the idea of beers with Thomas the Tank Engine.

I called on Thursday afternoon to book a table and was told that they don't take bookings, even though the guy on the phone assured me there'd be free tables alarm bells were ringing - We have been "assured" in the past that there would be a place to sit at pubs that don't take reservations and have walked away disappointed and hungry. Keeping in the spirit of the parma we were going to take the train in but Melbourne's weather was being a bi-polar bitch so we opted for the comfort of the parma bus (although if you're planning on parking at the station be prepared to pay through the ass, try your luck at one of the other nearby parking structures if you don't want to pay $16 an hour).

We arrived at Network, as promised the place was mostly cleared out - The seating area inside is a bit drab, with the train departure board on the wall it gave off a bit of an 'airport departure lounge' vibe - so we opted to pull up a chair in the adjoining beer "garden". Yes the grass floor and greenery is all plastic and you're sitting under the massive roof of the station, but the atmosphere in the beer garden is infinitely better than that inside the building.

We checked the menu, Lots of italian-inspired fare here (not surprising as they bill themselves as a "public bar & pizzeria") out of the choices of pizzas, pastas and a few burger options the chicken parma was the most expensive item on the menu by $4, with nothing else listed going above the $19 mark.

"Fior di Latte" is just a fancy word for cheap mozzarella. I googled it.

 We placed our order at the bar and got given one of those buzzer things that beeps and vibrates whenever the meal is ready to be collected from the kitchen. I am in two minds about these buzzer things. On one hand its kinda cool, its a bit of a novelty sitting and waiting for the thing to go off and when it does you feel like you've won Tattslotto a tiny bit. On the other hand collecting your own food is a pain in the ass, unless its bargain basement prices I'd think they could put on some wait staff.

Everything was self serve, after ordering at the bar and getting our buzzer we were directed to the condiment & cutlery station to gather supplies, again this was a mixed bag. There were heaps of condiment caddies (pictured below) with enough sauces to keep most people satisfied, but it would have been nice to have this brought to me, rather than struggling to carry the caddy, salt, pepper, knife, fork, napkin and pint back to the table.

It may be the 12 year old in me, but I really enjoyed the atmosphere of the beer garden, yes it was a little breezy but the heaters made short work of that, and watching the trains come and go was definitely soothing. Before long at all our buzzer buzzed and we went to the kitchen to pick up our parmas...

Of the four, mine was the only one to suffer from the terrible case of curly ham that afflicted my parma. The schnitzel was quite good, a decent thickness, beautifully crumbed with panko crumbs and cooked to a perfect golden crunch. It was tasty enough to enjoy without the toppings - a mark of a great piece of chicken.

The ham was flavourful, as was the spiced napoli (although it was a bit thick and pasty). The cheese was a bit bland, not really adding anything to the dish. I enjoyed the liberal shower of cracked pepper over the parma, however if you aren't a fan of pepper this is a pretty serious liberty to take - as the flavour of the cracked pepper permeated the entire dish.

I Enjoyed the parma a lot, although it was lacking that certain kick that would take it from a good parma to a great one, I think it needed some more spices through the napoli, or maybe just more napoli in general, either way these are minor complaints to a pretty solid bird.

The chips were a disappointment. When a pub serves shoestring fries (aka "Maccas chips") with their parma they are already off on the wrong foot, on top of that these tasted as if they were cooked half an hour before and left to sit in a bowl. The sauce caddy was used liberally to try and save them, but there's only so much tomato sauce can do.

A question - Can you call a salad a "salad" if it only contains one ingredient? The "house salad" accompanying this parma was nothing but a pile of roquette lettuce doused in dressing. Firstly, I cannot stand roquette salads, if I wanted my salad to taste like grass I'd just go eat the front lawn. Secondly, if you are going to do a roquette salad, put something else in it. On its own it just comes across as a lazy green lump. I will compliment their choice of salad dressing - it was tasty and would have been delicious on a salad with more ingredients.

Network seems to have a plethora of discount food nights on the calendar. Monday is 1/2 price pizza, Tuesday is 1/2 price pasta, Wednesday is 1/2 price Burgers, and Monday - Wednesday they offer a $5 snack happy hour - yet the only thing missing from the menu is a parma night! If this parma had've arrived at our table for $15 with a pot I would be shouting its praises from the rooftops, however for $23 it didn't have quite enough going for it to justify the price.

I liked the pub, I liked the parma. But Network fell short everywhere else, The chips were lacklustre and the salad was a train wreck (train wreck... get it?!) If you're at the station with time to kill then its definitely worth checking out for the quality parma alone - However I wouldn't be going out of my way to visit if I weren't going to the station for other reasons.

[pros]

• Quality parma, amazing crispy crumbing
• Plethora of sauces and seasonings readily available

[/pros][cons]

• Cold, unseasoned shoestring fries
• Salad is just roquette in dressing

[/cons]

Parma - 8.00

Chips - 4.00

Salad - 3.13

Value - 4.88

Total - 5.60

The search continues...

Attempt #158 - 'La Di Da'

[info]When? - 10th of October, 2013

Where? - La Di Da. Corner of Little Bourke & King St, Melbourne.

Price? - $12.50 Mon - Thurs, $17.50 Friday lunch, $19.50 Friday, Saturday & Sunday

Website? - http://www.ladidapeople.com/

Reviewers – Dale, Lee, Nikki, Matt, Tony [/info]

I've always considered La Di Da as a nightclub, granted my only exposure to it before yesterday was on the nights that it joins Bang and Next to become the "Plastic" mega-club. So when I heard that they also served food my interest was indeed piqued.

A few of the regulars couldn't make it this week so it was going to be a quiet night - because of this I forwent calling and booking a table. "It'll be fine" I said to myself "we'll get a table no problem". However if I had've called ahead I would have been told that the entire dining area was booked out for a private function. Smooth move right there.

We arrived and (luckily) managed to secure one of the tables in the side bar, completely walled off from the dining area. On a nice night this would be a great spot for a beer - the massive open doors at one end lent to a CBD beer-garden type feel. We settled in, the first pints were poured and we checked the menu for the dish of the evening...

Sighted! But it wasn't until we got to the bar that we realised we were in luck, as there was a note at the end of the menu...

Gotta love an unexpected bonus, Like finding a $20 in your jeans pocket after washing them. Being Thursday night our parmas came to only $12.50, and (not mentioned on the above image) when you order a cheap parma you can get either a free soft drink or a $2.50 pot of draught. If the parma was quality a $15.00 pot 'n parma deal is a great start

No more than 5 minutes later our parmas arrived (Everyone else we saw eating in the pub also had parmas, they must have quite a construction line going in the kitchen).

These teardrop shaped plates sure are popular these days, it may just  be coincidence but we seem to be seeing more and more of them lately. Anyway, crockery aside, on to the parma.

No points for presentation on this one, the large plate left a lot of white space, which also left my wondering why they insisted on stacking the parma on top of the chips - I don't really have a problem with the parma being on the chips if there is no other space on the plate - I'd rather more stuff in a big pile than less stuff just so it all fit without overlapping.

The schnitz wasnt great, as you can see by the above pic mine had a massive burnt tail poking out from under the toppings. It was pretty thin, there was one lump down the north end of the plate where the schnitzel thickened out to a respectable girth - but the majority of it was around the 1cm of thickness max.

Napoli, ham and and crumbs were all present, but none were really noteworthy, Everything tasted as if it came out of a package. The highlight of the dish would probably be the cheese, it didn't blow me away but there was plenty of it, it was well cooked and it retained a delightfully gooey consistency throughout.

It was an okay parma, bordering on "good", but I'm struggling to find anything noteworthy to actually talk about. It was cookie cutter. Everything was there but there was no panache, It didn't feel like any love was put into it at all.

The chips looked decent, there were little flecks of herbs throughout that gave me hope that they were well seasoned - but those barely added any flavour, leaving everyone reaching for the salt shakers. They were okay, my major gripe being that they were rather undercooked leaving them a bit hard and claggy. We asked a passing waitress for some tomato sauce to help rectify the situation but it never came, The function next door was in full swing and I think we were forgotten.

Probably the most disappointing part of the dish was the salad - this is pretty common with discount parmas as its probably the least cared about part of the dish and thus the first thing to go when tightening the purse strings. My salad was a couple of bits of lettuce and two wedges of tomato. That's it. A couple of reviewers had some onion as well, but that didn't make it onto everyone's plate. A massive afterthought.

Value is a tough one. for $12.50 this is an acceptable parma - sure its not great, but it doesn't sting the wallet too hard either way, and at least it'll fill a hunger hole. However I do have a problem with the other prices a person could potentially pay.

Classically a discount parma night is just one or two nights of the week, yet La Di Da sell this parma for $12.50 from Monday to Thursday - thats the majority of the week. If I paid $19.50 for what I was delivered last night I would not be happy - La Di Da are walking a fine line between offering a discount parma from Monday to Thursday, or just jacking up the price on weekends. It depends on how you're looking at it.

Overall there isn't a lot to complain about for $12.50, these days $12.50 doesn't buy you a whole lot - hell a trip to the Nando's next door would probably cost you more than this parma, and if thats all you're after then this is a pretty good deal - especially if you're the designated driver and you score a free soft drink with it. If you're after a quick bite to fill a hole and not hit the hip pocket too hard then check it out, otherwise I'd say give this one a miss.

[pros]

• If you go Monday - Thursday its cheap, with a free soft drink or discounted beer.

[/pros][cons]

• Uninspired, cookie cutter parma
• Starchy, unseasoned chips
• Not worth the price on Friday, Saturday or Sunday

[/cons]

Parma - 5.60

Chips - 4.60

Salad - 3.40

Value - 6.90

Total - 5.22

The search continues...

Attempt #157 - 'Universal'

When? - 3rd of October, 2013

Where? - Universal Italian Restaurant & Function Venue. 139-141 Lygon St. Carlton

Price? - $14

Website? - http://www.universalrestaurant.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Carly, Dale, Kylie, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony

Call me Ishmael, as a good parma on Lygon street has been my white whale for quite some time now. You would think that Melbourne's most prominent Italian Restaurant district would be rampant with quality parmas, yet that just doesn't seem to be the case - We have tried a few over the years (like here, here & here) with varying degrees of success but we haven't found one that we have been absolutely wrapped with.

When Universal was suggested to me, I immediately thought they were talking about The University Hotel, A pub further down the road that I had seen in the past and made a mental note to give a try (University/Universal... They sound kind've similar). It wasn't until I went on their website to get the phone number that I realised that we weren't going where I thought we were, Oh well, The location was set so I made the booking, we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Universal.

We don't normally do restaurants here at Parma Daze, there is no rule against it, it just seems we come across a lot more pubs than we do 'restaurants', so this was something a bit different. Universal is a lot more spacious on the inside than it appears from outside, at 7 o'clock there were already quite a few people both inside and out on the street, yet there was still enough room to stretch your legs.

While we're on the subject of Lygon street - especially this area of Lygon street, One thing I absolutely hate is running the gauntlet of spruikers trying to get me to go into their restaurant. Its uncomfortable and in my opinion should be banned. I have literally been walking down Lygon with two large pizzas, a garlic bread and a pasta, yet I still got hassled to go into restaurants. If I am looking for a place to eat on Lygon and they have a spruiker out the front I will actively avoid going in to that restaurant so as not to condone the practise. Luckily the Universal had no such person out the front, Unless they just hadn't started for the night - which I sincerely hope isn't the case.

Beer selection is limited, with only one tap running beer (Pure Blonde) and the other running cider (strongbow) If you want to get any fancier then set your sights on the bottled selection. Corona, Peroni, Little Creatures, White Rabbit - all costing at about $8 a stubby.

A few of the review team were stuck in traffic, so while we waited we started without them and ordered a pre-game of cheesy garlic bread. We  were all damn hungry so the majority of it went before I could snap a decent photo - I won't post it here as it isn't the best image, but if you're really curious I chucked it up on our Instagram after taking it) The garlic pizza was delicious. Plenty of garlic and so much damn cheese I thought we'd taken a road trip to Bega, a perfect way to kick off the meal.

The starter was polished off very quickly, the others arrived and we set our sights on the main menu. Parma was sighted...

Looked good! Pricing at just $14 it was very friendly on the wallet as well. We placed our orders and awaited our dinners.

Before very long at all (extremely prompt service, especially as the place was quite busy) our parmas began arriving out of the kitchen. Two by two, as if Noah himself loved parmas as much as we do.

God damn that is an impressive looking plate! Absolutely massive, I put the fork in the shot to give you some sort of perspective. This was an absolute monster.

So we've got a tick in two boxes. It's cheap, it's big ... but is it good? Completing the trifecta would be an unexpected feat for this unassuming Lygon St. cafe. I picked up the cutlery and tucked in.

The schnitzel was quite big, the sheer size of the massive plate makes the schnitz look small but this was definitely a big'un. The crumbs were crispy without the slightest hint of sogginess. The chicken itself was thinner than I would have liked, and not of the best quality, but nothing to gripe too badly about.

There was quite a bit of nude schnitz showing on top, but due to its large size that can be excused - The areas of schnitz covered by topping would be enough fill a normal man quite easily - and the crunchy topping free shnitz around the sides provided a nice palate cleanse in between bites of the flavourful toppings.

And thats about where my criticisms end! The traditional napoli was rich and full of flavour (definitely what I expected from Lygon St.) Like the garlic pizza there was an abundance of cheese, which sealed in the heat and kept the dish piping hot till the very end. Even the few basil leaves on top added a fresh tang to the dish and made it that much more visually appealing.

There was no ham, but being in the Italian district of Melbourne I wasn't expecting one. Yes it would have been nice, but we're going 'traditional' here, so it's really hard to complain about that.

The chips were fantastic. You know an establishment is proud of their chips when they put their name in front of them, and all mention of chips on Universal's menu referred to them as "Universal's beer battered chips". Massively chunky, perfectly seasoned with the spot on ratio of crunch on the outside to fluffiness on the inside. If they had've been served with some sort of dipping sauce (even a bit of heinz tomato sauce would have done the job) then we would have been looking at perfect marks.

Beside the parma laid a truly monumental mound of coleslaw, definitely not out of the supermarket deli section, this slaw was fresh and delicious, with plenty of dressing to spice it up. It's always nice to see some thought put into the salad, rather than your standard pile of green stuff with a tomato wedge.

All up this was a good meal. For only $14 this is a damn good meal.Value on this dish is well and truly off the charts, and this isn't even a special parma night, this is a $14 dish every day of the week.

Being just a quick stroll from the University makes this one to remember for all you starving students out there, for a damn reasonable price there is no way you are leaving hungry - for my money the Universal has got to be one of the best value parmas in town.

The Universal's parma isn't perfect, but for the price the  few gripes I had with it are easily forgotten. I'm gonna keep looking and try and find a better Lygon st. Parma, but the bar has been set high. Damn high.

Pros

• Delicious traditional napoli

• No shortage of cheese

• Crispy crumbs - no sogginess

• Amazing chips

• Big! You won't leave hungry

• At only $14 its a steal

Cons

• Not the best quality chicken used in the schnitzel

Parma - 7.67

Chips - 7.72

Salad - 6.72

Value - 9.56

Total - 7.87

The search continues...

#156 - 'The Ascot Vale Hotel'

When? - 26th of September, 2013

Where? - The Ascot Vale Hotel, 447 Mount Alexander Rd. Ascot Vale

Price? - $18

Website? - None

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Fridge, Grace, Lee, Natalie, Tony, Stefo

*Update* This review is no longer valid. Check out our revisit to the Ascot Vale Hotel Here.

If you're unfamiliar with the story of why we do what we do, you'd better familiarise yourself now. Long story short we started the hunt for the perfect parma after our favourite pub meal was ripped away from us by the fire at The Prince of Wales Hotel in Ascot Vale back in 2009.

A stones throw from the Prince of Wales (known to the regulars as "Jimmies") is the Ascot Vale Hotel. Now back in 2009 The Ascot was ... how can I put this delicately?.. A hole. It was dark, sticky floors, basically a dive. I never in my wildest dreams would have considered trying a parma within its walls (it would have been particularly difficult, them not having a kitchen back then)

Jump cut to 2013. Jimmies is gone, we have been searching for a replacement for over 4 years, and now The Ascot is under new management - It's had a paint job, a few lights have gone in, most of the dank has been cleared away and - most importantly - they've put in a kitchen.

I was considering the Ascot for a couple of weeks when I was clued in to something interesting. The newly installed furniture at the Ascot is the same furniture that they had at The Prince of Wales. Now I'm not talking about the same design, I'm saying that The PoW sold their furniture to the Ascot after the fire and it now resides there. It was a sign, we had to try a parma on the very same tables that the best parmas ever to grace Melbourne were served on.

I never thought I'd sit at these tables again

The very first time I visited The Ascot was for a mate's 18th Birthday party, would have been ten years ago now. The one thing I remember more than anything was that behind the bar they had a single, unlabelled tap of "Beer". No brand, no options, just beer or nothing. I was happy to see they have improved their selection - nothing exciting, mind you (Carlton, VB, Blonde, Boags, Bulmers) but at least I know know what brand of beer I'm ordering this time around.

We took our seats, everyone was famished so we opted for an entree of garlic bread and an assorted dip plate ($10 for the dips, $5 for the GB).

The entrees were simple, understated and served their job well. Nothing to write home about but they definitely filled the void while waiting for our parmas to arrive.

Next up - The Main event...

I've seen Veal parmigiana as an option many, many times - Yet I've never seen "beef", not that It matters, we're pretty much exclusively chicken folk here at Parma Daze, we placed the order an awaited our parmas. It was a small kitchen so I excused them for taking a little longer than I normally would expect (got through most of a pint before the meals arrived) but fair enough for an order of 8 parmas out of a tiny cooking space.

Well. This is a new one.

Sure bolognaise parmas are pretty commonplace, yet I'm racking my brain and I don't think we've ever actually reviewed one for the site. Something clicked, on the Menu when it said "Chicken/Beef Parmagiana" did that mean its a Chicken and beef parma? (the bolognaise being the "beef"?) I never confirmed my suspicions, but that made a lot of sense. I've got nothing against bolognaise instead of napoli so with an open mind we tucked in.

As you can see a couple of us (myself included) had the "two smaller schnitzels stuck together with cheese" parma, which I don't particularly mind, its all the same in the end. The chicken breast itself was surprisingly thick, over an inch in places... but I'm afraid that's about where the positives end.

The whole thing was so dry. The chicken, while thick, had no moisture and was bordering on stringy. The bolognaise sauce was in the same boat, I don't mind a bit of bol, but you need to have some napoli mixed in with it otherwise all you have is tomato flavoured taco meat.

The crumbs were also a let down. I've referred to this type of crumbing before as "KFC crumbs" where the schnitzel itself resembles a KFC boneless fillet more than it does an actual schnitz - I'm not sure what these crumbs are made of, but they kind've form more of a skin over the chicken than they do individual crumbs. Not a fan.

There wasn't much cheese, and the cheese that was there was a very poor choice - I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but it definitely wasn't mozzarella. It tasted more like straight up melted tasty cheese - which is alright on toast, but on a parma its way too overpowering - If you want that tasty cheese zing on your parma you have to mix it in with mozzarella and make a blend. Straight up tasty cheese just killed it.

There were plenty of chips, and for the most part they were okay - other than needing a bit of salt half of them were fine. Unfortunately the other half were hard, almost raw, I tried to cut one with the edge of my fork and literally couldn't break through it. Not a good sign at all.

The salad was an afterthought, wilted lettuce leaves with a single slice of cucumber and a lone wedge of tomato. It did have plenty of dressing though, I'm a sucker for balsamic (the more the better) which saved this salad a little for me, but overall it was a disappointment.

QUOTES-PD

For $18 you won't walk away hungry - but you wont walk away happy. It filled a hole but it wasn't an enjoyable experience - I definitely wouldn't seek this one out in the future.

The Ascot has done a lot of work to fix their pub up, and they definitely get and A for effort, yet I would avoid this parma at all costs. The entrees were fine, which gives me hope that some of the other items on the menu also have potential, So if you end up there maybe give one of those a go.

I just feel bad for the tables. If they knew what kind of parma was being served on them after once being host to the best parma in Melbourne... They would be screaming.

Pros -

• Thick chicken breast

Cons -

• Both chicken and bolognaise were extremely dry
• Cheese had extremely strong, off-putting flavour
• Chips were undercooked & hard
• Salad was an afterthought

Parma - 3.00

Chips - 3.86

Salad - 3.14

Value - 4.00

Total - 3.43

The search continues...

Attempt #155 - 'Saint & Rogue'

 

[info]When? - 20th of September, 2013

Where? - Saint & Rogue, 582 Little Collins St. Melbourne

Price? - $24

Website? - http://www.saintandrogue.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Cale, Dale, Lee, Tony, Stefo[/info]

Saint & Rogue is one of those pubs that I loved as soon as I walked in the door. Dark stained wood, cosy dimly lit corners and an abundance of overstuffed leather couches to sink into. They bill themselves as "...a place that gets back to the roots of a quality pub", and to their credit they've got it just right.

S&R is divided into two areas, the public bar downstairs and the dining/seated area upstairs. Downstairs struck me as the lovechild of Turf Bar and The Local Taphouse - Some of my favourite pubs in Melbourne. When we arrived at 7 o'clock it was already bustling with suited professionals knocking back some post-work bevvies. While waiting for the rest of the review team to arrive it was a bit of a struggle to find somewhere to rest an elbow, but once I found a snug corner to hang my hat the beers went down a treat.

Speaking of beers, there's a pretty decent range of beers on tap, from the standard Boags to "The Grizz American Amber Ale" You're sure to find a drop that'll quench your thirst, all running at between $10 and $11 per pint.

Photo from hiddencitysecrets.com.au

Once the crew arrived we ventured up the stairs to the dining area. Compared to downstairs I was shocked at how quiet it was, We took our seats by the window and couldn't see anyone else in the room (although they could have been hiding, S&R makes great use of wooden screens to divide off different areas, creating some quite intimate, candelit spaces for romantic evenings - this would be a great pub to bring a date).

Upstairs was surprisingly spacious (possibly an illusion as it was so quiet) but the exposed beams and high roof made for a fantastic hidden space, watching the hustle and bustle of Little Collins street go by down below was a lovely way to enjoy a meal.

Photo from hiddencitysecrets.com.au

The menus arrived right on time as we were all starving, We decided on a small pre-game before moving on to the main event, checking the menu we found a couple of tantalising options...

Sounds delicious! And what pre-game in Australia would be complete without the classic...

All of the food arrived very promptly, I won't spend a whole chunk of time talking about the entrees, mostly because they went so quickly I didn't have a chance to snap a photo, But I will say this - They were fantastic.

The garlic bread was fresh, not at all tight on the garlic butter and cooked perfectly on the border of crunchy edges but still soft in the middle, the capsicum dip with crostini was delicious as was the feta & marinated olives. I don't know what they did to those button mushrooms that were on the plate but they were absolutely divine. If this was any sort of indicator of the quality of the parma then we were in for a good bit of bird.

Oh, I forgot to mention, when we ordered the pre-game we also ordered the parmas...

And just as we finished the last of the grazing plate they arrived from the kitchen. Perfect timing.

At first I thought "uh-oh". It looked tiny, especially next to the monumental mountain of salad beside it. I quickly separated the three elements - rescuing the chips from their sweaty prison, and tucked in.

Phew, relief as soon as I cut into it. Although small in circumference the schnitzel was substantially thick, scroll down slightly and take a look at the cross section, this was a thick bit of chicken. Top quality pure white chicken breast, no tricks with thick crumbs in sight. Okay. We're back on track.

There was plenty of cheese and napoli covering the top, no nude schnitz anywhere, The toppings both tasted fresh and complimented the quality chicken perfectly - It was on track to being a very highly rated parma.

Unfortunately (uh oh...) It was let down by a few factors. First of all there was no ham - now I know this is a personal choice, and its more of a Melbourne thing than a universal parma thing, but I like a bit of pork on my parma. It doesn't have to be there, and I can definitely live without it (hell the old Prince of Wales parma didn't have ham and I still consider that the best we've ever had), but this parma could have used it. It needed that kick to get it over the line.

Secondly, and most disappointing, it was cold. Warm at best. I didn't understand as it was out of the kitchen so quickly, maybe due to the thickness of the chicken it just didn't hold its heat. I don't know. I asked around the table and this only affected 4 of the 6 parmas served, but even so it was a bit of a disappointment.

Other than that - Top quality parma. I'm sure the temperature issue was just an isolated incident, and the lack of ham is more of a personal complaint than something actually wrong with the dish. All in all a quality bit of schnitz that I'd happily give another go.

Now to the chips. There were plenty of them hiding under the parma, but I could see their problem as soon as I removed the schnitzel - They were undercooked. You know when chips are almost done and the top is still slightly shiny as opposed to crispy? Like that. Other than that they were okay, I loved the open pots of rock salt and pepper on the table for pinching, they served the chips very well.

As soon as I saw "mixed leaf" salad on the menu I knew it'd be boring, I've never come across a mixed leaf salad that I've enjoyed. The did fancy it up a little with some other ingredients but for the most part it was a fairly bland garden salad. Don't get me wrong, all the elements were fresh and there was plenty of it, it's just hard to wow me with different varieties of lettuce.

When I first saw the parma I was afraid it wasn't going to fill me at all - Yet when the cutlery hit the plate I was relatively stuffed. For $24 I'd be more than happy to give it a go next time I was at the Saint & Rogue, If I was in the Spencer St end of the city and had a hankering for a parma it would definitely be considered. I only just noticed that Thursday is $6 pints of Boags, Kicking myself I didn't stick to those last night instead of downing a few pints of Heineken .

All up Saint & Rogue is a fantastic little pub that serves up quality ingredients. The entrees were spot on and the parma itself was pretty good, other than a few unfortunate (and hopefully not repeated) circumstances letting it down it's definitely one to check out if you're in the area.

[pros]

• Amazing pub, fantastic hidden gem
• Thick, fresh, high quality chicken breast
• Plenty of cheese and napoli - No nude schnitzel
• Deceptively big
• Plenty of sides, massive salad

[/pros]

[cons]

• No ham
• Parma was warm at best
• Chips were undercooked
• Salad was bland

[/cons]

Parma - 7.75

Chips - 6.17

Salad - 5.50

Value - 5.67

Total - 6.57

The search continues...

Cooking with Parma Daze #3 - 'Cooking Parmas for the Lazy Man'

After we threw in the napkins on last week's Mega Parma Challenge, sitting around the table moaning and clutching our stomachs, the topic of where we were heading the following week came up. Now bear in mind we had just eaten the majority of this...

So at the time the idea of eating any more chicken - no matter how far in the future it may be, turned our stomachs.

It was decided amongst the table that we were gonna take a week off, to digest, collect ourselves, have a little cry and ponder what decisions we made in our lives that culminated in us attempting to eat 1.5 kilos of chicken. We parted ways and left it at that.

Fast forward to this week - The first Thursday I have had off (while being in Melbourne) for quite some time. I felt lost ... The mega parma was well and truly digested and I was getting that familiar hankering, yet I brushed it aside and headed to my local butcher in North Essendon - Famous for their Chicken Kievs. If I couldn't indulge in my favourite crumbed chicken dish I was swapping it out for my 2nd favourite ... Who doesn't love a good Kiev? Nothing beats the feeling of putting a knife through a freshly cooked kiev and unleashing a river of molten garlic butter through your chips (or rice, or mashed potatoes. Everything goes with Kiev)... I bet you're thinking about having a kiev right now.

As I said, the local butchers, or "North Essendon Gourmet Butchery" has got a bit of a name in the area as the best place to go for your meat. Be it some rissoles for the barbie, a slab of succulent roast pork or the aforementioned chicken kiev - 1083 Mount Alexander Rd is the place to be.

I finished work for the day and stopped off in the shopping strip to grab the kievs, when walking into the butchers a sign on the glass caught my eye...

It was fate. Even when I actively tried to avoid having a parma on a Thursday, the parma found me. It was like "Final Destination" but with pieces of schnitzel.

Well this definitely threw a spanner in the works! I could almost taste the garlic butter on my tongue, yet how could I turn down the promise of an oven ready parma? On parma night no less! I put the kievs on hold and got a parma instead (the last one left, The wife still got her kiev, so she was happy). This unexpected parmage was going to be interesting, thats for sure. We've had Microwave parmas before, we've had take away parmas before, we've even had Lite n' Easy parmas before - But never have we done a raw, oven ready parma from a butcher ... this was unknown territory.

Now at this point it was half past five, I had resigned myself to doing no more cooking than putting the kievs in the oven - maybe boiling some rice. But thats no way to treat a parma, a parma needs sides! Yet... It was 5:30, I was nearly home and was feeling incredibly lazy. Then inspiration struck. The parma is oven ready, why not try to put together a proper parma with only oven ready (or pre-packaged) ingredients? After a quick stop at Coles I was good to go. It was a very close call, but like a phoenix from the ashes parma night had been resurrected!

I got home and had a look at the package the butcher had bagged up -

For perspective that is a large foil tray, if you've ever ordered a parma from your local pizza shop you'd know what size we're talking about. Pretty sizable, and for a moment I thought it might be complete with sides as the container seemed rather heavy. I opened up the box and...

No sides! But still a pretty big parma, much bigger than I thought, although (from what I could see) I was a little concerned about the thickness of the schnitz, it was kindve hard to tell through the napoli and cheese if the foundation was any good. I preheated the oven and set the parma aside.

Now, as for the salad, I went for this...

I considered going all out and getting some coleslaw as well, but after spending $5 on the salad, the cost of the sides with coleslaw would have been more than I paid for the parma. This seemed good enough, I love when I'm at a pub and they put cheese through the salad - so surely this would do the trick.

The oven was pre-heated, I slid the parma in and we were good to go.

Now we play the waiting game.

While we wait, how about a riddle?

A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his apartment... Why?

I always loved these lateral thinking puzzles as a kid. I had a book of them and used to relentlessly annoy people around me by constantly quizzing them. I guess I haven't grown out of that yet.

Anyway, give up? The guy is short, he can only reach to the button for number 10, but if there's someone in the elevator with him to ask, or he has his umbrella to push the button, he can reach his floor directly.

Oh look, The parma is done...

Not. too. shabby!

I went with potato gems as an alternative to chips, just for something a bit different! Although the entire time I was preparing them I was thinking to myself "Napoleon, Gimme some of your tots"

I cracked a beer, sat down and tucked in, The schnitz was thicker than I expected, not massively thick, but definitely nothing to complain about. There wasn't any ham, which was a bit of a disappointment, but there was plenty of cheese and napoli to make up for it. The chicken quality was top notch - I was a little worried that they would use the cover of toppings to hide their crappier cuts of chicken as some butchers do, yet this was pure white chicken breast all the way through.

The crumbs were heavily herbed and added a great flavour to the dish (they clearly used the same crumbs that they use on their kievs, as this parma reminded me a lot of a flat kiev covered in napoli and cheese ... although doesn't that sound delicious?)

Yet the crumbs are where we get to this parma's major problem - there were just too many of them. The parma was thick enough, we have had parmas at pubs where the parma was half the thickness of this one, yet the oven ready parma was just so thick with crumbs that it was pretty much all you could taste, the texture of all that crumb overpowered the meal quite a bit.

Other than that its pretty hard to find fault, we have had much, much worse parmas at pubs, for a heftier price tag at that.

The potato gems actually served their purpose well, They went perfectly with the chicken and were a refreshing change - If I went to a pub and they served the parma with a side of tots instead of chips I'd be more than happy.

The salad wasn't fantastic, as expected for a salad from a supermarket fridge. Although the fact that my pile of salad was 40% cheese definitely helped it out a lot, Like I said with the parma - we've had worse.

Now a new feature to Parma Daze reviews - the Pros and Cons list!

[pros]

• Great quality chicken
• Potato Gems go surprisingly well with a parma
• Plenty of toppings, no nude schnitz in sight
• A damn good parma for $7.95

[/pros][cons]

• Too much crumbing, overpowered the dish.
• A slice of ham would have helped

[/cons]

Out of all the take-away,  microwave, or home-cooked parmas we've had, this was by far the best - If you're after a hassle free parma in the comfort of your own home it definitely can't be beat, and for $7.95 its fantastic value (although I spent extra on the sides, so the final price depends on what you want with it). If you live in the Essendon area I recommend giving it a go.

Be aware the oven-ready parmas are only as permanent as the sheet of butcher paper on the window, so no promises that it'll still be there when you arrive - but if we all go and buy them maybe they'll become a regular part of the selection, the fact that I got there at 5:30 and it was the last one left bodes well for their success, I think word must be getting around.

If its a rainy night and all you want to do is stay in, watch the footy finals and maybe impress your significant other with your cooking skills without actually doing anything, then it's definitely worth a try, I'm calling the Pre-packaged parma experiment a success.

And if you want to start kievdaze.com let me know.

Oh one more thing - We now have merch available! A whole range of parma related shirts for your purchasing pleasure, click here to get to our merch section, or click the button up the top. Enjoy!

Merch now available!

That's right! Now you can get a selection of parma related threads for you to wear all over your body! All of the shirts are fully customisable, once you click through from the design you like you can get a full range of colours, cuts, you can even slap it on a hoodie if you want!

Keep an eye on the store for updates, its just tops at the moment but we're hoping to expand into posters, stickers and other goodies very soon - and if you have an idea for a design be sure to let us know so we can get it up for you!

Click here or on the button that says "Merch" up the top. Enjoy! After your purchase arrives be sure to send a photo of yourself in your new threads for our gallery via Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or good old fashioned email - We keep our ears open everywhere.

Special Attempt - 'The Laurel Hotel Mega Parma Challenge'

Where? - The Laurel Hotel, 289 Mount Alexander Road, Ascot Vale

Price? - $40 (for mega-parma, chips, salad and pint)

Website? - http://www.laurelhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

A few weeks ago it came to our attention that there was a new parma eating challenge in town. But this one was different to some of the others we have tried in the past - This challenge was offering a pretty substantial prize...

A years worth of free parmas to the person who downs this bird the fastest. Thats a spicy meat-a-ball!

We had visited The Laurel in the past, way back in 2010 it was the seventeenth parma we did, Now this week's challenge isn't about taste, so if you want a review of the regular parma I think the one linked there still holds up (although it looks like they've altered the chips since the last time we had it).

When I finished work on Thursday afternoon I was cocky, I was confident, I thought it would be a breeze! Feeling a bit peckish I made myself a vegemite sandwich to hold me over until 7 o'clock. It was a different time... so young and naive.

We arrived at The Laurel and took our seats, Four of us (Myself, Cale, Stefo and Dale) went for the Mega-Parma challenge, while reviewer Nikki did the sensible thing and got the regular parma. We were chatting to the chef afterwards and he said that the standard Laurel parma comes in at about 300g of chicken. The mega-parma is 1.5kg of chicken - For those terrible at math that means that a single mega-parma has the same amount of chicken as five standard parmas. We placed our orders and waited.

First thing to arrive was our assigned number -

Along with a form to fill out with our details, as well as an explaination of the rules (No getting up, no sharing, no hiding food, must finish parma, chips, salad and pint to be eligible, etc. etc. etc.) as well as a liability waiver if our stomach explodes after consumption. I was starting to get nervous at this point.

Before I show you the Mega-Parma, I'll show you the Laurels regular parma, purely for size comparison, This is what Reviewer Nikki was delivered...

This is what we got...

Its hard to comprehend just through pictures how big this bastard is. Thats a steak knife to the right, hopefully that can give you a little bit of perspective. It was big, that's all I will say. Underneath the parma was a healthy layer of chips, the salad was just a couple of lettuce leaves, good to break up the massive onslaught of chicken I was about to unleash on my body, but small enough to be insignificant in terms of stomach real-estate.

Cale, Stefo and Dale ready to go. This photo kind've puts them in perspective. It's bigger than Dale's head

The waitress came over, collected out waivers and set up four stop watches. We asked how quickly we had to eat it to make it onto the leaderboard, she said the current fastest time is 7 minutes and 30 seconds, completed by professional eater and friend of Parma Daze Hungry Haydo - This man is a champion of food consumption, you can check out his YouTube channel here. After 7:30 the times really open up - At the time of writing this to be in the top 6 and get into the finals you need to have a time of less than 28 minutes. That was enough to give me hope. I could do this. I could do this. I shouldn't have eaten that sandwich. I could do this.

The stopwatch starts at the time of the first bite. Ready? Go.

It was so. much. chicken.

My strategy was to go fast, be done before my stomach knows that its full - I've heard that works. So I hoed in. On cutting in I realised something, this parma wasn't only huge - it was thick. Fluctuating throughout the parma, of course - but there were plenty of areas that cracked the inch thickness mark.

The first few mouthfuls flew, but by about forkfull eight or nine I started to slow. This was gonna be harder than I thought, not just because I was getting full, but the constant onslaught of chicken after chicken started to get to me. I switched it up, a sip of the pint, a couple of chips, a bit of salad, then chicken. This kept me going for a while as it broke up the monotony a little, this worked for a while but then I realised my mistake - the pint.

Water would have been fine, but the carbonated pint brought on the burps, and when you're trying to focus to put as much stuff in to your stomach as possible the last thing you want is having to stop and let air out.

I kept my eyes on the time, When the 7 minutes and 30 second mark (the current time to beat) ticked past I was about a quarter of the way through and already feeling quite full, It was around this time that It dawned on me that I wasn't going to finish. I slowed up, snacked on some chips, and kept at it.

By twelve minutes I was done. Admitting defeat I wiped my mouth and threw the napkin on top of the parma (the universal sign for 'get this fucking food away from me')

At the end my plate looked like this -

There was still a full parma there, at least.

As for the cross section, I sliced what I had left down the middle (down the shortest edge) and put a fork on top for perspective , you can see the layer of chips beneath and the multi-layers of ham on top, this wasn't the thickest section of the schnitzel either - It got much thicker in other areas.

Slowly but surely, Cale and Stefo admitted defeat. Yet hope was not lost - Reviewer Dale was still going strong, He was our last hope ... Could he complete the challenge and save our dignity?

He pushed on, slowly but surely he worked his way through the parma. He had probably half-a-parma to go (around the 30 minute mark) by this point when he could take no more. Dale through in the napkin and we all admitted we were beaten.

So close... yet so far.

Reviewer Nikki couldn't even finish her regular sized parma, probably for the best that she didn't try the challenge.

If you reckon you can take it on, I'd say give it a go... You'll feel terrible for a few hours afterwards and you'll probably shit the bed, but definitely give it a go. The $40 entry fee covers the parma, chips, salad and pint - thats a pretty good deal considering the amount of food you're getting.

If you want to give it a go yourself the competition is open until the 21st of December, Although I'd advise not leaving it till the last day as the finals are being held on the 22nd of December (you won't have to shell out another $40 for the finals, if you make it into the top 6 the finals are a freebie). Full details at The Laurel's Website. A years worth of free parmas is a great incentive.

If you wind up trying the challenge yourself, be sure to tweet us with your victory photo and thoughts on how it went! I'm curious to see everyone else's experience.

At the time I regretted it, but I'm glad I did it. I'd recommend going and trying it out, or at least convincing your mate to give it a go and laughing at his pain, as all good mates do.

I really shouldn't have had that sandwich.

The search continues...

United States of America #3 - 'The Australian'

[info]When? - 18th of July, 2013

Where? - The Australian. 20 W 38th St #1  New York, NY

Price? - $18 USD, $20 USD if you want it "Victorian Style" (with ham)

Website? - http://www.theaustraliannyc.com/

Reviewers – Grace, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Tony [/info]

It has become a bit of a tradition that whenever I go overseas I find a parma (or the closest approximation of a parma that I can find in the area) and give it a review, In the USA we've found a lot of "Chicken Parmesan", but never a good old fashioned parma.

Americans have an odd take on the parma (odd from our perspective anyway) as you will see from reading our last two attempts in the USA, the "chicken parmesan" sticks a lot closer to its Italian roots than it does to the classic Aussie pub meal we have come to know and love. Served almost exclusively in Italian restaurants, the parmesan consists of a schnitz, coated in napoli (or "marinara" sauce) a little bit of cheese (usually just a sprinkle of parmesan, hence the name) and served with a side of napoletana pasta. Its different, it can be tasty, but its not a Parma.

Regular readers will know that I recently took a few weeks off the parma hunt for a trip overseas. Over the course of 3 weeks we visited Vegas, Montana, New York, LA, San Fran and Hawaii - yet over that three weeks I only managed to get one parma on the books. Luckily It was a classic Aussie parma, found in the most unlikely of locations. New York City.

We got to New York about halfway through the trip - So I was definitely jonezing for a parma at this point - Not just a parma, but also an escape from the constant onslaught of America. I love the USA but sometimes you just need to escape. Before we left I had heard about this pub called "The Australian" in New York City, an Aussie themed pub in the middle of New York. I was pumped. We dropped off our bags and headed to the garment district.

I was a little worried while walking to The Australian that it wasn't going to be real Australian, Anyone who has been to Outback Steakhouse will know exactly what I mean, Outback is about as Aussie as Bridie O'reilleys is Irish, actually, its worse than Bridies, as Bridies actually tries somewhat to have faux irish cuisine on the menu. Anyway, I've gotten off topic.

We arrived at The Australian and were greeted with an Aussie accent - a great sign. The pub is cosy, narrow and deep with a bar running along the front and opening up to tables out the back. With heaps of TV's lining the walls, all playing AFL -  You could easily forget that you were halfway around the world from home.

It was time for food, Looking at the menu was a breath of fresh air - all of the food was authentic Aussie cuisine, from wedges, meat pies, sausage rolls and even possibly the only chicko roll served in the entire USA. We spied our target -

Of course, we went "Victorian Style" and got the extra slice of ham.

While waiting for our food we kicked back, watched a bit of footy, and honestly forgot that we were in New York City for awhile - It was a fantastic experience.

Then the moment came, our parmas arrived...

It was a real parma! after weeks consisting entirely on burgers, nachos and onion rings I finally had a real parma sitting in front of me! Without hesitation I tucked in. It was so damn good I started humming Advance Australia Fair as I ate.

The schnitzel was pretty sizable, a little overcooked but nothing to complain about, there was plenty of cheese, napoli and ham, which all carried their flavour perfectly and worked well with each other. It wasn't overcrumbed, it wasnt underseasoned. Other than some slight nudity around the edges and the aforementioned overcooking It was a damn good parma. I'd definitely recommend it "Victorian Style", ham is the way to go.

There was a big pile of steak chips, well cooked and set beside the parma as opposed to under it - They were pretty unseasoned when they arrived, but moments after dropping off the parmas our very friendly Aussie waitress then delivered a few bottles of tomato sauce, which made everything better.

The garden salad was a bit of nothingness, but it did its job perfectly, Lettuce, tomato, onion, carrot and a mustard-seeded dressing, it was nothing to write home about, but it was nothing to complain about either.

I really enjoyed the parma, and for $20 USD plus tip its definitely worth giving a go - I may be a little biased in this review as we were rather parma-starved and possibly a little homesick at the time of consuming it, but you know what? Any pub that goes this far to properly represent Australian culture in a faraway land definitely deserves extra points in my book.

The Australian is an Aussie ex-pats dream. They open early when there's a big Aussie sports game on to show it live, and (from what I can see on their twitter) they throw a kick-ass Australia Day party. If I ever wound up living in New York my choice of apartment would definitely be influenced by proximity to The Australian. If ever you find yourself in the city that never sleeps, be sure to stop in and say G'day.

Oh, And for desert we had Tim Tams and Ice Cream. Something I've never had in Australia, but it just felt so right...

The search continues...

Attempt #154 - 'The Castle Hotel: Redux'

[info]When? - 29th of August, 2013

Where? - The Castle Hotel. 56 Courtney St. North Melbourne.

Price? - $20

Website? - http://www.thecastlehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Tony, Stefo[/info]

It's Redo week! Where we find a pub that feels harshly done by and give them another shot. This week we had The Castle Hotel in our sights, A pub we visited just shy of 100 parmas ago (check here to read about the last time we stopped in)

First things first, since we last went to The Castle there has been some major changes. New owners, new management, new menu, new parma, and even the pub itself has had a funky facelift.

I always liked The Castle as a pub - it's in a great location and has a fantastic vibe inside. With plenty of room in the dining area, a less formal lounge area for bar snacks and a spacious sports bar with big screen, pool tables and a couple of couches - Which is why I was so bitterly dissappointed with the parma we tried last time. Hoping that they've lifted their game, we checked the menu -

Nice, simple, straight to the point, The first good sign there was some change, as compared to the menu last time around -

Not that I'm against creative menu descriptions, but that menu wrote a cheque that The Castle couldn't cash, if memory serves I described the previous parma experience akin to eating a pair of beige pants. Not the best.

We placed our orders and awaited the arrival of our dinner. I sauntered over to the bar to get my next pint and had a gander of the beers available. As far as selection goes not too shabby at all - They've got Ten different taps going at the Castle (9 beer, 1 cider) as well as a selection of over 40 bottled beers and ciders - with a major Belgian influence - It'd be a hard person to please who couldn't find a beer to tickle their fancy at The Castle Hotel.

There was a bit of a wait for the meals, I was more than 3/4 through my freshly poured pint before our meals came from the kitchen - There's the old saying "good food takes time to prepare". God I hope that held true.

As is standard with Redo Week - first lets take a look at the parma last time around...

And now ... The new one -

Now thats a parma.

The schnitzel itself was thick, juicy and hand crumbed. worlds ahead of the processed lump we got last time. Gone was the slice of ham (unfortunately) but there was plenty of perfectly melty cheese and fresh, flavoursome napoli on top. It was served piping hot, fresh and delicious. The ham was definitely missed, A bit of pig would have really added some 'oomph' to this parma and elevated it from 'great' to 'fantastic'.

One of the best redo comebacks we've seen for sure, it wasn't perfect... But this is what we want from Redo Week.

The cross section after-photo didn't come out so great, steam from the parma fogged up my lens and I didn't realise till after I had polished it off, but you can kinda see the difference with this before and after shot -

much better

The chips were also better. There were heaps of them and like the parma they were hot and crunchy, I also detected a bit of chicken salt on there, I would have been happy with just that, and then the waitress brought us a round of individual sauce pots. Bonus!

The salad is where this parma fell over. Gone was the side-bowl (one of the only things the previous version did right). Some lettuce that was over-dressed yet somehow remained dry, a few slivers of onion and some tomato - There were reports of cucumber as well but that wasn't consistent around the table. A bit disappointing after the first two elements did so well, but you can't win them all.

For $20 I cannot complain about the Castle's new parma. I'd happily return and pay that again with no complaint at all. I saw a few burgers coming out of the kitchen as we were awaiting our parmas and they looked amazing - definitely worth checking out.

The parma was fresh, the chips were tasty but the less said about the salad the better. There is still room for improvement at the castle (ham please!) but overall this is a damn good parma and a hell of an improvement from what it was, I have absolutely no qualms recommending you give this place a go.

Parma - 7.36

Chips - 6.29

Salad - 4.93

Value - 7.14

Total - 6.61

The search continues...

Attempt #153 -'The Cricketers Arms'

[info]When? - 22nd of August, 2013

Where? - The Cricketers Arms, 69 Cruikshank St. Port Melbourne.

Price? - $23

Website? - http://www.thecricketersarms.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Tony, Stefo[/info]

**EDIT** Just got word that the owners sold the pub and it shut doors on June 28 2016, and that the Cricketers is currently closed for renovations ... Stay tuned for more info once it re-opens!

The Cricketers Arms call themselves "Port Melbourne's best kept secret" - and I don't think they're too far off.

If you went purely from the unassuming exterior you would expect nothing more than a quiet backstreets local with a collection of regulars sipping on after-work pots while keeping an eye on the TV. And if you stop at the front room of the Cricketers thats exactly what you will find.

However if you push through the public bar, out the back you will find a gorgeous little dining room, beautifully furnished and serving some damn good looking meals - beyond that is the expansive courtyard, complete with outdoor bar, retractable roof (with plenty of heaters for poor-weather evenings) and plenty of seating. Seeing the dichotomy between the front bar and the back area is definitely worth the visit alone.

The Courtyard

We arrived at the Cricketers and took our seats out in the beer garden, I was worried that the poor weather would leave us cold and damp, however with the retractable roof and abundance of heaters you could easily forget you were outside at all.

Shortly into our first pint a lovely couple came to our table, selling tickets to a meat tray raffle - I loved this,  (although we didn't win) it added some entertainment to the night, as well as gave the place a fantastic inviting country pub feel.

Before ordering we realised that Thursday night at The Cricketers is "Spit roast night", I couldn't help but felt left out as hungry patrons lined up at the spinning meat, loading their plates high with goodies (a full range of sides, roast potatoes, corn, bread rolls etc). It looked phenomenal, however we were there for one thing. (**EDIT** Just found out that the Spit Roast Night is no longer a thing, oh well! Good thing the parma was great. Is that a spoiler? oh well, yeah... its pretty awesome.)

We placed our order with the friendly bar staff (everyone who worked at the cricketers was great. The staff were welcoming, in high spirits and happy to have a laugh with the patrons - great to see in a place like this)

I picked up a bottle of "Cricketers Arms lager" from the outdoor bar and we awaited the arrival of our dinner. As my empty stubby hit the table our meals arrived.

It was a little dark at the table, I shifted across to a more well lit area and tried to snap a better shot - Neither turned out stellar, but its the best I could get on the night.

I'm always a fan of quality over quantity in my parmas, and the parma at the Cricketers is definitely one of those. The schnitzel, while not being massive, was the paramount of quality. Hand crumbed and herbed, pure chicken breast - probably the juiciest parma we have come across to date!

There was quite a bit of schnitzel nudity, which is probably the only negative to the dish - the toppings were amazing (which I will get to in a moment), and although the schnitzel itself was delicious on its own I would have loved to have enough toppings to cover it all.

The napoli was fresh and tasty, the 4 cheese mix was inspired, carrying a fantastic flavour through the parma and the choice of pancetta instead of straight ham is inspired. - it added just enough flavour so you knew it was there, but didn't overpower the dish - a risk that is often run when using a different cured meat, such as prosciutto.

This was an outstanding parma with only a couple of very minor issues, however the good absolutely dwarfs the bad leaving a parma you'd be silly not to try.

The beer battered & herb dusted chips were almost as good as the schnitzel. Pure chip perfection that I didn't want to end. The starter's menu offers the same chips with a choice of gravy, garlic aioli or mustard mayo - it'd be worth the visit just for these.

Compared to the rest of the meal the salad was a little uninspired. It was of a higher quantity than most of the garden salads we come across (the shaved carrot was a lovely touch) but in the end it was still just a garden salad.

For $23 I was more than happy with the meal we received. Compared to last week's lukewarm garbage that ran at $22 this dish is manna from heaven. There is a $15 parma night that runs on Wednesday's that is definitely worth checking out, although I cannot attest to how the cheaper variety compares to the full priced version.

I unashamedly love this pub, a quaint little backstreets local that I could see visiting regularly if I didn't live on the opposite end of Melbourne. There's so much more I want to try on return visits - The spit roast, the bowl of chips, the steak sandwich... hell everything on the menu looks appetising!

"Port Melbourne's best kept secret" isn't far off...

Parma - 8.69

Chips - 8.56

Salad - 6.60

Value - 7.31

Total - 7.97

The search continues...

Attempt #152 - 'Browns Corner Hotel'

When? - 16th of August, 2013

Where? - Browns Corner Hotel. Corner Sydney Rd. & Bell St, Coburg

Price? - $22 (see review for clarification)

Website? - http://www.brownscornerhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Fridge, Janet, Kylie, Lee, Nikki, Tony, Shanan, Stefo

UPDATE - 19/10/18 - WE REVISITED BROWNS 5 YEARS LATER TO SEE IF THE PARMA HAD IMPROVED. CHECK OUT THE NEW REVIEW HERE!

After a 3 week break from the hunt for the perfect parma I was absolutely hanging to get out to the pub last night, there was no Facebook poll the week before so Browns Corner Hotel was picked purely out of proximity from everyone's houses - Didn't really want to dive into a long hike the first week back, and being on the corner of Bell St and Sydney Rd its a pub I've passed quite a few times and always been curious about.

When it comes to different prices for the same parma I think Browns takes the cake, It wasn't until we took a seat in the Bistro that we noticed this, but Browns has quite a few different charges for their parmage. $22 in the bistro, $18 in the sports bar, $14 in the sports bar on Thursdays (the night we were there) and a $10 parma night on Monday night - We have found a few pubs that puts out a sub-par parma in the sports bar/cheaper areas, so we decided to spend the extra few bucks and eat in the bistro just in case - I really wanted a good parma this week.

The pub itself is pretty standard 'family pub' fare. Main bar, Bistro, Beer Garden and small Pokies area. The Main bar looked spacious and inviting, with a few pool tables for entertainment (as well as a QuizMeisters Trivia running on Thursday night that we didn't partake in). Not much creativity  in the way of beers on tap. Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Bulmers, VB. The usual suspects.

Checked the bistro menu to confirm...

And placed our order at the Bistro, also going for an entree of bruscetta as a bit of a pre-game... Although I don't think you can actually call it an "entree" when it arrives at the same time as the nine parmas we ordered (it actually arrived between parmas 6 and 7)

My heart sank. I was hanging for a good parma this week and from first glance this wasn't it. My parma (pictured above) had more cheese than the others, some having what looked like a poker-chip sized dollop in the middle of a splash of napoli.

They used real chicken in the schnitzel, it was a good thickness and conservatively crumbed - but thats where the positives end.

Somehow, despite a lot of nudity, The schnitz remained soggy and was very undercooked - bearing the colouring of a piece of grilled fish, yet was still rather dry. Light on the toppings, what was there was so bland I think a coaster would have carried more flavour. The cheese, the ham and the napoli were all a non-event. Even the single basil leaf I found underneath my ham did very little to add any flavour at all. I think everyone at the table reached for the salt and pepper shakers in a vain attempt to bring this bird back to life.

Worst of all, it was cold. I'd say lukewarm at best - Our table in the bistro was right in front of the kitchen and I could see our parmas sitting under the heat lamps for quite a few minutes before being brought to our table - yet somehow it still remained tepid. Very disappointing for the first parma back.

The chips were actually quite good, probably the saving grace of the whole meal. Beer battered, golden brown and crunchy. A little under seasoned but not criminally so, If they had've been beside a better parma they would have been a fine accompaniment to the dish - however when your chips are the best thing on the plate you know something has gone horribly wrong.

The salad, Like the parma, was boring. Garden salad with lettuce, cucumber, tomato and a splash of balsamic that was partially killed from its time under the heat lamps . Normally when I've got a flavourless parma I can pick some onion out of the salad and put it on the parma to give it a bit of a kick (there's a life-trick for you!) but in this case the salad wasn't even good for that.

For $22 I feel ripped off. If the parma had've been the same in the sports bar for $14 I still would be disappointed, but not as angry. The parma we received would have been passable for $10 parma Monday, but just barely (a free pot would help). If Browns wants to charge $22 for a chicken parma they've really got to lift their game.

The parma at Browns Corner Hotel is a bland, dry, expensive, lukewarm mess (I was going to call it a "hot mess" but that almost seems like a compliment). It pains me to see a quality piece of schnitzel destroyed like that - So much potential wasted. It would take a lot of convincing to get me to go back there again, especially with so many other outstanding options on Sydney Road - Its not often that I expressly say not to go to a pub for a parma, but its definitely safe to give this one a miss.

Parma - 2.57

Chips - 4.57

Salad - 2.21

Value - 2.36

Total - 2.86

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'Subway Chicken Parmigiana Melt'

According to my itinerary, at the time this post goes live I will be in California, either on my way to Disneyland or driving between LA and San Francisco. I bet the parmas suck.

If you read last week's post you know the drill, I'm out of town for 3 weeks and I'm banking these posts ahead of time so you, faithful reader, aren't left in the cold while I'm off on an international jaunt with a hefty chunk of the review team. So I'm not wasting one of Melbourne's fine parma-producing institutions on a half-arsed quicky review I'm taking this opportunity to check out the "kind've parmas", the ones not deserving of a fully-fledged parma review yet at the same time shouldn't be completely ignored.

Which brings us to Subway.

[youtube id="Je0W5-p9Hh4" width="580" height="337"]

As the commercial above states, these days the Subway sandwich shop does a chicken parma sub. Now I'll say from the get-go that, although I love a bit of Subway, I've never been a fan of chicken parma sandwiches - something about the mixture of napoli sauce and bread just doesn't go together properly. But hey, the commercial looks good, lets give it a go.

I entered the empty store at about 6pm (I've always considered Subway a lunch food and not a dinner food, so that doesn't really surprise me) Everyone who visits Subway regularly has their standard ordering procedure locked into their brain. They know what they like and how to order it (Italian herbs & cheese bread, chicken fillet, lettuce, onion, olives, jalapenos and ranch sauce with salt & pepper) So I can't actually remember the last time I looked at the menu - standing there, looking like a complete Subway n00b, I spotted the "Chicken Parmigiana Melt" and approached the sandwich construction station.

Seeing as I was inspired by the commercial, I tried to keep my order as close to what the guy in the ad has possible. Starting with a 6-inch Italian herbs and cheese base I shuffled down the line. The first thing that struck me was that a different chicken fillet is used for the parma than a regular subway chicken fillet - I was completely unaware that Subway stocked chicken schnitzels these days - but like I said, I rarely look beyond my standard order. This was a bit of a disappointment, as I love Subway's chicken fillets - but I didn't want to deviate too far off menu, so I stuck with what she gave me.

Chicken fillet, cheddar cheese, napoli (or marinara sauce, as apparently we're American) toasted.

Hold on... Where's the melt? My 'Chicken parmigiana melt' had no mozzarella on it, nor was I asked if I wanted mozzarella - When asked if I wanted cheese, I said yes, she responded "Cheddar, Old English or Swiss" I chose cheddar and just assumed that, as I ordered a chicken parmigiana melt that the mozzarella cheese was kind've a given. I didn't notice until it was out of the toaster that there was no mozzarella - oh well, Moving on to salads.

Again, keeping with the commercial I kept it simple - Lettuce, onion, cucumber and olives (in the ad they had tomato slices as well, but I'm not a fan of raw tomato so I omitted it from my "interpretation").

No extra sauce on top other than the napoli, a bit of salt & pepper and I was done! out the door with my freshly toasted chicken parma sub - In & out the door in about 4 minutes flat, a good turnaround time if this turns out to be a decent sandwich.

Wrapped up tightly

I got it home and began the photoshoot, Unwrapping it revealed the napoli had leaked quite a bit, leaving quite the mess on the paper...

The finished product

I'm not sure how long it was under the toaster, but it can't have been more than twenty seconds - hardly enough time to melt anything, however it was still quite warm, even after the 3 minute trip from Subway to my Apartment.

For research purposes I deconstructed the sandwich to get a proper look at what we were dealing with...

The layers of the sub, salad-wise it was a bit sparse down one end and packed on the other, with no regard for proper salad distribution! (gosh!)

 Two slices of ham, a squirt of napoli, not a lot of cheese, a surprisingly large schnitzel fillet and some very poorly distributed salad. That's what we are working with here. I closed her up, sliced it in half for the below cross section photo, and tucked in.

It actually doesn't look too bad from this pic

I was quite surprised with how thick the schnitzel fillet was, but that's about where the positives end - Processed to the max, it had the consistency of a giant frozen chicken nugget that has spent 2 minutes in the microwave. It didn't taste particularly bad at all, but even compared to the regular subway chicken fillet the schnitzel is about as tasty as a moist sponge. Speaking of sponges - I have no idea where the napoli went. Other than a red tinge to the top of the schnitz there was no sauce to be found, it had all soaked into either the crumbs below or the bread on top, either that or ... Ya know ...

The ham was tasteless, the cheese was tasteless (I should've gone with old english or swiss, cheddar is just boring) and the schnitz was tasteless - when the most interesting flavour in the sandwich is the cucumber you know you're in trouble.

Actually, I can't really fault them on the salad - the lettuce, cucumber and onion were all crisp and fresh, and when I got to the end where all the olives were they actually tasted pretty good.

The Subway chicken parma sub is a whole lot of nothing. Tasteless processed meats stacked atop each other and squished into bread - If you swapped out the spongey schnitzels for the infinitely tastier chicken fillets and added some bolder flavours (come at me, jalepenos) then it'd be salvageable - I suppose that's the good thing about Subway - if you don't like it you're free to change it!

Things should be back to normal next week, No more take-away parmas, we'll be back in the saddle with a fully-fledged parma review!

Special Attempt - 'Four n Twenty chicken parma pie'

photo (3)

I am typing this on Sunday the 23rd of June, if all goes to plan you will be reading it sometime towards the end of July - How is the future going? have we got those flying cars that fold into suitcases like on the Jetsons? That'd be awesome...

I'm hoping future me has already covered this on the Facebook or Twitter, but the reason I'm doing this is that for 3 weeks from late July to early August I'll be on holiday in the United States (tasting the best parmas our neighbours to the north have to offer, no doubt) So instead of regular reviews things are gonna be slightly different for the next couple of updates. I'm writing this review early and banking it for upload later.

I first heard about the Four N' Twenty parma pie around July last year, when a video surfaced on youtube, which has since been taken down :(

"That'd be on par with the chicken parmi down at the pub" says one of the blokes in the video. Hmmm. big call mate! (and I'll be kind and overlook his use of the word "parmi" instead of "parma" ... to each their own.

After seeing that vid I kept my eyes out for the Parma Pie - but to no avail. In the video they seem to be mostly outside the 7-11 on the corner of Bourke & Swanston st, yet every slev I visited in search for the parma pie had their own "Munch" brand of pies, and while I'm sure "munch" pies are tasty in their own right, they're not Four n Twenty. And they don't contain parmas.

After a while I had considered it a lost cause, the parma pie falling into legend - Until recently I noticed the occasional post on Twitter and Instagram of people taking photos of the fabled parma pie. They did exist - but from what I could gather, not in service stations - The Supermarket is where I should have been looking.

This morning I set out on a mission. My plan was to scour this fair city, Hit every 7-11, Shell, Safeway, Coles, IGA and Aldi that I could find until I found the parma pie. I vowed to not return home until I found one, I didn't care if it took me all day.

Luckily, I found them in the first supermarket I went to, Thanks Safeway!

photo (2)

$2.29 RRP or $1.85 with an everyday rewards card. Not too shabby! The first one had a tear in the packaging (as you can see in the photo) so I skipped that one, grabbed three others and headed home.

This is gonna be a picture heavy post - I know it's annoying to only have a sentence or so in between a wall of photos, but you're gonna have to deal with it. Cool? Cool.

photo (1)

The packaging is slightly different than the youtube vid, rather than that crinkly plastic you normally find on pies in a servo, these were in a thicker paper/plastic hybrid - the paper that is designed for microwave use, so that the pie itself doesn't go soggy when it goes 3 minutes in the radiation chamber.

The instructions state to open each end, then microwave for 3 minutes ...

photo (4)

The frozen pie, about to go in the microwave

photo (5)

The finished product

I was a little scared. Would it be any good? Could it be any good? Amazingly I had heard good things about the parma pie, all the mentions on Twitter seemed to cast it in a positive light.

It was bloody hot coming out of the micro, so I let it sit for a couple of minutes before tucking in.

 Rather than go in blind, I sliced to pie in half for a cross section, just to see whats going on in there...

photo (6)

Firstly, inside the pie there is a lot of sauce. a combination of napoli and cheese that manages to maintain a temperature hotter than that of molten lava, even after a few minutes posing for photos. Before cracking it open I was curious to see how they would pull off the "schnitzel" portion of a parma pie, and to be honest, their solution is quite ingenious...

photo (7)

Schnitzel balls! These are what make up the chicken in the chicken parma, the pie is full of little balls of chicken schnitz. I managed to extract one for closer examination (I put the coin in to give you some perspective on size...)

photo (8)

Freshly plucked from the pie

photo

Schnitzel ball cross section

First thoughts - Impressed! Four n' Twenty have actually put some thought into how to make a legit parma pie, after the photos were done I tucked in. And instantly burnt my lip ... fucking thing.

But third degree scaldings aside, It was better than I expected. It's not "on par with the chicken parmi at the pub" but their was plenty of napoli and melted cheese throughout. I thought I saw a couple of ham cubes (if they weren't ham cubes I'm clueless as to what they actually were), and the balls of chicken schnitz throughout were pretty good quality (processed, of course, but as good as processed chook can be) .

It's a messy pie to eat, the abundance of sauce and cheese was very "drippy" and left quite a few stains down my shirt by the time I was done - but luckily none of the schnitzel balls got away from me.

I wouldn't trade a proper parma for one of these things, but it was actually a damn tasty pie, and for only $2 it's damn hard to complain - for pocket change (less than a can of coke these days) I can pick up one of these, chuck it in the freezer and, should a parma craving strike unexpectedly, have it ready to go at a moments notice - It would definitely tide me over while on the way to the pub.

The other two remain in my freezer, I imagine they will be the perfect drunken snack when I get home after a night out enjoying a few refreshments. It won't beat a regular parma at the pub, but its definitely worth having around - If you see one on your next trip to the supermarket pick it up - for the price its hard to go wrong.

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'KFC Parmy Stacker'

Things are slightly out of order here, I wrote this review on the 18th of July, as a fill-in upload while I'm overseas for the next three weeks - however I wrote *next* week's review on the 23rd of June, but this one seemed more news-worthy than next week's as its a new burger so I've moved it up in the rotation. Got it? good. If you follow that you should watch Primer. Awesome movie.

I'll start this review by saying I am an absolute sucker for the 'limited time only' special burgers at fast food restaurants. From the El Maco to the Double Down to the Angry Angus - I cannot resist a special edition, and I'll always cave and have a go when the new menu addition rolls around.

So when the "Parmy Stacker" came to my attention I was torn, on one hand it was a special burger, but on the other hand it's a fast food parma burger ... could it possibly be any good? I resisted for a few days - however with my apartment being located no more than 50 metres from the entrance to a KFC my resolve did not last long. I had to bite the bullet. I had to try the Parmy Stacker.

Before I get into the burger experience itself, lets talk about the name. Parmy. Now in the 3 years I've been running this site I have tried my hardest to stay impartial on the whole "Parma vs. Parmy" debate, It's a regional thing - Victorians say Parma more often and South Australians tend to say Parmi with the other states flip-flopping between the two depending who you ask. To be honest I don't care - When it comes down to it what you get on the plate is the same, and I'm really not losing sleep that someone else pronounces a single letter of an abbreviated word different to how I do, It's like kicking up a stink that they call potato cakes "Scallops" in NSW... it just doesn't matter. However when I ordered "The Parmy Stacker" the guy at the counter repeated my order back as a "Parma stacker", which I enjoyed.

Anyway, on to the burger.

If you're heading in for a Parmy Stacker you're gonna be presented with a couple of options...

You can go the single or double schnitzel stack, and for an extra 70c you can add bacon. I was very tempted to go all out and get bacon, but I figured for the first go I'd see how it handles without the pork product, I ordered a large Parmy Stacker meal, with chips and a Mountain Dew.

Sidenote: How good is Mountain Dew? It's clearly the best soft drink on the market and I challenge anyone to try and prove me wrong.

Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made.

It's also worth noting (as you can see from the above menu) that you can swap out a burger from a burger box with a single-stack parma burger for $1 extra.

I ordered, got home, and looked at the burger before me -

It was a sizeable burger, before I unwrapped it it could be easily confused with a whopper, going only from weight and girth. I'd be interested to know if KFC are intending on keeping the parmy around as a permanent menu addition, as they seem to have put a lot of work into the packaging and advertising for the thing, and come to think of it the words 'limited time only' don't seem to appear on any of the posters. Hmm. Could it be here to stay?

I unwrapped the beast and took a couple of shots -

Angle 1 -

Angle 2 -

The schnitzels were well sized for a burger and of decent quality - the processed level was over 9000 but that is to be expected from KFC, yet at the same time probably the best fast-food schnitzel I've seen so far. Before tucking In I sliced it in half to get a good view of the insides via cross section -

Please ignore the action figures and Portal gun in the background... actually, don't ignore the Portal gun. It's awesome.

There's plenty of bird here. Not a whole lot of anything else, but plenty of bird. (lettuce? hello?).

I took a bite and was instantly let down, not by the burger itself, but due to the fact that it was stone cold. look at the cheese, it's not even remotely melted. The time from being handed the bag to taking my first bite was no more than 3 minutes, yet it tasted as if it had been sitting out for 20 minutes going on the temperature. I tried to put this aside and focus only on the taste.

There is heaps of napoli on this thing. Oh, actually, apparently napoli is called "Parmy Sauce" now according to KFC, although that might be a more apt description as it is possibly the sweetest napoli I have ever tasted, Mix some dolmio with a couple of tablespoons of maple syrup and you get the idea.

for processed schnitzel it's not that bad, I would say we've actually had worse with some real life parmas. There was only a dusting of lettuce below the burger, a far cry from the veritable salad on the promo image -

But this isn't my first rodeo, I turned Thirty a couple of weeks ago, I know not to expect anything resembling the promo image on fast food advertising.

The oatmeal bun wasn't terrible, if you've had the classic chicken burger from Hungry Jack's (Arguably the best fast-food chicken burger on the market) you'd know what its like. Like the Parmy Sauce it was quite sweet, but it did its job in getting the parma from the table to my mouth without getting my hands dirty, although it was slightly stale.

It was okay, but the lack of temperature really killed it for me, I ended up finishing the first half then sticking the second half in the microwave in attempt to shock some life into it, which worked reasonably well, there was hardly any lettuce to wilt and the semi-stale bun actually benefitted from 15 seconds in the hot box. I enjoyed the second half much more than I did the first.

All up it was a serviceable porta-parma. Albeit quite bland, if I could be assured it was hot, with a fresh bun and probably the addition of bacon then I could be persuaded to have it again, otherwise I'd probably stick to my standard Bacon & Cheese burger combo.

For $11.95 for a regular combo, more if you want bacon and a large combo, it gets a little pricey for what you actually get. We've had better parma night parmas for cheaper and much, much better.

I got this burger from the Essendon North KFC, and with Georges Hamburgers, Fish & Chips just down the road offering a solid take away parma for under $10 It'd be hard to justify going back to KFC if I had a parma craving.

I wouldn't say run out and get it now, but if you're at KFC getting a burger box then it'd be worth chucking in the extra $1 to switch one of the included burgers to a parmy burger, if only to merely to satisfy your curiosity - it's worth a try.

Attempt #151 - 'Pacinos'

 

[info]When? - 18th of July, 2013

Where? - Pacinos Italian Family Restaurant. 300 Epsom Rd, Flemington

Price? - $22.90, $10 Parma Monday

Website? - http://www.pacinos.net.au/

Reviewers – Carly, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Tony S, Stefo[/info]

Never have we tried a pub with a fan base as loyal as Pacinos. I'm a little bit intimidated writing this review as I don't want to piss off the masses and wind up with a brick through my window. You can't turn on the news these days without seeing another report of blog related homicide.

Oh well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow morning, so here goes...

It starting with the voting, on a regular week the results of our facebook poll looks something like this -

Pretty standard, and that is votes collected over the course of seven days.

However when it came to Pacinos, Minutes after I put the poll online, the votes came flooding in, and we ended up with a result that looked like this...

Pretty decisive if you ask me! So it was set. We loaded up the parma bus and headed to Pacinos. Now regular readers will know that our usual parma night is Thursday night ... that's pretty much set in stone, Yet in researching Pacinos before we headed down I discovered that their parma night is Monday night, and (at face value at least) its quite a deal, $10 parmas with 13 different novelty varieties to choose from - word on the grapevine is that they pump out over 400 parmas every Monday, thats a lot of chooks!

The novelty menu, for those that are curious...

But novelty parmas aside, we were after the real deal and the real deal alone - so Thursday night we arrived at Pacinos, rocking up at around 7pm the place was already packed, we took our seats, ordered a beer, grabbed a menu and spied our target...

We placed the order and awaited our dinner. The other food coming out of the kitchen looked pretty quality, so I had high hopes. It was a bit of a wait before the meals arrived, but nothing terrible (especially considering how busy the place was).

Just like the other food, this parma looked impressive! The massive bird took up a majority of the plate, completely eclipsing the chips below (more on the chips later, but rest assured I saved them from their steamy prison moments after the plates dropped).

It was a big schnitzel of real, unprocessed chicken of a pretty decent thickness. The crumbs were sparse and soggy but herbed, which added a little flavour but some crunch would have been nice. Although being big and unprocessed the chicken itself was a bit dry and stringy, but not distractingly so.

There was no ham, which is pretty much standard at an Italian restaurant, as they seem to go the more 'traditional' parmigiana as opposed to the pub-ified version. Although its not a requirement for a good parma a bit of pork would have done this dish wonders.

Half of my parma was completely devoid of napoli, coupled with the lack of ham meant I was eating basically cheesy schnitzel for a fair portion of it, however that picked up halfway through, as apparently all my napoli was hanging out down one end, that end was much better.

There was plenty of cheese, perfectly golden brown, nothing amazing but it did its job, its hard to find fault with cheese!

Taste-wise it was okay, if anything a little bland, a common trait when you get to parmas of this size (I call it BPS or Big Parma Syndrome - It was explained in more detail here)

If my parma weren't big enough, for some reason it had a little parma-baby attached to the side as a bonus, I was already stuffed by the time I got to it, but I forced it down, I didn't want the little guy to feel left out.

Now, On to the chips - They were completely hidden in the original photo, So I made sure to snap a pick once they were removed (you can see a clearer shot of the parma baby as well).

Great chips. Chunky beer battered steak chips that were perfectly cooked and had the crunch that the parma was missing. They reminded me a lot of the famous Bad Boy Chips from the Mail Exchange Hotel, If only they had've been a little more seasoned they would have been on par - but we all had to reach for the salt shaker a few times. The personal sauce pot was appreciated as well.

The salad was a bit boring. It was big, and a side bowl for salad is always a plus, but when it came down to pure ingredients there wasn't much to write home about, lettuce, onion, a sliver of cucumber and drizzled with some oil, not the best.

Pacinos serves up a big meal, for $22.90 you wont leave hungry and I'd be pretty happy to pay it again for what I got. The $10 parma night is an amazing deal, and I can see why they pump out so many parmas on a Monday, However if you look at Pacinos' Pinterest page they have quite a few photos of the novelty parmas available ...

Notice something? The chips are different!

I may be wrong, but it would appear that the amazing beer battered chunky chips are absent from the Monday night special, not a big deal, but the chips were one of my favourite parts of the Pacinos parma, so it's worth noting they might not be there on a Monday.

Yet even without the chips $10 is still a great deal, I'd definitely stop in and give it a go.

**EDIT** It has come to my attention since posting this review that the Monday special at Pacinos differs not only on the chips but on other aspects of the parma as well, So I'm stating for the record that this review and score only applies to the full price parma, not the Monday night special, which we have yet to try and/or rate.

Opinions were mixed on the Pacinos parma (as you can no doubt tell from the quotes) It isn't without its problems but all in all its a decent feed that is hard to take issue with, If you find yourself in Flemington its worth checking out - it'd be the perfect spot for lunch before hitting the Royal Melbourne Show in September.

Parma - 6.18

Chips - 7.25

Salad - 4.67

Value - 6.25

Total - 6.11

The search continues...

Attempt #150 - 'Prahran Hotel'

[info]When? - 11th of July, 2013

Where? - Prahran Hotel, 82 High St. Prahran.

Price? - $21 ($13 Steak & Parma night Tuesday & Wednesday)

Website? - http://prahranhotel.com/

Reviewers – Adam, Cale, Dale, Emma, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

150 parmas! Not quite as big of a milestone as 100 parmas, but worth acknowledging none the less. Hooray for us and thanks for reading! Couldn't have gotten this far without you guys.

Now, on to the pub.

The Prahran Hotel got off to a bit of a rocky start. Ffter taking out the facebook vote in a spectacular comeback, I called on Wednesday to secure our table for Thursday night (normally I book on the day, however I knew we'd have a few people and wanted to make sure we got a table).

I called the Prahran and made a booking, While on the phone the staff member told me "Oh we can fit in the halfpipe if you'd like!". She sounded enthusiastic so I accepted, not quite sure what the "halfpipe" was. Curious, I went to google and turned up this image -

Nice! The halfpipe is just that - half of a concrete pipe, fitted out with tables and suspended above the rest of the pub. Awesome, and fitting for an event such as parma #150. I told the rest of the review team - We were pumped.

However about 3 hours later I got a phone call. It was the Prahran Hotel.

Apparently, and I'm quoting here, "Someone with a gold card called and booked the halfpipe, so we wont be able to seat you there"

We'd been bumped. I accepted a table in the dining area and the call was over - I googled "Prahran Hotel gold card" and got no results ... something very fishy going on here. I mean I didn't really care, but at the same time its never nice to be told you aren't as important as the person who wants your table.

Thursday night rolled around and we rocked up at the Prahran. Wow. This has to be one of the best renovations I've seen in my life. The back room (the one with all the pipes) is absolutely spectacular, and a must see if you're a fan of Melbourne pubs - Completed by the same pub group that did the Richmond Club Hotel (which we tried a few weeks back) These guys have a stellar pedigree of revitalising run down pubs, and the Prahran hotel is no exception.

 I haven't seen a more impressive collection of pipes since Super Mario Bros. 3

I'm going to be referencing our review of The Richmond Club Hotel a fair bit from this point on, so if you haven't read it yet you might want to familiarise yourself, as there are a lot of similarities between the two pubs.

The first thing that both bars share is the concept of the "Karma Keg" -

Such a fantastic idea, too bad I've never been to one of these pubs on a Friday.

Secondly (and a little less awesome) is the concept of seating times, both the RCH and the Prahran have set seating times for dinner - a 6pm and 8pm sitting. This really throws a spanner in the works for our reviews as we've been doing parmas at 7pm sharp for the past hundred-and-fifty weeks. We arrived at 7, pulled up a pew in the public bar at the front and killed time till we were good to take our table, a few bowls of wedges went around which served as a solid pre-game to the main event, so it turned out to be less of an inconvenience than we had originally thought, but just something to keep in mind when you're planning your night.

8pm came around and we took our (non tube-shaped) seat in the dining room, picked up our menus and spied the target...

By this time I was starving so we placed our orders. I finished what was left of my pint (about half a pint, from memory) and went to the bar for a refill - by the time I returned the parmas were on the table.

Now not everyone's parma was shaped like an inverted Africa, that was just mine - the 7 other parmas on the table kept a traditional shape.

The schnitzel was decent quality. Juicy, unprocessed and appeared to be pan fried, the crumbs were thin and unobtrusive (although nothing special in the flavour department). Thickness-wise it was a mixed bag, with some parts looking like this -

and other parts like this -

I'm not sure if it was from the schnitzel or the napoli but there was a strong citrusy zest to the dish, I've got a feeling the schnitz was given a liberal squeeze of lemon juice before the other toppings went on, and that flavour really shone through. The ham and napoli were there, but quite bland and didn't add much to the dish at all.

I hope you like a lot of cheese as this parma had an overload. So much cheese that a couple of times I cut into what I thought was parma, but came out with only toppings. Heaps of cheese, which isn't necessarily a bad thing at all - but it was as bland as the ham & nap.

The chips were stellar. Perfectly cooked, beer battered and very well seasoned, crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside - I wanted more the moment I was done.

The salad was nothing too special, lettuce,cucumber, a tomato wedge and some slivers of onion with a creamy mustard dressing. It served it purpose but didn't do so with any particular style.

For $21 it didn't sting too badly for what we got, If I was at The Prahran again I'd consider having it again, but wouldn't go out of my way to get it. They run a $13 Tuesday & Wednesday parma night which would definitely be worth checking out, even if just to see the great renovations.

When we tried the parma at the Richmond Club Hotel our major complaint was that it was overcooked to the point of being burnt and dry - I think the Prahran parma is virtually identical when it comes to ingredients (especially in the case of the chips) but they were prepared with more care, the schnitz was succulent and juicy - no complaints in how it was cooked - Which put it ahead of the RCH in terms of score. It's not a bad parma by any means, but it lacks any flair that would make me want to recommend it to my friends, I'd say if you went on a parma night to have a look at the amazing establishment and a cheap feed you wouldn't be disappointed.

Parma - 5.38

Chips - 7.50

Salad - 5.44

Value - 6.44

Total - 6.03

The search continues...

Attempt #149 - 'Victoria Hotel'

[info]When? - 4th of July, 2013

Where? - Victoria Hotel, 380 Victoria St. Brunswick

Price? - $15 Parma n pot Thursdays, $17 other times.

Website? - http://vichotelbrunswick.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo[/info]

I've  said it before, but I really need to start writing down how we come across these pubs. I feel bad that the person that took the time to suggest it doesn't get credited - oh well, you know who you are buddy! Cheers!

Anyway, somehow the Victoria hotel ended up on our list, it made it to the Facebook poll and got up. In my pre-attempt research into the pub I checked out their website (I always do, to get an address  phone number and confirm that there is actually a parma on the menu)

First up, the menu...

Parma... Check! Then the specials caught my eye -

Lovely We haven't had a good parma & pot deal for a while, Most cheap parma nights in Melbourne fall on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday (in an effort to get people in on the quiet nights) so a Thursday cheap parma is quite rare these days. Bonus. Lock it in. Load up the parma bus.

We arrived at the Victoria to quite an unusual sight - Apparently Thursdays in addition to being Parma Night are also "Go Go Dancing Night", taught by Anna's Go-Go Academy. $10 a sesh, while we didn't partake it was fun to watch, and it seemed like everyone involved was having a good time.

As you'd expect from a pub/backpackers there is no shortage of entertainment options at the Vic - with pool, jukebox, foosball, plenty of TV's and even a ping pong table you'd have to try hard to be bored. We walked past the GoGo'ers, through the dining area in the back and out to the beer garden. Although it was a horribly cold & windy night outside the high walls and abundance of heaters meant we were perfectly comfortable, and the roaring open outdoor fire was a great touch.

 Apologies for the Instagram filter, but doesn't that look cosy!

A few review members were still to arrive and we were hungry people, so we indulged in a pregame serve of cheesy herb & garlic bread. I forgot to grab a picture but it was a decision we didn't regret - We got a full plate of turkish bread slices with an abundance of garlic & herbs, plenty of cheese and a spicy dipping sauce - for only $4 you'd be silly not to start your meal with this quality entree.

Everyone arrived, we went to the bar and ordered our parmas, as promised it came to $15 with a free pot. Just lovely.

Before too long the parmas arrived from the kitchen...

Not bad! Not bad at all... 

Expectations were pretty low for a backpackers discount parma, but I was pleasantly surprised. For processed chicken breast it was of the highest quality (best of a bad thing, I suppose) - probably the thickest processed shnitz we've ever come across. The crumbs were nothingness and there was a fair bit of nudity but that's not that big of a complaint. The cheese, the ham and the napoli all carried their flavour quite well (although a touch more nap would have been appreciated). Not a stand out dish, but it was enjoyable and nobody left hungry - definitely better than I was expecting.

Now I forgot to take a cross section until I was 3/4 of the way through the parma, so don't take the below photo as any indication of thickness, just use it to appreciate the chicken quality and ingredients layers (the crumbs were thin, no attempt to hide credit card chicken under an inch of crumbs)...

The chips were good, fresh, crispy and plenty of them hiding under the parma (I removed them from their sweaty prison immediately after we got the dish). Could've used a bit more salt but thats a minor complaint, an all round solid accompaniment, on par with the rest of the dish.

If there's one way to get us to like a salad, it's to dress it well. The salad with the Victoria parma had plenty in it (lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber, mustard seeds, even some olives thrown in) and covered with a creamy dressing - it was very enjoyable and for a garden salad it was quite good. My one criticism would be, if you're going to put olives in a salad can you make sure they're pitted?  Nothing more annoying than having a collection of spat out olive seeds on the side of your plate while trying to enjoy a parma.

Great value here, $15 with a pot you can't expect the best meal, but the Vic turn out a quality bird for those on a budget. All of the meals on the menu are similarly priced - The garlic bread was especially good for the price (I've had worse GB at double the price).

This parma isn't going to win any awards, yet I don't think its trying to. Yes the chook is processed but for only fifteen bucks with a beverage you've got to cut them some slack - It's an honest meal for an honest price, sure it has it's faults but I'd have no problems dropping in on a Thursday night again if I were in the area. If I were paying full price ($17) I'd probably go elsewhere, but as far as a cheapo parma & pot deal goes it's one of the better ones we have come across. Victoria Hotel is definitely worth checking out if you're on a budget but craving a hit of parma and a game of ping pong (or a Go-Go dance).

Parma - 6.83

Chips - 6.42

Salad - 6.50

Value - 8.00

Total - 6.92

The search continues...

Attempt #148 - 'The Irish Times'

[info]When? - 27th of June, 2013

Where? - The Irish Times, 427 Little Collins Street. Melbourne.

Price? - $19.00

Website? - http://www.theirishtimespub.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Em, Lee, Matt, Stefo[/info]

The Irish Times is one of those pubs that I've known of for ages, been into very briefly a couple of times, but never really figured it as a place that does more than just a good pint of Guinness - Yet when it was suggested to us that we give their parma a go I wondered why we hadn't tried it before.

In the middle of the CBD, on Lt. Collins St. (between Queen and William) lies the Irish Times, or as I always thought of it - "The Irish pub with the massive flag out the front" - as hanging from the roof of the pub is an Irish flag that would give the Aussie flag at the *** roundabout a run for its money, size wise. I arrived a good hour before the rest of the group was due to rock up as I had neglected to book a table earlier in the day, and wanted to make sure I could secure one. Arriving at around 6pm on a Thursday I was blown away with how busy this place was ... I definitely wasn't expecting it, but it was almost shoulder to shoulder in the cosy pub, right back into the dining room. This was gonna be an issue, While formulating a plan I went to the bar and grabbed a pint. As I returned from the bar, pint in hand, like a miracle a table for 5 beside the door opened up. I swooped in before anyone else could take it and set up shop.

You know that scene in "Seinfeld" where Elaine has to hold the seats for everyone in a crowded movie theatre and has to fend off people trying to steal them?

[youtube id="xx4N8vGbs8I" width="580" height="337"]

This was my life for about 45 minutes last night, however I devised a plan, I grabbed a menu from the bar, downed my first pint and got another, then arranged the empty glass, my coat, and the menu around the table to give the illusion to anybody walking past that I was with a group of people, who were either in the dunny or at the bar at the time. Childish, I know, but worked like a charm.

Just after the group arrived the first little bonus of the night occurred - we were offered some mini spring rolls! Apparently they had free finger food circulating, I can't see a mention on the website as to why there was free finger food, It didn't seem like there was much of a special event on (and I don't think we wandered into a private function) but it was greatly appreciated none the less.

Once everyone arrived and stuffed into the cosy little corner by the window, someone suggested that we checked upstairs to see if there was any room up there. Upstairs? In my many beers at the Irish Times I'd never even registered that there was an upstairs, but sure enough there was (unbeknownst to me) a second, much roomier, level with its own bar, tables and massive screen TV. We scored a table, was (again) offered some free spring rolls and went to the bar to place our order...

We sat back down and awaited our parmas, it was much busier downstairs which gave us the ability to converse without shouting - much more conducive for dinner conversation, however the atmosphere of the Irish Times is great both downstairs and up - it feels like more of a genuine Irish Pub as opposed to some of the pretenders around that think if you paint the walls dark green, whack some farming equipment on the wall and pour a guinness on tap then you're an irish pub. It had a good feel and it'd definitely stick out in my mind the next time I feel like a pint in the city.

Before too long our parmas arrived...

First up, the schnitz - It was a little small, but made up for that in both thickness and freshness. The chicken itself was great quality, juicy and tasty - however it fell apart greatly at the crumbs. I'm not sure what they were but they were rather overcooked and just fell away from the chicken, with a massive chunk of one reviewers crumbs just detaching in one big, solid piece.

The home made napoli was extremely flavourful, it had paprika or some other spice through it that gave it a very unique flavour which I enjoyed at first -  unfortunately it was very overpowering and drowned out the flavours on the rest of the dish, the ham was there but could not be detected without specifically looking for it. The cheese was fine, could have used a bit more but (like everything else) was completely muffled by the extremely strong napoli.

The chips were crispy and well cooked however lacked any seasoning, which sent everyone at the table reaching for the salt shaker - we were supplied with a bottle of tomato sauce without requesting it, which is a nice touch. It was a decent serving, nothing to write home about but nothing to complain about specifically either.

The salad was boring. Barely dressed it consisted of a few lettuce leaves and a couple of onion slivers... That's it. It was pretty clear that the salad was just an afterthought to put something green on the plate.

Value-wise it was pretty good - we haven't had a parma under $20 for a while so clocking in at $19 it's hard to complain too much, it was a little small but the free finger food was a lovely little bonus that we haven't seen before - If it was around $4 cheaper I'd consider having this parma again - or even $19 with a free pint.

One thing I noticed while looking at the menu was this little item -

A brownie. With ice cream. Served on a sizzling hot plate?! That sounds absolutely amazing. I didn't try it at the time as brownie doesn't quite go with a parma and 4 pints, but I definitely want to revisit and give it a go, it sounds like amazing sorcery.

The parma at The Irish Times isn't particularly memorable but there's nothing that offensive about it either - it's middle of the road. They started with a great foundation of quality chicken breast but kind've fell apart from there. If they eased off a little on the spice in the napoli and did something about the flakey crumbs then it would be a great little find, but until then I'll probably stick to the great music, quality guinness and free spring rolls.

Parma - 5.80

Chips - 4.70

Salad - 3.00

Value - 6.20

Total - 5.10

The search continues...

#147 -'The Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse'

When? - 20th of June, 2013

Where? - The Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse. 115 - 127 Russell St. Melbourne

Price? - $24.50

Website? - http://portlandhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Em, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony

No, this isn't a double review, its just a very oddly named pub. From what I can discern the Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse has two names and they just can't quite decide which one is their favourite, for example their website is portlandhotel.com.au yet their twitter is @JSBrewhouse. My best guess is that the restaurant-side of the pub is The Portland Hotel, and the more "pubby" side with sports on the big screen, pool tables & more standing room is the James Squire Brewhouse (not the first JS Brewery-in-a-pub we've come across either, although our first didn't rate too well - lets hope this one does a little better!)

Either way they share a menu, a kitchen and (most importantly) a parma.

We arrived at the pub and took our seats on the brewery side of the pub. Did I mention this pub has a working brewery inside? If you hadn't worked it out by the "brewhouse" part of the pubs name, there is a working brewery in the pub - an impressive sight and beautifully executed.

First things first though... The parmas.

We located and had a browse of the comprehensive menu - This would be a fantastic pub to bring a friend from another country to, as there are quite a few Australian game meats incorporated into dishes that you don't see too often in the Melbourne CBD (crocodile, emu & kangaroo).

But we weren't there for that! We were there for the parmas...

Now, I'm not normally one to fall for pretentious meal descriptions on menu's, but hot damn that sounds good! Parmesan encrusted crumbs? Honey roasted ham? 3 cheese glaze? Stop. Just stop. You had me at parmesan.

We placed our order and awaited our parmy goodness.

Now, Second things second... The beer.

Being a James Squire Brewery it's no surprise that there is a large selection of James Squire brews available over the bar, quite a few actually! From memory there were about 12 JS beers on tap - now how can one man sample all those beers in one night? With one of the greatest words a beer lover can hear... Tasting paddle.

Isn't it a thing of beauty? And for a pretty reasonable $15 for 6 mini beers it's the perfect way to tour the brews. It's one of life's rare pleasures to be able to sip a beer while sitting next to the still in which it was brewed.

Before too long it was parma time -

Points for presentation! This is officially the first parma I've had served on a wooden board - I had seen photos and heard rumors of this phenomenon in the past (I'm pretty sure Hoo Haa used to do it, and our friends over in SA found one recently as well) - an inventive and eye catching way to serve up a parma, that's for sure.

The schnitzel was a big'un. Definitely not the thickest schnitzel we've had (bordering on a little thin in places but not alarmingly so - nobody left hungry). The chicken was juicy, white and fresh - a quality foundation for the rest of the parma to build on. The panko crumb & parmesan cheese combination was inspired, delivering a unique, tasty crunch.

The napoli was delicious - no Dolmio canned crap here, this was fresh, chunky and in plentiful supply with a strong peppery kick that tickled the back of the throat... which is a bit of a double edged sword. I loved the spicy twang to the nap as I love pepper - however I can see that if I wasn't a pepper fan it might be a tad off-putting.

The honey smoked ham was an absolute triumph, simply bursting with flavour. Picking a bit off the parma and having it on its own reminded me of ham carved straight off the bone on christmas dinner - A fantastic addition to an already great parma.

So far this parma has been generous with all its toppings - and the cheese was no exception , this parma was cheesier than a 70's fondue party. Don't let the menu description fool you, the "3 cheese glaze" described is just your regular melted cheese - and in no way is that a bad thing. The three cheese combo carried outstanding flavour and complemented the rest of the dish perfectly.

Apologies for the dim cross-section lighting, It was a dimly lit pub, and I don't thing they would have appreciated me balancing my parma on the pool table to get good a better photo...

Despite being touted on the menu as fries there was a chunkier chip delivered on the plate - dodging a bullet in my opinion as I've always preferred a chunkier chip over a McDonald's style fry. A decent serving, and despite arriving mostly underneath the parma managed to retain their crunch (and to be brutally honest, a couple of soggy chips under the parma never really bothered me all that much - sometimes a few chips soaking up the parma juices can actually be pretty tasty!).

They were perfectly cooked and seasoned. I seem to say it every week but a pot of something to dip them in would have done wonders.

After an outstanding parma and chips the Portland's parma kind've fell over at the salad. The separate bowl was a nice touch and they weren't tight with the balsamic dressing, but there just wasn't a lot in there. A few lettuce leaves, a halved cherry tomato, two cucumber cubes and a radish slice. It wasn't bad but I just would have loved something more substantial, especially considering the high bar the other two elements of the dish set.

Our rule of thumb for judging value on a parma is "would I be happy to go back and pay what I paid again, for what I received". While the Portland's parma is a little pricey at $24.50 (not the most expensive, but not exactly cheap either) I would have absolutely no qualms in giving it another go anytime.

I absolutely loved the Portland Hotel's parma, all the ingredients were top notch and the peppery kick to the napoli was something that we don't see every week. It's an outstanding bird that I definitely recommend giving a try - if you aren't afraid of a little spice you definitely won't regret it.

Parma - 8.89

Chips - 7.97

Salad - 6.57

Value - 8.00

Total - 8.07

The search continues...