Attempt #233 - 'Lost & Found Bar & Tattoo Studio'

When? - 23rd of July, 2015

Where? - 524 Macaulay Rd, Kensington

Price? - $22 for all varieties, $15 parma n' pot on Tuesday.

Website? - http://www.lostandfoundtattoo.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

When you hear that a nearby tattoo studio is now serving parmas, thats something that sticks in your mind.

I can't remember where I heard it exactly, but I remember following Lost & Found on Facebook a couple of months back, just to keep an eye on what they were putting out - and sure enough, every Tuesday they would post pictures of some tasty looking birds to promote their Tuesday $15 parma & pot night. At the time I thought they only did parmas on Tuesdays, and with our parma night pretty rigidly set at Thursday it was a tough one to get too, until I found out that my assumption was wildly incorrect, the parmas at Lost & Found were available every night (albeit not as cheap as Tuesday). So last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed out to see what Lost & Found Tattoo Studio has to offer.

If you're concerned that you'll be eating food watching a 19 year old girl wince in pain as she gets a butterfly tramp stamp don't worry - the Tattoo parlour part of the pub is upstairs and away from prying eyes - In fact if the sign on the door didn't say "tattoo parlour" I would've had any clue that there was one up there.

It sunk in as we pulled up out the front that we had been to this pub before, back in 2012 when it was known as Tonik. The parma that night was disappointing, I really hope that the building had lifted its game.

We sat down and checked the menu - apparently we had some choices to make ...

Now I'm normally a parma purist, but I'm also a sucker for a Mexi-parma. I rationalised that two of the review team were getting the traditional, so I could also sneak a taste of theirs to get a better view of what was on offer (and I really wanted the El Dorado)

As for beers Lost & Found has three taps on offer, with some interesting craft beer choices available. From what I gather they rotate whats on tap semi regularly, but available to us last night was Cavalier, Kettle Green Hemp Ale, and (my personal favourite for the evening) A Rocks Brewing Co. Convict Lager. All running at $10 a pint. Delicious.

Before we get to the parmas we started out our meal with a cheeky entree to share, we went with the poutine ($12), which is "cheesey chips and gravy" to the lamen...

I've had chips & gravy hundreds of times in my life ... how has it taken this long to realise that we should put cheese on top as well! That's been staring us in the face. A great start to the meal.

About 20 minutes after ordering our meals started appearing from the kitchen, now as per usual, with a bunch of parma options comes a bunch of pictures. First up is the Da Vinci (standard parma) that Reviewers Cale & Nikki partook in...

Next up is Reviewer Stefo's Captain Cook (pineapple and swiss cheese) -

And finally, my El Dorado -

Lets start with the schnitzel. Pure, white chicken breast. Thick as buggery in some parts and perfectly crumbs. The crumbs were probably slightly overcooked if I had to pick faults, but the chicken beneath remained juicy as hell and piping hot throughout the meal. Novelty toppings aside, the schnitzel was a fantastic foundation for whatever you put on top.

Now for the toppings - The El Dorado was a fine example of a mexi-parma. The salsa smacked you in the face with flavour, the jalapenos gave it one hell of a kick, and serving the guacamole and sour cream on the side was a fantastic decision, as on top of a hot parma they would quickly turn into runny mush.

As promised I stole a couple of bites from Reviewer Nikki's Da Vinci and it definitely held its own up against the more exciting novelties, it was damn tasty. The napoli was definitely the star, chunky and full of flavour. I'm gonna come back to Lost & Found and will have no qualms trying the Da Vinci when I do

The chips were ... good. After raving about the parma so much in the previous paragraphs it's hard to get too excited about what were basically standard pub chips. (plus coming off bad boy chips last week is a tough act to follow). There was nothing wrong with them, they served their purpose perfectly - but they weren't exciting. The El Dorado was served with corn chips as well, which was a nice touch ... I'm not quite sure what I was supposed to do with them as I'd used all my guac and sour cream on the parma and just wound up eating dry corn chips - But I appreciate the effort.

The salad was crispy, fresh and full of ingredients. Garden salad in a separate bowl with plenty of onion, carrot, cucumber and tomato - I hope you like dressing, as there was a hell of a lot of it ... almost enough to turn off some of those who don't like their salad drowning in dressing, luckily I'm not one of those people.

For $22 I'd happily have the parma at Lost & Found again, no question. $15 parma & pot Tuesdays is just icing on the cake - you can't afford not to try it at that price!

It's been a few months of mediocrity on ParmaDaze, and Lost & Found was the breath of fresh air we needed. When you hear "food in a tattoo parlour" the word "quality" doesn't instantly spring to mind, but this definitely was. Lost & Found is a quirky, cosy little spot definitely worth your time, give it a crack.

Pros

• Great range of quality novelty parmas
• Standard parma holds its own against the novelties
• great quality ingredients all round

Cons

• Slightly overcooked crumbs
• Salad could be considered over-dressed to some.

Parma - 8.50

Chips - 5.75

Salad - 6.25

Value - 7.50

Total - 7.30

The search continues...

Attempt #232 - 'Jimbo & Rex'

[info]When? - 16th of July, 2015

Where? - Crown Casino, 8 Whiteman St. Southbank

Price? - $24

Website? - www.crownmelbourne.com.au/jimbo-and-rex

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

**EDIT** 10/08/15 - In possibly the quickest time from review to close, Jimbo & Rex has now closed its doors permanently, Like the Pub at Crown which once stood in this spot, the Jimbo & Rex parma is no longer available.

You might remember our review from last year where the restaurant "Cotta" at Crown Casino claimed themselves to be "The home of the parma", a ridiculous claim and a bland parma (really only worth it for the "$24 parma & jug" deal, which I don't think is even a thing anymore.

Well, a 60 second walk from Cotta, in the spot where The Pub at Crown used to stand, is Jimbo & Rex. In my daily online searches for parma related happenings I came across a photo of the J&R parma and it actually didn't look half bad - Surprising, as a decent parma within Crown had been notoriously difficult to find. We loaded up the parma bus, grabbed some cash for the blackjack tables and headed to Jimbo & Rex.

Compared to The old Pub at Crown Jimbo & Rex feels a lot smaller and cramped, mostly because the space was split in half to make room for Man Tong Kitchen. There is a small area at the front that has a bit of a pub vibe, but most of the space is taken up by tables and booths for diners.

At 7pm on a Thursday this place was packed - We were lucky to get a table. I'd say you'd be wise to make a booking if you plan to eat here but I'm pretty sure they only accept walk-ins. We took our seats and checked the menu -

Hmm. Sounds alright, lets hope they can deliver on their promises (and a $24 price tag is writing a rather large cheque - lets hope they can cash it).

The range of beers is pretty much what you'd expect from a Crown restaurant

Nothing too adventurous, I went with a pint of Ruby Tuesday - It went down well, but something more challenging would have been lovely.

After about a 15 minute wait our parmas arrived...

Now I've mentioned in the past that I don't mind stacking the parma on top of the chips if the size of the plate calls for it, but this was just ridiculous. There was more plate empty than there was with food on it. I quickly rescued the chips from under the parma and tucked in.

The schnitzel wasn't great. It was dense, dry, and horribly over-crumbed. It was thick, but so dry that thickness was hardly a positive. Very shaky foundations on this one.

Luckily, however, the schnitzel quality was probably the weakest part of the dish, as the toppings were outstanding. Not at all tight with the ham, great coverage of cheese (although the straight mozzarella could have had a bit more kick for my liking) and the slow-roast napoli was rich and flavoursome. They may have had a shaky start with their schnitzel, but they were doing their darnedest to make up for it with some quality toppings.

Ever since we discovered them back in 2012 we have been on the hunt for the elusive Bad Boy Chips. And yes, dear readers, these were bad boy chips. As good as ever. Crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, perfectly seasoned and golden brown. As is standard when we come across bad boys - The only complaint is that there just aren't enough of them.

The salad looked great in the separate bowl it was served in, and the first two mouthfuls were fantastic. The well dressed cucumber, onion and tomato atop the lettuce leaves was a delight. Unfortunately after those mouthfuls it was a bowl of boring lettuce, all the good stuff was on top and gone in seconds. All up a decent salad, but nothing amazing.

For a parma in Crown $24 is a tad pricey for my liking, especially for the quality of chicken we received. For $24 I want the purest, juiciest, freshest chicken breast - Not the oversized chicken nugget we were served (okay thats a bit harsh ... but only a bit). From what I can tell Jimbo & Rex don't offer any sort of parma night that I can see - But Crown's specials change all the time, so its worth keeping an eye out.

Would I go back to Jimbo & Rex? Maybe for a bowl of chips. They're trying their hardest to make do with what they have, but until they can improve the quality of the schnitzel its not quite worth it. I will say I enjoyed it more than the parma at Cotta - So one recommendation I can give is that if you're on your way to the self proclaimed "Home of the parma" maybe take a detour and visit Jimbo & Rex instead - if only for the bad boys.

[pros]

• Tasty toppings
• Bad boy chips

[/pros][cons]

• Poor quality schnitzel
• Expensive for what was received.

[/cons]

Parma - 6.88

Chips - 8.38

Salad - 5.63

Value - 6.25

Total - 6.80

The search continues...

Attempt #231 - 'The Celtic Club'

When? - 9th of July, 2015

Where? - 316-320 Queen St. Melbourne

Price? - $21.50 ($15 Parma's of the World & Pot Tuesday)

Website? - http://www.celticclub.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Stefo

UPDATE 24/08/18 - The CELTIC CLUB is no longer, IT HAS PULLED UP STUMPS, MOVED TO NORTH MELBOURNE AND BECOME 'CELTIC AT METROPOLITAN'. Click here for an updated review

When I was a fresh-faced eighteen year old I got a call from a friend of mine. He had nothing to do, I had nothing to do, so we figured we would go down to an Irish pub and find out what all this "Saint Patrick's Day" hoo-haa was all about. Which Irish pub did we pick? The Celtic Club.

Innumerable pints of Guinness later and we were in love, clearly this was the best pub in the world. We were gonna sign up as members, and be back to this glorious watering hole every week at least. Despite being nowhere near where we lived it was going to be our new local.

Fourteen years later we walked into the Celtic Club for the second time... We kind've dropped the ball on our big plans. But this time we had a new objective - The parma review.

Rare for a pub, the Celtic Club has information pamphlets scattered around the pub, one of which I grabbed on the way out - so who better to tell you about the Celtic Club than the Celtic Club themselves! -

"Located in central Melbourne, the Celtic Club is Australia's first Irish Club and has a reputation for providing a warm and hearty welcome since 1887. Irish and other celtic groups at the Club continue to grow.

Music sessions are a regular feature at the Celtic Club as well as cultural and heritage events.

Restaurant and function facilites are also available"

Man ... that makes my job so much easier. Why can't more pubs do that?

The Celtic Club is a traditional Irish pub - If you've been into an Irish Pub in Melbourne you pretty much know the score. Dark carpet, dark wooden bar, plenty of nooks and crannies to hole up in and nurse a pint of Guinness. As soon as we arrived I remembered why we liked it so much fourteen years ago ... and I won't lie, by the end of the meal I was considering signing up as a member again.

We grabbed a table in the dining area, checked the menu...

Note - I edited this image as the menu on the Club's website still has it listed as $19.90, which is incorrect. I'm pretty sure it was $21.50 ... Might have been $21.60.

And we placed our orders at the bar.

Plenty on offer in terms of beers, Pints of 150 Lashes were going for $8 on Thursday so I partook in that special with gusto, but other than that 12 taps throughout the pub offered pretty much any style you would be hankering for, with another 14 bottled options if the taps don't tickle your fancy.

A couple of the review team ducked into the Pokies room to lose a few bucks and after no more than 15 minutes our parmas arrived from the kitchen.

As you can see I drew the old "two smaller schnitzels combined with cheese and ham" card. I'm not sure whether this is a bad thing or not, Glass-half-empty people may say that the chicken is overall smaller, but the eternal optimist that I am prefers to think of it as I got two parmas when everyone else only got one. Bonus.

The chicken was well cooked, juicy and piping hot - There were some issues with the crumbs falling away from the chicken itself, but nothing too annoying, the crumbs were thin and the chicken was relatively thick, which is all that matters.

There was plenty of mozzarella cheese, but I think it could've used another few minutes under the grill as it wasn't quite golden brown. The ham was a lovely touch and they weren't at all tight with it. The napoli sauce, however, could have used a little more love. There was barely any on the parma and the nap that was present didn't really add anything to the dish. That would probably be my complaint overall actually - Technically it was a decent parma, but it just lacked that "oomph" to carry it over the line. I don't want to say it was bland, but I'm having trouble coming up with a less harsh sounding word.

From the wording on the menu I was expecting McDonalds style french fries, so when the parma arrived nestled on a bed of proper chip-style chips I was pleased. They were well cooked and a decent serving, but completely unseasoned and required a heavy pour from the salt shaker to bring them to life.

The salad looked promising, plenty of ingredients and a big serve, bright and colourful on the plate - but in the end it wound up falling kind've flat. The lettuce was a little wilted and it could've used a splash more dressing. It wasn't bad, but nothing spectacular either.

For $21 I'd consider having this parma again. They run a $15 "parmas of the world" with a pot on Tuesday nights that I have heard is quite tasty - And I think some novelty toppings is just what this parma needs to get it to the goal, Definitely worth checking out if you're in the area (and for $15 with a beer you can't really go wrong!)

I need to live up to 18-year-old-me's promise and head to the Celtic Club more often as its a cool little spot, and I'm honestly surprised it has taken us this long to check it out. If you're in the area (especially on a Tuesday) I'd say its worth a crack, if only to enjoy the ambiance of one of the coolest Irish pubs in the CBD.

PROS

• Piping hot
• Plenty of cheese and shaved ham
• Proper pub chips instead of fries

CONS

• Not enough napoli
• Toppings a tad bland - definitely one for novelties.

Parma - 6.5

Chips - 6.17

Salad - 5.67

Value - 5.83

Total - 6.13

The search continues...

Attempt #230 - 'The Daylesford Hotel'

[info]When? - 5th of July, 2015

Where? - 2 Burke Square, Daylesford.

Price? - $26

Website? - http://www.daylesfordhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Emma, Fridge, Grace, Hayden, Kylie, Lee, Mel, Nikki, Nugget, Shanan, Stefo, Tim & Tony. 

[/info]

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, I think I brushed on it on our review of the Old Hepburn, but I love Daylesford.

A bit of backstory - My family owns a property at Daylesford, so as a kid I spent almost every weekend between the ages of zero to sixteen in that town. Then from the age of eighteen (well, seventeen, but shhh) it became the go-to place for weekend drinking sessions with my mates.

So, in very large part, I grew up in Daylesford. I've seen it boom from anonymous country town to the powerhouse weekender that it is today - and the Daylesford Hotel (or "Toggies" as I always knew it growing up) has been a big part of those memories. I remember having chicken kiev's followed by brandy snaps with my parents in 1993, and I remember games of pool with my mates, rocking out to Rage Against the Machine on the video jukebox in 2001.

The Daylesford Hotel has been on my list of pubs to review since the inception of ParmaDaze, but the logistics of getting a big enough review team up there on a weekend has always been a bit of a sticking point - So when I had a bit of a birthday shindig up in Daylesford last weekend it seemed like the perfect plan. Drinks on Saturday night, parmas on Sunday morning. Wanting to make a bit of an event out of it a few of us took the Friday off work and made it a long weekend (you can check out some snaps I took along the way over at the ParmaDaze Instagram).

On Friday night we jumped in a maxi and were headed to try the new Burger and Rib joint, "The Galley Diner", however we forgot the cardinal rule of weeknights in Daylesford - The town pretty much shuts down at 9 o'clock. We drove past the Galley at about quarter to nine and the chairs were already stacked on the table. Okay, new plan ... lets head to the pub.

Although extremely tempting, we decided that getting a parma would be blowing the surprise for our scheduled trip on Sunday - So we restrained ourselves and went for burgers instead...

Sounded good enough to me, so for the first of two visits to the Daylesford Hotel that weekend, we placed our order...

Now, I am by no means a burger aficionado, but god damn that was a tasty burger. The patty, the bun, the bacon, the unbelievably crisp cos lettuce leaf ... it was delightful. We left the pub on Friday night both satisfied and with high hopes for what we would find on Sunday's main event.

Saturday came and went. Many beers were consumed and a good time was had by all. Sunday morning a (slightly seedy) group of fourteen hungry patrons headed into the Daylesford Hotel for lunch.

The 100+ year old pub has had a few facelifts in its time, but the latest renno's are nothing short of spectacular. The pub has a modern vibe while still retaining the cosiness and charm that I love so much. There are plenty of options depending on what you feel like doing with your time - With a spacious dining room, cosy lounge nook complete with couches and fireplace, an inviting front bar and even a neat little beer garden out the back (not to mention an amazing view of the town from the balcony upstairs).

Alright, enough about the pub - On to the parmas. We placed our order for fourteen birds and awaited their arrival.

The tap list is small, but there's something for everyone's taste (from Boags to Little Creatures you should be sorted) and if that doesn't satisfy there's a range of bottled beers from local Victorian breweries in the fridge.

Before too long the parmas started appearing from the kitchen.

Now, there was a bit of variance in appearance among the plates - pictured above is the parma that I received (you'll notice I had a nasty case of curly ham), however others were a little more lucky, reviewer Nikki's serving is pictured below.

Thats more like it! (however my comments will relate to my parma, the first one pictured).

As you can see this parma's biggest problem is readily apparent - it was overcooked. Such a shame, too as the chicken was thick, pure chicken breast, great quality with fantastic crumbs. Thickness of the breasts varied around the table, I think I got the unlucky draw as mine was probably the thinnest of the bunch (which, as you can see, is still pretty thick). But the well done schnitzel was definitely a let down. It needed to be juicy - unfortunately it was dry.

The toppings, however, did their darnedest to bring this parma back. Everything atop this parma was an explosion of flavour. I'm not sure if it was the ham or the napoli (my money is on the napoli) but good lord this was a flavourful parma. Just the right amount of saltiness with a perfect richness to the napoli without being overpowering (although my napoli also suffered a little from being overcooked, I would have liked more but it was still damn tasty).

It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of fries with my parmas, but I will say that, for fries, these were okay. Served piping hot, beside the parma and with plenty of seasoning (plus with tomato sauce and a side of gravy supplied to those who requested it) they did a decent job as a side to this dish - Nothing to write home about, but nothing offensive.

The salad came off as a bit of an afterthought - It's not like they were hiding anything, the menu touts it as "salad leaves" and thats exactly what was served - lettuce leaves. They were tossed in a tiny bit of dressing but I would have loved some more - at the very least everything was fresh and crispy

Opinion of this parma wavered wildly amongst the group - some loved it, some were less than impressed -

For $26 I'd say this was a little pricey for what we received. Even if it weren't overcooked the $26 price point is reserved for the best-of-the-best. The pub offers a $20 pot & parma night from 6pm every Wednesday which is a much more appetising deal.

It's times like this that I wish we gave a score for atmosphere, as I love the Daylesford hotel. The staff were amazingly inviting, friendly and helpful, and the pub is the perfect place to stop in for a beer or two on the weekend and some quality pub grub. I'm hoping that we simply got a bad batch, perhaps a bulk order for fourteen parmas in the middle of the Sunday lunch rush was a tall order for a country pub. Would I have the parma again the next time I pop in? I'd consider it. Despite the aforementioned errors all the elements of a fantastic parma were there ... Although I'd have to think long and hard about my decision, as that burger was damned good as well.

[pros]

• Top quality ingredients
• Amazingly flavoursome toppings
• Fantastically friendly and inviting pub

[/pros][cons]

• Overcooked, dry chicken
• Afterthought of a salad

[/cons]

Parma - 5.95

Chips - 5.12

Salad - 4.52

Value - 4.98

Total - 5.30

The search continues...

Attempt #229 - 'Three Crowns Hotel: Redux'

[info]When? - 25th of June, 2015

Where? - 365 Victoria St, West Melbourne

Price? - $22

Website? - http://www.threecrownshotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Emmett, Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony

[/info]

I like to think that we do redo's semi regularly, In my mind its once every couple of months, maybe more - yet when I check the website for this post and see that our last redo was in October of 2014. I realise I really need to pull my finger out of my ass and get to some of the pubs we've already visited that are in desperate need of a revisit.

Our last visit to the Three Crowns was back in 2012, you can read all about it here, but the basic bullet points were this - We loved the pub itself but it took forever to get served and even longer to get our food, the parma was decent quality chicken but small and served rather burnt.

So when I got word from our friends over at Jimmy's Burgers that the pub had undergone a bit of a management and menu revamp I was keen to check it out! (granted that was sometime last year ... but these things just get away from you!)

So we loaded up the parma bus to head to our (shamefully) first redo of 2015 - The Three Crowns Hotel.

Inside the pub is just as we remembered. A welcoming, friendly pub any man would be proud to call his local. We grabbed a table out in the dining room (a stones throw from the beer garden) and checked the menu -

Sounds good!

First improvement over last time - We were served almost instantly, and the staff were more than happy to help with any odd requests (like two of the review team ordering a side of red wine jus for chip dipping ... no problems whatsoever).

One thing that hasn't changed about the Three Crowns is their quality tap list - It may be small, but there is a great selection for those who feel like something a little different. Last night we sampled the Mountain Goat Steam Ale (an old favourite) the Cavalier Pale ale and the Mountain Goat Fancy Pants. All delicious.

We ordered our meals and waited patiently, after about 25- 30 minutes our meals arrived...

Now, as per usual with redo's lets refresh our memories from the 2012 attempt with the "before" shot...

and (drumroll please) ... The redo!

Definitely an improvement. Before I even get to the parma look at that improvement in those sides! ... but more on those later.

Now. Yes it's improved, but the Three Crowns parma wasn't perfect. First up, the schnitz was pure, white, juicy chicken breast. It was well cooked and a fair chunk larger than its 2012 predecessor - But our main problem with the schnitzel on this parma was the crumbs, or lack of crumbs to be more precise. We've encountered this kind've parma only once before, at The Yarra Hotel in Abbotsford, where rather than your standard crunchy crumbs the chicken was coated in what I can best describe as batter, giving it the look and consistency of a piece of grilled flake from the fish & chip shop.

It's not a dealbreaker, but it is an odd thing to come across when you aren't suspecting it, and I'm gonna be honest, I'd prefer a good crunchy crumb to the battered version.

The "batter" was quite thin, that thickness you can see under the parma is just a couple of errant chips that got caught in the cross-section

The toppings were also a mixed bag, and probably my biggest complaint about this entire dish will come in the next paragraph, so be prepared. The ham was plentiful and I would have loved a bit more cheese over the top (another handful would have been perfect) - that was all rendered moot, however, by the shockingly overpowering napoli sauce. There was a lot of napoli that carried a very invasive flavour throughout the dish I couldn't taste the ham, I couldn't taste the cheese, I couldn't taste the chicken - All I could taste was napoli, to the point where we were making liberal use of the supplied hot sauces on the table (a nice touch, by the way!) to try and punch some sort on non-napoli flavour into the dish.

The chips were fantastic, definitely a beer-battered upgrade from the last time round, I'd go as far as to say they were the highlight of the meal. Perfectly cooked and seasoned, Everyone at the table wanted more by the time the plates were cleaned.

Swapping out the boring garden salad for a refreshing apple slaw was also a master stroke. It was unique and refreshing. Slaw done poorly can really kill a parma, slaw done well can raise it to new heights - A fine accompaniment to the dish.

For $22 I'd probably order this parma again if I were at the Three Crowns. I don't think I'd travel for it - but if I found myself at the Three Crowns on a lazy afternoon I would consider giving it another crack - There's a $15 Parma & Pot night on Monday that would definitely be worth checking out if you're a local.

While it still has a couple of issues the parma at the Three Crowns is a vast improvement on its 2012 ancestor. The pub is still a friendly, welcoming local that I'd be happy to return to any day of the week.

[pros]

• Amazing chips
• Refreshing and unique apple 'slaw
• Real chicken breast
• An improvement on what it used to be

[/pros][cons]

• Odd "batter" texture on the chicken
• Insanely overpowering napoli

[/cons]

Parma - 5.30

Chips - 7.64

Salad - 7.00

Value - 6.16

Total - 6.28

The search continues...

Attempt #228 - 'The London Tavern'

 

[info]When? - 18th of June, 2015

Where? - 238 Lennox St. Richmond

Price? - $22

Website? - http://thelondon.net.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Tony [/info]

When one of the ParmaDaze regulars recently got a new job in Richmond he charged us with a task - Find a good parma close to my work that I can use for after work parmas & drinks.

After a bit of Googling I came across the London Tavern. On paper it has almost everything I like in a pub. Its a quaint, backstreets local, with a quality beer garden, fireplaces when it gets chilly and, most importantly, a parma on the menu. We locked in the venue and last night headed down to The London Tavern to see if they were up to snuff.

A stones throw from the MCG (Just look at the 'G in the background of the above photo - so close!) The London would be a perfect spot for pre/post footy beers, Even if you can't make it to the footy its hard to look in a direction when you're in the London without spotting an impressive TV screen playing the sport.

The London is divided into a few unique areas. First up there's the cosy dining room, complete with roaring fireplace

Beyond that is the jovial front bar (still with plenty of tables in case the dining room is full), a quasi bar/dining area with a second fireplace and, finally, the impressively sized beer garden that is just begging for the sun to peek out from behind the clouds. I joked when we arrived at about 6:30 that the place was quiet - but by the time our parmas hit the table at 7 you'd be struggling to get a seat, as the pub quickly became packed with hungry diners and Thursday night footy fans.

We grabbed a table in the aforementioned quasi bar/dining area and checked the menu -

Easy done. On top of this the London also offers the addition of gravy or aioli as a side for $1 each, Reviewer Nikki and myself both grabbed a side of gravy for chip-dipping purposes, Reviewer Tony went sauce-less.

Earlier I mentioned a second fireplace in the area where we were seated, It was absolutely lovely when we sat down, but unfortunately I had picked a seat literally this close to the flames -

As cosy as it was, when my skin started to blister it was time to rotate around the table to a spot that didn't burn with the ferocity of a billion suns.

Craft beer enthusiasts are out of luck at the London, the beer list is bare bones. On tap we have Carlton, VB, Pure Blonde, Fat Yak, Peroni and Bulmers. There is a bit of a wider selection available in bottles (check the full beer list here), but nothing that will blow your socks off. I do enjoy a craft beer, but at the same time I'll never say no to a pint of Carlton, so no major complaints on my end, just something to be aware of.

About 15 minutes after ordering our meals arrived -

The schnitzel was real chicken and thick. At least an inch all over, a massive slab of bird. It was real chicken breast and well cooked, which is why I was a little dismayed that they had gone quite heavy on the crumbs - they had nothing to hide yet it was crumbed as if they did. Despite being lovely chicken the crumbs were a little soggy and didn't grip the chicken very well.

The cheese mix was mostly tasty cheese, and I think a detected a hint of parmesan in there as well. All up it was a solid mix that, while a little dry, carried some great flavours throughout the dish.

The Napoli sauce was pretty standard, nothing to write home about - I would have loved the addition of a slice of ham to really give this parma a shot in the arm, unfortunately there was no pork to be found.

The chips were probably the highlight of the plate. A hefty serve, beer battered, cooked to a perfect golden brown and well seasoned. The gravy was an added extra so won't affect the score, but I have to say it wasn't great. Very watery and almost flavourless, would give that a miss next time, and with quality chips like these it's absolutely not necessary.

Rather than your usual garden salad the London has opted for a bowl of coleslaw. I always enjoy when a pub makes this change as a coleslaw can be quite a refreshing side. The London's slaw It was well sized, separated from the parma and creamy. It worked well with the parma to the point that I was putting a bit on my fork before cutting a slice of parma - a great marriage.

At $22 ($23 with the gravy) this parma is getting on the expensive side. Would I pay it again? Maybe, it wasn't a bad parma by any stretch. On Monday night's the London does a $10 parma night - If the parma served on the parma night is of the same quality as the one served last night this is a fantastic deal and I have zero qualms recommending checking it out. But at full price? Yeah ... I'd probably give it another crack, but I wouldn't be as excited about it.

I like the London Tavern, it manages to keep an old-world country pub feel while maintaining everything you need in a modern pub. The next time I go to the footy at the 'G ducking into the London for a pint afterwards is definitely on my agenda. The parma had a couple of issues but overall it was decent, I wouldn't travel long distances for it but if you're in the area (especially on a Monday night) definitely give it a crack.

[pros]

• Great beer battered chips
• Tasty coleslaw
• Good cheese mix

[/pros][cons]

• No ham
• Bland napoli
• Soggy crumbs

[/cons]

Parma - 6.00

Chips - 7.33

Salad - 5.30

Value - 6.47

Total - 6.22

The search continues...

Attempt #227 - 'Windy Hill'

 

[info]When? - 11th of June, 2015

Where? - Corner Napier St. and Brewster St. Essendon.

Price? - $21.50

Website? - http://windyhillvenue.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Cale, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

You know how all of the Assassin's Creed games start with the line "This work of fiction was designed, developed and produced by a multicultural team of various religious faiths and beliefs."? Well I feel like today's review should start with a similar disclaimer - This parma review was conducted by a team of supporters of various Australian Rules Football clubs. We had two Carlton supporters, a North Melbourne supporter, two Bulldogs supporters (myself included ... carn the Doggies!) and a Collingwood supporter. We did have a Bombers supporter lined up as well but he got stuck at work and couldn't make it.

Why Windy Hill? Convenience mostly, most of us live in and around Essendon, and as we hiked over to St. Kilda last week we were in the mood for a bird with minimal travel time. The problem with going local? After five years of reviewing parmas we're kind've running out of ideas, but Windy Hill has always been one that stuck in the back of my mind ... So I figured why not? We loaded up the parma bus and took the very short trip up to Windy Hill.

The website recommends booking so I called on Thursday afternoon and booked a table in the Terrace Bistro - Windy Hill definitely wont be winning any awards for atmosphere, thats for sure, Pokies on the right, TAB and lounge bar on the left (with walls plastered with Bombers paraphernalia, as you would expect) and Bistro out the back.

The bistro has a very "RSL" feel, I would have thought a large window overlooking the football ground would be a no-brainer, but instead we got four small windows with the blinds drawn. Calling to book a table was a good idea as at 7pm the place was already filling up.

I grabbed the menu and flicked through, then I saw a photo and my heart sank...

That's the photo they put in their menu. That has got to be the most un-appetising parma I have seen in my life yet that is the one they choose to advertise the meal? The crumbs are thicker than the chicken! It looks as dry as a dead dingo's donger (to steal a phrase from my dad) ... altho that avocado laden salad does look okay.

After seeing that photo expectations were low, we went to the counter, ordered our meals and grabbed a beer from the bar. Beer selection is bare bones - Carlton, Pure blonde, VB and maybe a Bulmers - Nothing for the craft beer folk but to be honest I wasn't really expecting it - We're at a footy club, not a beer bar.

We quickly downed our free bake at home rolls and about 20 minutes later the main event arrived...

That looks a million times better than the photo! This might not be as bad as we were expecting. The schnitzel was decently sized, pure chicken breast and thick, just how we like it. The crumbs weren't anything special but applied conservatively - my biggest criticism of the schnitz would be that it was a little overcooked and quite dry. Would have loved it had it been slightly juicier - but at least our rock-bottom expectations had been exceeded.

The toppings were a mixed bag - The mozzarella was plentiful and it was well cooked, perfectly gooey and tasted great. The excess napoli definitely helped with the dryness of the chicken, but it was a little bit tomato-pastey for my tastes. One thing the horrible menu photo had over the parma we were served was that it included a slice of ham - I'm normally not too fussed if a parma arrives without ham, but the Windy Hill parma definitely could be improved by a slice or two.

The chips were basic pub chips. Nothing special at all, desperately needed some seasoning - Tomato sauce was supplied on request without any hassle. They weren't bad, but definitely not worth writing home about.

The salad looked impressive, and I'm always a fan of a lot of dressing - but this salad was horribly overdressed. I think they were going for more dressing than actual salad. The lettuce, cucumber and tomato were crisp and fresh, unfortunately they were murdered by a metric tonne of dressing and at least ten thousand mustard seeds (I may be exaggerating there, but not by much). Good foundations that were killed by overzealous dressing.

Another disclaimer - The views or opinions expressed in the below quotes do not represent the opinions of myself or parmadaze.com. Responsibility for the information and views expressed therein lies entirely with the individual(s)... There... that should cover me in case anybody wants to sue!

$21.50 is a tad rich for what we received. The bread roll was a bonus but for that kind've price I would expect table service as well, not "order food at this counter and drinks at that counter". That being said there are a heap of meal specials available for members and non-members alike -

If you are a member of Windy Hill I would recommend trying this parma out (or even ducking in on one of the non-member days). Full price I'm having trouble giving this one my seal of approval. It's better than I expected and by no means the worst parma we've done by a long stretch, but for an over $20 parma I would expect something better.

If you live within a 1km radius of Windy Hill then its worth paying the $11 yearly membership fee and checking out their parma, if not then you won't be missing much by giving this one a miss. The chicken was quality and the toppings were tasty - just let down a little by some lackluster sides. Bomber's supporters might get a kick out of seeing all the Essendon stuff on the walls, but as I bleed red, white and blue I won't be in a hurry to head back any time soon.

[pros]

• Thick, unprocessed chicken breast
• Plentiful cheese

[/pros][cons]

• Overcooked and dry
• Really could use some ham
• Overdressed salad

[/cons]

Parma - 6.17

Chips - 4.67

Salad - 4.33

Value -6.00

Total - 5.47

The search continues...

Attempt #226 - 'The Fifth Province'

When? - 4th of JUNE, 2015

Where? - 3/60 Fitzroy Street. St. Kilda

Price? - $23.90

Website? - http://www.thefifthprovince.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

**EDIT** 21/7/2017 - We went back! Check out our updated review of the new and improved Fifth Province Parma

When I think of drinking in St. Kilda I think of the beach, I think of beer gardens and overpriced Coronas in the sun on a hot summer day. What doesn't spring to mind when I think of drinking in St. Kilda is the classic Irish pub, so imagine my surprise when we discovered The Fifth Province - a down to earth Irish pub smack dab in the middle of Fitzroy street.

photo

"That looks like an interesting spot" I said to myself one day, while walking down Fitzroy street, "I wonder if they do a parma". I scurried home, looked them up on the internet and found the menu -

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 8.02.39 am

"That sounds delish!" I said to myself, "and what is this Irish bacon they speak of? I've never heard of that... I wonder if they have a photo on their Instagra... Holy crap..."

Screen shot 2015-06-05 at 10.16.12 AM

Hot damn that bacon looks good, doesn't it? Finding that photo cemented the choice in stone - We had to check out The Fifth Province.

It was one of the most miserable nights of the year weather-wise, but we powered through to St. Kilda and headed to the pub, It may have been horrible outside but the inside was warm, cosy and already quite full of patrons enjoying an after work beverage. The live music was setting up for the evening and the smell of curry chips wafted through the air - A great atmosphere all round. We pulled up a pew and placed our orders. Quite a good range of beers, all of the staples and for those who lean to the crafty side of things there was a decent selection both on tap and bottled. You'll find something to enjoy, I guarantee.

About ten minutes after ordering our meals arrived from the kitchen...

The schnitzel wasn't huge, but big enough, and thick enough. Pure white chicken breast was slightly overcooked, but not criminally so. The crumbs were probably the weakest part of the foundation, a little thick and didn't really add anything to the dish. They weren't bad, but nothing to write home about.

You don't come across toppings like this very often! I'll start by saying there was a lot of cheese, I'm one of those people who normally says "you can't have too much cheese" but good lord this put me to the test.

The napoli was a little lost under cheese mountain, but it was fresh and chunky - the major issue I (and the other reviewers) had with it was its sweetness. It packs a very sweet, sugary punch that may not be everyone's cup of tea. One of those things that comes down to personal preference.

Now, the Irish bacon.

I've gotta say, with the sweet napoli, metric tonne of cheese and huge chunks of bacon cubes this has to be one of the most unique parmas we've had of 2015, and when something is unique it is always divisive, and that's very much how the Irish bacon was perceived. It didn't taste quite as I expected, as Reviewer Nikki put it in her quote below - it had (and I know this is gonna sound weird) a "corned beef" kind've mouthfeel, and I didn't get the hit of "OMG BACON" I was expecting - It was a more subtle flavour. I liked it, others didn't... Much like the napoli I think this one definitely comes down to personal preference.

The chips were served in a basket on the side, which I loved, If you read the chicken scratch I posted a few weeks back you will know that The Fifth Province is now the 9th parma out of 226 reviews to serve their chips in a separate container. Thats what I call progress! The chips in the basket were not only perfectly fried, but the serving size was deceptively huge - everyone at the table had trouble getting through them all. They were, however, in desperate need of some seasoning, and some sort of dipping sauce would have really carried them to the finish line.

The salad was a bit of an afterthought, a few lettuce leaves and some red onion. They're lucky they covered it in a hefty amount of a tasty balsamic or it would have been a major fail. Not great, not terrible.

Value is a tough one this week. I liked the parma at The Fifth Province, but I didn't love it, and $23.90 is pretty pricey.  At the same time I'll definitely be back as I liked the pub, and I'm keen to try the other meals they have on offer (I spied a burger that looked pretty tasty, and the smell of those curry chips still haunts me). For $23.90 you're taking a gamble on this parma, The same meal is available on the lunch menu for a much more reasonable $17.90 - at this price I have no qualms in giving it a recommendation. Go and check it out at lunchtime just to be sure you like it before revisiting again for dinner.

Like I said before the parma at The Fifth Province is something different, but who doesn't like mixing things up once in awhile? The next time I venture out St. Kilda way this pub will definitely be one of the first places that pops in my head. It's a friendly spot (did I mention the staff? Amazingly friendly and helpful folks all around) with a top notch atmosphere, great beer and decent food - What more can you ask for?

Pros- 

• Heaps of cheese (if you like that sort of thing)
• Massive cubes of Irish bacon (if you like that sort of thing)
• Chips served in separate basket (I know you like that sort of thing)

Cons - 

• Napoli was quite sweet (but maybe you like that sort of thing?)
• Quite pricey for the dinner parma (But the lunch parma is much more reasonable)

Parma - 6.75

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 5.50

Value - 6.00

Total - 6.40

The search continues...

Attempt #225 - 'Little Richard Pizza Bar'

[info]When? - 28th of May, 2015

Where? - 5/17 Flemington Rd. North Melbourne.

Price? - $12 Parma & Pot Thursdays ($16 all other times, no pot included)

Website? - http://www.littlerichard.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Tony [/info]

I wish I had a running tally of the amount of times I've said "We did this pub because we pass it a lot on the way to other parmas", as I use it quite a lot - but the fact is that just what we do! Parma night takes us all over Melbourne, and travelling all over Melbourne with parmas on the brain leads to a lot of moments of "oh they do a parma? we should check them out then".

Living in the Northern suburbs and coming to the city to review parmas we use Flemington Road a lot, and when I'm not trying to work out how many men I would need in my heist to steal the giant flag I'm looking over at Little Richards Pizza Bar, at the base of the RMIT student accommodation, and wondering just how good those $10 jugs of Tiger they advertise are - Well last night that question was answered.

Little Richards is a Uni bar. Moreso than any other Uni bar we've done - To the point where the pub's website has an area where parents can pre-pay for their kids food & drinks via Paypal. I may be 31 but if my local had this feature I'd be giving Mum and Dad a call to top up the ol' account.

Walking into Little Richard's screams student pub. Tattered couch, foosball, giant Jenga and pool tables - it feels like the student lounge on any Uni campus but with beers. I was amazed when we walked through to the side area where the original bar and functioning fireplace from the Old Melbourne Hotel is still in tact - Absolute blast from the past.

We took our seat and checked the menu -

Yep, its parma night again. If we're going to a Uni pub we might as well go for the full "starving student" experience and get the parma as cheap as can be. There is a $16 full priced parma on the regular menu available every other day, but this review won't be vouching for the quality of that one - This week we're focussing on the Thursday special only

We grabbed a $10 Jug of Tiger and ordered our beers. Thoughts on the Tiger? In the free pot it was decent, but it definitely lost something in the jug. I had a free pot and a jug in front of me after ordering and they tasted like completely different beers, even though they had come from the same tap.

If you're after anything more than the absolute basics in terms of range of beers you're out of luck. Tiger, Carlton and cider are pretty much your only options.

Okay, First things first its clear that this bird isn't easy on the eyes... but damn was she big! I wasn't expecting that at all. I was thinking we'd get processed, heart shaped, Coles deli-window schnitzel for sure - but these were actually real chicken. Sure it was hammered damn thin and a little bit over-crumbed, maybe a little too well done around the edges, but it was unprocessed and freakin' huge.

The toppings were applied liberally, I would have loved some ham as it didn't quite hit the mark in terms of flavour, but the napoli was fresh and the cheese was delivered with gusto and well grilled ... but something was missing, I've mentioned in the past the phenomenon of Big Parma Syndrome (it's in the Glossary) and Little Richard's parma definitely had a minor case of BPS.

The chips were okay, nothing to write home about - just standard pub chips. They could have been fresher, I feel like they had been sitting in a bowl for a little while, However they were dusted with a very tasty seasoning that would have really given a great punch to a fresher chip. Good points and bad I suppose, If they weren't served under such a massive parma I'd be complaining that they could have been another handful - but nobody was walking away hungry from this behemoth.

There wasn't any salad served with the Thursday $12 parma. The menu...

Says that the full priced parma does include a salad, but like I said earlier, this is not the one we're judging today.  So as there is no salad we'll be invoking the "You don't win friends with salad" rule this week (Jeez, If you're new I'm sending you to the FAQ & Glossary a lot this week, apologies).

It's not often I cannot finish a parma due to its sheer size, but I'm ashamed to admit this parma beat me and I had to leave a little on the plate. A parma I can't finish for $12 (with a pot!) is a bargain in my book, The Value score is going to take a hit due to the lack of salad, but if you don't give a crap about the greens then this may be one worth checking out.

I'm trying to view Little Richard's parma through the lens of a student. If I'm living off 2 minute noodles and Costco brand corn chips most of my week a $12 parma that I'm going to struggle to finish, with an included bevvie, would be a godsend. Sure its not the best parma around in terms of flavour but thats not the market they're aiming for. If you're a student in Melbourne you should give Mum & Dad a call, get them to put some cash on your account and get down to Little Richard's for a solid meal (and you can spend your credit on $10 jugs too, but we won't tell them that).

[pros]

• Massive
• Cheap
• Real chicken

[/pros][cons]

• A little flavourless
• No salad
• No ham

[/cons]

Parma - 6.47

Chips - 4.83

Salad - "You don't win friends with salad" rule invoked

Value - 7.17

Total - 5.99

The search continues...

 

Attempt #224 - 'The Savoy Tavern'

[info]When? - 21st of May, 2015

Where? - Corner of Bourke and Spencer St. CBD.

Price? - $16 with a pot of Boags. Thursday only

Website? - http://thesavoytavern.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

If you're anything like me, when you think about the Savoy Tavern on the corner of Bourke and Spencer Street, you think of this...

Which is how the pub looked for many, many years.

But last year some new life was breathed into the old girl, after a staggering revamp, the Savoy Tavern now looks a little something like this -

Quite an upgrade!

The renovations are spectacular - They have found the perfect balance between retro drinking hole and a modern pub. The booths are plus and roomy, plenty of TV's to catch the footy and I just love that they still have the old school cigarette butt trough running along the base of the bar (you can't use it, of course, but its a great remnant of a simpler, smokier time). Smokers will be happy though as there is a quaint little courtyard to the side where you are free to get your nicotine fix.

We took our seats and checked the menu, now we normally try and avoid these but this deal was too got to pass up -

That vague mention of a "parma night" on the website refers to this parma being $16 with an included pot of Boags. That's good value right out of the gate.

But. (and this is important) As far as I can tell there is no parma on the standard menu at the Savoy, meaning the parma we are about to review is available Thursday nights and Thursday nights only. I don't want you rocking up on a Tuesday to disappointment. There is a plain schnitty available on the other nights of the week for $16 (no pot)... but its just not the same.

The beer list at the Savoy won't win any awards, but there's enough to wet your whistle. The Savoy has solid roots in the Lion range of beers (Boags, Hahn, James Squire, Heineken, Kirin etc.) with the occasional dalliance into something more substantial, such as Stone & Wood Pacific Ale.

Anyway. We ordered at the bar and about 25 minutes later the main event arrived -

The schnitzel was decent. Not the best quality we've had but it was real chicken breast and well cooked - If I had to nitpick I would say that the crumbs were applied a little too thick which was unnecessary as they had nothing to hide, this was a quality bit of chicken.

Other than that it was a little bit overcooked. I don't mind my parma crunchy but we had a couple of edges that took it a little too far over the line. But as I said I'm nitpicking, this was a solid foundation for the meal.

The toppings were damn good. If you like a lot of napoli this is the parma for you - Which is a good thing as the napoli on the Savoy's parma was fresh, chunky and had a fantastic rich flavour - definitely the highlight element on the plate.

The cheese was also applied liberally and grilled well. The ham was there and appreciated - but its flavour was kind've lost amongst the stellar napoli.

I'm not big on shoestring fries with my parma, so these chips were never going to do well. They were well cooked and plenty of them but I just have trouble getting on board with shoestring unless they are done spectacularly well, which these weren't. They weren't bad, but they weren't great. Just standard.

Oh, and the Savoy needs to invest in bigger plates. As I mentioned in the Chicken Scratch I posted a couple weeks back about the parma being served on top of the chips I am usually pretty adept in manoeuvring the parma away from the chips when it's delivered - but the plate at the Savoy was just too small and a large portion of my parma had to be eaten with the chips still suffocating underneath.

For salad we had a rather liberal serving of coleslaw. Shredded cabbage, carrot, a lot of onion and ... peas (for some reason).

The peas were an odd choice but they didn't really add or detract from the coleslaw at all. There was so much onion in it that its pretty much all that could be tasted. I love onion so I loved this coleslaw, however the rest of the group wildly disagreed with me, so I guess it just comes down to personal taste.

For value this parma smashes it out of the park. Normally a "parma night" is an excuse to roll out the processed schnitzels, no ham and generally crappy toppings but The Savoy thumbs its nose at this practice. If I worked in the city and didn't have to try a new parma every Thursday night then I'd be more than happy to make this a regular stop.

The Savoy's parma isn't without its faults but for only $16 with a pot a lot of sins can be forgiven. It's a fantastic pub with a brilliant old school vibe that I will definitely stop back into for a quick drink the next time I'm in the area - For the price you haven't really got anything to lose, so its definitely one worth checking out.

However this story doesn't have a happy ending as plans to demolish The Savoy and build a high-rise apartment building have just been approved, so get in quick before we lose a Melbourne gem we only just had the chance to discover.

Parma - 7.40

Chips - 5.40

Salad - 5.40

Value - 8.90

Total - 6.90

The search continues...

Attempt #223 - 'The Hyde Street Hotel'

[info]When? - 14th of May, 2015

Where? - 188 Hyde St. Yarraville

Price? - $23

Website? - http://hydestreethotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

In a weird and completely unplanned turn of events I only just discovered that its been almost a year to the day that today's pub re-opened after a 6 month refurbishment as the Hyde Street Hotel (previously known as the Vic on Hyde) - And what an amazing job they did.

The pub looks fantastic. From the spacious and inviting front bar, the lounge area, the massive dining area and even the sports bar out the back - they have spared no expense bringing this old pub to life.

You wouldn't guess it from the outside but the Hyde is absolutely massive. I am having trouble thinking of a pub I've been to in recent days that has been anywhere near as spacious. We opted to eat in the dining room for our review, so we arrived, took our seats, check the menu and found the parma with top billing in the "Classics" section - Where it belongs. 

We ordered our meals and awaited their arrival - but there was another extremely pressing issue - We didn't have any beers!

Luckily the Hyde had us covered with a quite decent tap list, It's nothing that would blow your socks off, but enough of a selection to satisfy a range of tastes, and for those who have trouble making up their minds they have tasting paddles available for $12 each

Protip - The sports bar out the back has Mountain Goat Steam Ale on tap that was weirdly absent from the front bar

There were a bunch of specials at The Hyde depending on the night of the week you visit. Thursday was steak night, where $20 gets you a porterhouse and pot of Cricketers. Wednesday gets you the same deal but swap out the steak for a Burger, yet (unfortunately) I couldn't see a parma special anywhere - although they do offer a $15 express lunch Monday to Friday.

As for drink specials there's a decent Happy Hour on Friday nights, as well as a very interesting "Dollar pots between the bounce and first goal" of each quarter of Saturday night footy... Could be handy on a low scoring game!

We grabbed our beers, and about 15 minutes after ordering our entree arrived (oh, I forgot to tell you we ordered an entree. Yep!)

Now I haven't had a lot of chilli cheese fries in my day, But I've gotta tell you, these were some damn good chilli cheese fries. The chilli was on point and the chips were an almost perfect vehicle to get the chilli from the plate to my mouth, although I can't help but think that a chunkier chip would have been more conducive to the meal - but they were great none the less.

Shortly after we polished off the entree the main event hit the table...

The schnitzel was fantastic. A plump, juicy chicken breast cooked to perfection - It was simply dripping with moisture, perfectly done.

The panko crumbs were conservatively applied and well cooked and the schnitzel itself was just the right level of thickness. All up the schnitzel was a spot-on foundation for the toppings...

Which were mostly great. The cheese blend carried a fantastic flavour, a tight blend with the sharpness of tasty but the gooeyness of mozzarella, Grilled to perfection. The ham was applied liberally, it didn't knock us over with flavour but it definitely made its presence known. The weakest element of the topping trio was probably the napoli. There wasn't much of it at all and definitely wasn't "chunky" as advertised on the menu, which was a slight letdown to an otherwise stellar parma.

The chips were absolutely delicious, these are the chips they should've used with the chilli fries. Chunky, well seasoned, perfectly cooked with pillows of fluffy potato inside. My mouth is watering just remembering them. Totally fantastic.

Three of the four people at the table enjoyed their salad. The unlucky one did not. It was a visually impressive garden salad with lettuce, onion, carrot, cucumber and shredded cabbage topped with a delicious creamy dressing ... unfortunately Reviewer Stefo didn't get any dressing and his salad remained horribly dry. Luck of the draw I suppose (I was happy with mine!)

For $23 this parma is on the more expensive side, but to be honest I don't mind paying for quality. The ingredients of this parma were top notch and I'd have zero qualms shelling out another $23 to have it again. There is a parma on the menu at the back bar for $15 but I cannot vouch to its quality as we ate in the dining room, However if its the same quality as the one we received up the front get on it and get on it now!

Despite a couple of flaws the Hyde Street Hotel parma was extremely enjoyable. The entire Footscray/Yarraville area seems to be booming with impressive pubs, and I can't wait to see what we find in the area in the future.

[pros]

• Perfectly cooked, juicy chicken breast.
• Amazing chips
• Great looking pub with a solid craft beer selection

[/pros][cons]

• "Chunky" napoli wasn't chunky (and barely there)
• One salad missed out on dressing

[/cons]

Parma - 7.75

Chips - 8.88

Salad - 4.58

Value - 7.00

Total - 7.19

The search continues...

Attempt #222 - 'The Railway Hotel'

When? - 7th of May, 2015

Where? - 291 Albert St. Brunswick

Price? - $17

Website? - http://www.railwayhotelbrunswick.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

**EDIT** 12/06/15 - After an off-the-books revisit to the Railway we have noticed the price has jumped $2 to $19 total, but with the price jump they have also increased the quality. Still a great parma worth checking out (and cheap jugs still remain).

I'm not gonna lie, I love this pub. I'm actually a bit conflicted giving it a review as I don't really want word to get out about it - I seen so many pubs in Brunswick get the magic sucked out of them by a sudden burst in popularity *cough*Penny Black*cough*.

Over the last few months The Railway has become my watering hole of choice when the urge for a few beverages strikes. Be it a Friday night or Sunday sippers you will, more often than not, find me at The Railway, So when they finally came to their senses and added a parma to the menu we knew we had to check it out, and check it out we did.

Positioned on Albert Street (beside Brunswick station) The Railway is removed from the hustle and bustle of Sydney Rd, but still close enough should the urge strike to go elsewhere (although I don't know why you would).

If you ask someone who goes to the Railway "But what's so good about it?" The first thing they will most likely tell you about is the $9 Jugs.

Thats right, $9 Jugs. All day, every day. Almost. I say "almost" because at 10pm the price of a jug goes to $10, at 11pm it goes to $11 and at 12pm it goes ... you get the idea. The beer you get in your jug is a "Railway Hotel Lager", I wouldn't call it my favourite beer but it's easy to drink, sessionable, and by the end of your 2nd jug it's hard to really care.

If you're feeling like something a little more fancy than Railway Lager the Railway's craft beer list is quite impressive. A heap of taps with everything from Mountain Goat to Feral Hop Hog, so no matter how expensive (or cheap) your tastes are you should have no problem finding a beer you like.

But enough about beers ... you're here for the parmas!

We took a seat in the back dining area, grabbed a jug and a menu and took a gander, locating our target for the evening...

Sounds great to me. We placed our orders at the bar and awaited the arrival of our dinner.

One thing I like about the Railway is the sheer variety of rooms. There's the front bar with the pool table, the back bar/dining area with comfy couches, the side beer garden with a view of the train line, then over the other side there's another inside/outside beer garden with industrial strength heaters for those chilly nights and a massive screen to catch the footy and beyond that there's a band room thats usually pumping on a Saturday night.

After about half an hour our meals arrived from the kitchen -

My initial thought was that the schnitzel looked a bit small - Which it was (kinda) but that is probably my only complaint. It was thick, pure white chicken breast and juicy with herbs mixed through the (conservatively applied) crumbs.

It was well cooked and did it's job perfectly. I'm honestly struggling to think of a criticism on the schnitzel, other than, like I said, its overall size on the plate.

The toppings were also impressive. The napoli was applied liberally and even though the schnitty was a bit small they put enough ham on top to cover two on them. The cheese was flavoursome and grilled to perfection. I was a bit apprehensive when this parma first dropped on the table but my fears were absolutely unfounded - this was a solid meal.

The chips were fantastic, no two ways about it. A massive serving of beer battered perfection. They had just the right amount of crunch and were dusted with just the right amount of spice (I want to say rosemary? but I'm not sure). There's a bowl of chips on the menu as an appetiser which I would order again in a heartbeat. Give me some aioli or gravy or other dipping sauce and we'd have perfection on a plate.

The salad wasn't as good as the chips, but it served its purpose. Standard garden salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumber & onion) but the ingredients were fresh and there was no shortage of the good stuff (by "good stuff" I mean cucumber & onion). It was well dressed with a dusting of cracked pepper to give it a bit of spice. The salad didn't blow my socks off but it definitely left me satisfied.

I was a bit worried when I first saw the parma that I would be walking away hungry - However with the mammoth serving of chips and salad I was totally satisfied at the end of the meal. I'd be completely happy to pay $17 for this again (and I definitely will, probably this weekend) - and the $9 jugs to accompany the parma is just icing on the cake.

What more can I say? The Railway is definitely worth checking out. Great beers, great food, friendly staff, even backpackers accommodation upstairs if you need a little lie-down after too many $9 jugs.

So... Uh... On second thought don't go to the Railway. It's totally bad. Horrible. Not even worth your time... I'll be at the bar if you need me.

Pros

• Real chicken breast, plenty of toppings
• Chips just shy of perfection
• Great value
• $9 Jugs

Cons

• Parma was slightly small

Parma - 7.5

Chips - 8.63

Salad - 7.00

Value - 7.75

Total - 7.53

The search continues...

Attempt #221 - 'The Provincial Hotel'

[info]When? - 23rd of April, 2015

Where? - 299 Brunswick St. Fitzroy

Price? - $20

Website? - http://provincialhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Tony [/info]

If, by this point, you are unaware who the Open Door Pub Co. is you haven't been paying attention and need to focus up (or you just don't read these reviews as often as I think you should, which is, in my opinion, an even more heartbreaking fact).

Either way here is a quick refresher - If you've tried a parma on our top ten, chances are it was from a pub in the ODPC's stable. Our top parmas are littered with their pubs - The Imperial, The Exchange, The Duke, The College Lawn & The Portland Hotel to name just a few. They've got a great pedigree, so when I'm craving a good parma my first stop is usually checking which pubs in the Open Door Pub Co. we haven't done. And we're running out. If you had've asked me yesterday I would have said we had two ODPC pub's left to do. Now we have one.

Before I ever knew The Provincial was an OPDC pub I liked it. It ticks almost every box for what I like in a pub

• Live Music   ✓
• Good Cocktails   ✓
• Lots of exposed, aged wood & brick   ✓
• Overstuffed leather couches   ✓
• Beer garden   ✓
• A bunch of different rooms to lose yourself in   ✓
• A solid range of craft beers   ✗
• A live-in pub dog   ✗ (although he may have been hiding at the time, who knows)

Like I said, almost every box. The beer list seemed to be firmly planted in James Squire's pocket - Not that that is a horrible thing, still plenty of tasty beers there, but a bit more variety would have been nice.

Not that I had a lot of beer, as unbeknownst to us until we arrived, Thursday night is 2-for-1 cocktail night at The Prov. $18 gets you two of any of the below cocktails -

I indulged in the Moscow Mule and Espresso Martini - both all sorts of deliciousness.

We took our seats in the dining area between the front bar and the beer garden, checked the menu -

Other than the 2-for-1 cocktails, the specials board had listed that Thursday night was also "Schooner & Schnitzel night" for $15. We inquired about the special but, unfortunately, the deal only applies to a plain schnitty, no parma toppings included.

After about 15 - 20 minutes our meals started appearing from the kitchen -

The schnitzel was both this parmas biggest strength and one of its major downfalls.

First up the sized varied significantly around the plate - Mine (pictured) got the short end of the stick and I got the smallest of the table. Not that it was criminally small, I didn't walk away hungry, but I was definitely looking at the other plates with envy. At the same time, one thing variance in size can assure you of is that this is real chicken breast, no processed cookie-cutter heart shaped schnitzels here.

The schnitzel was fresh, juicy and carried a great flavour - but a big criticism I had about it was that it was crumbed as if it was a poor quality schnitzel. Like they were trying to hide something even though they had nothing to hide. The crumbs had the trademark crunch I love, however they were quite thick for the quality of the chicken, to the point where they started to detach from the chicken. As I said, wholly unnecessary as the chicken breast was quality.

The toppings were good all round. The napoli was fresh and flavoursome, the cheese was tasty but there could have been more (lots of nudity around the edges). The slice of ham was definitely appreciated, and its flavour definitely made itself known.

One issue I had, and I'll get to it in more detail a little further down the page, but they needed to put their salad in a bowl. The dressing they put on the salad had a very strong, invasive flavour that soaked into the base of the parma and definitely detracted from my enjoyment of the dish.

The chips were stellar. Just how I like em. Beer battered, well seasoned, served to the side of the parma, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside and we were delivered a pot of sauce with the parmas ... what more could a guy ask for!? (Although they also were victim of the "invasion of the salad dressing")

Now. The salad. It was actually quite tasty and unique - It seemed to be an attempted hybrid of a garden salad and coleslaw. We had lettuce leaves, tomato, cucumber and onion... along with shredded cabbage and capsicum. I couldn't quite put my finger on the flavour of the dressing, my best guess would be olive oil infused with ... something. Perhaps lemongrass or some other spice? I didn't hate it on the salad, in fact I quite enjoyed it - but it needed to be kept in a bowl so that it didn't invade all the other elements on the dish.

For twenty bucks? Yeah I'd give this parma another crack. The two-for-one cocktails definitely helped sweeten the deal. If the Provincial extended their "Schooner & Schnitzel night" to include parma toppings I'd be telling you to drop everything and go now. Well, not now, the next convenient Thursday night that the deal would be available. But you know what I mean.

In re-reading the above review I feel that it might've come across a tad harsh, I suppose that, being an ODPC pub, I put the provincial under a stronger microscope than I do other parmas - To be fair this is the pub group that brings us our multi-award winning number 1 parma.

I enjoyed the parma at The Prov. It's not without its faults, but its definitely worth checking out if you're in the area.

Our last remaining ODPC pub is the Geebung Polo Club in Hawthorn. Definitely gonna save this one until we really need it.

[pros]

• Quality chicken
• Great chips
• Tasty toppings
• 2-4-1 Cocktails

[/pros][cons]

• Thick crumbs
• Salad needed to be in a bowl
• Some schnitzel nudity

[/cons]

Parma - 7.20

Chips - 7.46

Salad - 5.70

Value - 7.20

Total - 6.95

The search continues...

Attempt #220 - 'The University Hotel'

[info]When? - 16th of April, 2015

Where? - 272 Lygon St. Carlton

Price? - $18

Website? - http://www.unihotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony [/info]

If you've got an extremely good memory you'll remember that I wanted to try The University Hotel in October of 2013, but we made a mistake and wound up going to Universal instead (which turned out to be a pretty happy accident, as Universal's parma was actually pretty good) - but a part of me always wondered what we missed out on at The University Hotel, so last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Lygon St.

Now if you're a fan of the Carlton footy club you may be surprised to learn that it was within the walls of The University hotel that the CFC was founded (at least thats what a plaque on the wall says, and this article seems to back it up). The pub itself is surprisingly small. I grabbed my beer at the bar and assumed the rest of the pub was upstairs but nope ... function room.

It's a cosy spot, but there were enough tables both inside and out on busy Lygon st to satisfy our needs, It was a good night to people-watch so we pulled up a pew at the outdoor eating area, checked the menu...

Nice to see the parma get top billing on the menu

And ordered our meals.

One thing that really surprised me about The University Hotel was their respect for good quality beer. Like I said it's a tiny pub with only a few of taps, but on those taps we had the option on Mountain Goat Steam Ale, Moon Dog Love Tap, Hawthorn Pale Ale and a rotating guest tap, currently pouring Wolf of the Willows XPA. All hovering at about $5 per pot at $10 per pint, which is pretty reasonable in my book.

After about 15 minutes our parmas arrived -

The schnitzel was big enough, I'd actually say schnitzels as it was two separate chicken breasts cheesed together. The schnitzel wasn't very thick and it was quite overcooked, leaving it rather dry.

The toppings looked great on the plate - good coverage, and I loved the use of shaved ham, but nothing seemed to pop. There was no napoli that I could detect, and ...to be honest all the toppings tasted "fake", kind've like if you scraped the toppings off of a McCain's oven-bake ham & cheese personal pizza and onto a parma.

Okay, that last paragraph came off a bit harsh as I didn't really dislike this meal - It served its purpose and wasn't really that offensive, but it wasn't great. I'll just say this - when I'm cutting my parma and dipping it into tomato sauce, there is definitely something lacking in the flavour department.

The steak chips, on the other hand, were pretty good. Plenty of them, well salted with chicken salt and served with an aforementioned pot of tomato sauce (without having to ask, standard on the plate). These days I prefer a beer battered chip (I think we all do), but for what they were they did their job well.

Garden salad was pretty standard. The big four - Lettuce, tomato, onion and cucumber with a creamy dressing. Nothing bad, nothing good - it was fresh ... but very mid-range.

For $18 I'd probably give the University Hotel's parma a miss the next time around - Not that it was bad, but just up the road from this pub is Universal, which has a better parma, better chips, better salad and is $4 cheaper - I think that's check-mate. University Hotel does offer a $16 Pot & Parma night on Tuesdays which would be the only way I could ever put a recommendation on it.

Maybe I'm just getting grumpy in my old age as the other reviewers were a bit more positive in their scores and comments than I'm being, This review is coming off as far too harsh, so I'll reiterate - It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.

If you're a die-hard Carlton supporter and want to see where it all began then definitely stick your head into The University - Grab a pint of beer and take in the room - If you want to give the parma a crack while you're there you won't be too disappointed, but you won't be blown away either.

I said at the end of our Universal review that they set the bar high for parmas on Lygon Street - The University Hotel has managed to limbo under it.

[pros]

• Surprisingly good range of beers
• chicken salted, sauce included chips

[/pros][cons]

• Thin/dry parma
• Processed toppings

[/cons]

Parma - 5.50

Chips - 6.40

Salad - 5.00

Value - 6.40

Total - 5.76

The search continues...

Attempt #219 - 'Rozzi's Italian Canteen'

[info]When? - 9th of April, 2015

Where? - Highpoint Shopping Centre, Rosamond Rd. Maribyrnong

Price? - $22.90

Website? - http://www.rozzis.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

A cafe at a shopping centre?

Normally I wouldn't look at a place like Rozzi's twice. It feels more like a spot you would stop at to grab a coffee and maybe a chocolate chip muffin for your walk between Kookai and Forever New (for this hypothetical I'm assuming you're a 2o year old girl). It just doesn't feel like a place where you'd stop for a parma and a few beers.

But then, as of a couple of weeks ago, I started seeing some very interesting pictures popping up on the various social media sites. Pictures of a damn tasty looking, topping laden parma with chunky, delicious looking chips and a tantalising greek salad. On at least four occasions over the past fortnight different pictures of the same parma kept crossing my path, and every time the same name was attached - Rozzi's at Highpoint.

Now there are other Rozzi's locations around Melbourne, according to their website they have spots at Chadstone, Epping Plaza, Greensborough Plaza, Fountain Gate and Craigieburn. Basically they've got the shopping centres covered. Now this review is for the Highpoint location so I can't officially speak to the quality of the others ... but you'd think they'd be pretty similar. A quarter pounder tastes the same at every McDonalds.

The Rozzi's at Highpoint is relatively new. Part of the latest renovations it's, if you know Highpoint, between the new supermarket and that dumpling place thats always ridiculously busy (seriously, if you're in a queue 30 people deep for dumplings you may have to re-assess your life choices). Half of the tables are inside the store, half are out in the general walkway and there is an outdoor eating area just on the other side - It was a lovely night so we pulled up a chair at the outside area.

We grabbed a menu, spied our target for the evening...

... And placed our order at the bar.

The beer selection advertised on Rozzi's website is pretty impressive for a cafe, however in reality the selection was limited to bottles of Asahii, Peroni and one or two less notable choices. Looks like Asahii was the drink of choice for the evening.

After about half an hour of waiting our parmigianas started filing out of the kitchen...

Looking good!

The schnitzel was both great and its biggest failing. Rozzi's parma uses real, unprocessed, pure white, thick chicken breast. It was juicy, tasty and big enough that you won't be walking away hungry. However (and this is the whole dishes biggest failing) the crumbs were burnt. Not just a little crispy, burnt burnt, and all five parmas that we received were the same ... and come to think of it the photos I saw leading up to the meal also showed signs of char.

Amazingly though, it didn't kill the dish. Yes there was a slight ash-y taste occasionally, but the meal was so smothered in amazing toppings it wasn't as big of a deal as you would expect.

First up, the napoli was fresh, chunky, applied liberally and carried a fantastic, rich flavour. They weren't tight with the ham in the slightest - lashings of flavoursome shaved ham coated this parma from side to side, all held together with a hearty layer of grilled-to-perfection cheese.

Flavour-wise this parma reminded me a lot of our first trip to the Portland Hotel, even down to the wooden board for presentation - I would not be surprised at all if I heard that Rozzi's got their inspiration for this parma from the Portland.

The chips were phenomenal. If I didn't know any better I'd say these were Bad Boy Chips, actually, looking at them again now I'd say there is a very high possibility that these are bad boys. As the parmas were dropped off the waiter asked if we would like any tomato sauce or aioli, we obliged and were presented with four pots of dipping sauce (two tomato, two aioli) which brought these bad boys to life. My only (extremely minor) criticism would be that they lacked a bit of salt, and I could not see any salt shakers on our or any of the nearby tables.

Kicking goals again, the Rozzi's parma was accompanied by a chock-full greek salad. We had lettuce, we had olives, we had capsicum, tomato, cucumber, onion AND we had feta cheese. They say the way to a man's heart is through is stomach - well the way to my heart is to put cheese in my salad. A fitting accompaniment to a damn good meal.

For $22.90 I was pretty happy with the parma that we received, especially considering the location (with big meals at a cafe usually being much pricier than the same deal at a pub). The option of a tap beer rather than a pricey stubby would have been appreciated, but again, considering where they are, thats a pretty big ask. I was more than happy to pay the price for this parma and I would have no qualms checking it out again the next time I'm dress shopping with the wife.

The Rozzi's parma had one failing - It was burnt. Despite still being a great meal I can't help but feel that if it wasn't burnt we'd be looking at a new entry in the top ten. Maybe we got a bad batch and you'll get a non-burnt, amazing parma when you try it - or maybe you'll get one equally as charred. Either way it's worth a crack, Definitely the best you'll get at Highpoint anyway.

[pros]

• Plentiful, flavoursome toppings
• Amazing chips
• Quality salad

[/pros][cons]

• Burnt schnitzel

[/cons]

Parma - 7.70

Chips - 8.20

Salad - 7.30

Value - 7.40

Total - 7.66

The search continues...

Attempt #218 - 'Fredricks'

[info]When? - 26th of March, 2015

Where? - 980 Mount Alexander Rd. Essendon

Price? - $10 parma Thursdays ($12 with Salad)

Website? - http://www.fredricksrestaurant.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Grace, Hayden, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

When picking the location for parma reviews each week I try to be pretty balanced. I do my best to pick well known, interesting spots that aren't too close together on consecutive weeks - Just so everyone feels like they're getting a turn.

This week I was selfish. It was a parma review at a spot I'm guessing 95% of you are currently saying "Where the hell is that?" but since they started advertising it I knew I had to know what the parma at Fredricks was like, due to my own morbid curiosity ... I just had to know.

In the middle of Essendon, just after you pass the train station on Mount Alexander Road is Fredricks. For as long as I can remember Fredricks has been the function room attached to the Best Western Alexander Motor Inn, and has garnered a bit of fame in the area for their monthly over 28's single's nights.  I'd never been inside the doors myself however, on the way to a different parma a few weeks ago, I spotted this...

Despite their horrible choice of a grunge-style font for the words "Thursday Nights" my interest was piqued, it took a few weeks to convince everyone else that it was a good idea to hit up Freddies, but last night that is exactly what we did.

Walking into Fredricks I was expecting an empty room ... imagine my surprise when the place was a flurry of activity, For a moment I was unsure we would be able to secure a table, but after some quick re-arranging from the very friendly staff they managed to squeeze us in.

If your group of friends has gone through their run of 18th's, 21st's or engagement parties then you've most likely been in a room like Fredricks. Its your standard function room with bar up one end, dance floor up the other and a massive accordion-style door at the halfway point to divide the room should there be two parties on at once - The white tablecloth laden tables were pleasant enough, I just wish they had've opened up the blinds while we were there - Sure the weather was sucky but I'd like to be able to know if it's night or day while I'm enjoying my meal, having them closed felt like I was eating in a casino.

I glanced at the menu and noticed that there are some non-parma special parmas available at other times...

Twice the price as what we were paying, but a couple of novelty options thrown in for good measure.

But screw that! We're in for parma night - We ordered our meals and stumbled upon the first caveat: Salad is extra. The parma special is just parma and chips with salad or veggies copping a $2 surcharge. Fair enough, we like salad so we all fished around in our pockets for some spare change and chucked in a salad, bringing the grand total up to $12 for the meal. We ordered our meals, kept one eye on the cricket, and awaited their arrival.

The selection of beers was quite limited - no taps available our options were stubbies of Carlton, VB, Crownies, Guinness ... I think I saw a Boags... you get the idea. Stubby of Crown rang up at $6 even.

After about one beer's wait the parmas started arriving from the kitchen...

Chicken thickness varied from plate-to-plate, with mine (pictured) being at about mid-range. It wasn't the best quality schnitzel we've had (the shape of mine was the very definition of "heart shaped schnitzel"), the crumbs had some padding to them, but it didn't feel like they were trying to hide anything. It was competently cooked with no sign of burnt edges.

The toppings that we had were decent, but I would have loved a slice of ham. It's not uncommon for discount parmas to forego the ham - and if the parma is good enough on its own I don't miss it too much ... but I think a slice of ham would've really helped this one along.

The cheese was fine, nothing really to report. The napoli was probably the best part of the dish - liberally applied, fresh and flavourful, the napoli really helped boost this dish from "mediocre" to "not terrible"

Apologies for the shadow, down lights are a pain the the ass!

The chips were okay but I would have loved more of them - the small handful we got wasn't nearly enough and if we hadn't paid extra for the side salad I would've been annoyed and walking away hungry.

For the extra two bucks they sure squeezed a lot into that little salad bowl. Chock-full of ingredients (the olives were particularly tasty), but it was a tad divisive on the level of dressing used - I love a lot of dressing, and this salad was swimming in it ... so I enjoyed it, but others around the table who aren't as dressing-mad as I weren't as pleased ... personal preference I suppose.

If I was stuck at Fredricks on a Thursday night I'd have the parma again - it definitely exceeded the expectations my mind had set for it. Had I paid the full price of $21 I would have been less impressed (although I get the feeling that the full price parma is different to the discount one, as the menu lists the full price version with a slice of ham). As far as discount parmas go it was okay - If we're looking at the Essendon area we've paid twice as much for a parma at least twice as shitty, so I'd happily return to Fredricks than go back there any day.

If you're after a quick, cheap parma fix then Fredricks just might have what you're after - if you want anything more than that you'll probably be disappointed. It was better than I expected, but my expectations were damn low going in.

If you've read this far I thank you for indulging me in reading a review for a place you'll probably never visit, next week it'll be a place a little more well known, I swear!

[pros]

• Cheap
• Tasty, plentiful napoli

[/pros][cons]

• Not nearly enough chips
• Sub-par schnitzel quality

[/cons]

Parma - 5.58

Chips - 4.81

Salad - 4.88

Value - 7.69

Total - 5.71

The search continues...

Attempt #217 - 'The Esplanade Hotel'

[info]When? - 19th of March, 2015

Where? - 11 The Esplanade, St. Kilda

Price? - $19.50

Website? - http://espy.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

In any conversation you have about Melbourne's live music scene The Esplanade Hotel is sure to come up. In fact, I bet if I Google "Melbourne's best live music venue's" the first article I find will mention the Espy ... Hold on ... Yes and yes.

It's a pub that I have long considered doing, and last week when I asked around the review team if they would be keen to go, the most popular response by far was "We haven't done the Espy yet?!" It seemed like an obvious one, one we should've done in the first month, let alone on our five year anniversary (Oh, and in case you missed it, this week marks 5 years of ParmaDaze being a thing. Woo!)

So we didn't waste any more time - Last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to St. Kilda Esplanade and the jewel in her crown - The Esplanade Hotel.

The Espy just screams "live music venue". Gig posters everywhere, black painted walls, torn & mismatched furniture and musical equipment being loaded in and out constantly (either that or someone was just stealing drum sets and we did nothing to stop him).

There's a couple of pool tables and arcade machines out the back of the main bar if you're so inclined, but for our parma we opted to eat downstairs, in the cosy Espy Kitchen. There were menus on the tables upstairs so I assume the food menu is also available up there - but I can't be sure.

We found our table, grabbed the menu and spied our target for the evening -

We ordered our parmas and a beverage. Beer selection is pretty grim in the Kitchen, if you aren't happy with Pure Blonde, Draught, VB, Fat Yak or Cascade you're going to struggle. I ordered a pint of Pure Blonde but was reminded (I've been here before, but always in a much less sober state than I was last night) that they don't serve pints at the Espy, only pots or jugs.

We grabbed our pots and returned to the table. Our very sticky table that was in desperate need of a wipe down. Something about the Espy wasn't filling me with confidence that this was going to be good, I was mentally preparing myself for heart shaped processed crap - Which was why, 10 minutes later when these parmas fell to the table, I was in shock...

Holy crap these parmas looked good! Not to mention damn photogenic, the photos came out great. Which is why you're probably going to have a hard time believing me when I say they were quite a let down.

Cannot fault their use of real chicken breast, not a piece of processed crap in sight, it was real, thick, chicken breast - kudos on them for that. But there was a lot of nude schnitzel around the edges, which I can forgive at times if the schnitzel can hold its own without the toppings - this one didn't. It was as bland as cardboard, and very dry. The crumbs were an odd mixture of both crunchy and soggy and were in desperate need of a bit of seasoning - everyone at the table reached for the salt & pepper shakers straight away.

The toppings weren't much better. I had to check and see if the ham was there as I just couldn't taste it, the napoli wasn't pure tomato paste, but also didn't add much to the dish. The cheese was actually pretty good, kept its consistency well and grilled to perfection.

Don't get me wrong, the parma was edible, but it was like someone had sucked all of the flavour out of the dish, every bite was just more and more nothingness. I will say that the thickness of the chicken definitely helped, I struggled to finish the whole thing - it'd be hard to walk away from this one still hungry.

A bit of a spoiler for the salad section next, but the chips were the best thing on the plate. Beer battered, crunchy on the outside, pillowy potato inside - This is how I like my chips and they nailed it. My only criticism is that I wanted more, that might just be me being greedy but I felt like I could do with at least another half-handful. Other than that a sauce or aioli pot would've taken these boys to the top.

Like the parma, the salad was quite "meh". Garden salad of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onion tossed through some balsamic. It served its purpose and I appreciated the separate bowl, just nothing to write home about.

For $19.50 I wouldn't be rushing out to have this parma again, The price is reasonable but the flavour just isn't there. However the Espy does run a $14 parma night on Mondays with novelty toppings - I think this would be the only way I'd recommend it, because if you took the parma we had, throw some hot salami and jalapenos on top and you'd get the whack of flavour this parma so desperately needed. That'd be my recommendation - Worth a crack on parma night if you get it with novelty toppings.

This parma was a roller coaster of emotions. I was excited, then worried, then excited again, then let down, then there were tasty chips, then there was a bland parma. It was all over the shop.

One thing you can't fault the Espy on though - It's still an amazing live music venue, an icon of Melbourne and its definitely worth checking out just for that, I just wish they'd start stocking bloody pint glasses.

[pros]

• Great chips
• Thick, unprocessed chicken breast

[/pros][cons]

• Flavourless, bland schnitzel
• Flavourless, bland toppings.

[/cons]

Parma - 4.25

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 4.88

Value - 4.50

Total - 4.98

The search continues...

Attempt #216 - 'P.J. O'Brien's - Southbank'

[info]When? - 12th of March, 2015

Where? - Southgate restaurant & Shopping precinct, Southbank.

Price? - $19.50

Website? - http://www.pjobriens.com.au/southbank/

Reviewers – Lee, Matt, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony[/info]

Our relationship with Irish pubs can best be described as "turbulent". We've had the good, we've had the bad, and we've had the ugly (and I know Elephant & Wheelbarrow is technically an English pub, but for the sake of argument I'm lumping them in the "faux United Kingdom style pub" category). Yes there have been one or two anomalies but in general the parmas at Irish pubs have been pretty mediocre across the board.

One time I remember being surprised at the quality of a parma at an Irish Pub was when we visited the P.J. O'Brien's at Melbourne Airport. It was a solid bird let down by disappointing sides, and far better than anything I would have expected to come out of a pub within an airport. Since that day part of me has always wondered "If the mini P.J's at the airport can produce something semi decent, surely the actual P.J's would be far better!

With St. Patricks day on Tuesday next week (aka. the most inconvenient day of the week to get drunk) we decided to kick things off a little early last night, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed to P.J. O'Brien's, Southbank.

If you've been into an Irish Pub in Melbourne then you pretty much know the deal at PJ's. Dark wood, dark furniture, random farming equipment strung up to the walls. There is a more sophisticated restaurant off the side of the main bar, but we decided to slum it and took our seats in one of the cosy snug's of the main area.

The beer selection is pretty bleak, if you're after anything fancier than a Fat Yak you're out of luck. Having said that, P.J's pours one of the prettiest pints of Guinness I have seen in my life - absolutely beautiful and a must try if you're a fan of the dark stuff.

Beers in hand we took a look at the menu -

If you're feeling like something a little off the wall there's also an "Irish Schnitzel" available, which is a schnitty with curry sauce - However the 6 of us remained traditional and went with the standard parma.

20 or so minutes later our meals arrived -

The schnitzel itself was probably the weakest part of the dish. Thick crumbs, thin chicken, the usual processed nonsense. It was cooked well, with no burnt or undercooked areas, however  around the table it was likened to a giant chicken nugget, not a parma. Unfortunately P.J's was not off to a great start.

The toppings were a mixed bag. They weren't tight with the ham and (although there wasn't 100% coverage) there was plenty of cheese that did its job just fine. The napoli wasn't applied evenly, leaving some areas bone dry and others swimming, but the sauce itself tasted like straight leggo's tomato paste.

Chips were also very "meh". Decent serving but they were completely unseasoned - They were saved from being totally beige by the addition of an unsolicited sauce pot for dipping. Sauce pots are a small, easy touch that is greatly appreciated, especially when you don't even have to ask.

The salad, like the chips, was also not winning any awards. Your standard garden salad of lettuce, onion, cucumber and tomato (although some of us got a lot of tomato, others got none). It was fresh, crisp and didn't taste bad at all - but it was a boring side to accompany a pretty boring meal.

If P.J. O'Brien's ran a special parma night and served up the bird they did with a pot? I could probably forgive a lot of the sins this parma was guilty of - but $19.50 and no parma nights that I can see isn't great for what we received.

I like P.J's, It's got a good vibe, and if I lived anywhere in the area I'd probably be dropping in on Tuesday night for a pint in the name of Saint Patrick. Don't ask me why but it reminds me of a pub you'd find in a Casino in Las Vegas (I think its the lack of windows). Dinner in the snug was a great way to enjoy a meal with mates - I just wish the parma had've been better. Other than the processed schnitzel no element of the dish was bad, it was just bland as hell without any standout elements. If they took a hint from their brothers in Tullamarine and used a real piece of chicken I'd have a lot less to complain about, but as it stands I'd rather visit the airport P.J's for a parma as opposed to the Southbank location.

[pros]

• Plenty of ham
• They know how to pour a great pint of Guinness
• Unsolicited sauce pots

[/pros][cons]

• Processed chicken
• Mediocre toppings
• Mediocre everything.

[/cons]

Parma - 3.67

Chips - 4.92

Salad - 4.00

Value - 4.50

Total - 4.15

The search continues...

Attempt #215 - 'The Elms Family Hotel'

[info]When? - 5th of March, 2015

Where? - 269 Spring St. Melbourne

Price? - $17

Website? - http://www.elmshotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Daniel, Emma, Lee, Matt[/info]

**EDIT**14/06/16 - Since this review went live the Elms Family Hotel has closed its doors due to the block being developed into apartments, This parma is no longer available but we'll keep the review live for posterity - A shame that we lost one of Melbourne's most unique pubs.

Here's a bit of troubling news about our search for the perfect parma - We're running out of pubs in the city. It's nothing to be too worried about, our "parmas to try" list is still over 100 pubs long, but of that list only  about five are in what I'd consider to be in the CBD. Sure new pubs are opening every day, there are probably heaps I don't know about and there are always redo's - but its still kinda troubling!

So when I had a hankering to head into the city for parma night this week pickings were slim, but after a bit of time on google maps I spied our target - Elms Family Hotel.

The pubs website doesn't give much away in terms of what to expect when walking into The Elms, So we were really going in blind on this one. Upon entering the pub I was absolutely floored. I've said in previous reviews of pubs around Melbourne that the venue is "like a country pub", but Elms Family Hotel absolutely takes the cake.

I honestly don't know how this pub has survived so untouched in so long. It's a complete anomaly, Elms Family Hotel looks like it hasn't had a thing changed about it since the mid 60's (with the exception of a couple of new TV's). I'm not saying its a bad thing, I love it, its just so surreal being able to sit in a pub and forget you're in the middle of Melbourne. You could just as easily be in Mildura and not be able to tell the difference.

The selection of beers are exactly what you'd expect from a country pub, just the staples - VB, Carlton and I think I saw a Fat Yak tap. There was a fridge with a small selection of bottles and Crown Lager stubbies were on special for $6 - It may have been a small selection but every pint they pulled was ice cold and delicious. It's also worth mentioning that there is a cosy smokers area/beer garden out the back and some tables & chairs on the street for curbside bevvies.

We ordered our parmas at the kitchen window and moved around the corner to the spacious bistro.

That's a grab of the menu from the website - note that since the site was updated the price of the parma has raised to $17.00. Damn inflation!

The parmas arrived quickly - no more than 10 minutes after we ordered we were presented with our meals...

The schnitz was probably the weakest part of the dish, It had a decent circumference but the chicken was quite thin with a thick layer of crumbs. The crumbs had soaked up the majority of the napoli sauce leaving them a bit of a soggy mess. It was processed to the max, but on the plus side it was well cooked. Golden brown and not burnt.

As I mentioned 90% of the napoli was soaked into the crumbs, so I didn't really get to taste it.

There was no ham but plenty of cheese - Which was probably the best element of the parma - It was cooked perfectly and stayed un-rubbery the entire meal.

Props to The Elms for serving their chips beside the parma. They were fish & chip shop style, well cooked and very well seasoned with chicken salt giving them a great flavour - The chips were probably my favourite thing on the plate

The garden salad was basic, but fresh and crisp - plenty of dressing and not short on ingredients. It was a little small but it did its job adequately.

$17 is a bit steep for a processed parma. I don't think I would partake again at full price. There is a $12 parma & pot lunch special on Monday to Wednesday, 12 till 2, That'd be the only time I could recommend giving it a crack for a quick & cheap feed.

I respect the hell out of The Elms Family Hotel for sticking to their guns and maintaining the "country pub" feel. I don't think any pub I have visited in Melbourne does it better. I hate giving pubs I like a bad review, but if you're ever in the area be sure to stop in for a beer and enjoy the trip back in time (no DeLorean required).

[pros]

• Fresh, crisp salad
• Delicious seasoning on the chips

[/pros][cons]

• Processed, soggy schnitzel
• No ham, undetectable napoli

[/cons]

Parma - 3.83

Chips - 4.33

Salad - 3.17

Value - 4.67

Total - 3.97

The search continues...

Attempt #214 - 'Junction Beer Hall & Wine Room'

[info]When? - 26th of February, 2015

Where? - 15 Hall St. Newport

Price? - $23

Website? - http://junctionnewport.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

For parmas this week I opened up our map and thought to myself "where haven't we been", keeping an eye out for what I have dubbed "blackspots" - Suburbs in which we have yet to do a parma review.

For some reason my eye was drawn to the west of Melbourne. We've done a few in Williamstown, and a couple in Footscray, but there is a substantial gap in between. I checked the list of suggested parmas to see if we have any in that area that we haven't tried and...

I found the Junction Beer Hall.

I knew absolutely nothing about this pub going in, To be honest I hadn't even heard of the suburb of Newport before this week (I've lived a sheltered life, okay?). But looking at the website it seemed like my kind've place. We loaded up the parma bus, fired up google maps and headed to Newport.

If you frequent the trains on the Werribee or Williamstown lines you will know the Junction as the pub directly across the road from Newport Station. From outside it looks like your standard pub - but I was delighted to find that inside they've done a spectacular renovation, transforming this massive area into an impressive bar. With a beer hall on one side, a gorgeous courtyard in the middle and a calm, elegant wine bar. The night we were there was the Beer Banter special event, so we opted to have our parmas in the comfy and spacious booths of the more subdued wine room.

We quickly checked the menu, spied our target -

... and placed our order.

Shortly after ordering we were delivered some piping hot baguette slices for the table - off to a fantastic start.

Now the beer list in the main bar is phenomenal. 18 rotating craft beers on tap and a book of over 70 local and international beers by the stubby. In the wine room things are a little more focussed on (you guessed it...) the wine list, with only a few tap beers available (Some selections from the Two Birds range was on tap the night we ate. Bantam IPA and Sunset ale if memory serves - no complaints here). The food menu is the same between rooms.

We polished off the complimentary baguette and flatbread with tzatziki entree, both delicious. Shorty after that the main event arrived from the kitchen -

As soon as it hit the table I knew it was going to be quality. Every schnitzel around the table was uniquely shaped so you know its real chicken. The breast was thick and crispy and the crumbs carried a perfect crunch. Some parts of the chicken were slightly dry - but thats a very minor complaint.

What it lacked in circumference it more than made up for in thickness, this was a deceptively big bird that left nobody at the table hungry. When it comes to schnitzels this parma was ready to play with the big boys.

The toppings were solid. The mozzarella was on point and the ham carried a fantastic flavour that wasn't lost in the dish (although the menu on their website advertises prosciutto, which was missed, that needs an update).

The napoli was rich and flavoursome but it wasn't very well distributed on the schnitzels, some areas were dry while others were swimming in a saucy pool. A bit of consistency would've been great.

This is how you should do chips. A massive serving of beer battered beauties, cooked to crunchy perfection and not being smothered by the parma. They could've used a tad more seasoning but salt pots on the table made short work of that issue - If they had've served them with a pot of aioli or sauce on the side it would've put them over the edge.

The salad was perfectly serviceable, but probably the weakest part of the dish. Leafy greens in a tasty dressing. I enjoy onion in my salad and I only got a single sliver while others got more, so luck of the draw on that one. Everything was fresh, it just didn't wow me like the rest of the meal did. Nothing bad, but nothing amazing.

I'd gladly fork our $23 for this parma again, no question whatsoever. Checking their website there is currently no regular parma night listed, but to be honest I wouldn't need one. This parma gets my seal of approval, and its definitely worth putting on your list.

The Junction was an unexpected surprise, A pub for beer lovers by beer lovers. I wouldn't pick such a great craft beer spot to be nestled out in Newport of all places - Yet we have stumbled upon what I'd call the best craft beer spot in West Melbourne (that I have been to, please no angry emails). Do yourself a favour, dump the kids off at Scienceworks, and go check it out... Actually I take that back - Visit the Junction then go with your kids to Scienceworks. Scienceworks is a blast for all ages.

[pros]

• Amazing quality schnitzel, great tasting parma
• Fantastic beer battered chips
• Great range of craft beers

[/pros][cons]

• Parma could be a little dry at times, poor napoli distribution

[/cons]

Parma - 8.75

Chips - 8.38

Salad - 6.50

Value - 7.25

Total - 7.93

The search continues...