Special Attempt - 'The Laurel Hotel Mega Parma Challenge'

Where? - The Laurel Hotel, 289 Mount Alexander Road, Ascot Vale

Price? - $40 (for mega-parma, chips, salad and pint)

Website? - http://www.laurelhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

A few weeks ago it came to our attention that there was a new parma eating challenge in town. But this one was different to some of the others we have tried in the past - This challenge was offering a pretty substantial prize...

A years worth of free parmas to the person who downs this bird the fastest. Thats a spicy meat-a-ball!

We had visited The Laurel in the past, way back in 2010 it was the seventeenth parma we did, Now this week's challenge isn't about taste, so if you want a review of the regular parma I think the one linked there still holds up (although it looks like they've altered the chips since the last time we had it).

When I finished work on Thursday afternoon I was cocky, I was confident, I thought it would be a breeze! Feeling a bit peckish I made myself a vegemite sandwich to hold me over until 7 o'clock. It was a different time... so young and naive.

We arrived at The Laurel and took our seats, Four of us (Myself, Cale, Stefo and Dale) went for the Mega-Parma challenge, while reviewer Nikki did the sensible thing and got the regular parma. We were chatting to the chef afterwards and he said that the standard Laurel parma comes in at about 300g of chicken. The mega-parma is 1.5kg of chicken - For those terrible at math that means that a single mega-parma has the same amount of chicken as five standard parmas. We placed our orders and waited.

First thing to arrive was our assigned number -

Along with a form to fill out with our details, as well as an explaination of the rules (No getting up, no sharing, no hiding food, must finish parma, chips, salad and pint to be eligible, etc. etc. etc.) as well as a liability waiver if our stomach explodes after consumption. I was starting to get nervous at this point.

Before I show you the Mega-Parma, I'll show you the Laurels regular parma, purely for size comparison, This is what Reviewer Nikki was delivered...

This is what we got...

Its hard to comprehend just through pictures how big this bastard is. Thats a steak knife to the right, hopefully that can give you a little bit of perspective. It was big, that's all I will say. Underneath the parma was a healthy layer of chips, the salad was just a couple of lettuce leaves, good to break up the massive onslaught of chicken I was about to unleash on my body, but small enough to be insignificant in terms of stomach real-estate.

Cale, Stefo and Dale ready to go. This photo kind've puts them in perspective. It's bigger than Dale's head

The waitress came over, collected out waivers and set up four stop watches. We asked how quickly we had to eat it to make it onto the leaderboard, she said the current fastest time is 7 minutes and 30 seconds, completed by professional eater and friend of Parma Daze Hungry Haydo - This man is a champion of food consumption, you can check out his YouTube channel here. After 7:30 the times really open up - At the time of writing this to be in the top 6 and get into the finals you need to have a time of less than 28 minutes. That was enough to give me hope. I could do this. I could do this. I shouldn't have eaten that sandwich. I could do this.

The stopwatch starts at the time of the first bite. Ready? Go.

It was so. much. chicken.

My strategy was to go fast, be done before my stomach knows that its full - I've heard that works. So I hoed in. On cutting in I realised something, this parma wasn't only huge - it was thick. Fluctuating throughout the parma, of course - but there were plenty of areas that cracked the inch thickness mark.

The first few mouthfuls flew, but by about forkfull eight or nine I started to slow. This was gonna be harder than I thought, not just because I was getting full, but the constant onslaught of chicken after chicken started to get to me. I switched it up, a sip of the pint, a couple of chips, a bit of salad, then chicken. This kept me going for a while as it broke up the monotony a little, this worked for a while but then I realised my mistake - the pint.

Water would have been fine, but the carbonated pint brought on the burps, and when you're trying to focus to put as much stuff in to your stomach as possible the last thing you want is having to stop and let air out.

I kept my eyes on the time, When the 7 minutes and 30 second mark (the current time to beat) ticked past I was about a quarter of the way through and already feeling quite full, It was around this time that It dawned on me that I wasn't going to finish. I slowed up, snacked on some chips, and kept at it.

By twelve minutes I was done. Admitting defeat I wiped my mouth and threw the napkin on top of the parma (the universal sign for 'get this fucking food away from me')

At the end my plate looked like this -

There was still a full parma there, at least.

As for the cross section, I sliced what I had left down the middle (down the shortest edge) and put a fork on top for perspective , you can see the layer of chips beneath and the multi-layers of ham on top, this wasn't the thickest section of the schnitzel either - It got much thicker in other areas.

Slowly but surely, Cale and Stefo admitted defeat. Yet hope was not lost - Reviewer Dale was still going strong, He was our last hope ... Could he complete the challenge and save our dignity?

He pushed on, slowly but surely he worked his way through the parma. He had probably half-a-parma to go (around the 30 minute mark) by this point when he could take no more. Dale through in the napkin and we all admitted we were beaten.

So close... yet so far.

Reviewer Nikki couldn't even finish her regular sized parma, probably for the best that she didn't try the challenge.

If you reckon you can take it on, I'd say give it a go... You'll feel terrible for a few hours afterwards and you'll probably shit the bed, but definitely give it a go. The $40 entry fee covers the parma, chips, salad and pint - thats a pretty good deal considering the amount of food you're getting.

If you want to give it a go yourself the competition is open until the 21st of December, Although I'd advise not leaving it till the last day as the finals are being held on the 22nd of December (you won't have to shell out another $40 for the finals, if you make it into the top 6 the finals are a freebie). Full details at The Laurel's Website. A years worth of free parmas is a great incentive.

If you wind up trying the challenge yourself, be sure to tweet us with your victory photo and thoughts on how it went! I'm curious to see everyone else's experience.

At the time I regretted it, but I'm glad I did it. I'd recommend going and trying it out, or at least convincing your mate to give it a go and laughing at his pain, as all good mates do.

I really shouldn't have had that sandwich.

The search continues...

United States of America #3 - 'The Australian'

[info]When? - 18th of July, 2013

Where? - The Australian. 20 W 38th St #1  New York, NY

Price? - $18 USD, $20 USD if you want it "Victorian Style" (with ham)

Website? - http://www.theaustraliannyc.com/

Reviewers – Grace, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Tony [/info]

It has become a bit of a tradition that whenever I go overseas I find a parma (or the closest approximation of a parma that I can find in the area) and give it a review, In the USA we've found a lot of "Chicken Parmesan", but never a good old fashioned parma.

Americans have an odd take on the parma (odd from our perspective anyway) as you will see from reading our last two attempts in the USA, the "chicken parmesan" sticks a lot closer to its Italian roots than it does to the classic Aussie pub meal we have come to know and love. Served almost exclusively in Italian restaurants, the parmesan consists of a schnitz, coated in napoli (or "marinara" sauce) a little bit of cheese (usually just a sprinkle of parmesan, hence the name) and served with a side of napoletana pasta. Its different, it can be tasty, but its not a Parma.

Regular readers will know that I recently took a few weeks off the parma hunt for a trip overseas. Over the course of 3 weeks we visited Vegas, Montana, New York, LA, San Fran and Hawaii - yet over that three weeks I only managed to get one parma on the books. Luckily It was a classic Aussie parma, found in the most unlikely of locations. New York City.

We got to New York about halfway through the trip - So I was definitely jonezing for a parma at this point - Not just a parma, but also an escape from the constant onslaught of America. I love the USA but sometimes you just need to escape. Before we left I had heard about this pub called "The Australian" in New York City, an Aussie themed pub in the middle of New York. I was pumped. We dropped off our bags and headed to the garment district.

I was a little worried while walking to The Australian that it wasn't going to be real Australian, Anyone who has been to Outback Steakhouse will know exactly what I mean, Outback is about as Aussie as Bridie O'reilleys is Irish, actually, its worse than Bridies, as Bridies actually tries somewhat to have faux irish cuisine on the menu. Anyway, I've gotten off topic.

We arrived at The Australian and were greeted with an Aussie accent - a great sign. The pub is cosy, narrow and deep with a bar running along the front and opening up to tables out the back. With heaps of TV's lining the walls, all playing AFL -  You could easily forget that you were halfway around the world from home.

It was time for food, Looking at the menu was a breath of fresh air - all of the food was authentic Aussie cuisine, from wedges, meat pies, sausage rolls and even possibly the only chicko roll served in the entire USA. We spied our target -

Of course, we went "Victorian Style" and got the extra slice of ham.

While waiting for our food we kicked back, watched a bit of footy, and honestly forgot that we were in New York City for awhile - It was a fantastic experience.

Then the moment came, our parmas arrived...

It was a real parma! after weeks consisting entirely on burgers, nachos and onion rings I finally had a real parma sitting in front of me! Without hesitation I tucked in. It was so damn good I started humming Advance Australia Fair as I ate.

The schnitzel was pretty sizable, a little overcooked but nothing to complain about, there was plenty of cheese, napoli and ham, which all carried their flavour perfectly and worked well with each other. It wasn't overcrumbed, it wasnt underseasoned. Other than some slight nudity around the edges and the aforementioned overcooking It was a damn good parma. I'd definitely recommend it "Victorian Style", ham is the way to go.

There was a big pile of steak chips, well cooked and set beside the parma as opposed to under it - They were pretty unseasoned when they arrived, but moments after dropping off the parmas our very friendly Aussie waitress then delivered a few bottles of tomato sauce, which made everything better.

The garden salad was a bit of nothingness, but it did its job perfectly, Lettuce, tomato, onion, carrot and a mustard-seeded dressing, it was nothing to write home about, but it was nothing to complain about either.

I really enjoyed the parma, and for $20 USD plus tip its definitely worth giving a go - I may be a little biased in this review as we were rather parma-starved and possibly a little homesick at the time of consuming it, but you know what? Any pub that goes this far to properly represent Australian culture in a faraway land definitely deserves extra points in my book.

The Australian is an Aussie ex-pats dream. They open early when there's a big Aussie sports game on to show it live, and (from what I can see on their twitter) they throw a kick-ass Australia Day party. If I ever wound up living in New York my choice of apartment would definitely be influenced by proximity to The Australian. If ever you find yourself in the city that never sleeps, be sure to stop in and say G'day.

Oh, And for desert we had Tim Tams and Ice Cream. Something I've never had in Australia, but it just felt so right...

The search continues...

Attempt #154 - 'The Castle Hotel: Redux'

[info]When? - 29th of August, 2013

Where? - The Castle Hotel. 56 Courtney St. North Melbourne.

Price? - $20

Website? - http://www.thecastlehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Tony, Stefo[/info]

It's Redo week! Where we find a pub that feels harshly done by and give them another shot. This week we had The Castle Hotel in our sights, A pub we visited just shy of 100 parmas ago (check here to read about the last time we stopped in)

First things first, since we last went to The Castle there has been some major changes. New owners, new management, new menu, new parma, and even the pub itself has had a funky facelift.

I always liked The Castle as a pub - it's in a great location and has a fantastic vibe inside. With plenty of room in the dining area, a less formal lounge area for bar snacks and a spacious sports bar with big screen, pool tables and a couple of couches - Which is why I was so bitterly dissappointed with the parma we tried last time. Hoping that they've lifted their game, we checked the menu -

Nice, simple, straight to the point, The first good sign there was some change, as compared to the menu last time around -

Not that I'm against creative menu descriptions, but that menu wrote a cheque that The Castle couldn't cash, if memory serves I described the previous parma experience akin to eating a pair of beige pants. Not the best.

We placed our orders and awaited the arrival of our dinner. I sauntered over to the bar to get my next pint and had a gander of the beers available. As far as selection goes not too shabby at all - They've got Ten different taps going at the Castle (9 beer, 1 cider) as well as a selection of over 40 bottled beers and ciders - with a major Belgian influence - It'd be a hard person to please who couldn't find a beer to tickle their fancy at The Castle Hotel.

There was a bit of a wait for the meals, I was more than 3/4 through my freshly poured pint before our meals came from the kitchen - There's the old saying "good food takes time to prepare". God I hope that held true.

As is standard with Redo Week - first lets take a look at the parma last time around...

And now ... The new one -

Now thats a parma.

The schnitzel itself was thick, juicy and hand crumbed. worlds ahead of the processed lump we got last time. Gone was the slice of ham (unfortunately) but there was plenty of perfectly melty cheese and fresh, flavoursome napoli on top. It was served piping hot, fresh and delicious. The ham was definitely missed, A bit of pig would have really added some 'oomph' to this parma and elevated it from 'great' to 'fantastic'.

One of the best redo comebacks we've seen for sure, it wasn't perfect... But this is what we want from Redo Week.

The cross section after-photo didn't come out so great, steam from the parma fogged up my lens and I didn't realise till after I had polished it off, but you can kinda see the difference with this before and after shot -

much better

The chips were also better. There were heaps of them and like the parma they were hot and crunchy, I also detected a bit of chicken salt on there, I would have been happy with just that, and then the waitress brought us a round of individual sauce pots. Bonus!

The salad is where this parma fell over. Gone was the side-bowl (one of the only things the previous version did right). Some lettuce that was over-dressed yet somehow remained dry, a few slivers of onion and some tomato - There were reports of cucumber as well but that wasn't consistent around the table. A bit disappointing after the first two elements did so well, but you can't win them all.

For $20 I cannot complain about the Castle's new parma. I'd happily return and pay that again with no complaint at all. I saw a few burgers coming out of the kitchen as we were awaiting our parmas and they looked amazing - definitely worth checking out.

The parma was fresh, the chips were tasty but the less said about the salad the better. There is still room for improvement at the castle (ham please!) but overall this is a damn good parma and a hell of an improvement from what it was, I have absolutely no qualms recommending you give this place a go.

Parma - 7.36

Chips - 6.29

Salad - 4.93

Value - 7.14

Total - 6.61

The search continues...

Attempt #153 -'The Cricketers Arms'

[info]When? - 22nd of August, 2013

Where? - The Cricketers Arms, 69 Cruikshank St. Port Melbourne.

Price? - $23

Website? - http://www.thecricketersarms.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Tony, Stefo[/info]

**EDIT** Just got word that the owners sold the pub and it shut doors on June 28 2016, and that the Cricketers is currently closed for renovations ... Stay tuned for more info once it re-opens!

The Cricketers Arms call themselves "Port Melbourne's best kept secret" - and I don't think they're too far off.

If you went purely from the unassuming exterior you would expect nothing more than a quiet backstreets local with a collection of regulars sipping on after-work pots while keeping an eye on the TV. And if you stop at the front room of the Cricketers thats exactly what you will find.

However if you push through the public bar, out the back you will find a gorgeous little dining room, beautifully furnished and serving some damn good looking meals - beyond that is the expansive courtyard, complete with outdoor bar, retractable roof (with plenty of heaters for poor-weather evenings) and plenty of seating. Seeing the dichotomy between the front bar and the back area is definitely worth the visit alone.

The Courtyard

We arrived at the Cricketers and took our seats out in the beer garden, I was worried that the poor weather would leave us cold and damp, however with the retractable roof and abundance of heaters you could easily forget you were outside at all.

Shortly into our first pint a lovely couple came to our table, selling tickets to a meat tray raffle - I loved this,  (although we didn't win) it added some entertainment to the night, as well as gave the place a fantastic inviting country pub feel.

Before ordering we realised that Thursday night at The Cricketers is "Spit roast night", I couldn't help but felt left out as hungry patrons lined up at the spinning meat, loading their plates high with goodies (a full range of sides, roast potatoes, corn, bread rolls etc). It looked phenomenal, however we were there for one thing. (**EDIT** Just found out that the Spit Roast Night is no longer a thing, oh well! Good thing the parma was great. Is that a spoiler? oh well, yeah... its pretty awesome.)

We placed our order with the friendly bar staff (everyone who worked at the cricketers was great. The staff were welcoming, in high spirits and happy to have a laugh with the patrons - great to see in a place like this)

I picked up a bottle of "Cricketers Arms lager" from the outdoor bar and we awaited the arrival of our dinner. As my empty stubby hit the table our meals arrived.

It was a little dark at the table, I shifted across to a more well lit area and tried to snap a better shot - Neither turned out stellar, but its the best I could get on the night.

I'm always a fan of quality over quantity in my parmas, and the parma at the Cricketers is definitely one of those. The schnitzel, while not being massive, was the paramount of quality. Hand crumbed and herbed, pure chicken breast - probably the juiciest parma we have come across to date!

There was quite a bit of schnitzel nudity, which is probably the only negative to the dish - the toppings were amazing (which I will get to in a moment), and although the schnitzel itself was delicious on its own I would have loved to have enough toppings to cover it all.

The napoli was fresh and tasty, the 4 cheese mix was inspired, carrying a fantastic flavour through the parma and the choice of pancetta instead of straight ham is inspired. - it added just enough flavour so you knew it was there, but didn't overpower the dish - a risk that is often run when using a different cured meat, such as prosciutto.

This was an outstanding parma with only a couple of very minor issues, however the good absolutely dwarfs the bad leaving a parma you'd be silly not to try.

The beer battered & herb dusted chips were almost as good as the schnitzel. Pure chip perfection that I didn't want to end. The starter's menu offers the same chips with a choice of gravy, garlic aioli or mustard mayo - it'd be worth the visit just for these.

Compared to the rest of the meal the salad was a little uninspired. It was of a higher quantity than most of the garden salads we come across (the shaved carrot was a lovely touch) but in the end it was still just a garden salad.

For $23 I was more than happy with the meal we received. Compared to last week's lukewarm garbage that ran at $22 this dish is manna from heaven. There is a $15 parma night that runs on Wednesday's that is definitely worth checking out, although I cannot attest to how the cheaper variety compares to the full priced version.

I unashamedly love this pub, a quaint little backstreets local that I could see visiting regularly if I didn't live on the opposite end of Melbourne. There's so much more I want to try on return visits - The spit roast, the bowl of chips, the steak sandwich... hell everything on the menu looks appetising!

"Port Melbourne's best kept secret" isn't far off...

Parma - 8.69

Chips - 8.56

Salad - 6.60

Value - 7.31

Total - 7.97

The search continues...

Attempt #152 - 'Browns Corner Hotel'

When? - 16th of August, 2013

Where? - Browns Corner Hotel. Corner Sydney Rd. & Bell St, Coburg

Price? - $22 (see review for clarification)

Website? - http://www.brownscornerhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Fridge, Janet, Kylie, Lee, Nikki, Tony, Shanan, Stefo

UPDATE - 19/10/18 - WE REVISITED BROWNS 5 YEARS LATER TO SEE IF THE PARMA HAD IMPROVED. CHECK OUT THE NEW REVIEW HERE!

After a 3 week break from the hunt for the perfect parma I was absolutely hanging to get out to the pub last night, there was no Facebook poll the week before so Browns Corner Hotel was picked purely out of proximity from everyone's houses - Didn't really want to dive into a long hike the first week back, and being on the corner of Bell St and Sydney Rd its a pub I've passed quite a few times and always been curious about.

When it comes to different prices for the same parma I think Browns takes the cake, It wasn't until we took a seat in the Bistro that we noticed this, but Browns has quite a few different charges for their parmage. $22 in the bistro, $18 in the sports bar, $14 in the sports bar on Thursdays (the night we were there) and a $10 parma night on Monday night - We have found a few pubs that puts out a sub-par parma in the sports bar/cheaper areas, so we decided to spend the extra few bucks and eat in the bistro just in case - I really wanted a good parma this week.

The pub itself is pretty standard 'family pub' fare. Main bar, Bistro, Beer Garden and small Pokies area. The Main bar looked spacious and inviting, with a few pool tables for entertainment (as well as a QuizMeisters Trivia running on Thursday night that we didn't partake in). Not much creativity  in the way of beers on tap. Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Bulmers, VB. The usual suspects.

Checked the bistro menu to confirm...

And placed our order at the Bistro, also going for an entree of bruscetta as a bit of a pre-game... Although I don't think you can actually call it an "entree" when it arrives at the same time as the nine parmas we ordered (it actually arrived between parmas 6 and 7)

My heart sank. I was hanging for a good parma this week and from first glance this wasn't it. My parma (pictured above) had more cheese than the others, some having what looked like a poker-chip sized dollop in the middle of a splash of napoli.

They used real chicken in the schnitzel, it was a good thickness and conservatively crumbed - but thats where the positives end.

Somehow, despite a lot of nudity, The schnitz remained soggy and was very undercooked - bearing the colouring of a piece of grilled fish, yet was still rather dry. Light on the toppings, what was there was so bland I think a coaster would have carried more flavour. The cheese, the ham and the napoli were all a non-event. Even the single basil leaf I found underneath my ham did very little to add any flavour at all. I think everyone at the table reached for the salt and pepper shakers in a vain attempt to bring this bird back to life.

Worst of all, it was cold. I'd say lukewarm at best - Our table in the bistro was right in front of the kitchen and I could see our parmas sitting under the heat lamps for quite a few minutes before being brought to our table - yet somehow it still remained tepid. Very disappointing for the first parma back.

The chips were actually quite good, probably the saving grace of the whole meal. Beer battered, golden brown and crunchy. A little under seasoned but not criminally so, If they had've been beside a better parma they would have been a fine accompaniment to the dish - however when your chips are the best thing on the plate you know something has gone horribly wrong.

The salad, Like the parma, was boring. Garden salad with lettuce, cucumber, tomato and a splash of balsamic that was partially killed from its time under the heat lamps . Normally when I've got a flavourless parma I can pick some onion out of the salad and put it on the parma to give it a bit of a kick (there's a life-trick for you!) but in this case the salad wasn't even good for that.

For $22 I feel ripped off. If the parma had've been the same in the sports bar for $14 I still would be disappointed, but not as angry. The parma we received would have been passable for $10 parma Monday, but just barely (a free pot would help). If Browns wants to charge $22 for a chicken parma they've really got to lift their game.

The parma at Browns Corner Hotel is a bland, dry, expensive, lukewarm mess (I was going to call it a "hot mess" but that almost seems like a compliment). It pains me to see a quality piece of schnitzel destroyed like that - So much potential wasted. It would take a lot of convincing to get me to go back there again, especially with so many other outstanding options on Sydney Road - Its not often that I expressly say not to go to a pub for a parma, but its definitely safe to give this one a miss.

Parma - 2.57

Chips - 4.57

Salad - 2.21

Value - 2.36

Total - 2.86

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'Subway Chicken Parmigiana Melt'

According to my itinerary, at the time this post goes live I will be in California, either on my way to Disneyland or driving between LA and San Francisco. I bet the parmas suck.

If you read last week's post you know the drill, I'm out of town for 3 weeks and I'm banking these posts ahead of time so you, faithful reader, aren't left in the cold while I'm off on an international jaunt with a hefty chunk of the review team. So I'm not wasting one of Melbourne's fine parma-producing institutions on a half-arsed quicky review I'm taking this opportunity to check out the "kind've parmas", the ones not deserving of a fully-fledged parma review yet at the same time shouldn't be completely ignored.

Which brings us to Subway.

[youtube id="Je0W5-p9Hh4" width="580" height="337"]

As the commercial above states, these days the Subway sandwich shop does a chicken parma sub. Now I'll say from the get-go that, although I love a bit of Subway, I've never been a fan of chicken parma sandwiches - something about the mixture of napoli sauce and bread just doesn't go together properly. But hey, the commercial looks good, lets give it a go.

I entered the empty store at about 6pm (I've always considered Subway a lunch food and not a dinner food, so that doesn't really surprise me) Everyone who visits Subway regularly has their standard ordering procedure locked into their brain. They know what they like and how to order it (Italian herbs & cheese bread, chicken fillet, lettuce, onion, olives, jalapenos and ranch sauce with salt & pepper) So I can't actually remember the last time I looked at the menu - standing there, looking like a complete Subway n00b, I spotted the "Chicken Parmigiana Melt" and approached the sandwich construction station.

Seeing as I was inspired by the commercial, I tried to keep my order as close to what the guy in the ad has possible. Starting with a 6-inch Italian herbs and cheese base I shuffled down the line. The first thing that struck me was that a different chicken fillet is used for the parma than a regular subway chicken fillet - I was completely unaware that Subway stocked chicken schnitzels these days - but like I said, I rarely look beyond my standard order. This was a bit of a disappointment, as I love Subway's chicken fillets - but I didn't want to deviate too far off menu, so I stuck with what she gave me.

Chicken fillet, cheddar cheese, napoli (or marinara sauce, as apparently we're American) toasted.

Hold on... Where's the melt? My 'Chicken parmigiana melt' had no mozzarella on it, nor was I asked if I wanted mozzarella - When asked if I wanted cheese, I said yes, she responded "Cheddar, Old English or Swiss" I chose cheddar and just assumed that, as I ordered a chicken parmigiana melt that the mozzarella cheese was kind've a given. I didn't notice until it was out of the toaster that there was no mozzarella - oh well, Moving on to salads.

Again, keeping with the commercial I kept it simple - Lettuce, onion, cucumber and olives (in the ad they had tomato slices as well, but I'm not a fan of raw tomato so I omitted it from my "interpretation").

No extra sauce on top other than the napoli, a bit of salt & pepper and I was done! out the door with my freshly toasted chicken parma sub - In & out the door in about 4 minutes flat, a good turnaround time if this turns out to be a decent sandwich.

Wrapped up tightly

I got it home and began the photoshoot, Unwrapping it revealed the napoli had leaked quite a bit, leaving quite the mess on the paper...

The finished product

I'm not sure how long it was under the toaster, but it can't have been more than twenty seconds - hardly enough time to melt anything, however it was still quite warm, even after the 3 minute trip from Subway to my Apartment.

For research purposes I deconstructed the sandwich to get a proper look at what we were dealing with...

The layers of the sub, salad-wise it was a bit sparse down one end and packed on the other, with no regard for proper salad distribution! (gosh!)

 Two slices of ham, a squirt of napoli, not a lot of cheese, a surprisingly large schnitzel fillet and some very poorly distributed salad. That's what we are working with here. I closed her up, sliced it in half for the below cross section photo, and tucked in.

It actually doesn't look too bad from this pic

I was quite surprised with how thick the schnitzel fillet was, but that's about where the positives end - Processed to the max, it had the consistency of a giant frozen chicken nugget that has spent 2 minutes in the microwave. It didn't taste particularly bad at all, but even compared to the regular subway chicken fillet the schnitzel is about as tasty as a moist sponge. Speaking of sponges - I have no idea where the napoli went. Other than a red tinge to the top of the schnitz there was no sauce to be found, it had all soaked into either the crumbs below or the bread on top, either that or ... Ya know ...

The ham was tasteless, the cheese was tasteless (I should've gone with old english or swiss, cheddar is just boring) and the schnitz was tasteless - when the most interesting flavour in the sandwich is the cucumber you know you're in trouble.

Actually, I can't really fault them on the salad - the lettuce, cucumber and onion were all crisp and fresh, and when I got to the end where all the olives were they actually tasted pretty good.

The Subway chicken parma sub is a whole lot of nothing. Tasteless processed meats stacked atop each other and squished into bread - If you swapped out the spongey schnitzels for the infinitely tastier chicken fillets and added some bolder flavours (come at me, jalepenos) then it'd be salvageable - I suppose that's the good thing about Subway - if you don't like it you're free to change it!

Things should be back to normal next week, No more take-away parmas, we'll be back in the saddle with a fully-fledged parma review!

Special Attempt - 'Four n Twenty chicken parma pie'

photo (3)

I am typing this on Sunday the 23rd of June, if all goes to plan you will be reading it sometime towards the end of July - How is the future going? have we got those flying cars that fold into suitcases like on the Jetsons? That'd be awesome...

I'm hoping future me has already covered this on the Facebook or Twitter, but the reason I'm doing this is that for 3 weeks from late July to early August I'll be on holiday in the United States (tasting the best parmas our neighbours to the north have to offer, no doubt) So instead of regular reviews things are gonna be slightly different for the next couple of updates. I'm writing this review early and banking it for upload later.

I first heard about the Four N' Twenty parma pie around July last year, when a video surfaced on youtube, which has since been taken down :(

"That'd be on par with the chicken parmi down at the pub" says one of the blokes in the video. Hmmm. big call mate! (and I'll be kind and overlook his use of the word "parmi" instead of "parma" ... to each their own.

After seeing that vid I kept my eyes out for the Parma Pie - but to no avail. In the video they seem to be mostly outside the 7-11 on the corner of Bourke & Swanston st, yet every slev I visited in search for the parma pie had their own "Munch" brand of pies, and while I'm sure "munch" pies are tasty in their own right, they're not Four n Twenty. And they don't contain parmas.

After a while I had considered it a lost cause, the parma pie falling into legend - Until recently I noticed the occasional post on Twitter and Instagram of people taking photos of the fabled parma pie. They did exist - but from what I could gather, not in service stations - The Supermarket is where I should have been looking.

This morning I set out on a mission. My plan was to scour this fair city, Hit every 7-11, Shell, Safeway, Coles, IGA and Aldi that I could find until I found the parma pie. I vowed to not return home until I found one, I didn't care if it took me all day.

Luckily, I found them in the first supermarket I went to, Thanks Safeway!

photo (2)

$2.29 RRP or $1.85 with an everyday rewards card. Not too shabby! The first one had a tear in the packaging (as you can see in the photo) so I skipped that one, grabbed three others and headed home.

This is gonna be a picture heavy post - I know it's annoying to only have a sentence or so in between a wall of photos, but you're gonna have to deal with it. Cool? Cool.

photo (1)

The packaging is slightly different than the youtube vid, rather than that crinkly plastic you normally find on pies in a servo, these were in a thicker paper/plastic hybrid - the paper that is designed for microwave use, so that the pie itself doesn't go soggy when it goes 3 minutes in the radiation chamber.

The instructions state to open each end, then microwave for 3 minutes ...

photo (4)

The frozen pie, about to go in the microwave

photo (5)

The finished product

I was a little scared. Would it be any good? Could it be any good? Amazingly I had heard good things about the parma pie, all the mentions on Twitter seemed to cast it in a positive light.

It was bloody hot coming out of the micro, so I let it sit for a couple of minutes before tucking in.

 Rather than go in blind, I sliced to pie in half for a cross section, just to see whats going on in there...

photo (6)

Firstly, inside the pie there is a lot of sauce. a combination of napoli and cheese that manages to maintain a temperature hotter than that of molten lava, even after a few minutes posing for photos. Before cracking it open I was curious to see how they would pull off the "schnitzel" portion of a parma pie, and to be honest, their solution is quite ingenious...

photo (7)

Schnitzel balls! These are what make up the chicken in the chicken parma, the pie is full of little balls of chicken schnitz. I managed to extract one for closer examination (I put the coin in to give you some perspective on size...)

photo (8)

Freshly plucked from the pie

photo

Schnitzel ball cross section

First thoughts - Impressed! Four n' Twenty have actually put some thought into how to make a legit parma pie, after the photos were done I tucked in. And instantly burnt my lip ... fucking thing.

But third degree scaldings aside, It was better than I expected. It's not "on par with the chicken parmi at the pub" but their was plenty of napoli and melted cheese throughout. I thought I saw a couple of ham cubes (if they weren't ham cubes I'm clueless as to what they actually were), and the balls of chicken schnitz throughout were pretty good quality (processed, of course, but as good as processed chook can be) .

It's a messy pie to eat, the abundance of sauce and cheese was very "drippy" and left quite a few stains down my shirt by the time I was done - but luckily none of the schnitzel balls got away from me.

I wouldn't trade a proper parma for one of these things, but it was actually a damn tasty pie, and for only $2 it's damn hard to complain - for pocket change (less than a can of coke these days) I can pick up one of these, chuck it in the freezer and, should a parma craving strike unexpectedly, have it ready to go at a moments notice - It would definitely tide me over while on the way to the pub.

The other two remain in my freezer, I imagine they will be the perfect drunken snack when I get home after a night out enjoying a few refreshments. It won't beat a regular parma at the pub, but its definitely worth having around - If you see one on your next trip to the supermarket pick it up - for the price its hard to go wrong.

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'KFC Parmy Stacker'

Things are slightly out of order here, I wrote this review on the 18th of July, as a fill-in upload while I'm overseas for the next three weeks - however I wrote *next* week's review on the 23rd of June, but this one seemed more news-worthy than next week's as its a new burger so I've moved it up in the rotation. Got it? good. If you follow that you should watch Primer. Awesome movie.

I'll start this review by saying I am an absolute sucker for the 'limited time only' special burgers at fast food restaurants. From the El Maco to the Double Down to the Angry Angus - I cannot resist a special edition, and I'll always cave and have a go when the new menu addition rolls around.

So when the "Parmy Stacker" came to my attention I was torn, on one hand it was a special burger, but on the other hand it's a fast food parma burger ... could it possibly be any good? I resisted for a few days - however with my apartment being located no more than 50 metres from the entrance to a KFC my resolve did not last long. I had to bite the bullet. I had to try the Parmy Stacker.

Before I get into the burger experience itself, lets talk about the name. Parmy. Now in the 3 years I've been running this site I have tried my hardest to stay impartial on the whole "Parma vs. Parmy" debate, It's a regional thing - Victorians say Parma more often and South Australians tend to say Parmi with the other states flip-flopping between the two depending who you ask. To be honest I don't care - When it comes down to it what you get on the plate is the same, and I'm really not losing sleep that someone else pronounces a single letter of an abbreviated word different to how I do, It's like kicking up a stink that they call potato cakes "Scallops" in NSW... it just doesn't matter. However when I ordered "The Parmy Stacker" the guy at the counter repeated my order back as a "Parma stacker", which I enjoyed.

Anyway, on to the burger.

If you're heading in for a Parmy Stacker you're gonna be presented with a couple of options...

You can go the single or double schnitzel stack, and for an extra 70c you can add bacon. I was very tempted to go all out and get bacon, but I figured for the first go I'd see how it handles without the pork product, I ordered a large Parmy Stacker meal, with chips and a Mountain Dew.

Sidenote: How good is Mountain Dew? It's clearly the best soft drink on the market and I challenge anyone to try and prove me wrong.

Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made.

It's also worth noting (as you can see from the above menu) that you can swap out a burger from a burger box with a single-stack parma burger for $1 extra.

I ordered, got home, and looked at the burger before me -

It was a sizeable burger, before I unwrapped it it could be easily confused with a whopper, going only from weight and girth. I'd be interested to know if KFC are intending on keeping the parmy around as a permanent menu addition, as they seem to have put a lot of work into the packaging and advertising for the thing, and come to think of it the words 'limited time only' don't seem to appear on any of the posters. Hmm. Could it be here to stay?

I unwrapped the beast and took a couple of shots -

Angle 1 -

Angle 2 -

The schnitzels were well sized for a burger and of decent quality - the processed level was over 9000 but that is to be expected from KFC, yet at the same time probably the best fast-food schnitzel I've seen so far. Before tucking In I sliced it in half to get a good view of the insides via cross section -

Please ignore the action figures and Portal gun in the background... actually, don't ignore the Portal gun. It's awesome.

There's plenty of bird here. Not a whole lot of anything else, but plenty of bird. (lettuce? hello?).

I took a bite and was instantly let down, not by the burger itself, but due to the fact that it was stone cold. look at the cheese, it's not even remotely melted. The time from being handed the bag to taking my first bite was no more than 3 minutes, yet it tasted as if it had been sitting out for 20 minutes going on the temperature. I tried to put this aside and focus only on the taste.

There is heaps of napoli on this thing. Oh, actually, apparently napoli is called "Parmy Sauce" now according to KFC, although that might be a more apt description as it is possibly the sweetest napoli I have ever tasted, Mix some dolmio with a couple of tablespoons of maple syrup and you get the idea.

for processed schnitzel it's not that bad, I would say we've actually had worse with some real life parmas. There was only a dusting of lettuce below the burger, a far cry from the veritable salad on the promo image -

But this isn't my first rodeo, I turned Thirty a couple of weeks ago, I know not to expect anything resembling the promo image on fast food advertising.

The oatmeal bun wasn't terrible, if you've had the classic chicken burger from Hungry Jack's (Arguably the best fast-food chicken burger on the market) you'd know what its like. Like the Parmy Sauce it was quite sweet, but it did its job in getting the parma from the table to my mouth without getting my hands dirty, although it was slightly stale.

It was okay, but the lack of temperature really killed it for me, I ended up finishing the first half then sticking the second half in the microwave in attempt to shock some life into it, which worked reasonably well, there was hardly any lettuce to wilt and the semi-stale bun actually benefitted from 15 seconds in the hot box. I enjoyed the second half much more than I did the first.

All up it was a serviceable porta-parma. Albeit quite bland, if I could be assured it was hot, with a fresh bun and probably the addition of bacon then I could be persuaded to have it again, otherwise I'd probably stick to my standard Bacon & Cheese burger combo.

For $11.95 for a regular combo, more if you want bacon and a large combo, it gets a little pricey for what you actually get. We've had better parma night parmas for cheaper and much, much better.

I got this burger from the Essendon North KFC, and with Georges Hamburgers, Fish & Chips just down the road offering a solid take away parma for under $10 It'd be hard to justify going back to KFC if I had a parma craving.

I wouldn't say run out and get it now, but if you're at KFC getting a burger box then it'd be worth chucking in the extra $1 to switch one of the included burgers to a parmy burger, if only to merely to satisfy your curiosity - it's worth a try.

Attempt #151 - 'Pacinos'

 

[info]When? - 18th of July, 2013

Where? - Pacinos Italian Family Restaurant. 300 Epsom Rd, Flemington

Price? - $22.90, $10 Parma Monday

Website? - http://www.pacinos.net.au/

Reviewers – Carly, Dale, Fridge, Lee, Tony S, Stefo[/info]

Never have we tried a pub with a fan base as loyal as Pacinos. I'm a little bit intimidated writing this review as I don't want to piss off the masses and wind up with a brick through my window. You can't turn on the news these days without seeing another report of blog related homicide.

Oh well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow morning, so here goes...

It starting with the voting, on a regular week the results of our facebook poll looks something like this -

Pretty standard, and that is votes collected over the course of seven days.

However when it came to Pacinos, Minutes after I put the poll online, the votes came flooding in, and we ended up with a result that looked like this...

Pretty decisive if you ask me! So it was set. We loaded up the parma bus and headed to Pacinos. Now regular readers will know that our usual parma night is Thursday night ... that's pretty much set in stone, Yet in researching Pacinos before we headed down I discovered that their parma night is Monday night, and (at face value at least) its quite a deal, $10 parmas with 13 different novelty varieties to choose from - word on the grapevine is that they pump out over 400 parmas every Monday, thats a lot of chooks!

The novelty menu, for those that are curious...

But novelty parmas aside, we were after the real deal and the real deal alone - so Thursday night we arrived at Pacinos, rocking up at around 7pm the place was already packed, we took our seats, ordered a beer, grabbed a menu and spied our target...

We placed the order and awaited our dinner. The other food coming out of the kitchen looked pretty quality, so I had high hopes. It was a bit of a wait before the meals arrived, but nothing terrible (especially considering how busy the place was).

Just like the other food, this parma looked impressive! The massive bird took up a majority of the plate, completely eclipsing the chips below (more on the chips later, but rest assured I saved them from their steamy prison moments after the plates dropped).

It was a big schnitzel of real, unprocessed chicken of a pretty decent thickness. The crumbs were sparse and soggy but herbed, which added a little flavour but some crunch would have been nice. Although being big and unprocessed the chicken itself was a bit dry and stringy, but not distractingly so.

There was no ham, which is pretty much standard at an Italian restaurant, as they seem to go the more 'traditional' parmigiana as opposed to the pub-ified version. Although its not a requirement for a good parma a bit of pork would have done this dish wonders.

Half of my parma was completely devoid of napoli, coupled with the lack of ham meant I was eating basically cheesy schnitzel for a fair portion of it, however that picked up halfway through, as apparently all my napoli was hanging out down one end, that end was much better.

There was plenty of cheese, perfectly golden brown, nothing amazing but it did its job, its hard to find fault with cheese!

Taste-wise it was okay, if anything a little bland, a common trait when you get to parmas of this size (I call it BPS or Big Parma Syndrome - It was explained in more detail here)

If my parma weren't big enough, for some reason it had a little parma-baby attached to the side as a bonus, I was already stuffed by the time I got to it, but I forced it down, I didn't want the little guy to feel left out.

Now, On to the chips - They were completely hidden in the original photo, So I made sure to snap a pick once they were removed (you can see a clearer shot of the parma baby as well).

Great chips. Chunky beer battered steak chips that were perfectly cooked and had the crunch that the parma was missing. They reminded me a lot of the famous Bad Boy Chips from the Mail Exchange Hotel, If only they had've been a little more seasoned they would have been on par - but we all had to reach for the salt shaker a few times. The personal sauce pot was appreciated as well.

The salad was a bit boring. It was big, and a side bowl for salad is always a plus, but when it came down to pure ingredients there wasn't much to write home about, lettuce, onion, a sliver of cucumber and drizzled with some oil, not the best.

Pacinos serves up a big meal, for $22.90 you wont leave hungry and I'd be pretty happy to pay it again for what I got. The $10 parma night is an amazing deal, and I can see why they pump out so many parmas on a Monday, However if you look at Pacinos' Pinterest page they have quite a few photos of the novelty parmas available ...

Notice something? The chips are different!

I may be wrong, but it would appear that the amazing beer battered chunky chips are absent from the Monday night special, not a big deal, but the chips were one of my favourite parts of the Pacinos parma, so it's worth noting they might not be there on a Monday.

Yet even without the chips $10 is still a great deal, I'd definitely stop in and give it a go.

**EDIT** It has come to my attention since posting this review that the Monday special at Pacinos differs not only on the chips but on other aspects of the parma as well, So I'm stating for the record that this review and score only applies to the full price parma, not the Monday night special, which we have yet to try and/or rate.

Opinions were mixed on the Pacinos parma (as you can no doubt tell from the quotes) It isn't without its problems but all in all its a decent feed that is hard to take issue with, If you find yourself in Flemington its worth checking out - it'd be the perfect spot for lunch before hitting the Royal Melbourne Show in September.

Parma - 6.18

Chips - 7.25

Salad - 4.67

Value - 6.25

Total - 6.11

The search continues...

Attempt #150 - 'Prahran Hotel'

[info]When? - 11th of July, 2013

Where? - Prahran Hotel, 82 High St. Prahran.

Price? - $21 ($13 Steak & Parma night Tuesday & Wednesday)

Website? - http://prahranhotel.com/

Reviewers – Adam, Cale, Dale, Emma, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

150 parmas! Not quite as big of a milestone as 100 parmas, but worth acknowledging none the less. Hooray for us and thanks for reading! Couldn't have gotten this far without you guys.

Now, on to the pub.

The Prahran Hotel got off to a bit of a rocky start. Ffter taking out the facebook vote in a spectacular comeback, I called on Wednesday to secure our table for Thursday night (normally I book on the day, however I knew we'd have a few people and wanted to make sure we got a table).

I called the Prahran and made a booking, While on the phone the staff member told me "Oh we can fit in the halfpipe if you'd like!". She sounded enthusiastic so I accepted, not quite sure what the "halfpipe" was. Curious, I went to google and turned up this image -

Nice! The halfpipe is just that - half of a concrete pipe, fitted out with tables and suspended above the rest of the pub. Awesome, and fitting for an event such as parma #150. I told the rest of the review team - We were pumped.

However about 3 hours later I got a phone call. It was the Prahran Hotel.

Apparently, and I'm quoting here, "Someone with a gold card called and booked the halfpipe, so we wont be able to seat you there"

We'd been bumped. I accepted a table in the dining area and the call was over - I googled "Prahran Hotel gold card" and got no results ... something very fishy going on here. I mean I didn't really care, but at the same time its never nice to be told you aren't as important as the person who wants your table.

Thursday night rolled around and we rocked up at the Prahran. Wow. This has to be one of the best renovations I've seen in my life. The back room (the one with all the pipes) is absolutely spectacular, and a must see if you're a fan of Melbourne pubs - Completed by the same pub group that did the Richmond Club Hotel (which we tried a few weeks back) These guys have a stellar pedigree of revitalising run down pubs, and the Prahran hotel is no exception.

 I haven't seen a more impressive collection of pipes since Super Mario Bros. 3

I'm going to be referencing our review of The Richmond Club Hotel a fair bit from this point on, so if you haven't read it yet you might want to familiarise yourself, as there are a lot of similarities between the two pubs.

The first thing that both bars share is the concept of the "Karma Keg" -

Such a fantastic idea, too bad I've never been to one of these pubs on a Friday.

Secondly (and a little less awesome) is the concept of seating times, both the RCH and the Prahran have set seating times for dinner - a 6pm and 8pm sitting. This really throws a spanner in the works for our reviews as we've been doing parmas at 7pm sharp for the past hundred-and-fifty weeks. We arrived at 7, pulled up a pew in the public bar at the front and killed time till we were good to take our table, a few bowls of wedges went around which served as a solid pre-game to the main event, so it turned out to be less of an inconvenience than we had originally thought, but just something to keep in mind when you're planning your night.

8pm came around and we took our (non tube-shaped) seat in the dining room, picked up our menus and spied the target...

By this time I was starving so we placed our orders. I finished what was left of my pint (about half a pint, from memory) and went to the bar for a refill - by the time I returned the parmas were on the table.

Now not everyone's parma was shaped like an inverted Africa, that was just mine - the 7 other parmas on the table kept a traditional shape.

The schnitzel was decent quality. Juicy, unprocessed and appeared to be pan fried, the crumbs were thin and unobtrusive (although nothing special in the flavour department). Thickness-wise it was a mixed bag, with some parts looking like this -

and other parts like this -

I'm not sure if it was from the schnitzel or the napoli but there was a strong citrusy zest to the dish, I've got a feeling the schnitz was given a liberal squeeze of lemon juice before the other toppings went on, and that flavour really shone through. The ham and napoli were there, but quite bland and didn't add much to the dish at all.

I hope you like a lot of cheese as this parma had an overload. So much cheese that a couple of times I cut into what I thought was parma, but came out with only toppings. Heaps of cheese, which isn't necessarily a bad thing at all - but it was as bland as the ham & nap.

The chips were stellar. Perfectly cooked, beer battered and very well seasoned, crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside - I wanted more the moment I was done.

The salad was nothing too special, lettuce,cucumber, a tomato wedge and some slivers of onion with a creamy mustard dressing. It served it purpose but didn't do so with any particular style.

For $21 it didn't sting too badly for what we got, If I was at The Prahran again I'd consider having it again, but wouldn't go out of my way to get it. They run a $13 Tuesday & Wednesday parma night which would definitely be worth checking out, even if just to see the great renovations.

When we tried the parma at the Richmond Club Hotel our major complaint was that it was overcooked to the point of being burnt and dry - I think the Prahran parma is virtually identical when it comes to ingredients (especially in the case of the chips) but they were prepared with more care, the schnitz was succulent and juicy - no complaints in how it was cooked - Which put it ahead of the RCH in terms of score. It's not a bad parma by any means, but it lacks any flair that would make me want to recommend it to my friends, I'd say if you went on a parma night to have a look at the amazing establishment and a cheap feed you wouldn't be disappointed.

Parma - 5.38

Chips - 7.50

Salad - 5.44

Value - 6.44

Total - 6.03

The search continues...

Attempt #149 - 'Victoria Hotel'

[info]When? - 4th of July, 2013

Where? - Victoria Hotel, 380 Victoria St. Brunswick

Price? - $15 Parma n pot Thursdays, $17 other times.

Website? - http://vichotelbrunswick.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Dale, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo[/info]

I've  said it before, but I really need to start writing down how we come across these pubs. I feel bad that the person that took the time to suggest it doesn't get credited - oh well, you know who you are buddy! Cheers!

Anyway, somehow the Victoria hotel ended up on our list, it made it to the Facebook poll and got up. In my pre-attempt research into the pub I checked out their website (I always do, to get an address  phone number and confirm that there is actually a parma on the menu)

First up, the menu...

Parma... Check! Then the specials caught my eye -

Lovely We haven't had a good parma & pot deal for a while, Most cheap parma nights in Melbourne fall on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday (in an effort to get people in on the quiet nights) so a Thursday cheap parma is quite rare these days. Bonus. Lock it in. Load up the parma bus.

We arrived at the Victoria to quite an unusual sight - Apparently Thursdays in addition to being Parma Night are also "Go Go Dancing Night", taught by Anna's Go-Go Academy. $10 a sesh, while we didn't partake it was fun to watch, and it seemed like everyone involved was having a good time.

As you'd expect from a pub/backpackers there is no shortage of entertainment options at the Vic - with pool, jukebox, foosball, plenty of TV's and even a ping pong table you'd have to try hard to be bored. We walked past the GoGo'ers, through the dining area in the back and out to the beer garden. Although it was a horribly cold & windy night outside the high walls and abundance of heaters meant we were perfectly comfortable, and the roaring open outdoor fire was a great touch.

 Apologies for the Instagram filter, but doesn't that look cosy!

A few review members were still to arrive and we were hungry people, so we indulged in a pregame serve of cheesy herb & garlic bread. I forgot to grab a picture but it was a decision we didn't regret - We got a full plate of turkish bread slices with an abundance of garlic & herbs, plenty of cheese and a spicy dipping sauce - for only $4 you'd be silly not to start your meal with this quality entree.

Everyone arrived, we went to the bar and ordered our parmas, as promised it came to $15 with a free pot. Just lovely.

Before too long the parmas arrived from the kitchen...

Not bad! Not bad at all... 

Expectations were pretty low for a backpackers discount parma, but I was pleasantly surprised. For processed chicken breast it was of the highest quality (best of a bad thing, I suppose) - probably the thickest processed shnitz we've ever come across. The crumbs were nothingness and there was a fair bit of nudity but that's not that big of a complaint. The cheese, the ham and the napoli all carried their flavour quite well (although a touch more nap would have been appreciated). Not a stand out dish, but it was enjoyable and nobody left hungry - definitely better than I was expecting.

Now I forgot to take a cross section until I was 3/4 of the way through the parma, so don't take the below photo as any indication of thickness, just use it to appreciate the chicken quality and ingredients layers (the crumbs were thin, no attempt to hide credit card chicken under an inch of crumbs)...

The chips were good, fresh, crispy and plenty of them hiding under the parma (I removed them from their sweaty prison immediately after we got the dish). Could've used a bit more salt but thats a minor complaint, an all round solid accompaniment, on par with the rest of the dish.

If there's one way to get us to like a salad, it's to dress it well. The salad with the Victoria parma had plenty in it (lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber, mustard seeds, even some olives thrown in) and covered with a creamy dressing - it was very enjoyable and for a garden salad it was quite good. My one criticism would be, if you're going to put olives in a salad can you make sure they're pitted?  Nothing more annoying than having a collection of spat out olive seeds on the side of your plate while trying to enjoy a parma.

Great value here, $15 with a pot you can't expect the best meal, but the Vic turn out a quality bird for those on a budget. All of the meals on the menu are similarly priced - The garlic bread was especially good for the price (I've had worse GB at double the price).

This parma isn't going to win any awards, yet I don't think its trying to. Yes the chook is processed but for only fifteen bucks with a beverage you've got to cut them some slack - It's an honest meal for an honest price, sure it has it's faults but I'd have no problems dropping in on a Thursday night again if I were in the area. If I were paying full price ($17) I'd probably go elsewhere, but as far as a cheapo parma & pot deal goes it's one of the better ones we have come across. Victoria Hotel is definitely worth checking out if you're on a budget but craving a hit of parma and a game of ping pong (or a Go-Go dance).

Parma - 6.83

Chips - 6.42

Salad - 6.50

Value - 8.00

Total - 6.92

The search continues...

Attempt #148 - 'The Irish Times'

[info]When? - 27th of June, 2013

Where? - The Irish Times, 427 Little Collins Street. Melbourne.

Price? - $19.00

Website? - http://www.theirishtimespub.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Em, Lee, Matt, Stefo[/info]

The Irish Times is one of those pubs that I've known of for ages, been into very briefly a couple of times, but never really figured it as a place that does more than just a good pint of Guinness - Yet when it was suggested to us that we give their parma a go I wondered why we hadn't tried it before.

In the middle of the CBD, on Lt. Collins St. (between Queen and William) lies the Irish Times, or as I always thought of it - "The Irish pub with the massive flag out the front" - as hanging from the roof of the pub is an Irish flag that would give the Aussie flag at the *** roundabout a run for its money, size wise. I arrived a good hour before the rest of the group was due to rock up as I had neglected to book a table earlier in the day, and wanted to make sure I could secure one. Arriving at around 6pm on a Thursday I was blown away with how busy this place was ... I definitely wasn't expecting it, but it was almost shoulder to shoulder in the cosy pub, right back into the dining room. This was gonna be an issue, While formulating a plan I went to the bar and grabbed a pint. As I returned from the bar, pint in hand, like a miracle a table for 5 beside the door opened up. I swooped in before anyone else could take it and set up shop.

You know that scene in "Seinfeld" where Elaine has to hold the seats for everyone in a crowded movie theatre and has to fend off people trying to steal them?

[youtube id="xx4N8vGbs8I" width="580" height="337"]

This was my life for about 45 minutes last night, however I devised a plan, I grabbed a menu from the bar, downed my first pint and got another, then arranged the empty glass, my coat, and the menu around the table to give the illusion to anybody walking past that I was with a group of people, who were either in the dunny or at the bar at the time. Childish, I know, but worked like a charm.

Just after the group arrived the first little bonus of the night occurred - we were offered some mini spring rolls! Apparently they had free finger food circulating, I can't see a mention on the website as to why there was free finger food, It didn't seem like there was much of a special event on (and I don't think we wandered into a private function) but it was greatly appreciated none the less.

Once everyone arrived and stuffed into the cosy little corner by the window, someone suggested that we checked upstairs to see if there was any room up there. Upstairs? In my many beers at the Irish Times I'd never even registered that there was an upstairs, but sure enough there was (unbeknownst to me) a second, much roomier, level with its own bar, tables and massive screen TV. We scored a table, was (again) offered some free spring rolls and went to the bar to place our order...

We sat back down and awaited our parmas, it was much busier downstairs which gave us the ability to converse without shouting - much more conducive for dinner conversation, however the atmosphere of the Irish Times is great both downstairs and up - it feels like more of a genuine Irish Pub as opposed to some of the pretenders around that think if you paint the walls dark green, whack some farming equipment on the wall and pour a guinness on tap then you're an irish pub. It had a good feel and it'd definitely stick out in my mind the next time I feel like a pint in the city.

Before too long our parmas arrived...

First up, the schnitz - It was a little small, but made up for that in both thickness and freshness. The chicken itself was great quality, juicy and tasty - however it fell apart greatly at the crumbs. I'm not sure what they were but they were rather overcooked and just fell away from the chicken, with a massive chunk of one reviewers crumbs just detaching in one big, solid piece.

The home made napoli was extremely flavourful, it had paprika or some other spice through it that gave it a very unique flavour which I enjoyed at first -  unfortunately it was very overpowering and drowned out the flavours on the rest of the dish, the ham was there but could not be detected without specifically looking for it. The cheese was fine, could have used a bit more but (like everything else) was completely muffled by the extremely strong napoli.

The chips were crispy and well cooked however lacked any seasoning, which sent everyone at the table reaching for the salt shaker - we were supplied with a bottle of tomato sauce without requesting it, which is a nice touch. It was a decent serving, nothing to write home about but nothing to complain about specifically either.

The salad was boring. Barely dressed it consisted of a few lettuce leaves and a couple of onion slivers... That's it. It was pretty clear that the salad was just an afterthought to put something green on the plate.

Value-wise it was pretty good - we haven't had a parma under $20 for a while so clocking in at $19 it's hard to complain too much, it was a little small but the free finger food was a lovely little bonus that we haven't seen before - If it was around $4 cheaper I'd consider having this parma again - or even $19 with a free pint.

One thing I noticed while looking at the menu was this little item -

A brownie. With ice cream. Served on a sizzling hot plate?! That sounds absolutely amazing. I didn't try it at the time as brownie doesn't quite go with a parma and 4 pints, but I definitely want to revisit and give it a go, it sounds like amazing sorcery.

The parma at The Irish Times isn't particularly memorable but there's nothing that offensive about it either - it's middle of the road. They started with a great foundation of quality chicken breast but kind've fell apart from there. If they eased off a little on the spice in the napoli and did something about the flakey crumbs then it would be a great little find, but until then I'll probably stick to the great music, quality guinness and free spring rolls.

Parma - 5.80

Chips - 4.70

Salad - 3.00

Value - 6.20

Total - 5.10

The search continues...

#147 -'The Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse'

When? - 20th of June, 2013

Where? - The Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse. 115 - 127 Russell St. Melbourne

Price? - $24.50

Website? - http://portlandhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Em, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony

No, this isn't a double review, its just a very oddly named pub. From what I can discern the Portland Hotel & James Squire Brewhouse has two names and they just can't quite decide which one is their favourite, for example their website is portlandhotel.com.au yet their twitter is @JSBrewhouse. My best guess is that the restaurant-side of the pub is The Portland Hotel, and the more "pubby" side with sports on the big screen, pool tables & more standing room is the James Squire Brewhouse (not the first JS Brewery-in-a-pub we've come across either, although our first didn't rate too well - lets hope this one does a little better!)

Either way they share a menu, a kitchen and (most importantly) a parma.

We arrived at the pub and took our seats on the brewery side of the pub. Did I mention this pub has a working brewery inside? If you hadn't worked it out by the "brewhouse" part of the pubs name, there is a working brewery in the pub - an impressive sight and beautifully executed.

First things first though... The parmas.

We located and had a browse of the comprehensive menu - This would be a fantastic pub to bring a friend from another country to, as there are quite a few Australian game meats incorporated into dishes that you don't see too often in the Melbourne CBD (crocodile, emu & kangaroo).

But we weren't there for that! We were there for the parmas...

Now, I'm not normally one to fall for pretentious meal descriptions on menu's, but hot damn that sounds good! Parmesan encrusted crumbs? Honey roasted ham? 3 cheese glaze? Stop. Just stop. You had me at parmesan.

We placed our order and awaited our parmy goodness.

Now, Second things second... The beer.

Being a James Squire Brewery it's no surprise that there is a large selection of James Squire brews available over the bar, quite a few actually! From memory there were about 12 JS beers on tap - now how can one man sample all those beers in one night? With one of the greatest words a beer lover can hear... Tasting paddle.

Isn't it a thing of beauty? And for a pretty reasonable $15 for 6 mini beers it's the perfect way to tour the brews. It's one of life's rare pleasures to be able to sip a beer while sitting next to the still in which it was brewed.

Before too long it was parma time -

Points for presentation! This is officially the first parma I've had served on a wooden board - I had seen photos and heard rumors of this phenomenon in the past (I'm pretty sure Hoo Haa used to do it, and our friends over in SA found one recently as well) - an inventive and eye catching way to serve up a parma, that's for sure.

The schnitzel was a big'un. Definitely not the thickest schnitzel we've had (bordering on a little thin in places but not alarmingly so - nobody left hungry). The chicken was juicy, white and fresh - a quality foundation for the rest of the parma to build on. The panko crumb & parmesan cheese combination was inspired, delivering a unique, tasty crunch.

The napoli was delicious - no Dolmio canned crap here, this was fresh, chunky and in plentiful supply with a strong peppery kick that tickled the back of the throat... which is a bit of a double edged sword. I loved the spicy twang to the nap as I love pepper - however I can see that if I wasn't a pepper fan it might be a tad off-putting.

The honey smoked ham was an absolute triumph, simply bursting with flavour. Picking a bit off the parma and having it on its own reminded me of ham carved straight off the bone on christmas dinner - A fantastic addition to an already great parma.

So far this parma has been generous with all its toppings - and the cheese was no exception , this parma was cheesier than a 70's fondue party. Don't let the menu description fool you, the "3 cheese glaze" described is just your regular melted cheese - and in no way is that a bad thing. The three cheese combo carried outstanding flavour and complemented the rest of the dish perfectly.

Apologies for the dim cross-section lighting, It was a dimly lit pub, and I don't thing they would have appreciated me balancing my parma on the pool table to get good a better photo...

Despite being touted on the menu as fries there was a chunkier chip delivered on the plate - dodging a bullet in my opinion as I've always preferred a chunkier chip over a McDonald's style fry. A decent serving, and despite arriving mostly underneath the parma managed to retain their crunch (and to be brutally honest, a couple of soggy chips under the parma never really bothered me all that much - sometimes a few chips soaking up the parma juices can actually be pretty tasty!).

They were perfectly cooked and seasoned. I seem to say it every week but a pot of something to dip them in would have done wonders.

After an outstanding parma and chips the Portland's parma kind've fell over at the salad. The separate bowl was a nice touch and they weren't tight with the balsamic dressing, but there just wasn't a lot in there. A few lettuce leaves, a halved cherry tomato, two cucumber cubes and a radish slice. It wasn't bad but I just would have loved something more substantial, especially considering the high bar the other two elements of the dish set.

Our rule of thumb for judging value on a parma is "would I be happy to go back and pay what I paid again, for what I received". While the Portland's parma is a little pricey at $24.50 (not the most expensive, but not exactly cheap either) I would have absolutely no qualms in giving it another go anytime.

I absolutely loved the Portland Hotel's parma, all the ingredients were top notch and the peppery kick to the napoli was something that we don't see every week. It's an outstanding bird that I definitely recommend giving a try - if you aren't afraid of a little spice you definitely won't regret it.

Parma - 8.89

Chips - 7.97

Salad - 6.57

Value - 8.00

Total - 8.07

The search continues...

Attempt #146 - 'The Richmond Club Hotel'

[info]When? - 14th of June, 2013

Where? - The Richmond Club Hotel. 100 Swan st. Melbourne

Price? - $21

Website? - http://richmondclubhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Janet, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

In my drunken travels up & down Swan Street, I have walked past the Richmond Club Hotel many times, yet I've always registered it as a bit of a dive - ignorant of me, I know, but with so many attractive establishments in the area the RCH never really fell onto my radar.

How wrong I was.

A few weeks ago I was reading an article about the newly renovated Prahran Hotel (which looks amazing, by the way) and it was mentioned that one of the owners previous projects was the Richmond Club Hotel. I did some googling and good lord, behind the shoddy exterior the RCH is a simply gorgeous pub.

pic nicked from the RCH website-

I had to check it out in person so we put it on last weeks facebook poll, it got up with ease (always a sign of a good pub) and last night we headed over.

As expected, behind the unassuming facade the inside of the Richmond Club Hotel is a sight to behold - three levels of booths, couches, cosy nooks to get comfy in, and more bars than you can shake a stick at (mostly because you'd probably get kicked out if you started waving around a stick in a busy pub, thats just irresponsible. You could have someone's eye out).

The Dining room is on the ground floor (along with the public bar), but the RCH dining room has two set seating times for dinner - the first at 5:45, the second at 8 and seeing as we rocked up at seven we were kind've in the middle of both. So rather than hit the dining room we headed up a level and found a booth up there, this floor has more of a "clubby" sort of vibe, with dance floor, DJ booth and so on. The pub was filling up and we were lucky to snag the table that we did. If it weren't such a horrible winter's night we would have ventured up even further to the rooftop beer garden, which has to be one of the best rooftop pubs I have ever seen, with massive 20 person booths and a view of the Melbourne skyline that has to be seen to be believed.

We took our seats, checked the bar menu, spied our target...

and placed our order.

Cheap drinks were in effect from 6 till 7, so we came in just early enough to snag one $6 pint before they went back to regular prices, a nice little bonus. On Friday's the pub runs a "Karma Keg" (commonplace among this pub group) wherein for one keg you can pay whatever you like for a pot - with all proceeds going to charity/local projects. A great idea, and I applaud them for it.

After about 10 minutes the first two (of six) parmas arrived, Unfortunately the rest of them didn't come out for another ten to fifteen minutes on top of that, Which was a bit of an annoyance. Either way, we tucked in...

If you're gonna serve a parma that's relatively small, you should reduce the size of your plate - it looks lonely.

The schnitzel was quite small, but made from real chicken breast and thick enough, without cheating with the crumbs. Unfortunately the bird itself was rather dry, all of our parmas were rather overcooked - some verging on burnt (there were some black edges around the table).

The cheese, napoli and ham were all present, but all rather flavourless - there was no spice in the napoli and both the cheese & ham were very bland, which sent most of the table reaching for the salt & pepper to spice it up.

This is one of the smallest parma descriptions I've done, but I really have nothing else to say - purely because the parma is a lot of nothingness - no part of it was particularly objectionable (other than the dryness of the chicken) but it was just a non-event

Unlike the parma, the chips were outstanding. Piping hot, beer battered and delicious (although with so much room on the plate it would have been easy to not lay the parma on top). They were well seasoned, crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. If they had've supplied some sort of dipping sauce (like garlic aioli - even a bit of the old dead horse) they'd be heading for a perfect score.

The salad was another disappointment, a pile of lettuce (albeit fresh) with a couple of carrot and onion shavings and single hunk of tomato. Taking a page from the parma's book, it was a bit bland and lifeless.

$21 is a bit steep for what was delivered seeing as we all left a little hungry, but  the cheap pints helped ease the sting a little. The RCH runs a $13 parma night on Tuesday & Wednesday, yet I've heard (unconfirmed) reports from quite a few people that the real chicken breast is switched out for a processed cheapo schnitzel on the discount days - A major party foul if true (foul. Get it? Because its a chicken?... Anyone?).

The full priced version wasn't terrible, however I wouldn't go out of my way to have this one again.

The pub is amazing, the chips even better, yet everything else was uninspired. The menu boasts a bowl of beer battered chips with aioli, If I ever find myself at the Richmond Club again I'll definitely be getting one of those along with a pint on the rooftop beer garden, watching the trains go by and soaking in one of the best views of our great city I've seen.

Parma - 4.83

Chips - 7.92

Salad - 4.00

Value - 5.33

Total - 5.38

The search continues...

Attempt #145 - 'Hofbräuhaus'

[info]When? - 30th of May, 2013

Where? - Hofbräuhaus, 18-28 Market Ln, Melbourne.

Price? - $29.50 for the "Swiss" hähnchenschnitzel

Website? - http://www.hofbrauhaus.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony[/info]

Hofbräuhaus is a weird one. I'd heard about it many times, and it sounded like an awesome pub, yet for some reason the idea of doing a parma never crossed my mind. It had been suggested that we give it a go quite a few times, however I always dismissed it, as I was pretty sure that (being a traditional German pub) they wouldn't go near the idea of a "parma" and stick to strictly schnitzels (ten points if you can say "stick to strictly schnitzels" five times fast).

After the 23rd time it had been recommended to me it was time to check it out, I logged on to the website and took a gander at their online menu. Schnitzels? Check. Parmas?...kinda.

The "Swiss" schnitzel caught my eye. topped with ham, tomato and cheese? Sounds like a parma to me! It was decided. We loaded up the parma bus and headed to Hofbräuhaus

There's a few options when going to Hofbräu, there's the downstairs restaurant, the downstairs pub or the upstairs beer hall. I asked the staff what they would recommend - All areas have the same menu however the beer hall upstairs has live music - sold.

We arrived at the beer hall and took our seats, when they say that Hofbräuhaus is "a little piece of Bavaria in the heart of Melbourne" they are right on the money. Everything is perfect, from the live band playing traditional bouncy German music. to the waitresses all dressed in Bavarian bar maid outfits.

We took our seats, ordered our parmas, then tackled the beer list.

Beers at Hofbräuhaus come in 3 sizes. 250ml, 500ml and 1 Litre. Any pub that sells beer by the litre is a winner in my book. The menus (both for food and drink) are quite daunting, as the names for everything written in German. Rather than try and pronounce "HB Dunkel Weizen" I opted for the much easier "point to the menu and I'll have that one" method, which worked fine.

Before too long our schnitzels arrived (I'm trying to refrain from calling it a parma as, strictly speaking, its a "Swiss hähnchenschnitzel"

Well this was unexpected! It seems when the menu at Hofbräu claims that their Swiss schnitzel comes with "tomato" they mean it literally!

Rather than traditional napoli, Hofbräuhaus has gone with layering the schnitzel with slices of fresh tomato. I knew from the get-go that this wasn't going to be your average parma, so we picked up our cutlery and dug in.

If there's one thing the germans know how to do, its schnitzel. The bird underneath the toppings was stellar. Not to thin but not too thick while still maintaining a healthy size, Oven baked, freshly crumbed marinated chicken breast - it tasted fresh, as if it had only been crumbed minutes before. This is definitely a pub that prides itself in the quality of its schnitzels, and it shows - could easily stand on its own without the toppings at all as an amazing dish.

Hard to tell from the above photo, but there was a heap of ham on this parma, mutliple layers of shaved smoked leg ham added a delicious smokey flavour to the dish. As with the ham the cheese was also not in short supply - in fact all the toppings were applied liberally, and the slightly different taste that swiss cheese put through the dish made this a surprisingly different tasting dish.

Now, the tomato. Normally I am not a raw tomato fan. When its in a salad I steer clear, however on top of the Schnitzel and layered under the cheese it was definitely hard to avoid this time around so when I tucked into my meal ... I actually enjoyed it. The fresh tomato adds a much more subtle flavour to the dish, avoiding the punch that some napoli sauces carry - I said it earlier, but the sliced tomato added to the fresh vibe this parma gave off. I did miss a bit of garlic and some of the other spices that napoli provides, but had to keep in mind that this is not your traditional chicken parma, its a traditional German/Swiss hähnchenschnitzel.

ParmaCam 2.0! A little shaky this week as its the first ParmaCam in months. But stick with it! it'll only get better from here

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Hiding under the parma (and from the lens of my camera) was a decent serving of chips, Once I freed them from they Schnitzy-prison they served as a great accompaniment to the dish and were well cooked and seasoned - however what brings these chips up from "pretty good" to "outstanding" is the pot of garlic and herb mayo provided with all the hähnchenschnitzels - I used a bit of it with the schnitzel itself, but the majority of the mayo served as chip dip - and an amazing chip dip it was! Perfectly balanced with the garlic and herbs, it was a great addition to the plate.

The garden salad didn't look impressive on the plate, and I wasn't really looking forward to it - yet on tucking in I was pleasantly surprised. It had plenty of balsamic dressing and (like everything else on the plate) tasted as fresh as if it were just plucked from the garden.

Now the bit that will probably turn a few of you away from Hofbräuhaus, the price. Clocking in at $29.50 the Schnitzel at Hofbräu is the most expensive we have reviewed to date. Don't get me wrong, it was great... Nobody walked away from the table hungry and I'd definitely have it again, however I wont lie - shelling out almost $30 for a parma did sting a little.

Hofbräuhaus is an experience you should try. Plain and simple. If you like great beer served in mammoth quantities, great food and an amazing atmosphere that you won't find anywhere else in Melbourne, then Hofbräu is the place to be. Just be aware that when you go for dinner that you aren't going for a parma, You're going for a traditional German schnitzel - if you keep an open mind and like trying something a bit different, then you'll definitely have a good time.

Parma - 7.36

Chips - 7.39

Salad - 6.72

Value - 5.95

Total - 6.96

The search continues...

Attempt #144 - 'The Sporting Globe - Moonee Ponds'

When? - 30th of May, 2013

Where? - The Sporting Globe, 690-694 Mt. Alexander Road, Moonee Ponds

Price? - $18.90 regular, $19.90 buffalo parma

Website? - http://www.sportingglobe.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Janet, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo

UPDATE 13/08/15 - While not strictly a redo, we visited the Watergardens Sporting Globe on the 12th of August, 2015. This new review is most likely a more accurate representation of what the Sporting Globe now has to offer, as there have been some changes in the 2.5 years since this attempt. Check it out here.

UPDATE 07/04/16 - As an addendum to both this review and our second review at the Watergardens Globe, we investigated the new addition to the Sporting Globe's lineup - the Smoked Cheddar parma! Check it out here.

UPDATE 05/09/19 - We revisited the Globe to see what was new. Check it out here!

A long time ago I heard whispers of a new sports bar opening in Moonee Ponds, It piqued my interest and from then on I followed the development of The Sporting Globe very closely - The more I followed it, the more I liked it. An American style sports bar serving good quality bar food, good beer and a plethora of sports to watch - all a 2 minute tram ride from my front door. It was a long wait, but last week The Sporting Globe finally opened - and it was everything I was hoping for...

click to enlarge

I snapped the above panorama on the opening day last Saturday, as you can see, there is no shortage of TV's at the Globe, with over 40 screens its really hard to find a direction to look in and not see a TV.

I refrained from trying the parma on opening day, I knew I wanted to save it for an official review. So I put the vote up on the facebook and hoped against hope that it would win...

One vote! Holy crap that was close. I really wanted to like this parma, and I sound biased already, but trust me - I will be as honest as I can with this review. Putting all predispositions aside we loaded up the Parma Bus and headed to The Sporting Globe.

If there's one thing the Globe is focussing on its food specials, Each night runs a different deal with Wednesday being $13.90 parma night (unfortunately we were in on Thursday, but no matter)

The beer range is pretty standard, not much in the way of craft beers but I think that 's pretty much to be expected at a sports bar. Plenty of options on tap alongside a lengthy cocktail list and fully stocked fridge full of stubbies.

After a couple of beers in the front bar we wandered down the back steps and took our seats in the bistro, as you can see from the photo below each booth is fitted with its own personal TV screen, complete with control panel so you can select what you want to watch/what volume you want to watch it at. A fantastic touch.

We settled on "Whose Line Is It Anyway" and got stuck into the menus...

There is a lot to try on the Globe's menu, with items ranging from bar snacks (chicken wings, wedges, nachos, calamari) to more substantial fare (steaks, wraps, pizzas, burgers and ... parmas)

There are a couple of options for parma on the menu -

I was torn, I love a spicy kick to my parma, yet its a risk to take a novelty parma without first testing the standard as a baseline. We decided amongst the table that it would work if we split the order, some people got regular, others got Buffalo, and then we could all have a try of both to get a feel of them.

We placed our orders, along with a pregame of a couple of bowls of "Boneless Buffalo Bites" - Crispy boneless chicken bites coated with buffalo sauce and served with blue cheese sauce for dipping. A few were gone before I could snap the photo (they went quick!)

These little bites were fantastic, The buffalo sauce definitely carried a spicy kick but was well balanced by the blue cheese sauce. I was a little worried about having a whole parma of buffalo sauce, as the bites alone were pretty intense, and without the blue cheese sauce... it was gonna be interesting.

After a short wait our meals arrived from the kitchen...

click to enlarge

I started with the Buffalo parma, opting to have a few bites of the regular parma once finished. First off, it was damn cheesy, and as you can see by the above photo, if it had've been left any longer we would have had a dire slippery cheese situation on our hands (it had already started to slide off and pool at the base)

This is a parma of excess... Plenty of cheese, heaps of ham and lots and lots of buffalo sauce.

The buffalo sauce definitely gave the parma a kick, but damn was it overpowering. The first few bites were heaven yet towards the end I realised the only thing I could actually taste at all was buffalo sauce. The cheese, the ham, the chicken ... all buffalo flavoured.

Not to say it was bad, it was a great change up for parma lovers who want to try something different! It's an intense flavour with one hell of a kick, that works beautifully on something small like the boneless bites we had for pregame, but (as suspected) its just a bit too much when blown out to full on parma size - If they had something on the plate to level it out a little bit  *cough* blue cheese sauce *cough*  It'd be a much more enjoyable meal for the long haul.

Now, the regular parma. After finishing my buffalo parma I tried a few forkfulls of the regular (or "MVP") parma, and it was definitely a breath of fresh air after the intensity of the buffalo sauce. I could taste the ham, I could taste the cheese, I could taste the napoli and the chicken! It was all quality and great to calm down the tastebuds after the first one.

But an interesting paradox occurred when talking to the other reviewers... Those that started with the buffalo parma said the same as me - It was good but overpowering towards the end, and the bit of regular parma was a nice change.

However those that started with the regular parma said just the opposite - that it was good at first but got a bit boring towards the end, and their few bites of the buffalo parma gave them the kick that they were looking for.

It was two ends of the spectrum with no middleground for compromise! Maybe a regular parma with a pot of buffalo sauce on the side would be the way to go, but who knows.

The constant among the two parmas was the chicken schnitzel itself. Size-wise they were pretty standard - not small but not massive either - which I was thankful for after finishing my buffalo parma I was quite full, before having to tackle some of the regular.

It was real chicken breast and quite thick without being over-crumbed. While being a little dry in places it was an overall quality bird. The crumbing didn't quite hold on to the parma, however, and the bottom layer tended to flake away rather than stay on the chicken (I cropped the below cross section taller than usual so you can see this in action)

wow... that was a long chicken discussion. On to the chips!

They gave us steak knives too, I LOVE a good quality steak knife with my parma

The chips were fantastic. Well cooked, very well seasoned with (what I detected as) chicken salt. My only complaint being there just wasn't enough of them on the plate. I wanted more.

The salad was served in a bowl to the side, which was a nice touch. A standard garden salad of Lettuce, carrot, cucumber and onion (lots of onion) with a creamy dressing. Not terrible but at the same time not worth calling home about.

It's a sad state of affairs these days when I consider any parma to be under $20 as "cheap", but thats the way of the world these days. The MVP parma chimes in at $18.90 and the Buffalo parma at $19.90, both very reasonable for what you get. The night we tried the parma the drink special was $14.90 carlton draught or Midori jugs, which is very hard to sneeze at. Wednesday $13.90 parma night is definitely worth checking out, however I don't know if that applies to the Buffalo parma or just the standard.

It seems that if we judged both parmas on just the first half of the schnitzel then the globe would be getting stellar scores, yet the pair of them both have issues once you pass the halfway point - The MVP getting kinda boring and the Buffalo being just too damn rich, don't let this discourage you though - I would definitely (and most likely will) have this parma again - The Buffalo especially is a great change of pace for someone wanting to try something a bit different and don't mind a bit of spice, it's a unique parma experience that will definitely stick with me.

The venue itself is just what the area needs and will definitely be a breath of fresh air that I'm predicting will do very well indeed, absolutely worth checking out.

Parma - 6.71

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 5.57

Value - 6.43

Total - 6.49

The search continues...

Attempt #143 - 'The Hawthorn Hotel'

[info]When? - 23rd of May, 2013

Where? - The Hawthorn Hotel, 481 Burwood Rd. Hawthorn

Price? - $21 regular, $22.5 mexican

Website? - http://thehawthorn.com/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony[/info]

When the poll went up last week I was not expecting such emphatic support for The Hawthorn. It started slow, with a few votes here and there, then out of nowhere there was a wave of fans, not only casting their vote, but pleading in the comments below that we give it a try. Who were we to say no?

That's dedication - this pub has a fanbase

I hadn't been to The Hawthorn in years, the last time being when "23Past" (the cover band that played at The Prince of Wales) got a gig playing at The Hawthorn as well and we went to check it out. The POW burnt down over three years ago now, and it was long before that that I ventured to the Hawthorn. Long story short - it was ages ago.

Being literally across the road from Swinburne, the Hawthorn is most definitely a uni pub, and a staple of the uni pub is the cheap meal deal - which The Hawthorn is not in short supply of. "Parmageddon" falls on Monday night, and comes with a choice of 10 alter-egos and trivia for $13 - not a bad deal. The night we were there (Thursday) was "International Burger Night". I didn't see a menu, so I can't be sure what exactly makes the burgers "International", but tantalising none the less.

There were tables for dining scattered all over the dance floor and around the corner, as well as some comfy couches by the doors. We had a table booked but moments after arriving the acoustic band on stage fired up, now I don't mind a bit of background music while I eat and nothing against the band itself, but the music was just too damn loud - It was Friday-night-11pm loud, which is acceptable for Friday nights at 11pm, but not for 7pm on a Thursday when everyone in your bar is trying to eat, It was to the point where we had to shout our orders for drinks and food over the bar and opted to sit outside in the inside/outside courtyard instead of on the dance floor

I sound like a cranky old man in that last paragraph. Get off my lawn!

As you can see, there is a choice for either Mexican or Regular parma, both looked equally delicious however everyone at the table opted for some standard parmas, we placed the order and waited for the birds to arrive, but not before a bit of communal pregame -

Bruschetta

Wedges with sweet chilli & sour cream

Pregame was quality, however totally unnecessary as once the parmas arrived we were already filling up. Eyes definitely bigger than our stomachs

Didn't take too long for the parmas to start filing out of the kitchen, between a quarter and a half of a pint drinking time.

Click the pic to enlarge

First impressions - Impressive.

Massive, juicy schnitzel with beautifully crunchy crumbs that would have been a fine dish without the toppings, Perfect schnitzel thickness  and cooked to perfection.

The toppings were a bit of a mixed bag. First up, the cheese. There was a lot of cheese, which isn't necessarily a bad thing however this was all mozzarella, which has a tendency to be a bit bland when its the only thing you're eating, a multiple cheese blend would do this parma wonders.

The Napoli. Again, there was a lot of it, it was fresh and flavoursome - but funnily enough it was rarely in the same place as the cheese, one bite you would get all napoli, the next all cheese. The bits where they were in balance were great, but more often than not it was all or nothing.

The ham was there, but it didn't bring much to the party, When I have to check to see if there is ham on the parma it isn't a great sign, but points for having it at least.

I'm being critical. all up the elements came together to form a damn fine parma, with a few tweaks it could be outstanding, but as it stands it's still one I'd be happy to return for.

The chips were, in a word, Amazeballs (okay, that isn't a word technically but it definitely is an accurate description of these chips) Beer battered chips that were somewhere between fries and chunky chips, cooked to perfection - crunchy outside and soft inside. I was worried when we sat in the courtyard that there was no salt on the table, was relieved to find it wasn't needed in the slightest, perfectly seasoned

It's not often I feel the chips warrant their own photo, but this week definitely. The star of the dish -

Now when the parmas arrived, Reviewer Nikki pulled a chip out of her pile and let out an audible "Woah!" I looked over to see her holding up the biggest chip I have ever seen.

We saved it till last and kept it to the side, get a load of this monster (laying across the center of a full sized dinner plate)-

How big was the potato that this chip was birthed from?

The salad was average, Garden salad of lettuce, cucumber, tomato onion and grilled capsicum with some cream dressing. It wasn't particularly objectionable and the grilled capsicum was a nice touch, but nothing fantastic.

For $21 I was happy with what I got, if you check in when you arrive at The Hawthorn on a Thursday you get a free pot, which is a nice little touch and definitely appealing to the student crowd. If the parma maintains the same quality as it does tonight as it does on their Tuesday & Saturday "$13 pot and parma nights" then I would say it's one of the best value parma n' pot deals we have found so far.

After the pregaming and the sizable parma we struggled to clear our plates. The entrees definitely weren't necessary as The Hawthorn offers up a parma that it would be hard to walk away from hungry. It was a great parma in a pretty good location (the raised beer garden would be perfect for a summer parma in the sun) - A student's dream, definitely one worth checking out.

Parma - 7.50

Chips - 8.67

Salad - 5.25

Value - 7.25

Total - 7.23

The search continues...

Attempt #142 - 'The Woodlands Hotel'

When? - 17th of May, 2013

Where? - The Woodlands Hotel, 84 - 88 Sydney Rd, Coburg.

Price? - $25

Website? - http://www.thewoodlandshotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

UPDATE 02/08/18 - After launching a new menu we returned to the Woodlands. Click here for the updated review!

“If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise”

A quote directly from The first page of Woodlands Hotel’s website. I like suprises, and these days when it comes to parmas a surprise is a difficult feat to pull off.

After an overwhelming win on the facebook poll, we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Coburg.

The Woodlands is a cosy pub with a funky flair, overflowing with personality and style. We stuck to the downstairs bar, but the upstairs dining room and courtyard out the back both looked promising.

Deciding on a beer is quite the feat, with over 50 different beers on the  beer menu there are certainly enough options to warrant multiple visits

We took our seats and grabbed the menu, Target acquired…

We placed our orders at the bar and waited, I forgot to set the stopwatch this week so I can’t say exactly how long it took for the parmas to arrive, but it wasn’t long at all - Half a pint. Max.

A tip of the hat to The Woodlands Hotel - I was definitely surprised…

This was certainly a different parma, with a very unique presentation style.

I will say that although it looks amazing, serving everything in a pile such as it was was a bit of the pain in the ass to eat, especially with the amount of chips that there were and the curved plate (almost a bowl) the meal was served in, it took a fair amount of jiggering to get the parma down from fries mountain.

The schnitzel was thick, juicy and carried a flavour that made us forgiving of the nudity. However the schnitz was definitely not the most interesting part of this parma - it’s time to talk toppings.

This was not your ordinary parma, it was a re-imagining. Now just because it’s a new take doesn’t make it bad, quite the opposite - Much like the Star Trek movies compared to the original series, this parma had a lot to offer. (**Edit - I’m not saying the original series was bad. I mean that both the original and the remake, while both being good, have different things to offer)

First of all we had prosciutto instead of straight ham, a risky choice as prosciutto can often make a parma taste insanely salty - not in this case. It was a bold flavour that worked well with the other unique ingredients

Secondly, the cheese. Rather than going for shredded cheese coverage, The Woodlands opted for layering the parma with slices of taleggio cheese (A soft rind cheese, like camembert or brie), as you can see from the above photo it was fresh, with mine still having some of the rind attached. This was another brave choice that would not have worked with many other parmas, yet with this parma the flavours complimented each other beautifully.

There was plenty of chunky, fresh homemade napoli, also full of very strong flavours, I detected a lot of red wine but I can’t be sure.

Now, In the last few paragraphs I have used a lot of adjectives like “bold”, “strong” and “adventurous” to describe the toppings, and they all work beautifully together, however my one criticism for this parm would be that its just so much. 

There is so much going on in this parma its a bit of an overload, It’s just so rich that I had to stop halfway through and take a breather, snack on some chips, then continue. It’s a very heavy dish, you definitely won’t be walking away hungry.

I mentioned it earlier, but under the parma there definitely wasn’t a shortage of fries. A mountain of wonderfully cooked shoestring fries (aka. Maccas chips) waited under the parmage. I’m not a big fan of fries over chunky chips, yet these did the job fine and were a great palate cleanser when the parma got to be too much.

The garden salad (lettuce & onion, tossed in oil) was served on top of the parma. My first instinct was to push it to the side and finish it later, which I did, and found it to be a little bland. However talking to the lads afterwards it appears I made an error as their tactic was to leave the salad atop the parma and eat them both together, parma and salad at the same time. It seemed like a popular move and if I had the parma again I’d definitely give this method of consumption a try.

The Woodlands definitely put top quality ingredients into their parma (taleggio cheese and prosciutto especially) so its hard to complain about a $25 price tag. Yeah its a bit expensive but for a gourmet parma such as this it’s to be expected, I’d happily pay it again.

This isn’t a parma for everyone. It has a lot of bold flavours and brave choices. However if you’re adventurous and in the mood for something a bit different, then definitely give it a try.

You might be surprised.

Parma - 7.75

Chips -  6.00

Salad - 6.00

Value - 6.75

Total - 6.85

The search continues…

Attempt #141 - 'The Duke'

 

[info]When? - 9th of May, 2013

Where? - The Duke, 146 Flinders st. Melbourne

Price? - $22.50

Website? - http://dukeofwellington.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Tony, Stefo[/info]

Like a baby fresh from the womb, The Duke is brand spanking new on the Melbourne city pub scene. After a complete re-do The Duke reopened its doors on the 28th of March this year (only a month and a bit ago), and I can tell you now - they did a great job.

Before we get to the parmas, lets talk about the pub. In a word - Fantastic. An absolutely expert refit had breathed new life into this Melbourne pub - It’s funky, it’s modern yet it retains a classic feel. On the Thursday night that we visited the place was buzzing with suits who dropped in for an after work drink. Great atmosphere in the front bar, and some great looking meals coming out around the back.

I’ll be honest, I was excited. My pre-parma-beer was pulled with skill and served ice cold. However we have been fooled in the past, A good pub doesn’t always mean good parma (and its always bitterly disappointing when that is the case).

We grabbed some menus and took a seat…

Parma confirmed. Although it is worth noting that the rest of the menu at The Duke looks phenomenal - it’s not often you find a pub that serves a breakfast menu from 7am and toasted vegemite & gruyere sandwiches from 11pm until close. Do yourself a favour and check out the rest of the menu here.

We placed our order. a few moments later we were delivered the little caddy pictured below -

Cutlery, salt, pepper, tomato sauce, HP Sauce and two varieties of hot sauce (green and red). A lovely touch and greatly appreciated.

Rather than the usual schtick of counting the amount of pints between ordering the food and it arriving, we opted for a more accurate measure this week -

15 minutes - pretty good for five parmas! That’s 3 minutes a parma…

They landed on the table in front of us and we dug in without hesitation. There was some variation of shape around the table, which is a sign of real, hand crumbed chicken breast…

This was a good parma, As suspected the chicken breast was hand-pounded, a little thin for my tastes but a minor complaint. The breast was big, juicy, tasty and served piping hot.

The crumbing was fantastic. not too thick and around the edges they carried the perfect crunch. I could easily have the schnitzel on its own (without the toppings) and be happy with this meal.

Speaking of the toppings. They were basic, yet expertly executed. The napoli was plentiful, The cheese was the perfect combination of melty and golden brown and the the gypsy ham was detectable & added a lovely flavour.

There really isn’t much to criticise about this parma! On some of the rounder parmas at the table (they ranged in shape from big and round to long and skinny) the few bites at the center were a bit soggy, not nearly as crispy and delicious as the edges. But I’m nitpicking here.

The hand cut chips were also top notch. served beside the parma (thank god) they were chunky, hot and fluffy in the center. You know you’ve got a good chip when the only complaint I can think of is that I just wanted more. There weren’t many chips on the plate and the amount of chips also varied around the table, some people counting as few as eight chips (I was a bit luckier in getting 14 or 15). However, they were delicious.

The garden salad on the side was just that, a basic garden salad. However on the spectrum of garden salads, this was a good one … Mostly because it had a heap of both dressing an onion on it - two things I love in a salad, along with cucumber slices and cherry tomatoes. For a garden salad, it was good - I can’t help but wish there was a bit of variety on the plate

$22.50 for the parma we ate was a very fair price. I’d be back any day of the week and happily pay that again.

The pub is an ongoing project, With reports that they are opening a second and third level in “stage 2” later this year, definitely worth keeping an eye on.

The Duke is a must-try. Simple as that. I’ve been watching a lot of “My Kitchen Rules” lately and there is one thing they always say - If you’re going to do something simple, you’ve got to pull it off perfectly. That is the Duke’s parma in a nutshell. There aren’t any bells and whistles or fancy gimmicks, it’s your basic parma, chips and salad … yet it is a truly superb basic parma chips and salad.Give it a try.

Parma - 8.60

Chips - 8.10

Salad - 7.50

Value - 7.60

Total - 8.08

The search continues…

Attempt #140 - 'The Plough Hotel'

Shoutout to blog Foodscrazy for the photo - I hope you don’t mind that I nicked it! couldn’t find a better post-renovation pic.

[info]

When? - 3rd of May, 2013

Where? - The Plough Hotel, 333 Barkly St. Footscray

Price? - $25

Website? - http://www.ploughhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Janet, Lee, Matt, Michael, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

Footscray is an area we have somewhat neglected. Not sure why. I don’t think its due to lack of options, however it just doesn’t seem to get suggested to us all that often. Don’t get me wrong - I have been pestering The Station via twitter to put a parma on their menu since I first tried their amazing menu… but to no avail.

So when I heard the long-neglected Plough had recently had a revamp it was on the top of my list. It won the vote by a clear margin, and last night we loaded up the parma bus, passed the famed “Footscrayzy” sign and headed to The Plough Hotel.

Arriving at The Plough the first thing that struck me was the renovations, the place looks absolutely gorgeous. Polished wood floors, minimalist design, an all round class act and expertly executed revamp breathing new life into the old girl. If I had one complaint is that the new design is all tables, there isn’t really a spot where you can stand around and chat or lean against the bar, as the place has a much more restaurant-y vibe than that of a pub.

We took our seats in one of the oversized booths and perused the menu

The urge to pre-game and get some entree’s were strong, as the menu is mighty tantalising, however we stayed the course and went with just the parma - it’s been a long slump of mediocrity lately, and we needed to focus our stomachs 100% on the task at hand.

We placed our orders and anxiously awaited the arrival of our food. By the time we had ordered our meals the place was packed, so it was a slightly longer wait than I was hoping for (the majority of a pint went down while waiting) but that’s understandable for such a busy place.

Took a trip to the bar to get a fresh pint of Steam Ale and returned to find the parmas had been delivered (don’t you just love when that happens?)

Things looked good, We picked up our cutlery and tucked in…

The chicken quality was phenomenal, thick, perfectly cooked and so juicy. The crumbing was paper thin but rather soggy. The gypsy ham added a (subtle) but great flavour to the dish and the cheese was perfectly melted with just the right amount of browning. But the absolute star of the parma was the chunky tomato salsa.

Now, when the Plough says “chunky” they sure mean “chunky” with hunks of melt-in-your-mouth roast tomato and make-your-breath-stink-for-hours (but in a good way) onion. The chunky salsa gave the dish such a rustic feel and really brought the dish to life. Delish.

I loves me some beer battered chips, and these were pretty damn good. .. With a couple of exceptions;

Firstly, they were under the parma. Now this is the most common complaint about chips in the world of parmas and I usually try not to mention it, as after 140 parmas its just something you come to terms with - However this parma was served on quite a large plate, with a heap of extra space. They could have very easily fit the chips, salad and parma on the plate without leaving half of my beer battered beauties a soggy mess.

Secondly, after a few chips it became quite obvious that they were fried in the same oil that they use to cook the fish & chips, as they had a quite sublte yet quite distinct fishy taste too them that, once noticed, was pretty distracting.

A lot of complaints for what were essentially a delicious serve of chips I know, but it had to be mentioned.

The salad. It’s no secret to regular readers of Parma Daze that I hate rocket salad… (If I wanted to eat grass I’d go and chew on the nature strip) and unfortunately this salad was all rocket. 

There were some interesting ingredients, in addition to a few slivers of capsicum and radish we discovered what appeared pomegranate seeds - an inspired choice for a salad. I just wish wish wish they hadn’t used rocket, The bitterness of that devil weed just killed it for me.

$25 is pretty pricey for a parma, however when you’re using ingredients of this quality it is to be expected. I’d be happy to pay that again, purely for the parma itself, and I’ll definitely be back to The Plough to give the rest of the menu a try.

All in all this was an outstanding parma, some damn good chips and a disappointing salad. Definitely give it a go, if only for the amazing chunky salsa and top notch bird.

Parma - 8.13

Chips - 7.31

Salad - 5.50

Value - 5.94

Total - 7.00

The search continues…