Attempt #136 - 'The Gertrude Hotel'

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When? - 4th of April, 2013

Where? - The Gertrude Hotel, 148 Gertrude St, Fitzroy

Price? - $20

Website? - http://thegertrudehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Cale, Fridge, Grace, Lee, Matt, Stefo, Tony [/info]

Arriving at the Gertrude we were greeted with a fabulously inviting little bar. Dark stained wood, dim lighting, exposed bluestone walls - all the things I love in a pub (and the ever-rotating craft beer selection on tap was fantastic, worth the trip alone), I even heard murmurings of a quality little beer garden out the back that’s definitely worth checking out.

We took our seats and checked the bar menu.

Parma sighted

Parma ordered.

I had just finished the last mouthful of my first pint when they landed on the table (I’m a quick drinker and was damn thirsty after deciding that a walk from Elizabeth Street to Gertrude Street “wasn’t that far”).

Hmmm. First of all, the cheese on top was crazy overcooked, dark brown splotches were abound on all of the parmas (the one pictured above wasn’t the worst of the bunch) The schnitz, the cheeze, the napoli - everything was overcooked and dry (with the edges of the schnitzel actually burnt). However that can be forgivable if the ingredients are quality… lets take a look at the cross section -

Processed schnitzel, more crumb than chicken.

For a processed schnitzel the toppings saved it a little, but it was just so dry. The cheese was rubbery, the napoli had the consistency of tomato paste and the ham … actually the ham was probably the best part about the meal. It carried a great flavour that complimented the dish perfectly.

I’m normally not big on french fries, I prefer a chunky pub chip - but I’ve gotta say that for french fries these were actually okay - well seasoned and plenty of them, My one criticism being they were (like the parma) overcooked, the smaller ones tasting more like a bag of Smith’s chips than a fry.

Can you call it a salad when it only has one ingredient? For a pile of lettuce tossed in a little dressing it tasted alright - boring, but fresh, just a bit of cucumber, or tomato or anything other than lettuce would have been appreciated.

For $20 I was unimpressed. Normally I would say “If it wasn’t overcooked it had the elements of a great parma” but that is only partly true - sure it would have helped, but that faux-schnitzel is hard to overlook. Wouldn’t be back for the parma - Would be back for the pub, and the great drink selection.

Parma - 4.38

Chips - 4.63

Salad - 2.75

Value - 4.50

Total - 4.13

The search continues…

Attempt #135 -'The Spotted Mallard'

Apologies for the horrid pic, I realised at the last moment that I didn’t take one, that moment being sitting at the traffic lights out the front as we were leaving, snapped this photo as the lights turned green.

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When? - 28th of March, 2013

Where? - The Spotted Mallard, 314 Sydney Rd, Brunswick

Price? - $19

Website? - http://spottedmallard.com/

Reviewers – Janet, Lee, Matt, Pat, Shanan[/info]

This is gonna be a tough one. It’s not often that I disagree with the other reviewers at the table as much as I did this week, Part of the reason this review is a few days late is that I needed time to process what we ate and form my opinion… Oh well, lets dive in!

As a pub, The Spotted Mallard is a hidden gem. Walking past the lobby and seeing the unassuming wooden staircase one wouldn’t believe that it opens up to a massive ballroom-style space up above, with a great selection of craft beers and stellar balcony to watch the world of Sydney Road pass by below.

We arrived and took our seats, Famished and looking forward to my parma I had a leaf through the menu … and my heart sank.

Thigh.

The chicken parma at The Spotted Mallard does not use chicken breast, it uses chicken thigh. And this is where the major conflict of the night arose, as I cannot stand chicken thigh. (be prepared to read the word “thigh” a lot in the next few minutes… its gonna come up often)

I know people say that it carries a sweeter flavour than breast, and I have no problems eating thigh in a curry or something else heavily spiced, but a parma is supposed to be chicken breast. White, thick and juicy, how The Spotted Mallard were going to hammer a tiny chicken thigh into a workable parma was beyond me.

We placed our order and awaited the arrival of our meals. In preparation for typing up this review I visited the website for the Mallard and found this…

Last updated on the 14/10/12. Why would they change from breast to thigh?

A pint later, our parmas arrived at the table… I did my best to set aside my pre-conceived notions of thigh meat, and tucked in.

As suspected, there was no way they were serving up a full sized parma made from thigh meat, so instead we got two smaller parmas on the same plate. I tucked in, and did my best to enjoy it, but cutting through that grey thigh meat just turned me off.

The toppings, on the other hand, were great. The cheese was tasty, the napoli was home made, fresh and delicious and the prosciutto added its trademark saltiness to the dish that I can’t get enough of.

I just wish they had’ve used breast. It would have been amazing with breast.

The hand cut chips were great - crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, they were in desperate need of some salt and maybe a dipping sauce, but gotta love a quality hand cut chip.

I have a problem with coleslaw for salad that I’ve mentioned in the past. I love that they are doing something different to a garden salad, and (for a pile of coleslaw) it was delicious. But coleslaw, especially home made coleslaw is a very rich dish, and a small garden salad to the side to break it up a little would have been greatly appreciated.

As you can see the other reviewers were a bit more open minded than me, but I just couldn’t get past the fact that it was thigh. I just can’t think of the reason as to why they switched to thigh meat for a chicken parma. Is it a cost issue? Because I’d be happy to chip in a couple of extra bucks for breast. It would have been great with breast.

Or is it just to be different? To stand out from the crowd? Look, I’m all for a unique parma (Palookaville’s parma-ish still stands as one my favourites), but there’s being unique, and being unique at a detriment to the dish - and in my (surely unpopular) opinion, The Spotted Mallard have crossed that line.

If you don’t mind thigh, check it out.

If you feel the same way that I do, still check it out for the pub alone (its a must-see location) - but you might want to avoid the parma.

What can I say? I’m a boob man, not a leg man.

Parma - 6.5

Chips - 6.9

Salad - 4.19

Value - 5.8

Total - 5.98

The search continues…

#134 - 'The Flying Duck'

When? - 21st of March, 2013

Where? - The Flying Duck, 67 Bendigo St. Prahran

Price? - $21

Website? - http://www.flyingduckhotel.com.au/

Reviewers - Adam, Cale, Kylie L, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Pat

Once again, I’m really not sure how The Flying Duck fell onto our radar (I should really start writing that stuff down), but last week in our facebook poll for which Prahran pub deserves our attention, The Flying duck demolished the competition, with more than double the votes of the pub that came in second (The College Lawn).

I love a backstreets pub, a hidden gem known only to the locals - and The Flying Duck is this in spades. The place was practically empty when we arrived on Thursday afternoon but it is very easy to envision the place bustling on a Friday evening or Sunday afternoon.

Pretty standard on the inside, the dining room of The Duck opens out to a massive glass greenhouse, in the middle of an even bigger and more spacious beer garden out the back. Very impressive and (as I said in the previous paragraph) perfect for a few pints on a warm Sunday arvo.

View of the greenhouse, taken from the beer garden.

We arrived at the duck and took a seat under the glass. Everyone was starving so we decided a pregame was necessary - An order for a couple of bowls of wedges and turkish bread was placed as we ordered our parmas

The wedges that arrived were quality - Standard wedges with standard bowls of sour cream and sweet chili sauce. Massive serves that went down a treat. The turkish bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar was a little less inspired, but did the job adequately.

Very shortly after our pregame arrived, the parmas landed on the table…

I assure you, there is some chicken under that slice of ham. Unfortunately, not much. As you’ll see from the cross section below, the schnitzel was the most processed piece of bird we have seen in some time. Every element of the parma carried more thickness than the chicken itself. The crumbs were thicker, the cheese/napoli was thicker, hell even the slice of ham was bordering on being thicker than the actual chicken in this chicken parma.

The toppings were ordered in an odd way, the massive slice of ham on the bottom it formed a barrier between the schnitzel and everything else - leaving it possible to lift everything off if one wanted (as pictured below)

There was barely any cheese on the decent serving of napoli, unfortunately the nap just tasted of canned tomato paste.

To my distain I got through my parma, it was edible, but not an enjoyable experience.

The chips were fine, not as good as the wedges we had previously, but fine. Standard pub chips with zero seasoning and a little undercooked. The seasoning wasn’t an issue a there were salt pots along the table that brought the chips to life slightly. Sadly, the chips were probably the tastiest thing on the plate - and thats not saying much.

From the moment the plates hit the table the salad looked sad. You can see from the above photo that it was a wilted mess, to be completely honest it looked like it was made for the lunch shift and had been sitting around in a bowl in the kitchen all afternoon.

If this was a parma that I got for free at Crown after putting $50 in the pokies, I would still be disappointed. Paying $21 for this hot mess was just insulting. Wouldn’t cross the street to get it again, and driving from Essendon to Prahran for the experience was just a slap in the face (Citylink ain’t free!)

Trying to draw some positives from the experience - The pub itself was gorgeous, I love a good beer garden and The Flying Duck definitely had a tick in that box - According to the internets they pride themselves on being “dog friendly” even going as far as having special “Mad Dog Monday’s” where you are encouraged to bring your dog - This kinda thing is pretty cool, and I give them kudos for it.

And with a dog at your feet there’ll be an incognito place to slip your parma after you realise it’s rubbish.

Parma - 3.36

Chips - 3.64

Salad - 2.71

Value - 2.86

Total - 3.19

The search continues…

#133 - 'Captain Melville'

When? - 14th of March, 2013

Where? - Captain Melville, 34 Franklin St, Melbourne

Price? - $25

Website? - http://www.captainmelville.com.au/

Reviewers - Adam, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Matt, Stefo

If the above photo looks familiar it is because we have been to this establishment before. Back in 2011 we visited this pub, however at the time it was known as “Miss Libertine” (Full review here). However times they are a-changing, out with the old/in with the new and all that.

So now Miss Libertine is Captain Melville, and I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed.

They haven’t just changed the sign, the pub has had a complete remodel since last time we were there, with both the decor and menu showing they are aiming for a more upmarket crowd that Libertine was, with less focus on live bands and music and more focus on quality food and drinks.

The place looks amazing, both in the front bar and out in the courtyard out the back, which feels like a beer garden until you look carefully and realise the whole thing is completely enclosed, no getting wet on winter nights here!

We arrived, took our seats, checked the menu and found the parma -

But quickly realised that there was so much more to try, so opted for a bit of pre-gaming before the main event (everything on the menu looked delicious, it was just too hard to decide)

So other than parmas, we got ourselves the following to share around the table -

• Salt & pepper squid with black garlic aioli
• Mt. Zero olives
• Charcuterie - A selection of cured meats with condiments
• Chicken Kiev balls (2 serves)

I won’t go into too much detail on the pregame, as this is Parma Daze not Pregame Daze, suffice to say it was all amazing (particularly the charcuterie), and hopefully a great sign of things to come.

Before we knew it we were polishing off the entree and the mains were arriving from the kitchen…

The parma itself was just outstanding. The chicken breast was of the highest quality, the herbed crumbs were amazing, the cheese was creamy and delicious and the ham complimented it all perfectly.

The napoli was delicious but in slightly short supply, could definitely have used a bit more. There were leaves throughout the parma (looked a lot like bay leaves) that added a very strong citrus taste to the dish. Now that sounds unappetising for a parma, but it worked surprisingly to its advantage, giving the meal a unique tang that we’ve yet to come across in the past.

The was much debate as to weather the chips were chips or wedges. They’re massive, cut in the same shape as a wedge, but without the trademark coating that makes a wedge a wedge - SoI’m gonna stick with the menu and call them hand cut chips.

Whatever they were I enjoyed them - At first they were quite bland, but a quick visit from Mr. salt shaker made short work of that. Once seasoned they were a very tasty chip, with the perfect combination of external crunch and internal softness.

In place of a garden salad was a serving of home made coleslaw, which was delicious and rich … a little too rich. It was quite a big lump of coleslaw, and although it complimented the schnitz perfectly there was just too much of it. Keep the coleslaw, but maybe half the size of the serving and throw a garden salad on the plate as well to keep things interesting.

The commenters were a talkative bunch this week -

The parma wasn’t cheap, clocking in at $25 it was up there on the price scale, but to be honest I’d happily pay that again. The flavours through that bird were outstanding and one I would have no qualms with revisiting. The ambience of the pub is fantastic and all of the food that came out of the kitchen was impressive.

Some of the attendees thought the schnitzel to be a bit on the small side for the price, but (not unlike goldilocks) I think it was just right. Due to the pregaming we were absolutely stuffed when the cheque came, but I think if we hadn’tve had the entrees I still would have left satisfied. Not as stuffed as I was mind you, but quite satisfied.

Definitely one to try.

Parma - 8.67

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 5.25

Value - 6.83

Total - 7.28

The search continues…

Attempt #132 - 'The Nixon'

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When? - 7th of March, 2013

Where? - The Nixon, 757 Bourke st. Docklands

Price? - $22.90

Website? - http://www.nixonhotel.com.au/

Reviewers - Adam, Cale, Fridge, Janet, Lee, Matt, Nikki[/info]

Despite hearing good things about The Nixon, it wasn’t our first choice for this week. The weekly vote on our facebook page had us going to Outback Jack’s instead, however when I called to book OBJ’s on Thursday afternoon I discovered that the Docklands Outback Jack’s had gone out of business … something that their website fails to mention.

I was a relieved to be honest, I had little faith that Outback Jack’s would serve up a good parma. For one thing, they call it a parmy on their menu. Never a good sign!

So the location fell to whoever came in second in the vote, and that was … unnecessary drumroll… The Nixon! I made the booking and later that night we were walking in the door, under the shadow of Etihad stadium

Arooo!

When we arrived the pub trivia night was already underway, just waiting at the bar for a drink I knew the answers to all of the questions I heard, So I definitely want to head back and give it a go - Although a 6:30 start time struck me as odd, so early!

We grabbed some pints and made our way into the dining room, checked the menu and eyed our prize -

Sounds good to me! We placed the order for seven parmas and awaited their arrival while trying to work out why the pub has such a reverence for Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon, The chicken wire bust is pretty cool, but… Just… Why Nixon?

Before too long (about half a pint) our parmas arrived from the kitchen -

I had to rotate the plate so the chips and salad were visible, so you can’t quite tell from this pic, but this parma was an absolute monster, here is another pic so you can get a better impression of the size of this beast.

She was a monster.

Now, in the past, parmas like this have fallen prey to what we have dubbed ‘big parma syndrome’ which is basically when you get these big’uns, they get boring far too quickly, and just end up being bland and monotonous.

The Nixon, however, did not suffer from big parma syndrome - the “three cheese mix”of cheeses gave the whole meal a fantastic flavour, with that tasty cheese tang penetrating through the whole meal and actually reminded me a little of the Prince of Wales parma from all those years ago.

The chicken was not processed and thick enough, the smoked ham added a great flavour to the dish and the crumbs were just right - not too thick, and maintained a solid crunch.

My only criticism would be the napoli - It tasted canned, processed and boring, more tomato soup than tomato napoli

The ‘steak chips’ were great. well cooked, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside and well seasoned with chicken salt, which is always a winner. Could’ve been a few more on the plate, although with the size of the bird above the chips nobody left hungry.

The salad was surprisingly good, initially looking like a plain old garden salad, we quickly discovered a few olives and even a chunk of feta cheese that complimented the side perfectly. Pleasantly surprised

The Nixon parma is massive, there is no way you are walking away from that plate wanting more. I would be more than happy to pay $22.90 again for that dish any day of the week. They run a $15 Parma n’ Pot Night on Tuesday nights which, if the parma maintains the same quality as the one we had last night, is an outstanding deal and I would claim one of the best value parma nights going around.

I’m regarding Outback Jack’s being closed as a happy accident, as the parma we had instead was damn impressive. The perfect spot for a pre-footy parma. Trivia looked like a lot of fun as well, so if you’re in the area  at 6:30 be sure to give it a try.

And in Victoria it’s Parma, not Parmy. (I try to stay impartial on that debate, but I’m putting my foot down. It’s a Parma) That’s why you went out of business Outback Jack’s!

Parma - 7.07

Chips - 7.29

Salad - 6.93

Value - 6.79

Total - 7.03

The search continues…

Attempt #131 - 'The Quiet Man: Redux'

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When? - 28th of Feb, 2013

Where? - The Quiet Man Irish Pub, 271 Racecourse Rd. Flemington

Price? - $19.90

Website? - http://www.thequietman.com.au/

Reviewers - Janet, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Pat[/info]

This review is a redo of a previously reviewed parma - check out the original attempt Here

First things first - I love The Quiet Man. It’s the quintessential Irish pub that doesn’t feel forced or fake, the atmosphere is great, the beer is always cold and the food, other than the parma. has always been top notch (the stew pots served in a hollow loaf of bread are a particular favourite)

Now, in the previous paragraph I mentioned that the food Other than the parma has always been good. I held this opinion for a long time, as back in May of 2010 we visited The Quiet Man for a parma review - Our #6th parma review, and it didn’t fare too well at all.

So when we received word that there had been a changeup in chefs and a revitalized menu (including a new and improved parma) we were champing at the bit to give it another go, so last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Flemington for a revisit to The Quiet Man.

Everything I said about the atmosphere in the original review still stands. The Quiet Man is cosy, warm and inviting. We took our seats and checked the menu -

The standout change to the description of the Quiet Man’s parma was the addition of bacon instead of ham. I love bacon. I love parmas. And I flipping adore bacon on parmas… Hopes were high when we placed the order.

It was a fair wait before our food arrived so I took the opportunity to look through my phone and reminisce about the last time we visited. I made sure to check the photo to refresh my memory of what the old parma looked like -

Then our parmas arrived, would there be a big change? or would it be the same thing with a bit of bacon…

Wow! Quite an improvement (visually at least). Without hesitation we tucked in.

The parma was greatly better across the board. Quality schnitzel of a solid thickness and not over crumbed,  A less redonkulous amount of cheese than last time, plenty of chunky, fresh napoli and a generous hit of bacon - Normally bacon parmas can be a bit stingy with their pork, but not this one, plenty to go around.

Despite being thick the chicken itself was a tad dry and stringy, but this is a minor complaint over an overall great parma - and a stellar improvement over what it was.

The chips were classic ‘fish and chip shop’ chips, that didn’t go over too well with some reviewers. There were plenty of them and they were well seasoned, but they had a slightly odd taste to them that threw us, after much consideration our working theory is that they were cooked in the same oil in which the fish is prepared, giving them a very slight fishy taste.

The garden salad was massive and bursting with flavour. plenty of ingredients brought what could have been a rather boring garden salad to life. Lettuce, onion, carrot, capsicum and cherry tomatoes all did very well. A fitting accompaniment to the dish.

In this day and age its a surprise to find a parma under $20, and clocking in at $19.90, the price of the QM’s parma makes me happy. No  ’parma nights’ that I could see, but I’d be more than happy to return and pay that again for what we got. More than happy.

Out of the 3 redo’s we have done so far, The Quiet Man’s parma has shown the most improvement over it’s predecessor. They have put a fantastic amount of effort in to give new life to what was once a very mediocre parma. It’s still not perfect and has a few issues, but it pleases me to no end that The Quiet Man’s parma has now been brought up to a level where I would have to think long and hard about my decision to get a parma or a stew pot next time I’m there.

Parma - 7.42

Chips - 4.67

Salad - 6.83

Value - 7.55

Total - 6.78

The search continues…

Attempt #130 - 'The Post Office Hotel'

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When? – 21/2/13

Where? – 231 Sydney Rd. Coburg

Price? - $25

Website? - http://www.thepostofficehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo[/info]

The Post Office Hotel fell onto our radar after a comment was made on a great article written by long-time friends of Parma Daze, Chris Canty

The past few weeks we’ve been going over the other side of town, so a recommendation that doesn’t have us driving over the Bolte in peak hour traffic was more than welcome.

Arriving at the post office I was taken back - I was not expecting a pub so gorgeously renovated. The pub looks superb. Exposed brick and polished wood floors make this one sexy establishment, and the pool table, beer garden and oh-so-comfy lounge area gives you a reason to stay long after the plates have been cleared away.

We checked the menu and spied our target…

There is an eggplant parma available in the dining hall, but 1) we were in the pub and 2) eggplant is icky.

We placed our orders at the bar and took our seats - food was pouring out the kitchen left right and center, and it all looked fantastic - The hamburgers looked especially good and I’ll definitely be popping back in for one in the future.

After a decent wait (35 - 40 minutes) our parmas arrived…

If I had that monkey’s paw that they found on that one Halloween episode of The Simpsons, my wish would be this -

“I wish for a parma that’s thick and juicy, Well cooked, with crumbs that aren’t too thick, and chips to the side that are fresh and well salted”

And the POH parma would be that wish, granted…

And at first, it was fantastic, the first few bites of the POH were bliss, the ingredients are all of the highest caliber and top notch.

However, we all know the curse of the Monkey’s Paw - that it twists the wisher’s words into something unexpected…

An odd complaint, but the chicken schnitzel was just too thick, I took a second cross section pic to show just how thick it got -

As reviewer Nikki so eloquently put it, “its just too chickeny” (we are in talks with webster’s to get “chickeny” added in next year’s dictionary). A slice of ham was desperately needed on this oh so thick bit of bird to break up the assault of chicken on the senses.

And the wish for thin crumbs? they were too thin, giving the parma no *crunch*, as I said before, it was just so chickeny

Our wish for a well cooked parma was partially twisted as well, as a few reviewers around the table noted that the bottom of there schnitzel was a little burnt, almost black in places.

The wish for “well salted” chips also came back to bite us. Now I love a well seasoned chip as much as the next bloke, maybe even more than then next bloke, but these shoestring fries, despite being well cooked and quite tasty, were so damn salty my mouth started to burn.

I can’t really complain about the salad, because it delivered exactly what was promised on the menu - a “mixed leaf salad”, and that’s exactly what it was. A pile of different lettuce leaves, very well dressed and tasty, but just boring overall. What ever happened to hearty salads? … with lots of stuff in them.

I didn’t really mind shelling out $25 for this parma, despite my complaints all the ingredients were of superb quality, and I can’t fault them for charging a bit more for the good stuff.

Even though I had a bit of a whinge, the POH parma is worth giving a go - All the elements of a great parma are there, they just need some slight tweaks to push them up the scoreboard. If they added a slice of ham (or bacon, or prosciutto, or any sort of pork product) and whacked the chicken breast with a mallet a few times this would be a parma in contention for the top ten. Unfortunately a couple of issues dragged it down.

Hopefully the next poor soul to find that monkey’s paw will put it to good use…

Parma - 6.7

Chips - 5.2

Salad - 5

Value - 5.2

Total - 5.76

The search continues…

Attempt #129 - 'The Village Belle'

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When? – 14/2/13

Where? – 202 Barkly Street. St. Kilda

Price? - $13 Parma Thursdays, $20.90 Regularly

Website? - http://www.villagebelle.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony[/info]

In the words of the great Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park 2 …

“Hang on. This is gonna be bad…”

The Village Belle was not our first choice - It was on the facebook poll as an option but came in 2nd to the Hotel Grosvenor. Unfortunately due to Saint. Valentine the Grosvenor was running a set menu on Thursday night which (shockingly) didn’t include a parma.

The Belle is deceptively massive, the huge bistro leads into a massive public bar, and goes much deeper than expected back into a sports bar and pokies area. Lots of little nooks and crannies to get lost in.

At first we took a seat by the window in the public bar for a few pints while we waited for everyone to arrive, open windows led out to a great view of the world passing by on Acland St. fantastic for people watching.

Once the team arrived we moved into the Bistro and took our seats, found the menu and realised we had a choice ahead of us -

A decent range, most of us decided on the Traditional but Reviewer Fridge went with the Hawaiian and Reviewer Cale went with the Bolognese. Upon placing our order we got an unexpected surprise … It was parma night! Thursday at the Village Belle just got a lot easier on the wallet as the price dropped from $20.90 to a flat $13 for all varieties.

Bargain! I was stoked with that little win.

Then the meals arrived…

My heart sank. The edges were burnt, and there was a major case of slippery cheese, indicating that this parma had a long stay under the heat lamps while waiting for the other ones to be ready.

Hoping to be pleasantly surprised I cut into it. I wasn’t surprised. the schnitzel was insanely dry with very little redeeming factor. The napoli tasted canned, the ham give it a little flavour and the cheese was rather rubbery.

I really believe this parma was destroyed by the heat lamps, as reviewer Matt said his actually wasn’t that bad - The working theory is that Matt’s was the last parma off the rank, while everyone else waited for his to be done. Murdering them in the process. Reviewer Fridge even commented that one mouthful was so hard it felt like he almost broke his tooth.

The chips had promise and could have been awesome. Beer battered, well seasoned and very tasty - however (like the parma) they were dry and flat as if they had been sitting for a long time. Reviewer Tony said it well, when he said “even though they taste good, its like they cooked a proper chip, then stuck in a tube and sucked all the potato out, leaving just the shell” And I have to agree.

Boring garden salad, lettuce, cucumber, onion and tomato with some creamy dressing. Not terrible, but (once again) wilted and bland.

For only $13 I can’t complain too much, I have seen photos of the Village Belle parma that look nothing like what we received, that leads me to believe they put on the cheap stuff on parma night. If I had’ve paid $20.90 for what we got I would have been a lot crankier, and the parma probably would’ve gone out the window.

It’s hard to deny - The heat lamps killed this parma - Although even without that I can’t see it being any more than mediocre (apart from the chips). Cupid did not strike an arrow through my heart in regards to this parma, And I doubt I’ll be back.

Parma - 3.88

Chips - 5.50

Salad - 3.13

Value - 5.06

Total - 4.29

The search continues…

#128 - 'The Royston Hotel'

When? – 7/2/13

Where? – 12 River St. Richmond

Price? - $21.90

Website? - http://www.roystonhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo

We Revisited the Royston in 2016! Be sure to check out our updated thoughts on their parma here!

The Royston has been on our list forever. It was originally suggested to us by the lads at Mountain Goat beer via twitter a while back (and many more times by many other people since then) but we had just never gotten around to giving it a go. On the weekend I asked on both our facebook and twitter sites where we should hit, and the answer was a resounding “Royston”. My expectations were high for this one, which is a dangerous thing as nothing makes me crankier than when a much-hyped parma falls short.

Thursday night at the Royston is steak night, so we battled our way through the hordes of hungry carnivores and took our seats. $17 for a mouth watering 250g porterhouse was damn tempting, but no. Parmas are what we were there for, and parmas are what we ordered. A quick scan of the menu and we identified the night’s target -

Sounds good! but something was missing. The menu had a lot of fantastic other options, so the decision was made to pre-game a little, after a quick round we decided on the following (ill post the menu grab beside the image so you know what’s what)

(dip of the day was Hommus) 

(excuse fingers - I couldn’t get 6 hungry people to restrain themselves long enough when the entree’s hit the table)

All of the entree’s were outstanding - I’m trying to find fault but they were all spot on. The chips were great, the Aioli was perfect. The hommus and bread was crazy addictive and everything on the bar plate complimented the other perfectly. If this was a sign of things to come, then the parma was going to be out of this world.

While we waited for our food I took in the surroundings - The Royston is a beautifully well kept little spot - retaining its former glory without looking aged and worn. Boasting a fantastic ever-rotating selection of Australian micro-brews - I can see why the Mountain Goat boys suggested it - their beers were displayed predominantly on tap - hardly a surprise as the brewery is a stone’s throw away.

Before too long our birds fell before us…

The parma was a point of contention. Some liked it, some disliked it, nobody was blown away. We will start with my opinion, then I will present the opposing opinions for you to make up your own mind.

One thing everyone agreed on - The schnitzel was a let down. Thin, possibly processed chicken with thick crumbs that looked nothing like the full thick chicken breasts we have seen in the past. After the stellar appetisers we had before the parma, the schnitzel was a definite let down.

Now, my opinion on the toppings.

I thought they were great. plenty of golden brown cheese, the napoli was rich, chunky and in abundance and the lashings of shaved ham added a fantastic flavour. In my opinion the toppings saved the parma - unfortunately not everyone agreed with me. A few voices around the table thought that their cheese was undercooked and that there was too much napoli and cheese, overpowering everything else.

Each to their own I guess, thats why opinions are like assholes - everyone’s got one.

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One thing everyone agreed on, however, is that the chips were fantastic. beer battered, crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. Cooked to perfection and well seasoned (it also helped greatly that we saved the left over garlic aioli from the starter serve of chips for some added flavour - If they added a pot of aioli to the regular parma they would be a 10/10 no doubt).

I don’t like rocket. Or roquette, or rucola or whatever you want to call it. I’ve never liked it - it tastes bitter, looks like a weed and is not a valid substitute for real lettuce. The salad that came with the parma was a predominantly rocket salad - with a few shavings of cucumber and a skerrick of onion (I think there was more onion in the napoli than was in the salad).

It was a total afterthought, not impressed at all.

On a Tuesday night Burgers and Parmas are only $17 each, and they throw in Quizmeisters Trivia for entertainment - Thats a good deal that I’d be happy to return for, however at full price I doubt I’d be back for a Royston parma anytime soon.

Parma - 6.33

Chips - 8.00

Salad - 3.83

Value - 6.08

Total - 6.12

The search continues…

Attempt #127 - 'The Corner Hotel'

When? – 31/1/13

Where? – 57 Swan st. Richmond

Price? - $22

Website? - http://cornerhotel.com/

Reviewers – Lee & Matt

Update - We revisited the Corner 6 years later and tried the parma up on their rooftop bar, you can read about it by clicking here !

Does The Corner Hotel need an introduction?

I feel like its one of those places that “needs no introduction”, it’s a Melbourne institution! Yet I feel like I should introduce it anyway…

The Corner hotel! On the corner of Swan and Stewart street in Richmond. (quite a low key corner to be the pubs namesake if you ask me, you’d think a more high profile corner should be called “The Corner” I say they should switch names with Young & Jackson … now thats a corner to be proud of!)

A live-music staple, if you’re into music in Melbourne, then you’ve been to The Corner. The walls are literally wallpapered with posters of past gigs, this is a pub that bleeds music, and with a fantastic rooftop beer garden/dining area it’s a great little spot for a pre-show or post-footy pint.

Unfortunately we visited The Corner on the 31st of January, which you will probably know as “That day in January that fucking pissed down” We arrived, rather soggy, and decided to forego the rooftop deck in weather such as it was, and opted for a cosy booth on ground level.

We found a menu, eyed our target…

…and placed the order at the bar. After a run of Mediocre salads I was excited for something a bit different, and the promise of coleslaw fit the bill nicely.

The parma looked impressive when it hit the table. Heaps of shaved ham and perfectly golden cheese. It looked a treat. I cut into it and revealed a healthy thick looking chicken breast that wasn’t overcrumbed… Then I took a bite, and was rather disappointed.

First of all, the toppings were great (as expected) the cheese was tasty, the abundance of ham carried a great flavour. However the chicken was so dry. “As dry as a dead dingo’s donger” is a phrase that comes to mind, and a lack of much napoli didn’t help it at all, I found myself reaching for my pint of Mountain Goat between each bite, just to rehydrate my now dry mouth (and Mountain Goat is delicious).

I’m hoping that we got a bad batch and they aren’t normally like that, because there is so much potential here squandered.

I’m the kind of eater that likes to put a bit of everything on the plate onto my fork, and when combined with the mayo in the coleslaw it brought it back a little, but not quite enough.

The chips were great. Beer battered chunky chips, cooked to perfection - only slightly under-seasoned but the salt shakers on the table made short work of that.

The salad. I wanted to like it so bad, and there was so much of it. However although it looked like coleslaw, it didn’t quite taste like coleslaw, and that threw me off. The mayo was thick, bland and the whole thing carried a odd flavour. You know that really bitter taste that larger roquette leaves get? that. All the way through it.

As mentioned in the parma section, it was good when mixed with the parma, but on its own it fell short.

$22 is pretty standard for parmas these days, and I definitely didn’t leave hungry (it was truly a mountain of coleslaw). If the extreme dryness of the chicken was only a temporary issue, then I’d definitely be back, otherwise I wouldn’t go out of my way for this one - Maybe if I was already at The Corner again I would give it another go, otherwise give it a miss.

All in all The Corner is a great spot - A Melbourne mainstay, and probably one of the best live music venues that we have. I know I’ll be back to sometime soon, probably not for the parma though.

Parma - 5.75

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 3.75

Value - 5.50

Total - 5.55

The search continues…

#126 - 'Naughton's Parkville Hotel'

When? – 24/1/13

Where? – 43 Royal Pde, Parkville

Price? - $22 Classic Parma, $22.50 Calabrese Parma

Website? - http://parkvillehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Kylie, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo

Update 30/11/18 - We revisited naughton’s after some extensive renovations. check out the updated review here

Upon walking into the recently reopened Parkville Hotel I was instantly impressed. A fantastically executed renovation has breathed new life into this pub, while retaining a classical atmosphere.

Walking in past the patrons enjoying some bevvies in the sun on the tables out the front, I spied what appeared to be a small beer garden out the back, which I (unfortunately) didn’t get a chance to check out. We were seated in the front bar, I grabbed a pint of cider and we checked out the menu -

Naughton’s Parkville serves an array of classic pub food with what appears to be an Italian twist, I saw a few wood fired pizzas and hamburgers go past that looked very impressive. But we stayed on task and ordered our parmas (three of the eight in attendance went with the ‘Calabrese’ option for an extra 50c)

One thing I noticed with the classic parma after placing the order is that, in keeping with the Italian theme, this is more of a “traditional” parmigiana - meaning no slice of ham.

We’ve had parmas that have omitted the ham before, and it isn’t always a negative (The parma that started all of this was also pork-free, and we still consider that the best we’ve had). So I held my judgement until I tried it … Although I will say that when I noticed it was missing I regretted not going with the Calabrese Parma instead.

I was three quarters of the way through my first pint when our parmas arrived from the kitchen. The ‘This schnitzel is shaped like Australia’ joke is an old standard, but this took it to a whole new level…

The schnitz was first-rate. A not-too-thick and not-too-thin juicy breast of chicken, perfectly crumbed and tasted amazing - it’s a sign of quality when you don’t mind a bit of schnitzel nudity, as it tastes just as good without the toppings.

The cheese was grilled to a perfect golden brown and kept its taste and texture through to the end, I just wish there was a bit more tomato sugo on the dish, as it was a little dry on the napoli in some spots, and felt like I was eating just a cheese covered schnitzel.

I hate to say it, but although it was a damn tasty parma, A slice of smoked ham would have really brought this dish to life - I tried my hardest not to miss it, but I did.

When I was doing my pre-parma research earlier in the week the menu had a third option, alongside the Classic and the Calabrese there was a prosciutto alternative that I think would have been amazing, Sadly it was absent from the menu last night - hopefully it makes a re-appearance.

I didn’t get a photo of it but the Calabrese parma looked pretty much the same, just with a few slices of salami dotted around on top of the cheese.

The chips were pretty standard. Well cooked but unseasoned and in rather short supply. The salt shaker on the table was used liberally but once it was the chips turned out to be a perfectly serviceable side to the meal.

The salad was a disappointment. A handful of lettuce drizzled with some oil and vinegar. Thats it. For a pile of lettuce it tasted okay for what it was, but it was just boring - a major let down compared to the rest of the meal.

$22 for the standard is pretty standard these days, According to various sources on the internet, Thursday night is 25% off parmas, pizzas and drinks if you have a student ID, however I saw no advertising of that once we arrived, So I wouldn’t bank on it without a bit more research.

All in all Naughton’s served up a damn quality parma that was let down by some lackluster sides. Those who had the Calabrese option were particularly impressed (still kicking myself that I didn’t go that option!). It was a perfect size, I arrived hungry and left quite satisfied.

The pub looks great and has been gorgeously renovated. There were plenty of other great looking items on the menu that I’ll definitely be back to try - here’s hoping the prosciutto parma makes a re-appearance by the time I do!

Parma - 8.63

Chips - 6.31

Salad - 3.44

Value - 6.75

Total - 6.75

The search continues…

Attempt #125 - 'Taco Bill'

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When? – 17/1/13

Where? – 353 Keilor Rd, Essendon (also available at Kensington store)

Price? - $21.90

Website? - http://www.tacobill.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming…

We’re back! And to kick off the 2013 season we are coming straight out of the gate with a bit of a curveball.

Everyone knows Taco Bill, It’s the place where all the people who go to the cricket get those massive sombrero’s (and they also sell Mexican food, I think).

But what you may not know is that a few Taco Bill’s around town have put a very interesting “Mexi-Parma” on their specials board. It has been spotted at two locations that we know of so far (Essendon and Kensington), and if you know of any more that are doing it, let me know on The Facebooks or Tweeter.

Right off the bat I am going to preface this review - This is not a traditional parma. If you are going in expecting your standard schnitzel-cheese-ham-napoli with a side of chips and salad then you are going to be sorely disappointed  but if you are willing to try new things, then you might just find something damn interesting.

We arrived at Taco Bill and scored a great table by the front window. This particular Taco Bill has quite a few options when it comes to seating - there’s the front dining room, a seperate upstairs dining room, and for those warm summer nights there is an outdoor bar/beer garden/dining area out the back…

I started the meal with a Mexican staple - The Margarita -

I went with the ‘Fruit Tingle’ flavour, and good lord was it tasty, pictured is just the standard size, but if you’re in for a big night it’s hard to go past the fishbowl margarita…

The ordering of which ensures both a good night, and a kickass sombrero.

But enough about the drinks, on to the parmage! We placed our orders and sipped on our drinks while we waited, after a rather short wait the plates arrived at our table -

I’d like to re-iterate… non traditional

Okay, where to start. Imagine you have a quality chicken schnitzel in front of you, well crumbed, decent thickness, good size. Tasty, yes? Now imagine opening up a burrito and covering the schnitzel with the contents. Genius? definitely!

The schnitzel was covered in a healthy layer of chili con carne, and topped with plenty of cheese. If you don’t like chili, then this isn’t the parma for you - as chili is definitely the dominant flavour of this dish. Having so much flavour in the topping, it would have been easy for Taco Bill to phone it in with a low quality chicken breast, but not here - the schnitzel was surprisingly good quality.

If I could ask for one addition to the parma, I would say (being a Mexi-parma) it is sorely in need of some sour cream or guacamole to balance out the chili, either on top or on the side, either of those would compliment the dish perfectly and take it to the next level.

Now, in keeping with the non-traditional theme, the standard Chips and Salad are gone, and replaced with sides of Mexican rice and cheesy frijoles (beans), These were a fine side, and although I missed my chippies I think they would have been out of place with this parma - The rice tasted great, as did the frijoles.

Pricing in at $21.90 is perfectly acceptable for what you’re getting, I did not leave Taco Bill hungry after that dish, and I think you’d struggle to find someone who would.

In short, Taco Bill serves up one of the best novelty parmas we have come across, but it is still a novelty parma - You have to be ready for that before you arrive. But if you have an open mind, head down to Taco Bill, order yourself a fishbowl and a parma, and enjoy!

Parma - 7.33

Sides - 6.33

Value - 6.67

Total - 6.80

The search continues…

Parma of the Year 2012 - 'The Imperial Hotel'

It wasn’t a big surprise, was it?

The Imperial Hotel has been on the top of our Ladder since August and we revisited two weeks ago to give their amazing Turkey Parma a try. When it comes to the most outstanding parma of 2012, the Imperial definitely takes the cake.

This post will be relatively short, as I’ve said everything that needs to be said about the Imperial Here and Here, but in short, if you’re a lover of a quality pub and a parma you would struggle to top, then you must pay the Imperial a visit. Now.

The golden chook, or the “dazey” … which do you think has a better ring?

We arrived at The Impy and wasted no time in ordering our celebratory end of year parma’s - before too long (and for the last time in 2012) the parmas hit the table…

Glorious

Just as I remembered it from August, the Imperial parma continues to tick every box, great quality, beatifully hand crumbed schnitzel, chips with both tomato sauce and garlic aoli for dippage, and a salad … hold on …

The salad has had an upgrade!

There are two ingredients in the world that make any dish better, the first one being bacon (duh) but who can tell me the second?

If you answered “cheese” you’re right!

The salad has had a complete redo, and the addition of shaved cheese on top really brings it to life. It’s not quite as healthy anymore, but if you’re eating the Imperial parma then I’m pretty sure you aren’t counting calories.

We finished our meals and presented the Dazey to Stephen, the Manager of the Imperial

Which was promptly given prime position over the drinks in the front bar…

And we were done! We stayed back at the Impy for a few celebratory pints to finish of a stellar year of parma hunting. The year in which we celebrated our 100th parma with an amazing road trip, and awarded our second Dazey (click here for the rundown of last year’s Dazey award)

Thanks to everyone for reading, and if you think you know of a pub that could challenge The Imperial’s crown be sure to let us know over on the facebook or twitter and we will check it out in the new year.

Thanks to The Imperial Hotel for putting up with our nonsense, and from everyone here at Parma Daze I hope you all have an amazing christmas, an even better new years, and we will catch you all with some brand new parma news in January!

The search continues…

Attempt #124 - 'Tonik Bar'

When? – 7/12/12

Where? – 524 Macaulay Rd, Kensington

Price? - $22.00

Website? - http://www.tonikbar.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo

**UPDATE** 23/7/15 - Tonik has closed its doors and re-opened as Lost and Found Bar & Tattoo Studio ... with a much better parma! Check out the full review of the new establishment here. 

Tonik has been on the top of our list for quite a while. Literally.

Here’s a picture…

So with the end of the year upon us I simply couldn’t venture into 2013 (or the Mayan apocalypse) without testing the Tonik parma, we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Kensington.

The reason it has taken so long for us to get to Tonik is that up until a few weeks ago,  apart from their Tuesday $17 ‘Parma and a pot’ special, with 7 different kinds of novelty parma on the menu, there was no chicken parma available on any other day of the week. It was only recently that they included the holy bird on their regular menu.

We arrived to a surprisingly busy little bar, took our seats and placed our orders. For some reason the upstairs area of Tonik was taken over by a makeshift craft market on this particular Thursday, quite an odd thing to find above a bar, but we had a browse, taste-tested some banana bread and sniffed some scented candles - a fun little distraction while we awaited the arrival of our parmas.

Just as we finished browsing our food arrived.

My first thought was that the schnitzel looked quite small, warning bells rang, but we have been fooled by a small looking shnitz in the past, and they usually make up for it in thickness. Which this parma kind of did, it was not only quite thick, but it was dense. It’s hard to explain and I don’t think I’ve ever described chicken as dense before, but this was definitely it, and it was quality chicken, although as thick as you can be, it was still rather small.

Unfortunately thats about where the positives end, the napoli tasted watered down and far too peppery (especially for those around the table that don’t eat pepper - thats what its in the shakers on the table for)

The cheese and ham where there, but I had trouble detecting their taste over the overpowering pepper flavour.

The chips were in short supply, undercooked and had bit of a starchy aftertaste to them, everyone reached for the salt and supplied tomato sauce squeeze bottle to try and salvage them a little.

The garden salad was a disappointment, more of an afterthought than a side dish - a pile of oily rocked with a very light sprinkle of some other veggies on top. The oil gave it an unpleasant aftertaste that wasn’t very enjoyable at all.

Opinion about the parma itself varied around the table, but thoughts about the side dishes seemed pretty unanimous…

For what is on the plate, $22 is quite high for what you get. A small schnitzel, minimum chips and an afterthought of a salad. For $17 with some novelty toppings and a free pot I would be happier, hell for $17 and nothing else I would be happier, but if It wasn’t on a Tuesday I wouldn’t travel very far out of my way to try this one again.

I was disappointed with Tonik as I had heard good things and had such high hopes. The parma itself wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great, and the rest of the package was a major let down.

Major let down

Well that’s all she wrote! Our last ranked parma of the year - be sure to tune in next week as we award the Dazey award for best parma of 2012! (how exciting).

Parma - 6.30

Chips - 3.20

Salad - 3.20

Value - 3.80

Total - 4.56

The search continues…

Special Holiday Attempt - 'The Imperial Christmas Parma'

So my original plan was to do the entire review in the form of a re-written version of A Visit from St. Nicholas, but after doing just the first verse I realised how much of a stretch that would be, its a really long poem and I’m already pushing it - shrubs dont stir, even if they are crazy excited.

Last week I received an email from our current No #1 pub, The Imperial Hotel, with some very interesting news - They were launching a new Christmas parma on December 1st  and they wanted the Parma Daze team to come and give it a try. We figured it was a perfect time to get a holiday special on the site (plus I’d never turn up the chance for a parma at The Imperial), so we loaded up the Parma-Sleigh and headed back for the first time since our initial review!

The pub hasn’t changed, still as cosy, warm and inviting as ever, As we took our seats in the dining room we had one thing on our minds. The christmas parma. We got our hands on a flyer to see what we were in store for…

We placed our orders and awaited the arrival. A turkey parma? would it be good? how would the cranberries in place of napoli go?

I won’t lie, I was a bit worried, even when we are at a pub with novelty parmas I rarely go any more extreme than a “mexican” so a turkey parma with cranberry sauce is a completely new ballpark.

before long our dishes arrived

It looked… Like a parma! Slightly smaller than the chicken schnitzel but still pretty sizeable. I picked up my knife and fork and cut my first bite.

It was damn good.

As soon as I tried it all of my concerns were out the window - My major worry was that there were a lot of very strong flavours on the dish - any of which could have overpowered the thing, but they all complimented each other fantastically. The brie, the ham, the turkey and the cranberries all worked together amazingly well.

Now, it is different than your regular parma, the sweetness of the cranberries add a completely new flavour, it kind of reminded me of honey or lemon chicken that you get at chinese restaurants, but on a plump, fresh turkey breast.

The chips were the same as last time - still served in a separate bowl to minimize sogginess, keeping them crisp and delicious.

Instead of a salad the Christmas parma is served with a bowl of veggies, I thought this was a fantastic choice, as it rounded out the whole vibe of a hearty turkey dinner. I thought it was a great choice, however some of the opinion around the table was that the option of a garden salad would be nice.

This is gonna be a short review as we covered all the basics of the original Imperial Parma in our first visit. The Christmas Parma is only available in December and I can’t recommend it highly enough, get down to the Imperial and try it while you can!

Okay, that was awful, Note to self, don’t quit day job and become the “Weird Al” of 18th century poetry.

The search continues…

Attempt #123 - 'Deluxe Bar & Lounge'

[info]

When? – 22/11/12

Where? – 593 Mount Alexander Rd, Moonee Ponds

Price? - $10 Thursday parma night

Website? - http://deluxebar.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Kim, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo, Tony[/info]

**EDIT - This review is no longer valid! We revisited Deluxe in 2015 for another look at their (now Friday) $10 parma night. Check it out here!

Ahhh Deluxe. Local club in which I have downed many a Jäger bomb, pint of cider or shot of tequilla, Never did I think I would be enjoying a parma in its hallowed halls, but with the recent opening of the Deluxe rooftop bar we did exactly that.

After walking through a bit of a maze to get to the top, I was amazed by what Deluxe had done to the rooftop… I don’t normally take photos inside the pubs we review, but this definitely warranted one -

Plenty of tables, an outdoor bar, a retractable cover in case the weather turns - This is a great spot for a summer afternoon sesh, and on Thursday night’s the $10 parma special makes it all the more inviting.

We grabbed some menu’s just to see what we were up against -

Regularly priced the parma comes in at $18, still pretty cheap, but being Tightarse Thursday we placed our $10 parma orders.

Before too long they arrived from the kitchen…

The schnitzel was bigger than I was expecting and crumbed with fresh herbs that added a fantastic zing. The generous serving of ham added great flavour to the dish, however there was quite a bit of nude schnitz (due to some very curly ham), the cheese was kinda tasteless and the napoli was a bit watery.

Due to it being a discount parma My expectations weren’t high going in, but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not fantastic by any means but for a $10 meal its very hard to complain.

After an extended absence, the ParmaCam makes a shaky return! -

[youtube id="ysGIUIXqSf8" width="580" height="337"]

The chips were beer battered, fresh and well seasoned. accompanied the parma adequately and were a fine addition to the meal, I can’t really come up with any more to say about them … They were fine, probably could’ve used a few more.

The salad was a very mixed bag. The score for salad around the table fluctuated wildly as everyone got a different amount of ingredients - Reviewer Fridge got a hearty salad of Rocket, onion, carrot, tomato, cucumber and I think I even saw some capsicum in there. I, however, got a plate of rocket, with a sprinkle of onion and some dregs of a tomato (you’ll be able to see it in the ParmaCam above).

All in all Deluxe’s entry onto the parma scene is a mixed bag. It certainly has it’s faults, but its very hard to complain when for only ten bucks I had a parma on a gorgeously renovated rooftop courtyard and walked away with a full stomach. If I had to pay full price ($18) I’d probably be signing a different tune, but the ease on my wallet definitely helped me overlook its imperfections. If you love a cheap feed it’s definitely worth checking out.

Parma - 6.25

Chips - 6.31

Salad - 4.69

Value -  8.69

Total - 6.44

The search continues…

Attempt #122 - 'The Rising Sun Hotel'

[info]

When? – 15/11/12

Where? – 395 Swan St, Richmond

Price? - $15 with pot Thursday, Normally $20

Website? - http://www.theriser.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

When the Rising Sun won the vote in an absolute landslide last week, I had high hopes we were in for a good parma - It has been awhile since we’ve had a discount parma deal, so the prospect of a $15 parma and pot definitely tickled our fancy.

The Riser feels out of place, it feels like a pub you would find in a country town - not the middle of Richmond. We took our seats in the bistro, placed our orders, collected our free pots and awaited the arrival of our parmage. After a short wait (and after a lovely pre-game of bruschetta and wedges) the parmas arrived from the kitchen.

This was a hard one to judge. there were some pro’s and there were some cons, and in the end opinion amongst the group was pretty divided.

The schnitzel was big enough, but pretty heavy on the crumbs. Speaking of the crumbs they were rather thick and soggy all the way over. The chicken was juicy but didn’t carry much flavour - either did the cheese and the ham. In fact the only part of the meal that carried any real flavour was the napoli sauce - It was very thick, tomato paste-ish and pretty much overpowered the whole meal

The chips were fairly solid, Beer battered, good flavour and well seasoned - their major downfall being that they tasted as if they had been sitting out for a while - a fresh batch of these babies would have been a fantastic addition to the meal.

The salad was a bit of a disappointment - despite being in a separate bowl the lettuce was wilted, and balsamic dressing seemed watered down, lacking any real flavour.

Like I mentioned earlier - Opinion was divided this week, the quotes run the gamut from “not bad” to “awful”…

It’s hard to complain about a $15 parma & pot deal, I’m aware this review hasn’t been quiteuseful in helping you decide whether to try it or not, but if you want to give it a go $15 is probably worth the gamble. You won’t be blown away by it, but its not overly offensive either.

This is the hardest kind of parma to review - the middle of the road. I can’t recommend it, yet at the same time I cant discourage a visit. If you’re in the area on a Thursday it’s worth checking out, otherwise I’d give the Rising Sun a miss.

Parma - 5.08

Chips - 4.67

Salad - 1.67

Value - 6.83

Total - 4.67

The search continues…

Attempt #121 - 'The Wharf Hotel'

[info]

When? – 8/11/12

Where? – 18-38 Siddeley Street, Melbourne

Price? - $22

Website? - http://wharfhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

Two weeks ago The Wharf Hotel won the facebook vote by a pretty big landslide (20 votes to the Wharf, 12 for Deluxe Bar and 3 for Naughtons Parkville Hotel). Then stuff came up last week that prevented us from doing a review so this week we loaded up the parma bus and headed to the docklands, and the Wharf Hotel. Voting for next week’s attempt will be live on the facebook page till Monday night, go and tell us where to go!

Located within the World Trade Center complex (across the river from Polly Woodside) The Wharf Hotel is an impressive pub. Beautiful beer garden right on the river, complete with plenty of plasma screens and an outdoor fireplace, not to mention the gorgeous interior with extremely cosy leather lined booths, which is where we found ourselves last night…

Straightforward. We placed our orders and before too long we were greeted by our parmas -

At first glance the parma looked solid, the crumbs on the schnitzel were quality and it seemed to be of decent thickness, kinda small, but thick. It wasn’t until we took a bite that we were let down.

While being thick, the chicken was as dry as a dead dingo’s donger, dry and stringy, I had to take sips of my pint between each mouthful to retain a bit of moisture.

The toppings were okay, but they were just bland. Boring, dull and humdrum (thanks thesaurus.com!). The napoli was tasteless, the ham probably carried the most flavour out of all the toppings (and thats not saying much) and the cheese was … just cheese.

Nothing about the parma was particularly offensive, but it wasn’t good, and it certainly wasn’t twenty-two dollars good.

Not much to say about the chips - McDonalds fries, decent seasoning and well cooked but not many of them, If a pub is resorting to fries over chips then I want a healthy serve of them.

Now, to be fair to what I’m about to say about the salad, the menu did state that the parma was served with “leafy greens” and not “salad”. But whatever you call it, it was rocket and a few slivers of onion tossed in oil. A complete afterthought and not worth the effort of putting it on the plate.

As the review team mentioned in their comments, if this was a $10 parma I would have left satisfied, but $22 for a small parma with Maccas chips and weeds on the side left a very bad taste in our mouths.

Apparently they run a $15 novelty parma Monday which would be worth checking out (inexplicably these ones are served with “steak chips” and not fries. why not put the steak chips on the full sized parma!?) That would be worth checking out, but I wouldn’t go too far our of my way to get there.

An aesthetically amazing pub in a fantastic location with a top notch view. Too bad the parma was such a let down.

Parma - 5.30

Chips - 4.70

Salad - 3.40

Value - 3.80

Total - 4.50

The search continues…

Cooking with Parma Daze #2 - 'The pork rind experiment'

Hello Hello!

This post was supposed to go up much earlier on the weekend, but things happened that prevented it (mostly me being far too sick to consider writing words).

A few weeks back I was struck with a revelation. Pigs are delicious, chicken parmas are delicious. So how could we combine these magical delights past the simple slice of ham or bacon?

Pork rinds.

I put it out on the social networks to see what kind of response it would get -

Well that was that, I had to give it a try. I was struck down with a sore throat come Wednesday and by the time Thursday had rolled around I was well on the way to being sick - not as bad as I would get later in the weekend, but enough that the CBF’s majorly kicked in and I pushed our scheduled attempt at The Wharf Hotel another week.

I Headed to LaManna and loaded up on supplied for what had been dubbed “The pork rind experiment”

Chicken, ham, cheese, eggs (for crumbing) Leggo’s Napoli, some beer battered chips, nandos perinaise for chip-dippage and a bottle of Tabasco to give the napoli a bit of a kick.

Then there was the star of the day … The pork rinds -

Now I took a lot of pictures of the cooking process, so from here on until the finished product there will probably be more photos than words. Enjoy!

First of all I put the pork rinds in the blender, I wanted them to have a slightly rough texture so I made sure to only use the occasional “pulse” setting to give them a gentle crushing, but not reduce them to pork-paste.

The finished product. It smelled like pork. Pork and salt. But mostly pork

Next up I took out the mallet and went “fifty shades of grey” all over the chicken breast. I’m not a big fan of overly-pounded chicken, so after a few whacks it used the safe-word (“Rasputin” for the curious) and she was ready for the crumbing.

A dip in the egg then into the rind

Voila! Pork rind crumbed chicken schnitzel. at this stage I was optimistic. Doesn’t it look good!

Covered the tray in foil and put her in the oven for 20 minutes, then uncovered for another 20. While I waited I got the chips ready, dosed them with a healthy whack of chicken salt and slid them in alongside the schnitz.

The toppings were watching, ready to go…

And after 40 minutes in the oven, the schnitz was done!

Time for the toppings, all loaded up and ready to go back into the hot box.

After a few minutes she was done!

Once she came out of the oven I assembled the parma on the plate with the chips (which I did manage to overcook slightly, but nothing terrible) Got my chip dip ready, cracked a beer and prepared to tuck in.

IT’S ALIVE!!!

I picked up the knife and fork, steadied them in my hands, I could feel my heart pounding as I slowly lowered them to the plate. I pierced the schnitzel with the fork as I brought the sharp knife down to the chicken, tearing through the flesh until I heard the clink  of metal on ceramic.

I lifted the fork, I could feel the added weight of the portion I had cut. As I lifted the chicken the scent of roast pork filled my nostrils. I couldn’t handle it any further. I closed my eyes and ate…

And it was fucking dreadful.

It’s hard to explain just how bad it was without being there to try it. But imagine buying a lemon gelato on a hot summers day, you bring the lemon gelato to your lips but when you bite into it instead of tasting lemon gelato it tastes like BBQ pork ribs.

Now I’m sure those pork ribs are delicious, but when the brain is expecting one thing and gets another it throws it out of whack.  The meal smelled very strongly of roast pork, yet it tasted like chicken parma, and on the travel from plate to mouth my brain got the signal loud and clear that “I’m getting roast pork, yum, I love roast po…OMGWTF WHY AM I EATING PARMA?!”

And the brain confusion wasn’t the only problem, the texture was terrible, I was expecting more of a ‘crunch’ to the crumbs but once they hit the parma they were extremely fluffy, it just didn’t work, as if the parma was covered in a very thin layer of salty marshmallows.

It seems odd to spend an entire post devoted to showing you how to cook something that I’m telling you is absolutely terrible, but thems the breaks.

Hope everyone had a great cup weekend, we’ll be visiting The Wharf Hotel this week, details up Friday (for real this time).

Next week - Parma crumbed in prawn crackers!*

The search continues…

*not really.

Attempt #120 - 'The Carlton'

[info]

When? – 25/10/12

Where? – The Carlton. 193 Bourke St. Melbourne

Price? - $23 (with a Monday and Thursday lunch special)

Website? - http://www.thecarlton.com.au/

Reviewers – Grace, Lee, Nikki, Tony[/info]

We finally made it to The Carlton!

For those with short memories (or new readers, If you’re new, Welcome! it’s great to have you here, I hope you’re enjoying yourself… What have you been up to lately?) The Carlton won the vote a few weeks back, but due to some kitchen problems they were unable to serve us a parma on the Thursday night, and we opted for The Elephant & Wheelbarrow instead.

It wasn’t fair that The Carlton didn’t get a go after a little slip up, they had won the vote fair and square, so rather than put up a new selection last week we called The Carlton the winners and headed over (while we’re on the subject, Voting for next week is open until Monday night, go and tell us where to go!).

Walking into the lobby of the multi-storey pub this promo caught my eye…

A very clever wording on that poster. “Vote for the best parma in town”, not “Voted”. Its a request, not a statement. Very sneaky Carlton, Very sneaky indeed!

I am very very sneaky sir… (interesting side note, Mr. Deeds is the only movie I’ve seen that features chicken parma. Adam Sandler takes Winona Ryder to a date and serves her parmas. The parmas stole the scene)

We snaked our way through the fairly busy Carlton and found a table in the dining room tucked in the back, I don’t know where to start describing the decor of The Carlton, “Eclectic” doesn’t even begin to cover it, think of a Safari Lodge while on LSD and you’re getting there. With red walls, polka dot rhino heads on the wall and a full sized Ostrich wearing a pearl necklace by the door, and that’s just the beginning.

The menu is straightforward, down to earth bar food. We found our target and placed the order. From where we were sitting we had a view of the kitchen door, meals must be popular on a Thursday as the door barely stopped swinging, with a tasty looking dish emerging each time. After a few swings our parmas arrived…

The schnitzel was quality. Unprocessed, thick and juicy breast with very tasty crumbs. It was one of those parmas where you didn’t mind that there was some nudity on the schnitzel, as the taste of the chicken held up without the need for toppings.

The cheese was plentiful and beautifully melty, the napoli was fresh, in abundance and carried a slight red wine flavour that gave it a great kick. The ham was there, but didn’t really add much to the taste of the dish. Overall this was a quality bird, lets hope the sides are just as good!

The sides weren’t just as good.

Always a bonus point for crinkle cut chips, but thats about where the positives end. They were overcooked, unsalted and not drained nearly well enough - every chip left an oily texture and taste in the mouth that was wholly unpleasant.

The salad was lazy, not terrible, but lazy. The whole thing consisted of lettuce, onion and cucumber with some cream dressing. The dressing was nice, the ingredients were fresh but I just wanted more. 

$23 is a bit steep for this bird. The parma is quality but as a whole meal it was a bit of a let down. The Carlton run a couple of parma specials -

(Note the continued use of their “Vote #1 best parma” line, sneaky buggers)

I’d be interested to check these out, as this would be a top notch meal for $15 with a free pot, but I wouldn’t be back at full price.

The Carlton parma was a quality bird I’d be happy to try again any day of the week, unfortunately some poor chips and lackluster salad let the meal down. All in all the Carlton is a pub that has to be experienced, just be sure to stop in on Monday or Thursday lunch and get yourself a parma on the cheap while you’re at it.

I’m sure the Ostrich would be glad to see you, but maybe he wouldn’t give a flock (bird puns. I hope they don’t ruffle your feathers. hah!)

Parma - 7.75

Chips - 4.75

Salad - 3.88

Value - 5.25

Total - 5.88

The search continues…