Attempt #193 - 'Arcadia Hotel'

[info]When? - 24th of July, 2014

Where? Arcadia Hotel, 2 Toorak Rd. South Yarra

Price? - $18.50

Website? - http://www.arcadiahotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

If you live anywhere near South Yarra you'll probably know The Arcadia as "the pub with the VB sign" - visible for miles around, especially when lit up at night, the red neon "Victoria Bitter" letters on the side of the pub are definitely a sight to behold.

We have had quite a few recommendations of for the Arcadia's parma over the years but never quite managed to get around to giving it a go, however when it got an endorsement over Twitter by none other than Rob "Millsy" Mills of Australian Idol, Wicked and Grease fame (among other things), we decided it was time to check it out!

Cheers again for the tweet Millsy!

I'm searching for a word to describe the decor of the Arcadia, and the best I can come up with is "Eclectic". Once you arrive it feels as if you take more than three steps in any direction and you're in a completely different pub. Different lighting, different floor covering, different vibe all together. We took a seat in the no mans land between the carpeted "country shed" inspired pool table area and the white-tiled, blue lit "snow" themed restaurant area. Checked the menu and spied our target...

We placed our orders at the bar, grabbed a pint and waited for the food to arrive - There is a Tuesday night parma special that I will talk about a little later, but as we were there on a Thursday it was "$12 steak night" and I must say, the steaks coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely superb. If this was any kind've indication as to the quality of parma we were going to receive, we were in for a top meal.

About 3/4's of a pint later our parmas appeared from the kitchen -

Without doubt the schnitzel quality of this parma was outstanding. Pure, white, thick, and juicy chicken breast was expertly coated in a layer of crispy crumbs. I always say you can tell a good parma when you'd be happy to eat the schnitzel without any toppings - this is one of those parmas. Cooked to perfection with the perfect balance of crunchy crumbs to the juiciness of the chicken, and the thickness of the breast ensured it stayed piping hot throughout.

The toppings were also pretty damn good. The cheese was tasty and cooked perfect bubbly golden brown. I would have loved some more napoli sauce, as it was there but not entirely noticeable, and its flavour got lost amongst the other elements of the dish. The standout for the toppings, however, was the ham. Thickly shaved and carrying a delicious smokey flavour that permeated the chicken - the ham was an outstanding addition to an already pretty fantastic parma.

Apologies for the dip in quality for the cross section pic, they dimmed the lights.

Chips were also pretty good. They were set beside the parma, well cooked and plenty of them, plus crinkle cut chips are always a bonus (although not quite as good as beer battered). They did need a little seasoning and would have really shone with some aioli. A little bit of friction arose when we requested tomato sauce that was never delivered, and we had to hunt it down ourselves ten minutes later - but that was a minor hiccup.

The salad started out great but went downhill quickly - A separate bowl, which is nice, contained a mixture of very well dressed lettuce, cherry tomatoes and onion - but not much else. A bit of cucumber or carrot would have been greatly appreciated, as well as some smaller leaves of lettuce (they were unwieldly, had to be cut before putting them on the fork).

I have zero complaints about paying $18.50 for the meal we received, and have absolutely no qualms recommending it to others - The Arcadia puts up a fantastic parma that I would go out of my way to try again in the future. To sweeten the deal Tuesday night is Parma Night at the Arcadia, with a few novelty topping options thrown in for good measure -

If the quality is consistent with the full priced parma (and if the look of the steaks on steak night is anything to go by, it is) then this is a fantastic deal that is definitely worth a go!

While the decor of the Arcadia is a little off-the-wall, they serve up a quality parma that I will be back for no doubt. One of the best we've had this year, a couple of minor tweaks and the parma at The Arcadia Hotel would be playing in the big leagues - definitely worth a look.

[pros]

• Amazing quality schnitzel
• Ham carried fantastic flavour
• Reasonably priced

[/pros][cons]

• Salad was boring

[/cons]

Parma - 8.17

Chips - 6.33

Salad - 6.00

Value - 8.33

Total - 7.40

The search continues...

Attempt #192 - 'Bull & Bear Tavern'

[info]When? - 17th of July, 2014

Where? Bull & Bear Tavern. 347 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

Price? - $20

Website? - http://www.thebullandbear.com.au/

Reviewers – Emma, Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

I've said it a few times before, but I've got a thing for underground pubs. I don't mean "underground" in the slang term, I mean literally underneath the ground - Something about sipping beers below street level just tickles my fancy-bone (and we've been to a couple in the past, such as the Turf Bar and the Sherlock Holmes) - So when I heard about the Bull & Bear, a pub that offered not one but two underground levels I was on board faster than a cat on a ship full of tuna.

We arrived, got primo parking right out the front and entered the pub's ground level - a standard lounge-bar type setup. Wood panelled walls, comfy chairs. Cosy. It was good, but I wanted to get underground, so we descended the stairs to the bistro ... and was met with bitter disappointment. All the lighting in the bistro was off, It was closed. "Fair enough" I thought and turned to go down to the next level, the "pool and pinball" room as touted by the website. More darkness. Everything was shut off and closed down - Only the top level was open. We trudged back up the stairs and took our seats, I looked around at the quite busy room and yearned to be underground - but we resigned to eating at street level. Disappointing, but it happens.

We checked the menu for our target ...

And placed our orders at the bar, grabbed a pint, sat and waited.

and waited. and waited. I think I was about two pints in before our meals arrived, about 45 minutes wait - I know they say "good food takes time to prepare" but the 2/3rds of the pub being closed followed by a 45 minutes wait for food meant our expectations for the meal were pretty low when they arrived...

Which is why it was nice to be pleasantly surprised. The schnitzel wasn't great - it was kind've small and painfully dry, but it was unprocessed, very thick chicken with a respectable crumb thickness. A slight overcooking, however, landed it with a few crispy-bordering-on-burnt edges as well as the aforementioned dryness.

The toppings were a mixed bag - The cheese was rather rubbery, possibly due to some of the parmas spending a little time under the heat lamps during the 45 minute waiting time. The napoli proved fresh, flavoursome and was bolstered with a peppery kick. There was ham on the parma, but it didn't quite add anything to the flavour spectrum, and served only to act as a barrier between topping and schnitzel, causing the toppings to slide around the parma when cutting due to lack of grip.

The chips were okay - plenty of them, mine were decently cooked but there were reports of some undercooked spud around the table. set beside the parma and well seasoned. They weren't anything exciting, but they served their purpose.

I like my salad swimming in dressing, so the garden salad accompanying the Bull & Bear parma was right up my alley. Standard garden salad of lettuce, cucumber, tomato, onion & carrot - absolutely drowned in balsamic dressing. I see this as a positive - you might see it as a negative. Quite enjoyable.

For $20 I doubt I'll be back for the Bull & Bear's parma. They advertise a $15 parma n' pot lunch deal from Mondays to Wednesdays, which is more of an acceptable price in relation to the dish. If you work in the area it might be worth popping to try on your lunch break (there are pre-order forms on the website if you want to get in and out quickly) but other than that I'd probably steer clear.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing particularly bad about the Bull & Bears parma, it just feels like wasted potential - which I feel is reflected in the pub itself. The Bull & Bear is in prime position - mere meters from Elizabeth Street, yet I had never heard of it before last week. It has three separate levels, massive rooms and what feels like the intent to promote and old school, friendly pub feel. Yet the place is empty. Two thirds of the pub sits in darkness while everyone else crams into the top room.

Nobody visiting your bistro on a Thursday? don't close it - Put on a ripper parma, perhaps even extend your parma and pot deal to dinner and you just might find bums on seats! The decor of the pub feels a bit dated, especially the rear projection TV sitting in the bistro which makes the place feel particularly nineties. A lick of paint, a bit of an update and a shake up of the menu and the Bull & Bear has potential to be one of the greats - Until then, its just okay.

[pros]

• Thick, unprocessed chicken breast
• Tasty napoli
• Not tight with the salad dressing

[/pros][cons]

• Dry, overcooked chicken
• Long wait for food

[/cons]

Parma - 5.92

Chips - 4.67

Salad - 5.33

Value - 4.67

Total - 5.30

The search continues...

Attempt #191 - 'Blue Moon'

[info]When? - 11th of July, 2014

Where? Blue Moon Bar, 380 Russell St. Melbourne

Price? - $17

Website? - http://www.bluemoonbar.com.au

Reviewers – Adam, Fridge, Lee [/info]

How exactly Blue Moon fell onto our radar escapes me, but it has been on our list for quite some time. Its an odd duck, situated in the lobby of the Space Hotel on Russell St, Blue Moon has a definite Backpacker's bar vibe - partially because everyone we heard speaking (both patrons and staff) seemed to have some variety of foreign accent.

We arrived at the pub and took a seat - be warned that seating at Blue Moon is a little sparse, if you've got a group of more than 4 you might have to do some re-arranging of furniture to fit everyone in (there was more seating in the smokers area, but on a chilly Melbourne July night that was pretty much out of the question).

Drink range is pretty standard, got your regulars on tap and a few options in bottles - A pint of draught ran $6.50 and a stubby of Blue Moon Belgian White was $7, hard to complain about those prices - and those feeling frisky can even indulge in a jelly shot at $4 a pop. Drink and food specials aplenty with a plenty of options for cheap tucker. There's a $12 parma & pot night on Tuesdays that would definitely be worth a gander.

We placed our orders at the bar ($17 for the parma) and waited for our meals to arrive. Blue Moon seems like one of those pubs that would be fantastic when its busy - I've got a feeling this place would be packed full of backpackers on a Saturday night, and the decor definitely screams more "nightclub" than it does "cafe/bar" - If you've ever been at a club late enough for the lights to come on then you'll know what I mean.

Before too long the food arrived...

The schnitzel wasn't great. Thick crumbs that, although crispy and well cooked, were a little too thick for my liking. I'm not 100% sure but I'm calling processed on this one - However even though it was a processed bird it carried a decent flavour - relatively juicy considering its origins and mostly well cooked.

Despite a fair bit of nudity the toppings did their darndest to save a lackluster schnitzel. The shaved ham was delicious and plentiful, the cheese was flavoursome and the dusting of herbs over the top was appreciated. I would have loved a little more napoli as it seemed lost amongst the other toppings and almost undetectable.

The chips were standard steak chips with some dusted herbs. They were well cooked and seasoned as well as delivered with a pot of tomato sauce without the need to request it. Served (mostly) to the side of the parma they remained crisp and tasty throughout the meal.

What I thought was going to be an awful rocket-only salad actually caught me by surprise as they had tossed sliced apple through the mix. It was a very welcome and original addition, however it was still just a rocket and apple salad, a little more substance would have done this one wonders.

$17 for this parma I think is a little steep considering how cheap the schnitzel would be. The British Crown Hotel in Collingwood offers a parma extremely similar to this one and they only charge $9.90 all day every day. I'd go back for the $12.00 parma n' pot deal, but I'd struggle to justify paying full price again.

The parma at Blue Moon seems to be the victim of limited resources. I get the feeling that there is an extremely talented chef in the kitchen doing his best to produce a quality meal with the ingredients that he's been given, and he succeeds for the most part - for a processed schnitzel parma its actually pretty decent, one of the better ones I've had. But if you're going to do a cheap parma, especially at a hostel, you've got to charge hostel prices - $17 is just a bit steep for what we received. If they dialled the register back to $15 or less? I'd recommend it, otherwise give it a miss - unless its on a Tuesday.

The $4 Jelly shots were tasty though

[pros]

• Tasty toppings
• Apple through the salad a unique choice

[/pros][cons]

• Processed schnitzel
• A little pricey on non-special nights

[/cons]

Parma - 5.33

Chips - 5.67

Salad - 6.33

Value - 6.00

Total - 5.73

The search continues...

Attempt #190 - "Moona Bar & Cafe"

 

[info]When? - 26th of June, 2014

Where? Moona Bar & Cafe. 12 Hinkins St, Moonee Ponds

Price? - $19

Website? - Facebook Page

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony Q  [/info]

First things first, big apologies that this week's attempt is mere meters from last week's, I normally try and vary things up and never hit the same area twice in consecutive weeks, however some troubles with the parma bus this week limited our possible travel distance. Hopefully its fixed by next week and we can check out some spots on the other side of town!

But until then - Moona Bar.

The words "hidden back-streets bar" is not something you hear often when discussing the Moonee Ponds pub scene, I'm struggling to think of any pub but this one that isn't sitting on Mount Alexander Road, so in that respect Moona is a bit of a first for the area.

Tucked away on Hinkins St. (kind've behind the Sporting Globe, but closer to The Junction) amongst a slew of warehouses sit the very brightly adorned pub. Inside is a very open plan space. Bar up one end, couches and an open fire down the other and some tables in the middle.

Photo courtesy of Moona Bar's facebook page

We took a seat and checked the menu - Horror. We couldn't see a parma.

Had a slight panic attack, but was informed by the kind waitress that the parma was on the specials board, we looked over and saw it, written in bright neon paint, staring us in the face.

I snapped a photo but it didn't come out too well, But it was $19, and I'll get to the specifics shortly.

We ordered our parmas, had a chat, and about a pot-of-draught later our meals arrived.

The schnitzel was fantastic, no two ways about it. Pure, succulent chicken breast crumbed with a bold mix of dukkah, lemon & thyme, giving this parma an extremely original flavour - it was a ballsy moved but it definitely paid off for them.

I love the spice mix and hope they don't change it - however if I could make one change it would be that they just back it off slightly. It was delicious, but very rich - and by the time we got to the last mouthful it was getting a little overpowering.

The napoli was fresh, chunky and in abundance, just how I like it. Plenty of cheese cooked to a crusty golden brown. There was ham on the dish, but its flavour was a little lost amongst the spices - its inclusion was appreciated none the less.

Chips were pretty standard, but there were more than enough of them and they were cooked to perfection. If I'm nitpicking I would have loved a bit more seasoning on them or even a dipping sauce would have topped off this side perfectly.

The salad was also a bit adventurous. A pretty standard garden salad with carrot, onion, lettuce, tomato & cucumber, but it was topped with a passionfruit dressing that really added a freshness to the dish. Another risk, another pay off.

For $19 I walked away stuffed, and would be more than happy to pay another $19 to have that meal again. There is a Wednesday parma night for $10 that Moona are advertising, but from what I hear it is slightly smaller, and a more 'traditional' option - To be honest I'd rather shell out the extra nine bucks and get the bigger, tastier version - but the option is there if you want it. I'll be back to Moona, The staff were friendly, the vibe at the pub was pleasant and the food was spot on (not to mention the massive projector screen for sports games).

The Moona Bar is original. Both the pub itself and the parma is unlike anything I've experienced before - in a good way. If I were management at Moona I would get the parma off the specials board and on to the menu exactly how it is - That little bit of originality took it to new heights without altering the essence of the dish too much to be considered a "novelty" parma.

If they do decide the mix things up again I will be a little disappointed but I'm confident that I'll enjoy whatever they come up with next, as the expert execution of this parma shows that there is definitely some skill in the kitchen. If you want something a little different in Moonee Ponds I definitely recommend giving it a go.

[pros]

• Bold, original spices in the crust that I've never come across before
• Tasty, fresh salad

[/pros][cons]

• While delicious, the spice was a little overpowering by the end, could be backed off slightly

[/cons]

Parma - 7.70

Chips - 6.66

Salad - 6.74

Value - 7.00

Total - 7.16

The search continues...

Attempt #189 -'La Four Seasons Schnitzel Haus'

[info]When? - 19th of June, 2014

Where? La four Seasons Schnitzel Haus. 2/1 Puckle St. Moonee Ponds

Price? - $21 standard parma, novelties vary in price from there

Website? - Facebook Page

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony Q  [/info]

I stumbled upon La Four Seasons a few weeks ago, while switching trams on the way to our parma at The Waterloo Cup Hotel. Not even being aware of its existence, the words "Schnitzel Haus" emblazoned in gold on the window caught my eye and I investigated further - What I found was an extensive novelty parma menu, probably the biggest we've seen this side of town. I did a little research and discovered that what used to be "La Four Seasons Pizza & Pasta" had recently undergone a management change, complete redo, and come out the other side as a "Schnitzel Haus". My curiosity was piqued, so last night we loaded up the parma bus and went to check it out.

The interior of the cosy little restaurant is decked out quite nicely, nothing amazing but definitely nothing offensive - They even went to the trouble of putting up a TV in the corner and what appeared to be a large projector screen on the other side of the room - not sure what that is used for as it was inactive at the time, functions perhaps?

Beer list was pretty standard for a restaurant - mostly bottled, but with the surprise option of Asahii on tap, which went down quite nicely.

We opened our menus and looked at the mammoth selection before us -

It was nice to see that La Four Seasons didn't just conform to the standard "Novelty" parmas you seem to see quite often these days and seem to have put some actual thought into coming up with something original. BBQ Sause, bacon and blue cheese? Never seen that before! Marinated steak fillet, onions and mushrooms? Thats a new one as well!

Although heavily tempted to go for a novelty, I channeled my inner parma purist and went with the original. The other 6 at the table sampled from the novelty menu, but we will get to that later.

Before too long (about one of those custom Asahii glasses) our parmas appeared from the kitchen, complete with cute identifying flags... Lets take a look at what we were served -

First up, the standard Parmigiana -

"The Godfather 2" Napoli, bacon, salami, chorizo, roast capsicum, red onions, olives & mozzarella -

"The Oh ha-ha" Chilli con carne, avocado, sour cream, mexican salsa, mozzarella -

"The Licke'n Finger" BBQ Sauce, bacon, blue cheese, fried onions, mozzarella

"The Dusty Bull" Bolognese, bacon, chorizo, mushrooms, mozarella -

Comparing my standard parma to everyone's fancy creation left me a little deflated, mine looked boring in comparison - yet I picked up my cutlery and tucked in.

The schnitzel was decent quality - big enough with relatively good thickness with a non-offensive level of crumbing. Pure chicken breast from what I could tell and it carried quite a lot of flavour - my spirits were actually lifted upon my first bite, as what I thought was going to be a boring bird actually handled itself quite well.

Toppings were where this parma shone. The ham and cheese both had a fantastic flavour to them that permeated the entire dish. I will say it was a little light on the napoli but that is a forgivable sin. Perhaps it is because my expectations were low, but I was plesantly surprised with this parma, and word from around the table seemed to agree with me.

I did the obligatory taste-test of a couple of other parmas around the table and ... damn. I thought mine was flavourful - the novelties tasted like someone smacked me in the face with a sack filled with flavour - A lot going on with those ones! (in a good way)

Now the one prickly bit with this parma were the sides. Rather than going for a straight up "chips and salad", as a normal pub would do, Four Seasons gives you the option on ordering of choosing between chips, salad veggies. I hate choices like this. Naturally most of our group went for the chips, but luckily the health conscious among us opted for the salad, so we were able to score both.

One benefit of not getting salad is there is more room on the plate for chips - There were more than enough and well seasoned with a dusting of herbs. Slightly undercooked, but not noticeably so in taste, plus the addition of a pot of (extremely strong, I still stink) garlic aioli is always appreciated.

I didn't try the salad personally, but it also looked pretty good. plenty of ingredients, crisp, fresh and not tight on the creamy dressing (probably negating any health benefit one would normally gain from opting for the salad, but what are you gonna do?)

The standard parma ran at $21, which is okay (although for $21 I kind've want both chips and salad), From there though, the cost of the novelties takes a sharp upturn, with the most expensive topping out at $25.90 (The cow boy, topped with marinated steak fillet). Those who had the novelties around the table seemed happy to pay what they did, so I can't judge on that, I just know that my wallet would sting slightly shelling out $25 for a novelty parma and still having to chose between chips and salad. Although saying that, I did not walk away hungry, it was a very filling meal.

I saw a takeaway menu sitting on the counter when we were settling the bill, I didn't look inside but if the parma menu is also available for take away I would keep this place in mind! My low expectations were absolutely smashed and we were served up a parma that was quite enjoyable. Although I'm a parma purist, and the standard parma does hold its own I would recommend going for one of the novelties - from what I tasted ... Wow, to steal Arnott's Pizza Shapes latest slogan, its in-your-face flavour.

[pros]

• Original range of novelty parmas
• Garlic aioli supplied with chips

[/pros][cons]

• Have to choose between chips and salad

[/cons]

Parma - 7.12

Chips - 5.93

Salad - 5.00

Value - 6.12

Total - 6.26

The search continues...

Attempt #188 - 'The Royal Derby Hotel'

[info]When? - 12th of June, 2014

Where? The Royal Derby Hotel. 446 Brunswick St. Fitzroy

Price? - $21

Website? - http://royalderbyhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Carly, Dale, Daniel, Fridge, Jo, Kim, Kylie, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Pete, Shanan, Stefo, Tony S, Tony Q  [/info]

I say this about a few pubs, but The Royal Derby is one of those spots I have been past a zillion times yet never really considered checking out. Sitting on the corner of Alexandra Parade and Brunswick Street in Fitzroy, it just never registered as a place to check out - I always just sailed past on the way to our many other parmas down Brunswick Street. Maybe I'm just not very observant.

However last night we didn't go past, we went inside - and I've got to say I was pleasantly surprised. As a pub its got everything you could want. Decent range of beers on tap, Plenty to keep you entertained (pool tables, trivia machine, TAB & Big Buck Hunter) and what seems to be a recently renovated interior, which was very cosy and inviting - not to mention an abundance of TV's around to catch the footy, If I lived anywhere near the area I'd be happy to call it my local.

Signs on the wall indicated that the back of the pub was home to "Fitzroy's biggest beer garden" So we poked our heads out the door to find a very impressive setup - I'm not sure how valid the claim of "Biggest in Fitzroy" is, but it's definitely a contender. Heaps of space, outdoor pool tables, plenty of heaters and even more TV's. I was liking the Royal Derby more by the minute.

We took our seats and checked the menu -

*Note, this is a grab from the website, the price is now listed at $21, not $19.

Target sighted. We placed our orders at the bar and fed some change into Big Buck Hunter to kill some time. There was a big group of us this week (15 people) so it took a good pint before the parmas started arriving from the kitchen, forgivable as it was a big order.

It looked great on the plate, and I was starving so we tucked in without hesitation, and on my first bite I was let down. My parma was luke-warm at best, a sentiment shared with about half of the table - A note to pubs, on a big order like this I would rather you bring out the food as its ready as opposed to letting the ones you finish first die under the heat lamps as you get the other ones ready. The crumbs had turned soggy and there was no crunch to them whatsoever.

Temperature aside the schnitzel was of an average size, average thickness, thin crumbs and real chicken. All up rather middle-of-the-road foundations for this bird.

The toppings, like the schnitzel, were all very so/so. Good coverage of cheese, napoli and ham - but everything was bland and flavourless. Technically all the ingredients were there, but there was nothing standout about this parma. Not technically bad, but not great.

The chips, on the other hand, were fantastic. Well seasoned, golden brown beer battered beauties. Definitely the hero of the dish, My only complaint is that there weren't more of them - I would have loved another handful. Pots of tomato sauce were also supplied on each plate without request - The chips were good enough to carry themselves without it, but it was an appreciated addition.

Coleslaw instead of a garden salad is always a nice surprise, and this coleslaw was fresh and tasty. Sometimes coleslaw with a parma can get a little too rich if you're served too much of it, and I think if there had've been any more on the plate it would have started to veer that way - but this was the perfect amount, not too big, not too small. A fine accompaniment to the dish.

For $21 this parma definitely filled a hole. As I said earlier there was nothing particularly bad about it (other than the temperature - but I'm hoping that was an isolated incident). For $21 I probably wouldn't go out of my way to track it down again - But if I found myself at The Royal Derby again I wouldn't object too harshly. On Wednesday night's there is a $15 pot and parma deal, If you were going to check out this parma I'd definitely say to go then as that's not a bad deal at all.

After dinner we pumped a few more dollars into buck hunter and rounded out the night with a couple more beers. We don't normally hang out for long after the deed is done, So I guess this is a testament to the inviting nature of The Royal Derby, it's a pub I'd be happy to go back to for a pint any day of the week, would be a great spot to catch the footy and sink a few beers with mates on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Reviews for average parmas always feel like nothingness ... but thats pretty much an apt description of the Royal Derby's bird. Nothingess. Other than the chips nothing really "popped" on this plate - But it was a perfectly fine meal none the less. Check it out if you want, or don't ... I'm not sure.

[pros]

• Great chips
• Coleslaw instead of garden salad

[/pros][cons]

• Bland parma
• Was served lukewarm

[/cons]

Parma - 4.53

Chips - 5.75

Salad - 4.80

Value - 5.35

Total - 4.99

The search continues...

Attempt #187 - 'The Shaw Davey Slum'

 

[info]When? - 5th of June, 2014

Where? The Shaw Davey Slum. 171-175 Elgin St. Carlton

Price? - $19, sides not included.

Website? - http://theshawdaveyslum.com.au/

Reviewers –  Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

**Edit 21/08/15 - We have since revisited the Shaw Davey Slum. Has it improved in the last twelve months? Find out here!

 **Edit 8/7/14 - It would appear Shaw Davey has seen some sense and lowered the cost of the parma since this review - $10 now gets you the parma, with the chips and salad still to be ordered separately at about $5 a piece, so you could get away with the meal for around $20. Keep that in mind when reading the following review. Cheers!

The newest brainchild of the pub group behind Father's Office and Asian Beer Cafe, The Shaw Davey Slum is one of the most unique bars I have been into in quite some time.

We have reviewed this venue before, back when it was Pugg Mahones - however walking into the Shaw Davey it is unrecognisable as the Irish pub it once was. Neon, purple, silver, the near assault to the senses is enough to give you diabetes just from walking in the door, in a good way. They definitely have a vision for this bar and its worth a visit for the aesthetic itself. The cocktail list reads like something from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and the staff are all dressed in appropriately 60's garb (think 'Austin Powers' era) - It's a spectacle, and I have to say definitely geared to appeal to those without a Y chromosome (other than the urinals made from halved beer kegs and beer taps shaped like cricket stumps - gotta admit thats pretty cool).

A couple of gripes off the bat, Firstly - Plastic cups? We ordered schooners at the bar (the largest glass size they have, no pints) and they were served in plastic cups. Now I understand that Bang serves drinks in plastic cups at 3am Sunday morning, but its 7pm on a Thursday in the backstreets of Carlton, the place is empty - you can trust me with a glass. I also have to say that, while looking pretty cool, the bar stools at this pub are criminally uncomfortable, steel bucket-seats that have a horrible lip at the front that dig into your thighs, not to mention tip in all directions so you always feel in danger of toppling off. We moved into the dining area where we were trusted with glasses for our water. Our menus were delivered and we spied our meal.

We've never had a menu with so many options for type of schnitzel - nice to have the choice but everyone at the table stuck with the standard chicken. Bacon bolognese definitely caught my eye, that would mean three completely different types of meat on the same plate! Quite a feat.

Now before I continue I have to say - The Shaw Davey Slum is a fantastic looking pub. They have done an amazing job with everything - from the renovations through to the cocktail list. They had a vision, they spared no expense and it really shows - not to mention every member of the staff we dealt with were friendly and warm, fantastic to see and I'd be happy to go back for a drink.

I say all these good things now, because its about to get bad.

The first red flag popped up the moment we ordered our four parmas, the waitress said "now you know when you get the parma its just the parmigiana" A little cryptic, we weren't quite sure what she meant until she walked away and the penny dropped.

No sides.

We called her back to confirm and yes, the parma on the menu comes with no sides and you have to order them separately. We looked at the menu again and found the sides section -

$7 for shoestring fries. I wasn't bringing myself to order a $7 salad with my parma, so we ordered 2 bowls of fries between the four of us - they arrived minutes before our parmas did - but more on that a bit later.

First up - The parmas themselves...

Size-wise the schnitzel was impressive, each parma was its own unique shape pointing to an unprocessed and hand-hammered chicken breast. These were some big parmas and deserving of the name "Mega-Parma".

There was a great covering of toppings (we will discuss their quality shortly) with almost no visible nudity. The "cornflake" crumbs were pretty much undetectable as such and carried little to no crunch, which was a little disappointing as I love a good crunch to my schnitzel.

So/so foundations, on to the toppings...

Lets start with the biggest problem. The bacon bolognese.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love bacon, and those who have never tried bacon, so the thought of a bacon bolognese sauce on a parma definitely got my motor running, however all that potential was completely squandered with this dish as the sauce was so horribly overcooked and dry that it tasted more like fried mince meat with a tablespoon of tomato paste stirred through - I honestly don't think it falls under the definition of a "sauce" when its this dry. Yes, there was bacon bits mixed through it, but I had to look to find them as they were completely undetectable in the taste of the bolognese.

The bolognese completely killed the dish. It was so dry that the beef bits gave it an almost "gravelly" texture in the mouth, like eating spoonfulls of unseasoned taco meat with cheese. The flavour overtook everything and the parma wound up tasting more like a lasagne than it did a parmigiana.

The mixture of gruyere and mozzarella cheeses was definitely unique, but I can't help but feel it would have benefitted greatly from a bit of tasty or cheddar cheese as well - something to give it a little bite - something to counteract the bolognese a little as both gruyere and mozzarella are known as melting cheeses and can tend to be a little flavourless.

This was a heavy parma. Take a look at the cross section below and you will see that there's much more topping than there is chicken. Completely overpowering and so heavy. I'm not normally one to leave anything on the plate, but I couldn't finish this parma, nobody at the table could and we all left feeling a little ill from what we had just ingested.

Now to the debacle that was the sides.

As I mentioned earlier, the $19 parma included no sides, we consulted the sides menu and ordered two bowls of shoestring fries at $7 a piece - they arrived shortly before the parmas did -

Now I don't know about you, but when I pay $7 for what is essentially potato I want a lot of potato. A $7 bowl of chips should easily feed two people, but this serving was barely enough for one. The aioli served with the fries was pretty good, probably the best part of the dish and during the latter stages of my meal I found myself spreading a little on my chicken as to give my palate some relief from the bolognese onslaught.

If you've been reading Parma Daze for long you'll know we have a "You don't win friends with salad" contingency, explained fully in the glossary it basically means if a parma is served without salad it gets an automatic 5 in the scores, so that the salad score doesn't affect the average too much - however our opinion of lack-of-salad is duly noted in our "Value" score. It works for those pubs who decide that they don't want to waste our time on the green stuff, and for the people who couldn't care less about the salad - This rule will be invoked for this review as we didn't want to shell out another $7 each for what was in all likelihood a lettuce leaf.

But now we reach a conundrum - We have never, in one-hundred-and-eighty-seven parmas, been served a parma that doesn't come with chips (not counting the American style ones served with spaghetti, but even then you got some sort of carb-heavy side with your schnitzel that we can score).

So I don't know what to do. Should a new rule be invented? A "You don't win friends with chips" clause that works the same as the salad one? Otherwise the Shaw Davey will get donuts across the board for their chips and will drag their score down significantly - but at the same time, you do win friends with chips. Everyone loves chips. Should they be rewarded for not providing us with the chippy goodness that everyone wants?

I don't know what to do, so I'm leaving it to you - I'm going to make a poll below that will be active for seven days (from today until the time the next review goes up) and you will have a choice. Do we award the Shaw Davey a "You don't win friends with chips" rule? or do they get zero'es across the board for their chip score. Make your choice.

**UPDATE**

Voting is now closed, the people have spoken and the fate of the Shaw Davey Slum is sealed -

Thats a landslide decision if I've ever seen one! Looks like "You don't win friends with chips" is not gonna be a rule - chips are pretty popular it would seem!

The score will now be adjusted with a zero for chips.

Enough of my opinion - here is what the others at the table thought -

Interestingly enough The Shaw Davey Slum has an impressive range of lunchtime specials... From 11am to 3pm daily you can get a parma for $10. And guess what - It comes with chips! Well, your choice of chips or salad, but I don't know anybody in their right mind that would take the latter over the former. For $10 with chips? ehhhh, get rid of the bolognese and maybe we'll talk, otherwise I'll give it a miss.

Value-wise this parma is horrible. If I wanted a parma with chips and salad it would cost me $33. Add a schooner to that and I'm down $41. nineteen bucks for what we received is just criminal, and the fact that they offer the parma with chips to the lunchtime crowd makes me think that its nothing more than a scam to rip a few extra bucks out of my pocket. $7 for that tiny bowl of chips was an absolute joke, no matter how good the aioli was.

I stand by everything I said at the start of the review. The Shaw Davey Slum is a sight to behold. The venue itself is a spectacle that is well worth checking out. They have done a fantastic job fitting out the pub and the staff couldn't made us feel more at home. The Shaw Davey is trying very hard to be unique, which works well for the venue, but not for the parma. They need to dial it back, get back to the basics - ditch the bacon bolognese and go for a fresh, well spiced chunky napoli and put a slice of bacon on top - They're trying too hard with this dish and it shows, sometimes the classics are classic for a reason.

Oh, and Reviewer Nikki wanted me to show everyone that her parma looked like a wombat.

Yep.

[pros]

• Real, hand pounded chicken breast
• Great aioli with the side serve of chips

[/pros][cons]

• No sides included in price of meal, chips and salad both $7 each extra
• Soggy crumbs
• overcooked, dry and overpowering bolognese sauce
• flavourless cheese

[/cons]

Parma - 2.50

Chips - 0

Salad - 5 - You don't win friends with salad rule invoked

Value - 0.75

Total - 2.15

The search continues...

Attempt #186 - 'The Waterloo Cup Hotel'

[info]When? - 29th of May, 2014

Where? The Waterloo Cup Hotel. 252 Maribyrnong Rd, Moonee Ponds.

Price? - $22 full size, $16 half serve

Website? - http://www.waterloocuphotel.com.au/

Reviewers –  Bearder, Cale, Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony [/info]

The Waterloo was my first pub. Not the first pub I ever went into, but the first pub I considered "mine", My local, my personal version of Cheers.

Wednesday nights at the Waterloo when I was 18 were everything I could have wanted. The beers were cheap, there was a Daytona machine in the corner and plenty of pool tables - sure it was dirty, but every strip of masking tape on that ratty old couch just added character.

Then the renovations came, all the dank was stripped away, the pub had a different vibe and we moved on. We discovered Jimmy Rowes and the rest is history.

Not long after starting Parma Daze we were driving past The Waterloo on the way to a different attempt (from memory I think it was The Doot, back in 2010). We stopped at the traffic lights and we saw a sign in the window advertising "$5 PARMAS", accompanied by a photo of the smallest, driest, most processed hunk of crap I had ever seen ... and this was on their advertising, so its safe to assume the final product was at least 23% worse than that.

Sitting at those lights we made a vow ... we would never do the Waterloo parma. It would be a waste of time, money and effort to knowingly go and try a terrible parma.

But as the old song goes, Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted too.

The Waterloo has recently undergone a management change, and last week I received an email from a delighted customer who had just tried the parma. He compared it to the Imperial parma, which definitely piqued my interest. Could it be? Had the Waterloo lifted their game? We loaded up the parma bus and went to investigate.

I arrived at the 'loo at around 6:15, tables were being set up for the weekly poker night, so I grabbed a pint and pulled up a chair (nothing spectacular about the beer selection here, The basics). Just sitting there I was having flashbacks to all my drunken Wednesday nights in that room. While waiting I overheard two separate groups talk about how good the parma was. I was starting to get excited. My expectations were rising. The rest of the group arrived and we moved through to the Bistro and took a seat, checked the menu and placed our orders.

The menu offers two different sized of parma, the regular size runs at $22, while a half size is also available for $16. If anything we now knew this parma was going to be big, as you wouldn't offer a half sized version of a small parma - that'd just be a chicken nugget.

Don't let the perspective fool you, thats a pretty impressively sized parma. The massive plate throws things off (quite possibly the largest plate we have ever been served a parma on, it'd be a close tie between here and the parma platter at Maxy's).

Every schnitzel around the table had its own unique shape, so no processed garbage here. I picked up my cutlery and tucked in. The schnitzel itself was pretty good. The crumbs carried an amazing crunch. It was crispy and fresh, my only complaint about the schnitzel itself would be its thickness - while it was pretty sizeable on the plate it had been hammered out just a little too much. I know some people prefer a thinner schnitz with a wider surface area, but I would have liked a bit more beef to this bird.

Pretty good topping coverage, I didn't mind the small areas of nudity as the schnitzel stood up on its own without the toppings. Ham was tasty but the three-cheese blend was the star, carrying a fantastic flavour throughout the dish. Negatives? The napoli. It tasted okay but there wasn't nearly enough. Twice as much napoli and would have been spot on, but without enough nap the meal felt a little dry at times.

Chips were solid. Separate bowl, beer battered and well cooked. Could have been seasoned a little more but thats a minor complaint - pots of tomato sauce were brought out without hesitation on request.

Garden salad was fresh, crispy and soaking in balsamic, just how I like it - however there were no surprised here. Just your basic garden salad (lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber & carrot) for what it was it was good, but nothing to write home about.

For $22 nobody was walking away from that table hungry, So I was quite happy with that price. In the front bar there was a $15 Poker-night parma special but I can't vouch that its the same meal as in the bistro (the menu in the front bar only mentioned mozzarella, whereas the bistro menu touted a three-cheese blend).

Expectations were shattered with this parma. I don't think anyone at the table anticipated that they would enjoy this meal as much as they did. It's not a parma without problems, but if they upped the thickness slightly and laid the napoli on a little thicker it'd certainly be a contender. At this stage I'd say its worth trying out if you're in the area - Its not far from Flemington Racecourse or the Showgrounds, so it'd be a decent way to cap off a trip to either of those events.

[pros]

• Massive parma
• Beautifully crunchy crumbs
• Tasty 3 cheese blend

[/pros][cons]

• Needs more napoli
• Hammered a little too thin

[/cons]

Parma - 7.23

Chips - 6.55

Salad - 6.17

Value - 7.37

Total - 6.91

The search continues...

Attempt #185 - 'Clifton Hill Brewpub'

[info]When? - 22nd of May, 2014

Where? The Clifton Hill Brewpub, 89 Queens Pde. Clifton Hill

Price? - $19 regular parma, price of varieties fluctuates

Website? - http://cliftonhillbrewpub.com.au/

Reviewers –  Bearder, Dale, Ella, Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

"The best beer is drunk in the shadow of the brewery", A quote emblazoned on the front of the Clifton Hill Brewpub's immense drinks menu. This is a pub that loves its beer, both made in house or sourced from around the country, The Clifton Hill Brewpub is an amazing place to stop in for a fantastic craft beer.

But what about the parma? We came across The Clifton Hill Hotel after reading This Article about good pubs to find Craft Beers in Melbourne - and they aren't wrong, if the introductory paragraph didn't make that clear.

We arrived at the pub, the newly refurbished decor is very impressive. Sleek, stylish while retaining a classic pub atmosphere. Open fireplaces and a pool table really help to up the "cosy" factor while still managing to feel new and modern. We started our night by losing a few bucks on the "Hotwire" quiz machine over a pint before moving into the dining room.

Before getting to the parmas we had another gander at the drinks menu, a staple of the brewpub and personal favourite of mine is the tasting paddle - and The Clifton did not disappoint - $12 gets you this beauty -

Perfection. Of the four beers on the paddle I'd have to say my favourite was the Clifton Hill Dark Ale - I normally cannot drink too many dark ales before filling up but this one was buttery smooth, I could sit on these all day.

Now, to the main event. First up there are a couple of novelty options to cover -

It's nice to see an Eggplant option for the vego's, I'm constantly asked for suggestions of good vegetarian parmas, so I will definitely remember the Clifton Hill in that regard.

Orders were placed, mostly for the standard Chicken Parma but there were a couple of Mexicans and a Chorizo in the mix as well. I finished my paddle, went to the bar and got a full pint of Dark Ale, took a few sips and the parmas arrived -

Impressive from the word go. The schnitzel was thick, well cooked, unbelievably juicy and chock-full of flavour. No processed schnitzel here, this was pure white, quality breast that I'd have trouble faulting.

A fantastic foundation to the dish (increasingly rare for a pub with novelty parmas on offer).

The toppings were also hard to fault. 100% coverage on mine (although there were some reports of minor nude schnitz around the table) Heaps of golden brown, bubbly cheese and plenty of fresh, chunky napoli.

The nap was definitely the star of the dish, it was flavourful, well spiced and carried fantastic flavour throughout the dish. I said "fresh" already but I really think it needs to be said again, definitely a standout element. If I had one minor criticism it would be that it was a touch too watery, which leaked through to the chicken and took some of the crunch out of the crumbing on the schnitzel. A minor complaint to what was an outstanding parma.

The chips were an absolute triumph. A tick in every box -

• Served in a bowl/basket to the side of the parma? Check.
• Well seasoned? Check.
• Crinkle cut? Check.
• Aioli for dipping? Check.
• Tomato sauce for dipping? Check.
• Decent serving? Check.
• Well cooked? Check.

Absolutely fantastic. One thing I will mention is the aioli. I was both excited and intrigued when I saw that all of the parmas came with "beer aioli", A perfect fit for the Clifton Hill Brewpub. Now I'm not exactly sure what Beer Aioli actually is supposed to taste like, before yesterday evening I didn't even know that Beer Aioli was a thing that existed in this world, but I was keen to give it a go.

The verdict? Garlic. that's all I could taste - Not that its a bad thing, garlic aioli is one of my most loved chip-dips on the planet. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, nor where I'm really going with this sentence. I guess you could sum it up with "the beer aioli tastes a lot like garlic aioli, which is still kind've a good thing I guess."

After all of the positives the salad was a bit of a let down. Also served in a bowl to the side (good start) It was a standard garden salad of lettuce, onion, cucumber and tomato. My major issue was that once you got through the first layer of goodies on top all that was left was a bowl of undressed lettuce. It was fresh, but a little dry, bland, and definitely needed a good toss.

$19 for a meal like that? I'm a happy chappy. There's a $20 "Parma, Pot & Trivia" night on Tuesdays that would definitely be worth checking out should you be in the area, very tempting.

All in all The Clifton Hill Brewpub is a solid little package. Great atmosphere, fantastic beers and a parma worth bragging about. I didn't try the novelty toppings myself but word around the table was all positive - I got a look at them and from what I could tell it seemed as if they didn't go overboard with the changes, every addition did its best to subtly help improve the flavour of the parma while not being overpowering and still retaining the essence of what a parma is. I'd recommend this parma with or without novelty toppings, I don't think you could go wrong either way.

Next time you get a chance definitely pop down to the Clifton Hill Brewpub for a pint and some tucker, you won't be disappointed.

[pros]

• Fantastic parma, fresh and tasty
• Phenomenal chips. Well seasoned, separate bowl, delicious chip dip.

[/pros][cons]

• Boring salad

[/cons]

Parma - 8.42

Chips - 8.12

Salad - 5.92

Value - 7.67

Total - 7.71

The search continues...

Attempt #184 - 'Iddy Biddy'

[info]When? - 15th of May, 2014

Where? - Iddy Biddy, 35-39 Blessington St. Saint Kilda

Price? - $22.50 regularly, $15 Thursday parma night

Website? - http://www.iddybiddy.com.au/

Reviewers –  Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

When it comes to St. Kilda we haven't had a whole lot of luck, With the exception of St. Kilda East all we have come across is a bunch of  "meh, blah, and okay" - nothing has really blown us out of the water.

So when I heard about this pub I was happy to try and put a win for St. Kilda on the board, and just around the corner from Luna Park it was smack-dab in the center.

We heard about the pub through our old mate Brunsy, former frontman for the band that used to play at The Prince of Wales on Saturday nights, and who now has a regular Thursday and Saturday gig at Iddy Biddy. The promise of a good parma and live tunes was too good to pass up! We loaded up the Parma Bus and headed over.

For a pub named 'Iddy Biddy' its actually quite spacious. It definitely keeps a cosy vibe but at no point did I ever feel cramped. Plenty of seating on both sides of the bar, as well as a tonne of table space out the front - a perfect spot for people-watching.

We found a seat around an old school tabletop arcade machine which doubled as our table, this is one of those pubs you could get lost in for hours. Open fire, wooden tables, massive leather couches that you just sink into with a cold pint, just my kind of place.

Now as for the menu there are usually two options, a $22.50 regular parma and a $24 mexican -

However Thursday night at Iddy Biddy is Parma Night, dropping the price down to $15 (bonus!) as well as throwing in a few beer specials...

We ordered our meals at the bar, kicked back, took in some live tunes and awaited our parmas arrival. Before too long at all my game of Frogger was interrupted by four parmas hitting the table...

First thought - massive. The biggest parma we've seen in some time. You'd think with a parma this big for $15 it'd be a processed piece of crap but amazingly this was pure chicken breast. I'm not sure what kind of mutant mega-chook was used to make this particular breast, but real chicken it was.

It eclipsed the whole plate (if you weren't paying attention it could easily be confused with a small cheese pizza) there are chips and salad under there, but we'll get to those in a minute. The chicken breast itself was pure white, juicy and flavourful - a little ironic that a joint called "Iddy Biddy" serves up a schnitzel bigger than my head (and to those who haven't met me, I've got a big head. Huge.)

Normally with a parma this size you run into what we have dubbed "Big Parma Syndrome", which occurs when a parma has size but falls short on flavour. Fortunately for Iddy Biddy this was not the case. Even though the parma was massive there was 100% topping coverage.

Plenty of perfectly grilled cheese, The napoli was flavourful and well seasoned and the ham carried a wonderful smokey flavour throughout the dish. I struggled to finish this parma purely due to its size, but at no point did it feel like a chore to get down, every bite was interesting - No BPS here.

Now, the downfall in having a parma this big is that it absolutely covered the chips. I go out of my way in these reviews to not bring up the "parma on the chips" complaint - its cliché and played out at this point. 90% of the time as soon as your parma hits the table you can scrape the chips out from underneath. It's not a huge drama.

However.

With a parma this size it was absolutely impossible to rescue them before downing at least half of the schnitzel, which really did leave what started as a good chip (pub chip, well cooked and seasoned) in a bit of a soggy mess by the time we could get to them. Parmas this big need separate bowls for the sides, as not even the salad could completely escape the sweaty prison of this godzilla of parmas.

Other than that the salad was decent - nothing amazing, standard garden salad of lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber and a pretty tasty dressing. It did the job. However I eat my salad last, so most of my greens were hot by the time I got to them, having sat under the parma for so long. I say again, separate bowls.

I nitpicked a lot at the end there, but I'll clarify - If we didn't go to a different pub for a parma every Thursday I would be here quite often. $15 for what we were served is amazing value, probably one of the best value parma night's we have ever come across and I will be recommending this one to people looking for a Thursday parma night for a long time to come. I'd happily travel from the other side of town for this parma night, even the full price of $22.50 is reasonable - there's no chance you will walk away hungry, and the staff even offered take-away containers to those of us who couldn't finish.

To me Iddy Biddy is a tick in every box. Cosy pub, great atmosphere, quality live tunes and solid grub. I'll be back to Iddy Biddy - I could easily see myself losing a couple of hours on the tables out the front on a fine Saturday arvo. Apart from a couple of issues with the sides I have no qualms recommending checking this place out.

[pros]

• Massive, Tasty parma.
• only $15 on Thursdays (and drink specials)

[/pros][cons]

• Size of the parma killed all of the sides.

[/cons]

Parma - 8.03

Chips - 6.10

Salad - 4.75

Value - 8.93

Total - 7.17

The search continues...

Attempt #183 - 'The Metropolitan'

[info]When? - 8th of May, 2014

Where? - The Metropolitan, 263 William St. Melbourne

Price? - $17.50

Website? - http://themetropolitanhotel.com.au/

Reviewers –  Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

I realised while eating Tuesday's cooking experiment that I had unwittingly signed myself up for three parmas in a week this week. First was the aforementioned Tater Tot & Bacon Parma, then was this review parma at The Metropolitan, followed by a bucks party on Saturday night where we are going out for ... you guessed it! Parmas. Look's like I'll be hitting the gym on Sunday.

The Metropolitan is one of those pubs that I've walked past hundreds of times, but never really 'clicked' that we should try the parma there. There is another Metropolitan in North Melbourne, unaffiliated (as far as I know) with this one who serves up a damn good bird - I guess when we decided on this pub I was hoping that some of the mojo from that Metropolitan would rub off on this one. I suppose time would tell.

On arrival the Metropolitan was abuzz with activity, unbeknownst to us Thursday night is Trivia night from 6:30, we didn't partake but those who did seemed to be having a damn good time.

First up are some beer specials that I should cover. Aside from the trivia, Thursday also offers $14 jugs of Boags (until 8) and $9 Heineken pints (till 7). I partook in both, and both were delightful - on the palate and my wallet. Also each the fonts (the bit that the tap is attached too) were made from exquisitely carved pieces of wood, which were frosting up with ice (as fonts tend to do) - I'd never seen anything like it in the past and thought it was worthy of a picture -

Once the group arrived we took our seats and spied the menu -

Good start! From the description alone I figured we were in for a quality meal, all the elements of a good parma were in front of us in black and white - and for $17.50 it was as pleasing to my wallet as the $14 jugs of Boags. We placed our orders and waited for the parmas to arrive, listening in on the Trivia in the next room. (although the only question I can remember now was "who was known as the backpacker murderer")

Before too long (about 3/4 of a pot from my Boags jug) the parmas arrived...

My first impression (apart from the shocking nudity and burnt edges) was that the schnitzel itself was pretty thick, small in circumference, but well over and inch in thickness - It didn't look great on the outside but I had high hopes that it could redeem itself. You can't judge a book by its cover.

Until I cut into it, then you realise sometimes a book's cover pretty accurately describes what will happen in the book.

The schnitzel was thick, this is true, but 30 percent of its thickness came from the crumbs - the thick, doughy crumbs that are the hallmark of processed schnitzel.

Deep fried and overcooked, once you cut into it the crumbs would remain in the same position while the chicken fell away, leaving a perfect parma-shaped hollow shell. Other than its thickness (which I will admit that even without the XXL crumbing was thicker than your standard schnitty) I really have nothing positive to say about the schnitzel. Off to a bad start.

The toppings, unfortunately, weren't much better. There was plenty of ham, which I did like, so much so that it was doubled-over on top of the parma - but there wasn't nearly enough cheese or napoli coverage short of a small dollop in the center. Out of the full dish I'd say that only 50% of its surface area was topped with every element that would make it a "parma".

Despite being listed on the menu as "beer battered", the supplied chips were nothing of the sort. Standard unseasoned pub chips. If they had've advertised them as regular chips they would have been okay, however promising beer battered chips and not delivering definitely lost them some points.

The salad was actually pretty decent. Best part of the meal. Just a garden salad, however all the ingredients were fresh - lettuce, onion, cucumber, tomato with a rich creamy dressing and not skimpy on the good stuff. I eat my salad last, and the non-horribleness of the greens perked my mood up a little after the parma.

In a world where its hard to find a parma under $20 I was happy to see that this one only ran $17.50, however after eating it I feel like that was far too expensive.

There's a $15 "parmas of the world" Monday that you could check out if you wanted, maybe the novelty toppings could help hide some of this parmas sins, but do so at your own risk - I wouldn't recommend it.

I walked out of The Metropolitan sad as I loved this pubs vibe. It's got a great atmosphere, cheap drinks and a (seemingly) awesome trivia night - other than the food it's a tick in every box! Unfortunately the parmas are what you're here to read about and to be honest I doubt you'll find me at this pub again, there are just too many better options in this area of the CBD to tolerate this kind've effort.

[pros]

• The salad wasn't terrible

[/pros][cons]

• Burnt, processed schnitzel with horribly thick crumbs
• Not nearly enough toppings to cover the schnitzel
• Menu promised beer battered chips which were not delivered

[/cons]

Parma - 2.00

Chips - 3.20

Salad - 4.40

Value - 4.40

Total - 3.20

The search continues...

Attempt #182 - 'Gabri'

[info]When? - 30th of April, 2014

Where? - Gabri, 43-49 Lygon Street, Brunswick East

Price? - $14.90 with a pot. Parma only available Wednesdays.

Website? - http://www.gabrirestaurant.com.au/

Reviewers –  Daniel, Ella, Fridge, Kylie, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo [/info]

** NOTE - This pub has closed! Parma no longer available - Review will stay up for posterity. Enjoy!

When we first started Parma Daze our regular weekly parma night was not Thursday as it is today, but 24 hours previous - on Wednesday. For the life of me I can't remember when or why we switched things to Thursday night, but it has been that way for quite some time. I like Thursday nights, I'm adjusted to it - When Thursday night parmas rolls around it kicks off the wind-down to the weekend (because lets face it, nobody does any real work on a Friday anyway).

The problem with parmas on a Thursday is that we miss out on a lot of special parma nights. Back in the Jimmies days Wednesday night was parma night - you couldn't get the parma any other time (Sunday nights maybe, but Wednesday was the night). Early - mid week is the most common time for pubs to throw on a parma night as they know it draws a crowd on an otherwise quiet period.

That is why when I heard Gabri run a Wednesday-only parma night I knew we had to take things old school - So last night we headed out to Brunswick East for Wednesday parma night.

We have been to this building before, back in October 2010 we visited 43-49 Lygon St. when it was known as "Crooners". They put on a decent bird from what I remember, So I was keen to see what their successor plated up.

We arrived at parma night - I panicked a little initially as there was no signage that it actually was parma night, and with no parma on the regular menu I was a little scared we would walk out parma-less - No dramas though, as once I asked if it indeed was parma Wednesday we were presented with a parma-centric menu...

Some tantalising choices! This parma night had gotten off on the right food with value like that, lets just hope the quality of the parma backed it up. Being a purist (and needing someone to get the standard parma, as a baseline) I opted for the "English virginia ham parma", The most popular parma of the group was the "Texas meat lovers parma" (ham, bacon AND salami - hard to blame them) and there were a couple of South Yarra Yuppies and a Mexican in the mix as well.

Nine parmas at once is a big order, so when the clock ticked past half an hour after ordering I wasn't too concerned. I had just finished my free pot when they started filing out of the kitchen -

Now the following comments apply to my parma, as there was some inconsistencies around the table that I will cover later. Much like the parma at Crooners my schnitzel, while massive, actually consisted of several (around three) smaller schnitzels fuzed together with cheese and ham.

As far as schnitzel quality goes it was pretty good. Juicy chicken, medium thickness, and real chicken breast. The crumbs on the other hand weren't and good. Every inch was completely soggy - no crunch at all, It also could have been a little hotter, a common complaint around the table was that the parmas and the chips (more on those in a bit) were bordering on cold.

The toppings, although applied a little haphazardly, were pretty good. For a "standard" parma they didn't skimp on the ham in the slightest, there was plenty of cheese and although most of the napoli had been absorbed into the crumbs it still carried a good flavour.

While this parma was big, with plenty of toppings and quality chicken the flavour just didn't quite do it for me, it was a little bland and suffered from a minor case of Big Parma Syndrome I felt myself wishing I had've opted for a novelty parma to spice things up a bit.

For the sake of completeness below I've posted a photo of the Texas Meat Lovers parma as it was delivered - You will notice that my parma was unique to the meat lovers (and every other parma at the table pretty much) as it is a single piece - not a frankensteins monster of smaller schnitzels cobbled together. I'm not too sure where my opinion stands on this, Sure I'd like to have one solid schnitzel, however my parma was a fair bit bigger than everyone else's. It's a tough call...

The chips were pretty disappointing. If you read Parma Daze often you'll know that I normally don't complain about the parma being presented on top of the chips (a pretty common complaint). I've had enough parmas to know that if you extract the parma from atop the chips when it arrives at the table it really won't affect them all that much. That being said, as my parma wasn't one solid piece I was physically unable to pick the whole thing up without the risk of tearing the toppings off one of the schnitzel bits, So I had to leave the chips under the parma to die a humid, soggy death as I ate.

Standard shoestring fries (aka. "Maccas chips"), unseasoned and lukewarm, all considered they were probably the worst part of the dish. Which is probably for the best, as if the parma was the worst part of the dish this review would have a much angrier tone.

The salad was a mixed bag - served in a separate bowl all the ingredients tasted fresh and crisp - however the bowl was deep, and the good stuff (cucumber and tomato) was only placed on the top, not mixed through the salad - so after the first two bites I was left with a bowl of lettuce. Good to start, boring to finish.

$14.90 with a pot (beer, soft drink or house wine) can forgive a lot of the criticisms I just brought up in the previous eight paragraphs. Remember that the parma doesn't appear on the standard dinner OR lunch menu, so if you want to give it a go you will have to go on Wednesday night. These days a parma under $20 is rare, so under $15 definitely needs some praise. For the price and the size the schnitzel is good quality - I was half expecting a heart-shaped processed monstrosity for $14.90, and was pleasantly surprised to find otherwise - I definitely didn't walk away from the table hungry.

The stars need to align for my recommendation of this parma to work - If you're in Brunswick East on Wednesday night and looking for a decent feed that's easy on the wallet then definitely give Gabri a visit - I'd recommend it with the novelty toppings as the few bites I had of my neighbour's Texas Meat Lovers was more enjoyable than my standard.

We'll be switching back to Thursdays as having a parma Wednesday has thrown my whole week off (it totally feels like Friday today). But I'm definitely not against another Hump-Day parma night should a good deal present itself in the future

[pros]

• Huge parma, decent quality schnitzel
• A bargain at $14.90 with a pot

[/pros][cons]

• Bordering on cold
• Disappointing chips

[/cons]

Parma - 6.50

Chips - 3.22

Salad - 4.44

Value - 7.78

Total - 5.69

The search continues...

Attempt #181 - 'The Imperial South Yarra'

[info]When? - 24th of April, 2014

Where? - The Imperial South Yarra. 522 Chapel St, South Yarra

Price? - $23

Website? - http://imperialsouthyarra.com/

Reviewers –  Cale, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

One year ago a friend (and fellow reviewer) posted this photo on my facebook wall -

I promised we would get to it as soon as possible ... but then kind've forgot about it (sorry Janet!).

Until this week! Being in a bit of a drought of good parmas I was craving a good one, I wanted a sure thing and my mind was cast back to when a good looking parma was posted to my facebook - I tracked it down, worked out where it was and the next thing I knew we were walking in the doors of The Imperial South Yarra.

We arrived about half an hour early - luckily that we did because we stumbled on one of the best happy hour's we have seen in some time - Thursday from 5 - 7pm is "$6 Everything" meaning every drink, other than cocktails and bottles of wine, is six bucks. We grabbed ourselves a few 6 buck pints of white rabbit (half price!), took a seat at our table and eyed the menu -

Sounds good! we ordered at the bar and kicked back, discussed the latest episode of Game of Thrones, and waited for our parmas to arrive.

About half a pint later our dinner emerged from the kitchen -

If we rated parmas purely on schnitzel quality this one would be close to a 10 out of ten. Juicy, flavoursome, perfect crispy crumbs and unbelievably thick (check the cross section a little further down). I always say you can judge the overall quality of a parma by how good the schnitzel tastes before you add the toppings - A lot of pubs use the toppings (especially novelty toppings) to cover a sub par schnitz, but if you start with a solid foundation, as The Imperial clearly has, then you're well on the way to being the best.

If I had to make one criticism it would be that some of the parmas around the table were a little overcooked, with one of them having an edge bordering on burnt, but only to a minor degree and not a whole lot to complain about.

After the fantastic schnitzel foundation the toppings, while perfectly good, were a little disappointing. Perhaps I had high expectations but the flavours of all the toppings were a tad muted. The ham was there, but barely detectably in terms on flavour and even the napoli, of which there was plenty, struggled to make itself known. For quite a few mouthfuls all I could taste was schnitzel and cheese - however with such a good schnitzel underneath these minor faults are easily overlooked, I would suggest they switch to a smoked ham to give it a bit more kick in the future.

The chips were the closest thing we've had to perfection in quite some time - narrowly beating out the schnitzel as the star of the dish, they were beer battered beauties - with a fantastic crunch, pre-seasoned with herbs and plenty of salt. They tasted fantastic on their own but as an added bonus each plate was supplied with an individual tomato sauce pot to mix things up. I normally try and find a criticism to level out the review but to be honest I can't think of a single thing I would change about these chips. Fantastic.

The salad was a tough one to judge. The menu advertised it as a "Rocket and parmesan salad" - and that is exactly what we received. The salad was a pile of rocket, some dressing and a whole lot of powdered parmesan. If you read these review often you will know that I'm not a big fan of rocket salads in general, and a salad with rocket as its only vegetable sent alarm bells ringing.

However.

I actually enjoyed it! It wasn't fantastic, the rocket was a little wilted, but there was a heap of tasty dressing and they weren't at all tight with the parmesan - I'm not sure if had enough nutritional value to still qualify as a "salad", but it was a tasty side to the dish - If I could change one thing I would suggest a shift to freshly shaved parmesan, there's just something about powdered parmesan clumped through a salad that just doesn't present well.

For $23 I'd happily return for a parma of this quality. You get what you pay for and this is a parma I'd happily shell out again for. There is a Monday - Friday $15 parma lunch deal that is definitely worth checking out if you work in the area. Not to mention the "$6 for any drink" Thursday happy hour, which is enough to put a smile on any alcoholic's face.

Despite a couple of minor complaints I'd have absolutely no problems recommending Imperial's parma. The next time your wife/girlfriend drags you to a shopping day in Chapel street find a time to excuse yourself from the man-chair by the change rooms and be sure to duck in for a quick parma and pint - you won't be disappointed.

[pros]

• Amazing quality schnitzel
• Near perfect chips

[/pros][cons]

• Toppings slightly flavourless
• Salad a little boring

[/cons]

Parma - 7.80

Chips - 9.40

Salad - 6.20

Value - 7.80

Total - 7.80

The search continues...

Attempt #180 - 'The Courthouse Hotel'

[info]When? - 17th of April, 2014

Where? - The Courthouse Hotel, 86-90 Errol St, North Melbourne

Price? - $22

Website? - http://www.courthouseonerrol.com.au/

Reviewers –  Lee, Tony [/info]

When I first saw The Courthouse a few years ago I immediately thought it looked like a good spot to try a parma - A corner pub on Errol Street in North Melbourne? Surely they would produce a quality bird!

Yet on checking the menu I was saddened - at the time The Courthouse was aiming for a much more "Gastropub" vibe, and there was nothing even close to the humble chicken parma on the menu, disappointed, I put it out of my mind and moved on... Until a few weeks ago when I heard that The Courthouse had new owners.

Could it be? Perhaps the new owners weren't as anti-parma as the previous ones? I checked the menu on the website and was again, disappointed. Nothing. No parmas ... Until I checked the separate "Bar Menu"

Huzzah! Parma sighted. It's not available in the Bistro, but the Bar menu has an aptly named "Good old chicken parma" We loaded up the parma bus and headed to Errol Street.

Upon arrival the pub was bustling with groups of patrons enjoying a knock-off drink, It was busy, but not crowded with plenty of tables available. It's worth noting that the largest table in the bar could fit four people, at a push five, with a heap more intimate options for two or possibly three people. I ordered a pint (Carlton Draught, $9), our parmas ($22) and waited, before long at all (about a quarter of a pint) our meals arrived -

The first thing that struck me was that the Schnitzel looked quite small - there was a lot of empty space on the plate and a pretty small bit of bird in the middle - this was deceiving though, as the bird was actually quite thick, easily making up for any shortcomings in circumference.

The crumbs were crispy, not thickly applied and carried no sogginess, everything was looking up until we got to this parma's biggest shortcoming - It was overcooked.

One edge of this parma was bordering on burnt, and everywhere else had been cooked too long, causing the crumbs to burn and the quality chicken breast inside to dry out. It was disappointing as this was a nice bit of schnitzel, let down by this one issue.

The toppings helped save the dryness of the parma quite well. There was plenty of napoli, tasty cheese and ham that all served their purpose quite well, however lacked any major *oomph* that would make a single ingredient stand out - This parma would have benefited greatly from some smoked ham, as opposed to standard ham, just to add a bit more complexity to the dish.

The chips were fantastic. When I think of great beer battered chips these are what I picture. Perfectly crunchy on the outside giving way to velvety soft pillows of potato inside. Well seasoned, Heaps of them, served beside the parma - A tick in almost every box, any sort of dipping sauce would have made these a 10/10.

The salad was fresh, but a bit boring. Lettuce tossed in oil with some radish slices, cherry tomatoes and a bit of cucumber. To be fair they certainly weren't tight on the cherry tomatoes, but like the toppings on the parma itself there was nothing there that *wow'ed* me.

For $22 I'm not complaining too much about the value this week, I would seek this parma out again, if only for the chips. All the ingredients used in this parma were top notch - no processed schnitzel here, so a price tag of twenty two bucks is more than justified. There are some drink and food specials that it would be worth checking their facebook about - although I didn't see any parma-specific ones at the time of review.

I'm giving the Courthouse the benefit of the doubt on this review, as if this parma was served exactly how we received it, just with five minutes fewer on the stove, it would have been quite good and I'm not going to let what was quite possibly an isolated incident drag the score down too much.

Worth checking out if you're in the area, even if its just for a pint in a pretty cool little pub in North Melbourne.

Court is adjourned.

[pros]

• Quality ingredients
• Great chips

[/pros][cons]

• Dry, overcooked schnitzel

[/cons]

Parma - 6.25

Chips - 8.50

Salad - 6.75

Value - 6.50

Total - 6.85

The search continues...

Attempt #179 - 'The Phoenix Hotel'

[info]When? - 10th of April, 2014

Where? - The Phoenix Hotel, 40 Wallace ave. Point Cook

Price? - $24 (bistro)

Website? - http://thephoenixpointcook.com.au/

Reviewers –  Adam, Cale, Fridge, Lee, Ness, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

First things first, next week is the Good Friday Appeal - if you live in Melbourne it needs no introduction. There is an initiative around Melbourne pubs wherein for the next week starting today (The 11th) until Thursday (The 17th) of April, $2 from every parma sold at one of the participating venues will go straight to the Good Friday Appeal.

So do your part for the kids, check out the list of participating venues here and get a bird in ya for a great cause!

Now ... back to our regularly scheduled program.

We visited The Phoenix at the request of reviewers Cale and Ness, residents of Point Cook that make the trek out to wherever we may be reviewing every week - having just returned from their honeymoon (congrats again guys!) we figured we would give them a break, go to them for once and visit their local - The Phoenix Hotel.

The Phoenix is one of those mega-pubs popping up in the outer suburbs that combines a Sports bar, TAB, bottle'o, pokies venue, function rooms, cafe and bistro into one alcohol-fuelled megaplex. We've visited places like this in the past with varying results, so I was curious to see how things went.

Before heading into the bistro we stopped in for a pint in the sports bar - It was a decent fitout, plenty of TV's, cheap drink specials ($4 coronas on Thursdays) and a mammoth projector screen for important sporting events - Had there been a Thursday night game of footy on this would have been a great place to catch it.

Once the whole crew arrived we migrated across to the bistro. The first thing that struck me about it was the sheer size - it was massive! seating for at least a hundred people and at 7pm on a Thursday it was already quite busy. It's a family friendly venue, with the obligatory kids play room up one end to keep the little one's busy while mummy & daddy enjoy dinner.

We checked the menu - parma sighted.

Before the parmas some pregames were ordered - Arancini balls and Oysters Kilpatrick. I personally didn't partake in either but opinions on the entrees around the table were all positive - a good sign of things to come? Hopefully.

About half a pint later our mains arrived...

The schnitzel was probably the weakest element of the dish. It was unprocessed, real chicken and fresh crumbs, however it was completely soggy, a little dry, really dense and tasted... old, as if it was pre-prepared (just conjecture of course, but that's what it tasted like) Other than that though it was still enjoyable, it was surprisingly filling and I don't think anyone walked away from the table hungry.

The toppings were pretty good for the most part - there was heaps of napoli and ham, however it was a little light on the cheese - another handful would have really helped this parma as at times it felt like I was eating nothing but napoli. The ham carried a great smokey flavour throughout the parma that really complimented the dish, the cheese that was there was just that ... there, nothing much else to report about it.

The chips were fantastic. You might struggle to see them in the photos as they were completely eclipsed by the parma (why I don't know, as there was plenty of empty room on the plate). I can't confirm this as it wasn't listed on the menu, but the chips with the Phoenix parma looked a lot like the famous Bad Boy chips that we first encountered at The Mail Exchange and have been popping up sporadically since then - and whats better than a Bad Boy chip? A surprise Bad Boy chip. I would have loved a few more and they were slightly overcooked, but minor complaints to a fantastic addition to the dish.

The salad was also surprisingly good. Served in a separate bowl with heaps of dressing everything was fresh, crisp and tasty. Yes it was just a standard garden salad, but for what it was it worked well.

$24 for what we got is a little steep, It was an okay parma but for $24 I want something special. I hear there is a cheaper parma over in the sports bar however in that version the Bad Boy chips are swapped out for standard fries. If I found myself at the Phoenix again I would probably find myself giving it another go, however I wouldn't go too far out of my way for the privilege.

The Phoenix is a tough parma to judge. The sides were solid but the parma was a bit 'meh', It wasn't terrible but for the price I was left wanting. There were good elements and bad. The mythological Phoenix from which the pub gets is name is a symbol for reinvention, for shedding off the bad and starting anew - Hopefully The Phoenix Hotel takes a cue from its namesake, makes a few tweaks and bring this parma up to a level worthy of the price.

[pros]

• Bad Boy (or at least Bad Boy-Esque) chips
• Flavourful smoked ham

[/pros][cons]

• Expensive for what it is
• So/so schnitzel quality

[/cons]

Parma - 6.79

Chips - 7.71

Salad - 5.43

Value - 5.64

Total - 6.47

The search continues...

Attempt #178 - Cotta

 

[info]When? - 4th of April, 2014

Where? - Cotta. Crown Casino West End, Southbank.

Price? - $17 for all varieties, 2 & a jug for $24 deal.

Website? - http://www.crownmelbourne.com.au/cotta

Reviewers –  Emma, Fridge, Grace, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

Cotta opened a few months ago as part of Crown Casino's new "West End" renovations, at first it was an ordinary cafe for mid-gambling noms, however a few weeks ago Cotta added some signage to their restaurant, that a keen eyed fan on facebook spotted and alerted us too.

Cotta was no longer just Cotta, Cotta was now "Cotta - Home of the Parma"

Big call. Massive call. We had planned to visit a different pub this week but upon hearing this we dropped our plans and made a beeline for Crown, it was time for Cotta to put their money where their mouths are. Parmas where there mouths are. Parmas where our mouths are. Wow, that sounds dirty.

In my pre-review recon I was on the Cotta website and noticed this deal -

I initially did a double take. Two parmas and a jug ... for $24? Thats a deal that sounds far too good to be true, and not only that, it covers their novelty parma varieties as well. All the same price, two for $24 with a jug. If this was a good parma the value would be off the charts. I checked the parma menu just to see what we were in for...

As far as novelty toppings go this one showed promise, as a parma purist I went with the 'Margherita' but a few at the table strayed, with Reviewer Em getting the Italian, and reviewers Stefo and Fridge getting the "Breakfast" (while we're on the subject, the "Breakfast" should really be called the "Aussie" - I don't know about you guys but I've never considered onion rings a breakfast staple)

We arrived and took our seats - One thing that worried me a little was that there was no signage at all about the "2 and a jug for $24" deal, not on the walls, specials board or the menu - however asking the waiter he confirmed that the deal is still valid, so remember that if you go in - although it may not be signed be sure to ask for it.

Having eight people at the review worked out nicely as we were able to split it up into four deals, meaning we were due four jugs of beer. Then a strange thing happened - after two jugs arrived it was a good twenty minutes before we saw our third, then our fourth didn't seem to be arriving, I questioned this and was told that they only have three jugs. I looked around and there wasn't a single jug on the other tables, so it seems that a bar in crown casino is only stocked with three empty jugs ... a bar that offers a parma deal involving jugs only has three jugs behind the bar.

My brain hurts.

We finished off a jug and gave it to them for a refill, not really a problem - but worth noting.

After a 20 minute wait our parmas arrived from the kitchen

The Original -

The Italian -

First things first, the parma. It was ... Okay, The schnitzel itself was either very good prefab chicken or very bad real chicken breast. It had a grain, so at least it wasn't a giant chicken nugget, however it cut and held its shape far too well to be completely natural. In terms of flavour there wasn't much to write home about in the schnitzel. The crumbs were quite soggy and all up it wasn't far off from cutting into a damp sponge.

The toppings (on the magherita) were pretty similar. There was plenty of cheese and ham (two slices of ham definitely a nice touch) but it was all insanely bland. The cheese was like rubber, the ham completely tasteless and I had to physically check to make sure the napoli was there (there was, but there wasn't much of it)

I'm coming off harsh, there wasn't anything particularly objectionable about this parma, but it was just boring. Nothing in the parma had any flavour, it was honestly as entertaining as chewing on wet cardboard. After a few bites I immediately reached for the salt and pepper to bring it to life. I had major food envy and regretted not getting the novelty toppings, as they looked quite good.

The chips, on the other hand, were quite good. Well cooked, hot, crunchy and nicely seasoned. A fitting side to the dish that went very quickly.

The salad, like the chips, was surprisingly flavourful. Plenty of ingredients and a healthy serve of a tangy dressing made it an enjoyable side dish.

Even though the parma was "meh" the value on this dish is phenomenal - If you can score the "2 parmas and a jug for $24" deal I honestly don't think it can be beat. I'm not sure how much Crown charges for a jug, but a pint at the bar beforehand ran me ten bucks - so the jug has got to be at least $15. Which would make these parmas what ... $5 each? If you're in crown and got a hankering for a parma I'd have another look in, definitely better than the Schnitz in the food court.

I think that this is one of those parmas that I can only recommend with the novelty toppings. It's an extremely beige base that needs the extras on top to carry it over the line. I don't normally recommend a parma based on its novelty factor, but at a price like this its hard to ignore.

Cotta is most definitely not the "Home of the Parma" but if you feel like a feed between spins of the roulette wheel, and are with another person to take advantage of the double parma deal, then its worth popping your head in and checking out. Novelty parmas only though.

[pros]

• 2 Parmas and a jug for $24 deal is amazing value
• good range of novelty options

[/pros][cons]

• Standard parma is bland as bland can be.

[/cons]

Parma - 6.31

Chips - 6.56

Salad - 5.38

Value - 8.38

Total - 6.59

The search continues...

Attempt #177 - 'The Linc: Redux'

[info]When? - 27th of March, 2014

Where? - The Lincolnshire Arms Hotel, 1 Keilor Rd, Essendon

Price? - $22.90

Website? - http://thelinc.com.au/

Reviewers –  Cale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

*Edit* The Linc has received the Re-Redo treatment! We revisited yet again in 2016 - Check out how it fared here

First up, be aware this is a redo, I'm probably gonna say a lot of stuff that isn't going to make sense unless you've read about the first time we went to the Linc. Got it? Good.

As our lowest ranked parma so far, It was inevitable that we would one day have to go back to the Linc just to see if they have improved at all. I said in the first review that they should take our critisisms as tips for improvement, and promised if they ever put the effort in to improve their parma at all we would be back to give them a fair and unbiased second review.

A lot has happened since we visited the Linc back in November 2011, They have undergone some pretty extensive refurbishments and we have actually been in communication a little about their parma. Rather than blather on for a few paragraphs, here is a quick little timeline of events between November 2011 to today, March 2014.

And now you're up to speed! Without need for the parma bus I wandered down to the Linc for one last time before moving, not much further away, but at least a tram ride.

Rather than visit the sports bar this time around we opted to give the bistro side of the Linc a go. We took our seats, scoped the menu and spied our target -

First up there was at least one improvement - The addition of ham seems to be a permanent thing, not just an optional extra as the facebook posts implied. could this mean there actually has been an improvement? We ordered a garlic bread for pre-game and our parmas to follow. Upon ordering we were asked "do you want chips or veggies", everyone opted for chips - but thats a story for a bit later.

The garlic bread at the Linc has always been great, and last night was no exception. Piping hot, dripping with butter, perfectly toasted foccacia slices - I challenge you to find a better garlic bread. The meal started off well, hopes were actually lifting.

As we polished off the bread we were presented with a basket of bake at home rolls - these were included the last time we visited The Linc back in '11 and actually went down as the best part of the dish. Who doesn't love a good bake at home roll?

after we finished those it was only a short wait before our parmas arrived. Hopes were high, spirits were high, Could it actually be good?!

Oh.

Hoo boy. Okay, Positives first - The schnitzel was a little  bigger than in the sports bar, and (although thinner than a credit card) seems to be real, unprocessed chicken.

Despite the addition of a tasteless, off white strip of ham it was pretty much exactly the same. The same canned toppings, the same pools of oil on top, the same weird topping layering with the napoli above the cheese. It was the same.

Other than a vague oily residue it was completely devoid of taste. The napoli was like water, the cheese was like rubber, there was some herbs through the crumbs but they didn't do much at all.

Sigh...

Not much else to say really, we were dejected. I tried so hard to improve this parma.

Here's the cross section -

The chips were as bland as a pair of beige curtains. Lukewarm and starchy, had to cover them in salt to get any semblance of flavour out of them.

Now, the salad.

Much like the last review, lets play everybody's favourite gameshow ...

Name that ingredient!

Yep, that is what the salad consisted of. I would have guessed the three orange strips were carrot, but two of them had massive white chunks in the middle - I didn't know carrots could turn white.

[info] **EDIT** 16/4/14 - I have been in correspondence with The Linc since writing this review and have been informed that what we took to be the "salad" is actually intended to be a "garnish" and not to be intended as a salad. As this is the case we are invoking the "You don't win friends with salad" rule (see the FAQ &Glossary for more info) and the final score will be adjusted accordingly. [/info]

But there is another story to the Salad, as when Reviewer Stefo placed his order, he asked if he could get salad with his meal assuming it was included. He sat back down and showed us his receipt...

I'm having deja vu here. A $3.50 charge for salad? Okay, well surely for that much of an additional cost it was an amazingly rich, full and nutritious addition to the meal...

Apologies for the blurry photo, I was vibrating with rage at this point

I took a bite and winced. I love my balsamic, but this thing was more balsamic than it was vegetables. Not $3.50 worth, not by a long shot.

There's not much more to say really, I had hoped that the parma in the restaurant area would be better than the sports bar, as there is a good $7 difference in price between the two. What does that extra $7 buy you, you may ask? A slightly bigger schnitzel. Thats it. It's not like you're paying extra for table service either, both your drink and food orders have to be placed at the counter and bar respectively. In theory The Linc could install one of those "buzzer-buzzes when your food is ready to collect" systems and do away with the waitresses all together. $7 difference between the sports bar and the bistro is ludicrous, $3.50 extra for salad is utter madness. I wouldn't go back for another parma at the Linc if you paid me.

When we first visited the Linc I gave them the benefit of the doubt, I was willing to help them if they were willing to accept they had a problem and were willing to better themselves -  There was a ray of hope that it might happen, But they have broken my heart yet again. I can't sugar coat it any more, this parma is a fucking abomination.

[pros]

• Bake at home roll & garlic bread was tasty
• Slightly bigger schnitzel than in the sports bar
• Ham now a standard inclusion

[/pros][cons]

• Everything else.

[/cons]

Parma - 2.60

Chips - 2.40

Salad - "You don't win friends with salad" rule invoked.

Value - 1.10

Total - 2.74

The search continues...

Attempt #176 - 'The Lomond Hotel'

 

[info]When? - 20th of March, 2014

Where? - The Lomond Hotel, 225 Nicholson St. Brunswick East

Price? - The menu says $18 ... But check the review for clarification

Website? - http://www.lomondhotel.com.au/

Reviewers –  Dale, Kylie B, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo [/info]

I couldn't tell you why we picked the Lomond Hotel this week. I didn't feel like travelling far so I checked our 'to try' list for a parma around the Brunswick area - Its slim pickings these days for a parma in Brunswick we haven't already reviewed, but we managed to find one - The Lomond Hotel in Brunswick East.

At face value the Lomond looks like a pub I would like. It's a locals pub with a solid live music background and (what I heard) to be decent pub grub. A tick in every box and on walking into the front bar its exactly what we were greeted with, it wasn't a lot to look at, but it had character - and thats all you need in a local pub.

I grabbed a pint of Brunswick Bitter and checked out the blackboard menu over the bar...

Target sighted. Chicken parma $18, with a $1 extra for a slice of ham - Keep this in mind, as this whole review is going to revolve around what is written on that board.

So everyone rocks up, I tell the bar guy that I booked a table earlier that afternoon and we were ushered through to the dining room - a very nicely fitted out area with more of a restaurant feel, tablecloths, wine glasses and cloth napkins on the table. You get the idea.

We take our seats and crack open our menus. Uh oh ... There's no parma listed on the Dining Room menu. We debate moving back into the front bar, but when we walked through I didn't see a table for 6 available. I asked the waitress if we could order food from the bar menu in the dining room, she said yes, however there would be a "$2 surcharge for the linens". A little annoying, but fair enough. You pay extra for table service, we took the hit and ordered our 6 chicken parmas, all with ham (for an extra $1 surcharge), along with a couple of garlic breads to start things off

The garlic bread's came and went very quickly - quite tasty, if anything a little too heavy on the garlic, but a nice start to the meal.

The parmas arrived...

Looking quite impressive on the plate I tucked in as soon as it fell. The schnitzel, while being a little on the thin side, was pure chicken breast, juicy and flavourful . The crumbs deserve a paragraph of their own as they were absolutely perfect - crisp and crunchy, golden brown and delicious. It's a sign of a good parma when you can eat the schnitz by itself and not miss the toppings. Quality foundation for this bird.

The toppings were a bit of a mixed bag. The cheese and napoli were applied liberally and well cooked, can't fault them for that - but they both took a back seat to the ham - well worth the $1 surcharge, the smoked ham infused the whole parma with a strong smokey flavour - If you aren't a fan of smoked ham then definitely go with the standard parma, as all I could taste for the majority of the meal was smoked ham - Luckily, I love smoked ham.

The chips were plump, fresh and well cooked. They needed a little seasoning, and were slightly oily, but overall they were a great accompaniment to a solid meal. Some dipping sauce would have been lovely

The salad was also impressive - A big bowl chock full of ingredients. Half garden salad, half greek salad (olives, but no feta) it was very well dressed, fresh and tasty - My one complaint would be that they used olives that still had the pits in them, my first bite I almost cracked a tooth biting down on one - If you're going to use olives in a salad take the pits out. Other than that it was a fine salad.

So this is where I normally put the quotes, then go on to the "Value" section of the review after that - but the value is such an important factor in this review I am bringing it forward.

So we were all kicking back, enjoying the post-parma glow, finishing off our pints and generally getting ready to leave when the bill arrived - which kind've stopped us in our tracks.

Take a look at the receipt first and see what you make of it...

So, the two garlic breads, $7 each - fine

6 Parmas, at ... Hold on, $19.50 each? But the board said $18? Maybe thats the linen surcharge built into the price.

What? $4 extra each for salad!?

and whats after that? "Butter sauce" ... I'm assuming the "butter sauce" is the ham surcharge just listed under another name, which is, again, fair enough.

But lets review, A parma that is listed as $18 on the menu comes out at $19.50, plus a dollar surcharge for ham, $20.50, plus a completely unmentioned four dollar charge for salad thrown on top. All of a sudden our $18 parma is costing us $24.50 each.

Now I'm not a tightass, If the menu had've listed the parma at $24.50 I probably wouldn't have looked twice - but don't try and pull shady surcharge bullshit (pardon my language) to squeeze some extra bucks out of me. A $2 surcharge for using the dining room is fair enough, an unmentioned $4 salad surcharge is just taking advantage.

The Lomond served up a great parma, I really enjoyed it until the bill arrived, however all the mess with the bill afterwards left a sour taste in my mouth. If they were honest and upfront about the price from the beginning this would have been a much more positive review, but after the crap they pulled last night I doubt I would go back.

[pros]

• Some of the crispiest crumbs we've encountered
• Flavoursome smoked ham
• Quality chips and salad
• All round great pub meal

[/pros][cons]

• Shady surcharges turned an $18 parma into a $24.50 parma

[/cons]

Parma - 6.83

Chips - 6.08

Salad - 6.42

Value - 3.17

Total - 5.87

The search continues...

Attempt #175 -'The Grosvenor Hotel'

[info]When? - 13th of March, 2014

Where? - The Grosvenor Hotel - 10 Brighton Rd, St. Kilda East

Price? - $24

Website? - http://www.grosvenorhotel.com.au/

Reviewers –  Cale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

Towards the end of last year I was invited to the Grosvenor to compete in their "Parma Smackdown" event, trialling a multitude of different novelty parmas. Unfortunately it was on the same night that we presented The Imperial with their parma of the year trophy, so I couldn't make it. I was spewing I missed it, luckily it was covered in depth by a few of my fellow food-blog comrades so I managed to get a peek at what was in store.

Fast forward to last night and it was time to see what all the fuss was about, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed to The Grosvenor Hotel in St. Kilda.

When we first drove past the Grosvenor my heart sank a little - It was a massive building with a Thirsty Camel drive through Bottle-o and a sign advertising that it was a pokies venue. Uh-oh, had we signed up for a parma at a corporate, soulless McPub?

Luckily I couldn't have been more wrong, Inside the Grosvenor is a damn impressive establishment. Beautifully decked out, separate areas for dining, an adjoining wine bar, cosy cocktail bar and sun-filled courtyard. You could visit the Grosvenor five times and have a completely different experience in each, yes the pokies were there, but they were in a removed, quiet and unobtrusive room. The best way to have them.

On top of an impressive cocktail menu (2-for-1 on Thursday nights - bonus!) The beer list was also extensive offering a few favourites such as Mountain Goat Steam Ale, Stone & Wood, Moo Brew and Two Brothers on tap, with a larger section in bottles - enough to satisfy any craving. I grabbed a pint of Stone & Wood and took a seat in the dining area...

No nonsense menu, target sighted and ordered (with a woodfired cheese & herb pizza for pre-game). While we're on the subject of the menu, I've gotta mention this -

That just sounds amazing doesn't it? I'd love to come back with a larger group and give it a go.

Shortly after ordering the pre-game arrived...

Scrumptious! That was polished off rather quickly, It's also worth mentioning this other little tidbit I noticed on the menu -

I think its safe to say the winners of last year's "Parma Smackdown" would be featured on the Wednesday parma night, also worth looking into in the future.

Not long after we polished off the pizza did the parmas arrive...

The chicken schnitzel was top notch. Tender and brimming with juice with crunchy crumbs (on top at least, there was a little sogging on the bottom, but nothing major). While a little small in circumference it more than made up for it in thickness. It tasted fresh and was full of flavour.

The toppings only improved from there. A generous lashing of ham, the napoli was in abundance as was the cheese blend, which had just the right amount of a tasty cheese kick to it while still retaining the elasticity of mozzarella. Grilled to a perfect golden brown, this parma was an absolute joy.

The hand cut chips looked impressive on the plate, and in general were pretty solid - but there's a danger when serving up hand cut chips such as these - as they blur the line between a "chip" and a "quarter of a potato". Some of them were perfect sized, some were ridiculously big. All were delicious and fluffy inside, but with that much potato they were in desperate need of a dipping sauce. If you order the hand cut chips off the "small plates" menu they come with an espelet pepper aioli - which would have been absolutely perfect to break up the onslaught of potato. Luckily we asked for a pot of good ol' tomato sauce and that did the job fine.

No need to sugar coat it, the salad was a let down. Cabbage, lettuce, carrot and a whole heap of fennel tossed in some olive oil. Maybe its just because I've never been big on fennel in salad but this pile of greens did nothing for me or anyone else on the table. Sure it was fresh, can't fault them for that, but without a dressing all I could taste was oil and fennel (if you haven't had fennel in salad before it has a very strong aniseed taste, like black liquorice) after such a strong start the salad was a disappointing way to finish off the meal.

For $24 it is a bit pricey but I wouldn't grumble too much having to pay that again, everything on the plate was made with the highest quality ingredients and care, and sometimes you have to chip in a few extra bucks to get that on your plate. The $15 parma night is definitely appealing, and if you were intending on checking this place out I'd definitely say to stop in on a Wednesday - and who doesn't love some free trivia thrown in? nobody, thats who (wooo, double negatives!).

Despite a couple of speed bumps the Grosvenor is an impressive establishment with an equally impressive parma. From the outside it seems like just another corporate, soulless pub - yet inside they have managed to imbue so much character into those walls, the care they have taken really shines, from the decor to the menu, you can tell some love has gone into this pub and I'd be happy to go back again.

On the way out I spotted what I assume is that $600 suckling pig hanging in the meat fridge... I'll be back for you Babe!

[pros]

• Fantastic quality ingredients
• Delicious parma
• Quality chunky chips

[/pros][cons]

• Disappointing salad
• Chunky chips needed a dipping sauce

[/cons]

Parma - 8.30

Chips - 7.30

Salad - 5.00

Value - 6.20

Total - 7.02

The search continues...

Attempt #174 - 'Royal Melbourne Hotel'

[info]When? - 6th of March, 2014

Where? - Royal Melbourne Hotel - 629 Bourke St. Melbourne

Price? - $19.90

Website? - http://www.rmh.com.au/

Reviewers –  Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]

You've probably been to The Royal Melbourne Hotel and not know it, as it is most commonly known by a completely different name ... Bang!

Every Saturday night the RMH transforms into "Bang!" - the punk/rock/metal/indie/dance/party nightclub (and on the eve of long weekends it also becomes part of the "Plastic" experience). I have been to Bang! many times, but I have never been to the Royal Melbourne Hotel.

To be honest I was a little surprised when I found out that it was a regular pub during non-bang hours, especially one with the prestigious title of The Royal Melbourne Hotel - I found it a little sad that a pub with such a prominent name is most known as something completely different.

I have never been to the RMH sober before, or in daylight, so walking in to the glass roofed atrium was a very different experience. It actually is a very beautiful building and wonderful space, with fantastic architecture and plenty of little nooks and crannies to get lost in.

We were seated amongst a sea of suits (it's a popular place for after work sippers, apparently) in the atrium, right in front of the arch through to the "Cells" (the bluestone building at the back, a.k.a "The Metal Room" on Bang! nights). We had a quick glance at the menus and with little hesitation placed our orders at the bar.

The beer & wine selection is pretty standard CUB fare. Draught, Cascade, Blonde, Fat Yak, Bulmers and Peroni if you're feeling fancy, nothing much in the way of a craft beer selection - but enough to do the job.

Quite quickly (about a third of a pint's worth) our parmas arrived at the table.

The schnitzel was pretty sub-par. Standard heart-shaped processed garbage. Any thickness to it was mostly crumbs, which fell away from the chicken the moment the knife went through it. The chicken itself was credit-card thin in places.

There was a ton of nude schnitz, which I sometimes don't mind if the schnitzel itself is quality, it can be an enjoyable experience with the right bird - but this was just unpleasant. Not to mention mine was a little burnt around the edges.

Much like the schnitzel the toppings were just as processed. The napoli was straight from a can and the cheese almost looked as if someone had laid kraft singles over the top of the schnitzel and put it under the griller.

I was surprised to find there was a slice of ham, which is always appreciated. The bits of nude schnitz around the edges weren't good at all. The bits covered with topping were bearable. Thats probably the highest compliment I can pay this parma. Bearable.

Chips were a handful of unseasoned, bagged pub chips. with a heaping of salt & pepper I was able to breathe some life into them. Standard pub chips, but nothing special by any means.

The garden salad was a wilted mess. Mostly lettuce with a token piece of tomato and onion, I got zero cucumber but another reviewer got five pieces. Also disappointing.

This is a ten dollar parma. Twelve at the most - To be forced to shell out almost $20 for this mess hurts quite a bit. I wouldn't travel for this parma, The Mail Exchange is walking distance from this place and I'd prefer to go there for a bowl of Bad Boy Chips before visiting this place again. There is a $20 Steak night on Thursdays, I saw a few come out of the kitchen and they looked alright - If I was forced back here during food service hours I would definitely opt for the steak over the parma

I don't think I'll be back to the Royal Melbourne Hotel for a while. Sure Bang! is still fine and its great at doing what it does (with Labour Day on Monday I'm sure Plastic will be in full swing Sunday night). It's a gorgeous pub, and probably worth stopping in just to see the place when it isn't in nightclub mode, I'd happily stop in for another pint if I was in the area - but I won't be back for the parma any time soon.

[pros]

• Nice to see the venue outside of "Bang!" mode

[/pros][cons]

• Credit card thin, processed schnitzel
• Toppings from a can
• Wilted salad

[/cons]

Parma - 4.63

Chips - 3.25

Salad - 3.50

Value -3.75

Total - 3.95

The search continues...