Price? - $19.90
Website? - http://www.rmh.com.au/
Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo [/info]
You've probably been to The Royal Melbourne Hotel and not know it, as it is most commonly known by a completely different name ... Bang!
Every Saturday night the RMH transforms into "Bang!" - the punk/rock/metal/indie/dance/party nightclub (and on the eve of long weekends it also becomes part of the "Plastic" experience). I have been to Bang! many times, but I have never been to the Royal Melbourne Hotel.
To be honest I was a little surprised when I found out that it was a regular pub during non-bang hours, especially one with the prestigious title of The Royal Melbourne Hotel - I found it a little sad that a pub with such a prominent name is most known as something completely different.
I have never been to the RMH sober before, or in daylight, so walking in to the glass roofed atrium was a very different experience. It actually is a very beautiful building and wonderful space, with fantastic architecture and plenty of little nooks and crannies to get lost in.
We were seated amongst a sea of suits (it's a popular place for after work sippers, apparently) in the atrium, right in front of the arch through to the "Cells" (the bluestone building at the back, a.k.a "The Metal Room" on Bang! nights). We had a quick glance at the menus and with little hesitation placed our orders at the bar.
The beer & wine selection is pretty standard CUB fare. Draught, Cascade, Blonde, Fat Yak, Bulmers and Peroni if you're feeling fancy, nothing much in the way of a craft beer selection - but enough to do the job.
Quite quickly (about a third of a pint's worth) our parmas arrived at the table.
The schnitzel was pretty sub-par. Standard heart-shaped processed garbage. Any thickness to it was mostly crumbs, which fell away from the chicken the moment the knife went through it. The chicken itself was credit-card thin in places.
There was a ton of nude schnitz, which I sometimes don't mind if the schnitzel itself is quality, it can be an enjoyable experience with the right bird - but this was just unpleasant. Not to mention mine was a little burnt around the edges.
Much like the schnitzel the toppings were just as processed. The napoli was straight from a can and the cheese almost looked as if someone had laid kraft singles over the top of the schnitzel and put it under the griller.
I was surprised to find there was a slice of ham, which is always appreciated. The bits of nude schnitz around the edges weren't good at all. The bits covered with topping were bearable. Thats probably the highest compliment I can pay this parma. Bearable.
Chips were a handful of unseasoned, bagged pub chips. with a heaping of salt & pepper I was able to breathe some life into them. Standard pub chips, but nothing special by any means.
The garden salad was a wilted mess. Mostly lettuce with a token piece of tomato and onion, I got zero cucumber but another reviewer got five pieces. Also disappointing.
This is a ten dollar parma. Twelve at the most - To be forced to shell out almost $20 for this mess hurts quite a bit. I wouldn't travel for this parma, The Mail Exchange is walking distance from this place and I'd prefer to go there for a bowl of Bad Boy Chips before visiting this place again. There is a $20 Steak night on Thursdays, I saw a few come out of the kitchen and they looked alright - If I was forced back here during food service hours I would definitely opt for the steak over the parma
I don't think I'll be back to the Royal Melbourne Hotel for a while. Sure Bang! is still fine and its great at doing what it does (with Labour Day on Monday I'm sure Plastic will be in full swing Sunday night). It's a gorgeous pub, and probably worth stopping in just to see the place when it isn't in nightclub mode, I'd happily stop in for another pint if I was in the area - but I won't be back for the parma any time soon.
- Nice to see the venue outside of "Bang!" mode
- Credit card thin, processed schnitzel
- Toppings from a can
- Wilted salad