Attempt #90 - 'The Anglers Tavern'


When? – 28/03/2012

Where? – The Anglers Tavern, 2 Raleigh Rd. Maribyrnong

Price? - $21.50

Website? -

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki[/info]

Growing up in the area The Anglers was always a summer favourite of mine. There was no better way to spend a Sunday than with a couple of pints relaxing by the river watching the world go by. Despite the great atmosphere the food at the Anglers was never something to be proud of, so when it came up on the rotation of pubs to visit in search for a Melbourne’s best parma I have to be honest and say I didn’t have high hopes.

We arrived to a very quiet bar on Thursday night, as usual the location was fantastic (it’s really rare for a pub to change its location, wreaks havoc with the foundations). Absolutely massive beer garden perched on the banks of the Maribyrnong River, we ordered our meals and took a seat outside in the sun.

As I mentioned the pub was quiet, and it was a small group this week, so the parmigianas were out of the kitchen in under ten minutes…

Would you look at this behemoth?!

Short of our special attempts at The Albion, this would have to be the biggest parma we have come across - absolutely massive, and on closer inspection revealed to be two chicken breasts that would stand alone on the plate as decent parmas. But how did it taste?

Not great.

Don’t get me wrong, the chicken was unprocessed and fresh, they weren’t too heavy on the crumbs and there was heaps of cheese, but the whole thing just carried no flavour.

We coined the term “Big Parma Syndrome” (Or BPS) during our review of The Central Lion, and this parma is a prime example. The slice of ham added some flavour, however the sheer size of the parma meant that a single slice of ham barely covered 30% of its surface area, leaving a majority of the parma ham-less. Like trying to cover Kim Kardashian’s arse with a hand towel.

The saving grace for this chicken came towards my last few bites, and it was then I put my finger on why this parma had no flavour - the Napoli. My last three bites of parma tasted fantastic, as the action of cutting the parma had pushed what little napoli there was to one side of the chicken and had left a little treasure trove of great tasting parmage - it was a shame that by the time I got to those final bits I was so full I felt as if I was going to explode like the guy in “Meaning of Life”.

fuck off I’m full.

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The chips were … chips. Standard pub chips, unfortunately due to the parma taking up the whole god-damned plate they were rendered a soggy mess by the time I got to them

The salad was a disappointment, truly there as an afterthought. A stack of lettuce with a slice of furry tomato, some cucumber and a single sliver of onion.

Once when Winston Churchill was asked how dry he liked his martini, he responded “I would like to observe the vermouth from across the room while I drink my martini.” - I think the chef at the Anglers had the same approach with the salad dressing, perhaps he glanced at it across the room while he was preparing the salad, however it was nowhere on the plate we received.

If you’re in the mood for a big feed then The Anglers is the parma for you, unfortunately, as we have discovered in the past - bigger is not always better (At least thats what the wife tells me, although I get the feeling she is just being kind).

If they took the time to add a bit of flair to the meal, dish out an appropriate amount of napoli & ham for the size of the bird they are putting on the plate, then they would definitely be a contender - Until then I’ll be content with sitting in the beer garden and watching the water with a pint in hand, but I doubt I’ll be trying the parma again any time soon.

Parma - 6.25
Chips - 4.5
Salad - 2
Value - 6.25
Total - 5.05

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