#272 - 'The Spottiswoode Hotel'

Where? - 62 Hudsons Rd. Spotswood

Price? - $19.50

Website? - http://spottiswoode.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale,Lee, Nikki & Stefo

The Spottiswoode is a pub with a ... lets say "colourful" past. If you had've visited the Spotty five years ago you might not have made it out. The boarded up windows and overall unsavoury vibe of the place would have caused many a local to take a very wide berth.

But as of a few years ago everything changed. The boards came off the windows, the floors were polished and the Spottiswoode was transformed to a dank dive bar to a family friendly gastropub, and last night we headed down to the new and improved Spotty to give their parma a crack.

The first thing that strikes you about the Spottiswoode is how utterly huge it is. Long wooden tables abound in the airy front bar, the building winds around into lounge areas, dining areas, a room for the kids up the back and (I didn't investigate as it was friggin' cold) I have heard rumours of a decent beer garden as well. It's a warm, locals pub with a super friendly vibe - and even at 7 o'clock on a Thursday the door didn't stop opening with fresh groups of patrons coming in from the icy cold June evening.

We grabbed a table at one of the oversized booths and checked the menu -

And ordered our parmas.

For a pub thats a stone's throw (if you can throw a stone 500 meters) from the Two Birds Brewery, I was surprised to find that they didn't have Two Birds on tap. A couple of crafty options but nothing really noteworthy. A few pints of Furphy did the trick nicely.

After a pre-game of the damn delicious cheesy garlic bread, the parmas arrived shortly after...

The parma arrived piled high on a stack of chips, after a quick reshuffling to get them free we tucked in. The circumference of the schnitzel looked a little small on the plate, but it was thick enough that it wasn't a huge issue - by the end of the meal nobody walked away from the table hungry.

The schnitzel was pure chicken breast, well cooked and juicy. Crumbs were slightly thicker than I prefer, but not to the degree that you would feel like they're trying to cover something up. Our biggest complaint is that the schnitzel just wasn't served hot enough, which detracted from the flavours of the parma quite a bit.

Other than that minor stumble it was a quality foundation to the dish.

The toppings were full of flavour and, unlike the schnitzel they sat upon, served piping hot. The napoli sauce was rich and the cheese blend was extremely tasty (literally, very heavy on the tasty cheese, which I'm always a fan of).

The one thing that was missing was a slice of ham. The parma did well without it, don't get me wrong, but a slice of ham would have really juiced it up.

The serving of chips was massive without a doubt - unfortunately they suffered the same fate as the schnitzel. Served lukewarm at best they felt as if they had been sitting for a while before we got them. A bit of sauce and salt partially rescued them, but the chips were definitely the weakest part of the dish.

The salad was fresh and jam packed with ingredients. Cucumber, salad, plenty of onion and a heap of capsicum with plenty of creamy dressing. A couple of the plates at the table also got tomato, I wasn't that lucky - Either way a fine side to the dish.

“Great pub, great atmosphere, great food. Parma was good”

— Cale

“Good vibe to the pub, some great flavours in the parma but stumbled a little in the execution - Everything could have been a little warmer”

— Nikki

“I’m not sure what to write - It didn’t really blow my socks off”

— Stefo

A parma under $20 in this day and age is always lovely to see, and I'd have no qualms shelling out another $19.50 to get this parma again. All of our criticisms from last nights parma could be chalked up to an unfortunate error in the kitchen, all the elements of greatness are there if they just came out a little hotter. Wednesday night at the Spotty is Parma & Pot night for $15, If you're in the area and feel like a cheap feed then this is definitely one I'd recommend checking out, especially at that price.

The Spottiswoode is a fantastic little locals pub with a friendly country atmosphere. Anyone in Spotswood should be stoked to have it as their local. The parma had a few issues but nothing that couldn't be fixed. Definitely worth checking out if you're in the area.

Pros

• Great flavours though the toppings
• Large servings of the sides
• Friendly, welcoming local pub

Cons

• Schnitzel and chips were served a little cold
• Parma could use a slice of ham

Parma - 7.50

Chips - 5.25

Salad - 6.25

Value - 8.00

Total - 6.90

The search continues...

#271 - 'Mamma Lina's'

Where? - 257 Keilor Rd, Essendon

Price? - $24.50

Website? - http://mammalinas.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

Mamma Lina's is one of those places that has seemingly been around forever. Possibly since the dawn of time or earlier - Scholars maintain that on the seventh day, after God had rested up a bit he went down to Mamma Lina's to grab a coffee. It's a Keilor Road institution, and an absolute travesty that we haven't been there earlier. So last night we headed down to give their parma a crack.

There isn't a whole lot to say about the interior of Mamma's, if you've been into a cafe in Melbourne you know what you're in for. There's a small bar up one end, a selection of delicious looking fresh cakes in the window, a small lounge area if you feel like kicking back opening up to a larger dining area around the back.

We grabbed a table, ordered a beverage, grabbed the menu and identified our target for the evening...

There are a few beers available, no taps - everything is bottled. The craftiest option would be a Lord Nelson Pale Ale, but other than that your choices are pretty standard. VB, Draught, Crown Lager, Peroni, Heineken etc.

15 or so minutes after ordering our parmas arrived from the kitchen...

The first thing that struck me about this parma was the schnitzel. Very traditional Italian style schnitzels with a deliciously herb and parmesan infused crumb. Hammered a little thin for my personal taste, this schnitzel screams home made - as if Mamma Lina herself was working in the kitchen.

Real chicken breast, full of flavour however it was quite oily, which weighed on my stomach at the end of the meal.

The napoli was fresh and bursting with flavour (and a hint of sweetness), I wouldn't be surprised if it was home made as well. As I mentioned earlier this is a very traditional Italian style parma, and as such there was no ham, which was a shame as a slice or two of ham would have really made this parma shine.

I normally like a bit more variety than just mozzarella in my cheese blend, but the mozza on this parma served its purpose just fine.

The chips were probably the weakest part of the dish. Standard chips, served unseasoned, a little hard and starchy (almost as if they had been sitting for a while). A decent enough sized serve, but some fresher chips would have really helped this dish.

The salad was fine. Nothing really noteworthy, quite oily much like the parma itself but carried a great flavour.

almost $25 is pretty pricey for what we received, but I suppose Cafe prices are a different world to pub grub prices so it can't be judged as harshly. No special parma nights that I could see. If I found myself at Mamma Lina's again I wouldn't have too much issue with getting this parma again, but I don't think I'd travel any measurable distance to get it again.

The Mamma Lina's parma was fine, let down by weak sides and oily schnitzel it was a few steps shy of great. However if you're in the mood for a traditional schnitzel like Nonna used to make then this is definitely one to consider.

Pros

• Great homemade crumbs
• Tasty schnitzel

Cons

• Weak sides
• Very oily

Parma - 7.00

Chips - 4.00

Salad - 6.00

Value - 6.25

Total - 6.05

The search continues...

#270 - 'The Royal Hotel'

Where? - 41 Spensley St. Clifton Hill

Price? - $20

Website? - http://www.royalhotelcliftonhill.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo

The Clifton Hill Royal Hotel was the cover-parma for the Herald Sun's recent list of Victoria's 25 best parmas, and after a couple of attempts earlier this year, the last of the (now infamous) list that we had yet to review - So for the sake of completion we loaded up the parma bus and headed to the 151st Pokemon of a parma that is the Royal Hotel.

On paper the Royal Hotel ticks every box of what I like in a pub. A hidden away backstreets local. A fireplace to warm up by, plenty of different nooks and areas to get lost in, pool tables, a solid craft beer list and (hopefully) some good grub.

Photo nicked from The Royal Hotel's website.

In person the Royal delivers on its promise. Upon entry you're greeted by an airy (yet warm) front bar bustling with activity. There are tables scattered around for those after a feed and plenty of stools at the bar for those looking to pull up a pew. Beyond that is a dim and cosy cocktail lounge, with a more comfortable "chill out" vibe and beyond that again is an elegant dining room (with a touch of country pub flair). There's also a sunny atrium and a walk-in bottle shop to grab a traveller on the way home. Quite possibly the perfect local pub.

We were lucky enough to grab a table in the busy front bar, grabbed a menu and spied our target...

Its worth noting that the bistro out the back has a different menu to the front bar - As far as I can tell the parmas are only available on the more casual dining focussed bar menu.

As I mentioned, the Royal is no slouch when it comes to their beer selection, with taps running the entire gamut of tastes, and an impressive selection of bottled beers if you can't find what you're after in the kegs. Too many to list, you'd better go and check it out for yourself.

About 30 minutes after ordering our meals arrived from the kitchen -

It may not look it from the photos, but this was an impressive schnitzel. An intimidatingly thick slab of pure white chicken breast, lightly panko crumbed and fried. My only criticism for the schnitzel was that it lacked the trademark crunch of a panko crumbed schnitzel, and wound up a tad soggy. Other than that this was a great bird, and a fantastic foundation for the toppings.

The toppings were probably the weakest element on the plate - but by no means a deal breaker. The main focus of criticism around the table was the napoli. There was heaps of it... too much, and unfortunately it tasted like straight-from-the-bottle tomato passata.

The other toppings were quality - plenty of tasty, gooey cheese and not at all tight on the ham ... If they just eased off the napoli a little (maybe swap it out for a chunky home made variety) and this parma would be a tick in every box.

The hand cut chips were delightful. Cooked to pillowy perfection, well seasoned and astonishingly filling. A fine addition to the plate.

The coleslaw was creamy, tasty and not in short supply at all. A little rich when trying to eat it straight, but an absolute winner when combined with a fork-full of parma.

“I liked it, but it was so saucy! When you can push your fork in and the rest of the toppings ooze out around the fork there’s a but too much happening there!”

— Stefo

“Quality chicken breast if a bit undercooked in my case. At this price point, great portion sizes all around”

— Matt

“Good parma - On the verge of being great. My biggest concern was too much napoli. This would have been okay if it was home made sauce but it tasted a little like pureed tomato from a tin. Would be amazing with some herbs, chunky tomato and onion”

— Nikki

For a $20 feed I was groaning in contentment when I finished. The massive chicken combined with the super-filling hand cut chips and coleslaw, I guarantee you're not walking away from this bird hungry. The aforementioned Herald Sun review of the Royal called it "Peerless for the price" and I am inclined to agree (Probably the only thing in that article that I do agree with). Zero qualms shelling out another $20 for this meal ... A total bargain, pure and simple.

The Royal Hotel is a tick in every box for me. Great pub, great beers great grub. If I didn't live a half-hour drive from Clifton Hill I'd happily call this my local - Parma was good, a few minor tweaks from great, but definitely one worth checking out.

Pros

• Quality ingredients
• Absolute bargain
• Great hand cut chips

Cons

• Soggy crumbs
• Too much napoli

Parma - 7.13

Chips - 6.88

Salad - 6.25

Value - 7.63

Total - 7.00

The search continues...

#269 - 'The Olympic Hotel'

Where? - 31 Albert St. Preston

Price? - $23.90

Website? - http://www.theolympichotel.com/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Stefo

We went into this week's review pretty much blind. During dinner conversation at last week's trip to Insignia Reviewer Stefo suggested that we next try a pub somewhere near to his work in Preston. Not having spent too much time in the area I agreed, and The Olympic Hotel was found almost entirely by Googling the phrase "pubs in Preston".

One thing that shocked me about the Olympic on arrival was its sheer size, This place is absolutely massive. With a Bistro, sports bar (with pool table and darts), TAB, Pokies, bottle shop and kids play area they're definitely going for an "Everything under one roof" kind've experience.

We grabbed a table in the bistro and checked the menu -

One thing that I do want to mention is that the Olympic Hotel would have to have some of the friendliest staff we've ever come across. From the Server in the bistro to the girls behind the bar to the bouncer out the front - Everyone was super happy, friendly and had a smile on their face. Definitely worth a mention as it made our dining experience that much more enjoyable.

As for beers I wasn't expecting a lot when I opened up the drinks menu. As I had feared the tap list doesn't extend far beyond VB, Carlton or Bulmers - However I was astonished to find a very lean bottled craft beer menu. Grabbed a stubby of Stone & Wood (a tad pricey at $8.70 each) and awaited our parmas arrival ... which wasn't long, as no more than 10 minutes later our meals appeared from the kitchen -

The schnitzel was thick, plump - but a little dry. It had a strong smokey/burnt fragrance yet I couldn't actually see any burnt parts - it was all cooked quite well, which was very confusing. Pretty light on the crumbs and pure chicken breast. A decent start, could have been served a bit hotter, but that is a minor criticism.

The toppings were pretty much straight from the packet. The napoli tasted a little tinny and the cheese and ham, while plentiful, didn't add a whole lot to the flavour profile. It was all fine - but nothing outstanding.

Chips were thinner than steak chips but thicker than french fries. Desperate for a little seasoning, the staff were happy to provide some tomato sauce for dipping on request. Points for not being served smooshed under the parma.

The salad looked damn impressive on the plate. A separate bowl bursting with carrot, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, olives and feta cheese. I couldn't wait to tuck in. The ingredients were crisp and fresh with a refreshing dressing - The olives were a punch of flavour but the feta was extremely underwhelming - I don't think I've tasted a more utterly flavourless feta in my life.

“Great friendly service, parmas were quick to arrive but the meal was average at best”

— Stefo

“Staff were super friendly, open and spacious pub - Just needed a little more love in the parma ”

— Nikki

$23.90 is a tad pricey for what we received. I noticed there is a cheaper option available in the sports bar but I can't vouch for it being the same as what was served in the bistro.

When I saw that the Olympic was a corporate pokies pub my expectations were low - And what we received was definitely better than what I was expecting, however it didn't blow us away. I think this is the shortest review I've done on this site in years, because I've just got nothing to say about it ... It was by no means bad, but it wasn't great. If I were to find myself at the Olympic again I'd have no qualms giving it another crack, but I don't think I'd travel for the experience.

Pros

• Friendly staff & atmosphere
• Unexpected Stone & Wood!
• Quick service
• Thick chicken breast

Cons

• Tinned toppings
• unseasoned chips
• Dry chicken

Parma - 6.00

Chips - 5.83

Salad - 6.67

Value - 6.00

Total - 6.10

The search continues...

#268 - 'Insignia'

Where? - 502 Flinders St, Melbourne

Price? - $13.50

Website? - None that I could find, except for their Facebook page

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo

**EDIT** 14/06/16 - Just got some feedback from Insignia and they have said that they have backed off the amount of cinnamon used in the napoli, and they assure us that the schnitzels used are 100% chicken breast, flattened out and crumbed.

It's tight-arse week here at ParmaDaze, not a regular feature - but after a few weeks of parmas over the $25 mark it was time to dial it back a bit and find a bird that doesn't hurt the wallet as much. I delved into my archive of suggested pubs and found an email sent to me by a reader named Jacob, who recommended we try the CBD pub near the Aquarium. I looked them up and it seemed like the perfect target. We loaded up the parma bus, grabbed a handful of church change and headed to Insignia.

When it comes to CBD pubs Insignia has a unique vibe. From outside it looks like a tiny hole in the wall, but inside its airy and open, with plenty of space to either stand, lean or lounge. From the moment we walked in we felt comfortable and welcome. A warm pub with friendly staff and a fantastic vibe.

Insignia is all about the specials. $16 jugs, $8.00 shots, $8.50 cocktails and (of course) $13.50 main meals. All day, every day. We checked the menu,  spied our target...

And placed our orders at the bar

A surprising amount of tap options ran the length of the bar, pretty much the entire James Squire range of beers is on tap, with a few other options thrown in for good measure. Boags, Superdry and Cider fall under the $16 jug category, with the fancier Squire options going for $20

About 25 minutes later our meals arrived at the table.

The schnitzel was served piping, almost impossibly hot and fresh. I'd swear I was eating it straight off the grill. Unfortunately a $13.50 parma comes with the level of schnitzel quality you'd expect for that price. It was big in circumference but quite thin and processed. At the very least the crumbs weren't too thick.

On the spectrum of store bought schnitzels this was one of the better grades, but still a store bought schnitzel.

The toppings, like the schnitzel, was served ridiculously fresh. The cheese was molten and gooey like a bright yellow lava flow. Ham is usually the first ingredient to go when you enter the budget parma spectrum and this parma was no different - a shame, as a slice of pork would have really helped this one.

The napoli was the most contentious part of the meal, namely one ingredient in the napoli that struck the palate like a Mack truck. There was some argument as to what the mystery spice was, but the general consensus around the table was cinnamon. A bold choice for a tomato napoli, and pretty much everyone eating the parma at the table agreed it was the wrong choice. Cinnamon is such a bold flavour and as such it detracted from everything else in the dish.

The chips were standard pub chips. Reviewer Stefo ordered a plate of Arancini balls with garlic aioli as an entree (which were fantastic, btw) so the left over aioli served as a chip dip to the otherwise rather plain chips. Not bad, not great.

Opinions on the salad wavered from person to person, I think due to different people getting different amounts of stuff in their salad. I drew the short straw, scoring two slivers of onion, a cucumber slice and some capsicum skin amongst my lettuce. The leaves were fresh, tossed in a tasty balsamic dressing - so not all bad.

“The price was the highlight, the the experience in general was a bit of a let down”

— Stefo

“I feel the scores won’t reflect the nature of this pub. It’s not trying to compete with the big hitters; it’s a cozy corner pub for your after work needs: A decent parma and a couple of beers. On this, I think it was good value (especially per the price)”

— Matt

“I can’t stand cinnamon, and the mystery spice in the napoli tasted a lot like cinnamon... not for me”

— Nikki

“Parma was a good size, the hint of cinnamon in the sauce wasn’t for me. Chips were good and salad wasn’t too bad, could have used an extra slice of capsicum and cucumber... It was refreshing to get a meal for under 15 clams”

— Fridge

I think reviewer Matt hit the nail on the head with his quote - This isn't a parma looking to play with the big boys. Its a cheap feed with cheap drinks in a pleasant atmosphere. It was beyond refreshing walking out of a parma night only $33.50 down, and that includes a jug of James Squire Golden Ale. No specific parma nights on the books as the cheap meals run all day every day.

One special I did see posted on the walls was for a pizza and tasting paddle of James Squire beers for $10... That sounds almost too good to be true.

I enjoyed my night at Insignia. Its a down to earth pub in an area where you wouldn't expect to find a down to earth pub. I won't be rushing back for a parma but will definitely keep it in my mind as a place for a cheap brew and feed without breaking the bank.

Pros

• Everything was cheap
• Fresh & piping hot ingredients

Cons

• Low quality schnitzel
• Needed ham
• Weird cinnamon flavour through the napoli was overpowering

Parma - 4.70

Chips - 4.50

Salad - 3.80

Value - 7.10

Total - 4.96

The search continues...

#267 - 'The Rose Hotel: Redux'

Where? - 406 Napier St. Fitzroy

Price? - $25

Website? - http://www.therosefitzroy.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Matt & Nikki

Before we get into this I feel like I need to make some things clear from the jump - Mainly that I am not a Fitzroy local. Before last night the only other time I have been to the Rose was for our first review in 2010, so beyond my thoughts at the time of "This is a lovely little pub" The pre-renovation Rose holds no sentimental place in my heart - So I'm hoping to approach this as a bit of an unbiased, outside observer.

If you have no idea what we're talking about, there is currently a bit of hubbub around the interwebs in regards to the Rose, somehow it has inadvertently become the poster child for "Local backstreets pub bought out and stripped of its soul". It's no secret that I love a backstreets local, and the Rose was well overdue for a redo, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Fitzroy to check out the new and (possibly) improved Rose Hotel.

We pulled up at the Rose and noticed quite a few people gathered by the outdoor tables enjoying a beer - It would seem the negativity towards the rennos aren't affecting business as this place was packed. Almost every table in the front room was taken, we managed to snag a high table by the bar in the middle of the action (after ordering we discovered that there was a much quieter dining area out the back with plenty of space, but the atmosphere is much better up front).

Yep, this place is virtually unrecognisable from the pub we wandered into six years ago. Gone is the dark, dank pub and in its place is a light, airy and open watering hole. It would seem the years of memorabilia that had built up on the walls of the old Rose has been distilled into a "best of", with a lot of the footy jumpers and such still remaining. If you were a local of the Rose I could understand your hesitance ... this is not the Rose of old, this is Rose 2.0.

As I said we grabbed a table and checked the menu, the list of mains at the Rose has been streamlined to just 6 options, but to be honest I don't think you could want for anything more...

In 2010 the parma clocked in at $13. Six years later and there has been a $12 price hike to $25, which (it's sad to say) isn't out of the ordinary these days. Inflation is a bitch, especially if you're (hopefully) taking a leap in quality of ingredients.

As for beers I was set as soon as I saw Stone & Wood on tap, but there are plenty of options for the craft and non-craft lover alike, before ordering your pint do yourself a favour and run a lap of the bar to get a look at all the different taps on offer.

About 15 minutes after placing our orders the parmas arrived from the kitchen. As is tradition with Redo week, first we'll look at the 2010 Rose Hotel parma, and then at the 2016 entry...

2010 -

2016 -

Gone is the processed, heart shaped, oversized chicken nugget and in its place is a thick, plump and extremely juicy chicken breast. The black ring of ash is gone and in its place is a conservatively crumbed, well cooked hunk of chicken. What it lacks in circumference it makes up for in thickness, swelling out to well over an inch thick in parts, a major improvement over the 2010 version.

The toppings are where things get interesting, and a little contentious. The napoli was fresh, chunky and flavoursome (although I could have used a little more of it), the cheese was plentiful and well grilled, although not too noteworthy... The ham is where things get a bit interesting.

We have never had ham like this on a parma before, it had a wholly unique flavour that we have never come across in the past, and horribly hard to describe. It was extremely salty, and tasted almost brined - not unlike corned beef. I likened it to a pastrami, however my companions at the table did not completely agree with me. Whatever it was it was an absolute punch of flavour. I enjoyed it thoroughly, as did one of my fellow reviewers ... However Reviewer No. 3 was not as big of a fan, wishing they had just gone with a standard ham instead. It's a divisive ingredient and I'd say its down to personal preference as to whether or not its your thing.

Now on to the chips. A big serving of french fries served beside the parma. They were well seasoned and hot when they arrived, however unless fries (aka Macca's chips) are served absolutely perfectly they go downhill extremely fast, which these did. By the time I finished my parma and got to the fries they were cold, hard and not nearly as enjoyable as if they had've had a good quality steak chip. They weren't horribly bad, but after a pretty damn good parma they were a wholly "meh" addition

The salad landed pretty much in the exact same boat as the chips, just uninspired. A plate of nothing but rocket leaves with minimal dressing. They were fresh and crisp, but nothing more.

“Sides were forgettable, but I thought the parma was damn tasty. A different flavour coming from the ham perhaps, we’re not sure. After so many parmas ‘different’ is good”

— Matt

“Major improvement on last time, but still a couple of elements left wanting... Not sure about the h”

— Nikki

The $12 price hike since 2010 is substantial, but when you're taking such a drastic leap in quality of ingredients then it is to be expected. $25 for the bird we got is pushing it a little, but if I were to find myself at the Rose again I'd have no qualms shelling out another 25 clams. There is no mention of any discount parma night that I am aware of.

Hopefully it won't be another six years before I visit the Rose again. The parma is not without it's faults, but overall it was a solid meal in an enjoyable atmosphere. I encourage the haters online to go and visit with an open mind and don't decide that you hate the place before walking through the door. Sure it has definitely lost a bit of its old world charm, but it's still a down to earth (albeit modernised) pub with friendly staff, decent food and plenty to offer.

Pros

• Light years ahead of its 2010 counterpart
• Quality chicken breast
• Unique, flavoursome ham (although may be considered a con to some)

Cons

• Lackluster sides
• A bit pricey

Parma - 8.00

Chips - 5.17

Salad - 4.33

Value - 6.20

Total - 6.34

The search continues...

#266 - 'La Roche'

Where? - 185 Acland St. Saint Kilda

Price? - $26.50

Website? - http://www.larochestkilda.com.au/

Reviewers – Adam Y, Fridge, Lee, Luke, Matt, Nikki, Stefo & Tony

If you hadn't noticed, I'm on social media quite a bit. Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Pinterest, and yes I'm one of those annoying weirdos that constantly takes photos of his food for Instagram. So when a uniquely prepared parma like the one at St. Kilda's La Roche starts popping up in my searches regularly it sticks in my mind, like a tick burrowing into my brain that won't stop until we try the parma in question.

I held off doing La Roche for a couple of reasons - Firstly because I had a very good feeling that this was gonna be a good one, so I wanted to save it until we were in a bit of a good parma lull, and secondly getting to St. Kilda from Essendon after work on a Thursday is a monumental pain in the ass, and wanted to postpone that hassle for as long as I could.

But the tick kept burrowing, and before I suffered permanent brain damage I gave in, we loaded up the parma bus (on possibly the most horrible night of 2016 thus far) braved the torrential rain and headed to St. Kilda to try out the many parmas at La Roche.

Not quite a pub and not quite a cafe La Roche is hard to define, but whatever they're doing is working as this place was bustling with patrons. Thursday night is $15 steak night so the tables were filled with hungry punters getting their weekly fix of meat - and I must say that the steaks coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely phenomenal, definitely worth a crack if you're in the area.

If the Google street view from 2013 of La Roche is any indication this place has undergone some renovations recently. Dim lighting, exposed brick walls, dark wooden tables, those old-timey lightbulbs with far more filament than is necessary - Its a great vibe and a cosy little hole in the wall.

La Roche is a pub of many parmas - an entire page of the menu is devoted to the different varieties available...

After weighing up the options for a while I just couldn't look past the Chorizo parma - damn that sounded tasty. Normally a parma purist I just couldn't say no to some spicy sausage (thats what she said), and I figured as long as someone at the table got the Original that I could steal a bite from we'd be okay, which Reviewer Nikki did. A few more Chorizos went out around the table, along with a Hawaiian, a Mexian and a couple of Cappriciosas. We placed the order and very hungrily awaited the arrival of our meals.

The tap list at La Roche isn't huge. 150 Lashes, Boags, Hahn and 5 seeds cider on tap with a few more bottled options. Nothing too outstanding but enough to wet your whistle. Reviewer Nikki did ask me to make special mention that, and I quote, "That was the best espresso martini I have had in my life", as a the slight espresso martini addict that she is that is a huge call.

About 20 minutes after ordering (which is pretty impressive for an order of 8 parmas) our food arrived from the kitchen...

The Hawaiian -

The Chorizo -

The Capricciosa -

The Mexican -

The Original -

Lets get one thing straight - this parma is a monster. Absolutely friggin' huge and I'll admit right now that it defeated me ... much to my own shame I had to leave some of this bird on the plate as I was absolutely stuffed.

The schnitzel was good quality - pounded a little too thin for my liking but thats just a personal preference, and it's not like I walked away hungry. It was cooked well, perhaps slightly too well done, but not overly so. Just the right amount of crumbs with a solid crunch to them, I detected a strong herb flavour that I believe was through the crumbs that was slightly overpowering, but nothing criminally so.

Now ... the toppings. The biggest problem I had with this parma was that, although it was massive, the toppings started an inch or so in from the edge of the parma, meaning there was a rather sizeable ring of plain schnitzel around the outside, not unlike a really big crust on a pizza. The problem being that you eat a pizza from the inside out, not from the crust in. On the parma at La Roche it meant you were four or five proper bites away from getting anything close to toppings, and with a parma as big as this stomach space is a finite resource that I'd rather not waste on nude schnitzel. My advise would be to cut the parma in half and work your way out from the inside (again, like a pizza).

The chorizo was quite tasty and went very well with the chicken. I felt the chorizo parma as a whole could have used one more ingredient to give it a bit more kick, but overall it was very enjoyable. The napoli was present (maybe a little overcooked). The cheese was fine, good coverage and well cooked, but like all the toppings I just wished they had've gone all the way to the edge.

Reports from around the table were mostly positive. Everyone with the novelty toppings seemed to enjoy them - The only one at the table that didn't seem thrilled with their parma was Reviewer Nikki with the original, I snuck a bite and agreed - It was good, but lacking any particular punch. Definitely recommend getting this one with one of the novelty topping options.

The chips were standard pub chips. A little beige after all the effort that was clearly put into the parma itself. Cooked well and served beside the parma but desperately in need of some seasoning or chip dip.

The salad started great, the cucumber was fresh and the lettuce crisp with a rich creamy dressing, however all the good stuff was on top leaving quite a few dry leaves at the bottom. As with the chips it was good - but a couple of steps shy from great.

“Huge parma! I had the Hawaiian and quite enjoyed it. Well presented and quite tasty”

— Stefo (Hawaiian)

“I don’t often choose a deviant parma, but the chorizo option tonight tasted great all round. Generous portions of everything, challenged to clear my board!”

— Matt (Chorizo)

“My biggest criticism is that, although the parma was big, I had to cut the edges four or five times before I reached the topping. Chips could have used some seasoning”

— Nikki (Original)

“Wowsa was it big... A lil’ bland for the chorizo. Chips were nice and salad could have used a bit more variety”

— Fridge (Chorizo)

“Amazing meal, but suffered from a little Big Parma Syndrome. Had to get to the middle to get the real flavour”

— Tony (Capricciosa)

“A good parma. Good size, salad was a little average - But would try it, or one of the other ones, again”

— Luke - Capricciosa

“Although it was huge and filled my appetite the toppings were all centred in the middle. The edges were a bit burnt but considering the size thats understandable. The flavours were very good. I enjoyed it”

— Adam Y (Mexican)

$26.50 for a parma is pretty pricey, possibly one of the most expensive parmas we've reviewed, but its a $26.50 promise that you'll walk away groaning from being extremely full. $15 Parma night on Wednesday is fantastic value and if you were gonna give La Roche a crack I'd urge you to try and get down then (I'm having trouble confirming if the novelty options are part of the special or if its original only - if anyone knows let me know).

It's also worth noting that La Roche delivers via EatNow, which means if you live in the delivery radius of Balaclava, Elwood, St. Kilda or Windsor I am extremely jealous of you as this would have to be one of the best options for a home delivered parma in Melbourne. Whats the one thing in the world better than a parma? A parma that you don't even need to put on pants to enjoy.

The La Roche parma is definitely worth trying, A damn tasty parma that will definitely have you going up a notch in your belt. It's not without its issues, there could be a little more love put into the sides and some better topping coverage, but overall its a damn tasty treat. The next time you're in Acland St (and if you can get a table) be sure to give it a crack.

Pros

• Absolutely huge
• Great range of novelty toppings

Cons

• Less than full topping coverage
• So/so chips and salad

Parma - 8.13

Chips - 6.00

Salad - 5.81

Value - 6.94

Total - 7.00

The search continues...

#265 - 'The Charles Dickens Tavern'

Where? - The Block Arcade, 290 Collins St. Melbourne CBD

Price? - $23.60

Website? - http://www.charlesdickenstavern.com/

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

If you asked someone to meet you at the pub on the corner of Collins and Elizabeth street you'd probably get a confused look coupled with a query of "umm, isn't that an Optus store?". Well yes, but what you might not know is that under the feet of the consumers working out if the new iPhone is too big to fit into the pockets of their skinny jeans, is one of my all time favourite pubs in Melbourne. The Charles Dickens Tavern.

The Dickens is a pub out of place and out of time. Once you descend the stairs in the Block Arcade you will come to a heavy, wooden, leadlight laden door, and once you open it say goodbye to Melbourne as you are stepping into one of the most authentic English pubs in the state. Stand at the bar at the Charles Dickens and you can easily forget you're in Australia, and if it weren't for the 60 inch LED flatscreens and signs promoting the free WiFi you could even get the sense that you're grabbing a pint in the early 1900's

The Dickens is divided into two halves. The public bar and the "Pickwick Room", which is basically their bistro - The menu is a tad fancier in there, but the bar menu is also available if you feel like it. It wasn't overly busy when we arrived so we pulled up a pew in the public bar and grabbed a menu...

Take note of the fine print there - chips or salad or vegetables. We ordered our parmas, weren't asked any followup questions, and took our seats.

Beer selection at the Dickens is pure British pub fare. Tetley's Bitter, Newcastle Brown Ale, London Pride, as well as a selection of ciders, ginger beers and even good ol' Cartlon Draught if you aren't feeling too adventurous.

About 25 minutes after ordering our meals arrived...

After rescuing the parma from atop the pile of chips we tucked in. The schnitzel was big enough, but nothing to write home about. Inoffensive thickness and well crumbed/cooked.

The chicken breast was pure and unprocessed, slightly dry but not horribly so - Possibly the weakest element on the plate, but by no means bad ... just not that notable.

If you're a fan of cheese then you'll be a fan of the parma at the Dickens. This thing was bordering on more cheese than chicken. Absolutely smothered in the stuff and grilled to golden brown perfection, these toppings were an absolute cheesy delight.

The napoli was a little lacking, it was there, but up against the sheer wall of cheese it was kind've lost in the crowd, the same goes for the ham, when I have to check if there is both napoli and ham on the parma you know that the ratio's are a little off.

Chips were your standard pub steak fries. Well cooked and plenty of them (no salad means more room for chips I suppose). As soon as our parmas hit the table we were offered a bottle of tomato sauce for dipping - always a well received touch. A solid side but again, nothing to write home about.

As predicted in the menu the parma at the Dickens comes with the choice of chips or salad or veggies. As much as I love a good salad I'm not giving up my chippies in favour of them, so we're invoking the You don't win friends with salad rule for this review.

A little over $23 for this parma? If it had been served with salad I would have been a little happier - but as it isn't the value score is gonna take a definite hit. It wasn't bad by any shot - but I won't be running out to have this one at full price again. There is a Monday night $20 parma and pot special that I would recommend hitting if you're at all curious, but I would be hesitant to hit it again at full price.

You should go to the Charles Dickens Tavern, its one of Melbourne's most unique pubs and it absolutely tears me apart to give this parma a less than glowing review. It's a fantastic little watering hole with unmatched atmosphere that pours a mean pint and I'll be back down those stairs very soon, I wont be rushing back for the parma though.

Pros

• Amazing pub
• Great range of English beers
• A cheese lovers parma

Cons

• Chips OR Salad
• Other toppings lost amongst the cheese

Parma - 6.75

Chips - 6.5

Salad - YDWFWS Rule invoked - 5

Value - 3.75

Total - 5.75

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'The Sporting Globe: Addendum'

Where? - 690 Mount Alexander Rd, Moonee Ponds (with other locations in Werribee, Richmond, Fountain Gate, Watergardens, Geelong and Rockingham)

Price? - $24.90

Website? - http://www.sportingglobe.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo

UPDATE 05/09/19 - We revisited the Globe to see what was new. Check it out here!

Cards on the table - We had not planned to visit the Sporting Globe this week.

All this week the plan was to visit Essendon's exceedingly popular Crème cafe, but (as seems to be a recurring theme this year) when I called on Thursday afternoon to secure our table I was told that they were completely booked out. Crap.

So in a last minute scramble for ideas I remembered that the Sporting Globe had recently introduced a new parma to their novelty line up, a special parma designed by 2014 MasterChefTMWinner Brent Owens...

The "Smoked Cheddar Parma" with ale infused tomato relish, streaky bacon, mozzarella and smoked cheddar. It was supposed to be a "limited time only" thing but it would seem that the Globe has promoted it to permanent menu status.

But this brings us to a conundrum! We have reviewed the Moonee Ponds Sporting Globe before, and we have also reviewed the novelty parma line-up at the Watergardens location. So what does this review count as? It's not a redo as its a different kind of parma, but its not a new location so we can't really give it a numbered review and its own spot on the ladder - Which is why I have come up with a new category on the fly, this review will serve as an Addendum to the previous two reviews. Part special attempt, part new review. Its its own thing (and yes, I'm making this up as I go ... sue me).

I'm not really going to cover the decor of the Globe as after two reviews it has already been covered ad nauseam. If you haven't already you should check out our last two reviews here and here, as I'm probably going to refer back to them a lot from this point out.

We arrived at the Globe and grabbed the menus ... I'm always surprised at how often the Globe must reprint their full sized, massive menus, as they never seem to be the same every time I visit. We spied our targets...

Interesting to note that a version of the "Smashed Avo" parma was on the specials menu the last time we visited a Sporting Globe under the name "Parmacado", and, like the Smoked Cheddar, has also received a promotion to full menu status. Reviewer Pat had to make things difficult and ordered himself the Smashed Avo parma ... Everyone else got the Smoked Cheddar.

Now one big disappointment ... The Sporting Globe Moonee Ponds used to carry Stone & Wood on tap, but as of last night's visit it is no longer available. Still a decent variety of beers on tap, but I was definitely sad to see Stone & Wood missing from the selection.

After about a pint's worth of wait, the parmas arrived.

Pat's Smashed Avo parma -

Our Smoked Cheddar parma -

First up, the schnitzel. What a hunk of bird this was. If we scored just on thickness this baby would get a 10. Thick as buggery with the perfect level of crunchy crumbs - However (and this is probably the biggest fault of the entire parma) it was extremely dry, and mine was served a little bit colder than what I would normally like. Great quality ingredients but faltered a little in the execution.

Now ... the toppings, boy were they divisive, and I'll do my best to convey everyone's opinions, both positive and negative.

The napoli was very interesting. It was almost a barbecue style sauce, but extremely sweet. A very dominant flavour that permeated the whole dish. I wished they had've made it more of a sauce than a relish as that would have helped a little with the overall dryness of the dish.

The streaky bacon was present, but lacked any significant punch. When I'm sold a parma on the promise of special bacon I want a pig to climb out from under the cheese and smack me in the face while I'm eating it.

The smokey cheddar and mozzarella blend was actually damn tasty. The smokiness of the cheddar carried through the dish well. I would have liked a little more power too it (I like my cheese flavoursome) but it did the job well.

The toppings on this parma promised a lot, and they delivered for the most part - However I feel that overall they were a little muted. It might have just been high expectations but I wanted fireworks of flavour from this dish, and at most all I got was a few sparklers.

Oh, and over the other side of the table reviewer Pat really enjoyed his Smashed Avo parma ... lots of thumbs ups and mumbles of "this is tasty!" causing quite a bit of food envy from everyone else.

Apologies for the blur, this is what happens when, after four pints, you pick the photo you want to use and delete the others that you took.

When the MasterChefTM designed parma first hit the Sporting Globe menu it was served with a side of special sweet potato fries (visible in the first photo above). It would seem this got the chop in the move from the specials board to the full menu and have been replaced with the standard Sporting Globe chips - And I'm not complaining one bit. The Globe's chips have always been on point, and last night was no exception. Served hot, crispy and well seasoned with chicken salt. Absolute winners as per usual. 

An element that didn't get cut on the move was the apple & celeriac salad, and (once again) this was a great choice. Creamy, flavoursome and slightly peppery - it was a great little salad. It looked small on the plate but was quite rich, I don't think I could've eaten much more if I wanted too. A very welcome addition.

“An interesting rendition of the parma. I enjoyed the slaw and the parma was filled with original flavours and toppings. The chips at the globe, as always, make everything worthwhile - But if I had the choice again I’d stick to something more original”

— Stefo

“Above average”

— Pat (Smashed Avo Parma)

“I was not a fan of this parma as it was so dry. The chips were definitely the star. In the future I would stick to the original”

— Nikki

“Not bad, was a little dry. Chicken salt on nice thick cut chips and the apple slaw was bang on!”

— Fridge

$24.90 is a bit steep for this, but everything at the Sporting Globe is a bit pricey so that's not out of the ordinary. It would seem from the website that the $15.90 specialty parmas on Wednesday's still stands ... I would have to assume that these two special parmas would be included. Definitely worth a crack at this price.

As I said earlier, this was a divisive parma. I definitely enjoyed it - but not nearly as much as I should have due to the issues with the schnitzel. If I found myself at the Globe again I wouldn't rush to try the Cheddar, but would probably either stick to the original variety or see what all the fuss was about with the smashed avo one.

As this is an Addendum I won't show the scores that we took, but they were pretty much in line with our past scores for the Globe's parmas. High in the 6's, not quite a 7 ... Still worth a shot if you're in the area (and the buffalo bites are still phenomenal).

The search continues...

#264 - 'The Stone Hotel'

Where? - 298-300 Brunswick St. Fitzroy

Price? - $22

Website? - www.thestonehotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Stefo

I was a bit nervous to head back to Fitzroy - The last time we were here we crowned a new king ... Any pub that was to follow that well and truly had their work cut out for them, so best to pick a pub that we had heard a lot of good things about before even leaving the house - We loaded up the Parma Bus and headed to Brunswick Street's Stone Hotel.

From outside the Stone's bright white facade is striking to say the least, and the interior is no less impressive. I don't think they have heard the word "Plaster" in this pub as everything is exposed. Exposed brick, exposed bluestone, exposed steel beams in the roof. Brightly lit with a welcoming vibe and plenty of space to stretch out.

We took a seat and checked the menu...

The menu description kept it simple, no clues as to what we were gonna receive there. We placed our orders and eagerly awaited the arrival of our dinners, We noticed a sign advertising a "Beer Garden" upstairs so we did some investigating ... beside what would be an outstanding function room we discovered what I would call more of a "rooftop courtyard" than a garden, but pleasant none the less. Cosy yet spacious and all that you really need if you're desperate for a fix of beers in the sun.

The tap list at the stone is relatively impressive - Plenty of options to tickle almost any fancy from the simple to the craft. Mountain Goat, 4 Pines, Young Henrys ... the list goes on.

About 15 - 20 minutes after ordering our meals hit the table...

I was a bit hesitant when I saw what looked like a not-so-great schnitzel, but hot damn looks can be deceiving. Plump, juicy chicken breast with crumb that carried a fantastic crunch throughout. Very thick and perfectly cooked - This is how I like my schnitzels. Outstanding

The toppings were just as impressive, and equally deceiving. When I first saw the odd orange-tinted napoli I was hesitant, but again proven wrong as it was absolutely bursting with flavour - Rich, creamy and plenty of it.

The cheese was probably the weakest part of the dish, but by no means bad. Plenty of it, but it didn't really pack any punch and could have definitely used another few minutes under the grill.

Its a good thing that we're ending on a positive note though, because the ham was absolutely amazing - By far the star of the topping trio. Rich, smokey and packed with a solid punch of flavour, definitely elevated this parma from great to fantastic.

The chips were on par with the parma. Beer battered delights. Perfectly cooked, well seasoned, served beside the parma and even delivered with a pot of sauce for dipping... What else do you want?

The first few mouthfuls of the salad were outstanding. For a basic garden salad of lettuce, onion, cucumber and tomato it was absolutely packed with flavour from being very well dressed in an extremely sharp dressing, very heavy on the lemon juice. It was extremely enjoyable to begin with, but quickly became overpowering, back off the lemon juice just a tad and this would be a salad on par with the other elements on the plate.

“Delicious juicy parma - the flavour from the ham was amazing. I love a lot of dressing in the salad but this was a little too much for my liking”

— Nikki

“A lot of positives in this parma. Thick juicy bird, tasty chips and a zingy salad. I would have liked my cheese under the heat a bit longer and maybe a blend of cheese to spice it up - But these are very minor criticisms of what is an otherwise great parma”

— Stefo

I enjoyed this parma immensely, and would have absolutely no qualms shelling out another $22 to try it again. Even better, the Stone offers a $15 parma night on Wednesdays - Outstanding value for an outstanding parma.

Welp, looks like Fitzroy has delivered the goods once again! I was very happy with the quality and flavour of this parma, and with the pub itself - A great spot to stop into for a pint, a feed and a good time. Worth checking out.

Pros

• Amazing flavours throughout a quality parma
• Top notch chips

Cons

• Salad dressing a little sour

Parma - 8.50

Chips - 8.17

Salad - 7.17

Value - 7.70

Total - 8.01

The search continues...

#263 - 'The Victoria Inn'

Where? - 65-67 Douglas Pde. Williamstown

Price? - $19

Website? - http://www.thevictoriainn.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Stefo

Hello all! Hope you had a great Easter break, and you're currently reading this review in a chocolate-induced stupor brought on by the consumption of at least half of your body weight in Humpty Dumptys and Cadbury bunnies.

As it was Easter, last Friday marked the annual Good Friday Appeal for the Royal Children's Hospital, what you may not know is that for the last ten years the ALH pub group has been running what they call "Parma Week" wherein $2 of every parma sold at any of their 80+ participating venues around the state for the week leading up to Good Friday goes directly to the Royal Children's - An initiative we're always happy to support.

Think of a pokies pub anywhere in Melbourne's inner (or outer) suburbs and dollars to donuts you're thinking of an ALH pub, so we had plenty of choices to pick from for this weeks parma review - Unfortunately ALH pubs don't have the best reputation when it comes to their culinary prowess, In my experience their parmas are your standard processed oversized chicken nugget garbage and as much as I wanted to support their charitable spirit, I also didn't want to eat a crappy parma.  So I hit Google in an effort to find a pub in the ALH group that also had a decent reputation for their food. Which we found in the Victoria Inn.

Well, mostly. Online reviews for this place were pretty harsh, mainly complaining about a lack of atmosphere and the presence of pokies, but in a strange anomaly a lot of the reviews I read (even the negative ones) ended along the lines of "... but the parma was pretty good". Good enough for us! With expectations suitably low we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Williamstown.

We arrived at the Vic and were pleasantly surprised - If you could tune out the jingle of the pokies room the front bar at the Vic actually had a bit of character. Multiple seating options, a small lounge area and some booths - It wasn't going to win any awards for interior design, but it was a very cosy little space.

The dining room could use a little on the atmosphere front, but it wasn't offensive - just a bit bland. Four walls and some tables with a TV up in the corner (lucky, as the first game of the 2016 AFL season was kicking off when we arrived). There were a few diners there already and filling up fast, so we grabbed a seat, checked the menu...

... and placed our orders at the bar.

ALH pubs are pretty notorious for not having a great range of beers. Most of the time if you don't enjoy VB or Carlton Draught you're out of luck, So imagine my surprise when I noticed that the Victoria Inn were also rocking a tap of Cricketers Arms Scorcher Summer Ale - A beverage I was happy to partake in.

Footy on the TV, beer in hand, expectations for the food about as low as they can get, we settled in ... and about 20 minutes later our meals arrived at the table.

That ... actually didn't look too bad! Despite being rather small (a fact emphasised by it being placed on a massively empty plate) the schnitzel was unprocessed, plump chicken breast. It was definitely on the small side, but thick, juicy and served absolutely scalding hot. The crumbs, while a little on the soggy side, weren't offensively applied.

Was expecting an oversized chicken nugget, wound up getting an undersized great quality schnitzel... I'm gonna take that as a win.

The toppings were all acceptable, although nothing really blew us away. The napoli's flavour dominated the palate, rich and chunky. The cheese was applied liberally and well melted. The ham was there ... but not really detectable.

Although not amazing everything was perfectly fine, and (again) much better than expected.

The chips were pretty middle of the road. Pub chips with a desperate need for some seasoning, much like the parma they were served piping hot, and due to all the free plate real estate from the salad coming out separately not a single one was served under the parma - which was greatly appreciated. I could have definitely used an extra handful though.

As I mentioned moments ago, the salad was served in its own bowl that was actually delivered from the kitchen separately from the parma. It was your standard garden salad. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion and some radish slices. Everything was fresh and crisp with a healthy dose of balsamic. Refreshing and delicious.

“Great initiative to donate to the Good Friday Appeal. Parma was quite tasty but I would have loved it a little bigger”

— Nikki

“Slight improvements to the size of the parma, chips and salad could see this up there ... Surprisingly!”

— Stefo

If I were in Williamstown I'd happily pay $19 to have this parma again, at no point did I feel like I was getting ripped off with the quality of ingredients. The Victoria offers an $18 parma n' pot Wednesday night special with 5 different novelty varieties available. If you're a Willy local this sounds like a decent deal and definitely the night to visit if you're planning on checking out what the Victoria Inn has to offer.

I wouldn't go back to Williamstown just for this parma, but if I found myself at the Victoria Inn I would have no qualms ordering it again. It is probably the best parma I've had from an ALH pub, which I'm aware isn't saying much, but makes me kind've happy to know that they aren't all terrible. And props again to them for 10 years of Parma Week for the Good Friday Appeal - Will catch them again for year 11.

Pros

• Surprisingly good quality chicken breast
• Salad served in separate bowl

Cons

• Quite a small schnitzel
• Soggy crumbs
• Chips needed seasoning

Parma - 7.17

Chips - 6.33

Salad - 7.00

Value - 7.00

Total - 6.93

The search continues...

#262 - 'Temple Brewing Company'

Where? - 122 Weston St. Brunswick East

Price? - $25

Website? - http://templebrewing.com.au/

Reviewers – Kylie B, Lee, Pat, Shanan

Let me paint you a word picture.

A couple of weeks ago I was heading out for a birthday dinner with the in-laws. We were headed to Brunswick East's Gelobar for a night of beers, grub, and without a doubt, some gelati (I had a parma that night too, off the books, if you follow us on Instagram you might have spied it). As expected there was zero street parking out the front of Gelobar on Lygon Street, so instead we found an underground carpark down Weston St.

Walking out of the carpark and towards the restaurant I heard the sound of frivolity, curiously I investigated and discovered, nestled in between two warehouses, was an impressive looking beer garden, buzzing with people.

I had discovered Temple. I stopped my wife and said the seven words she rolls her eyes at almost weekly "I wonder if they do a parma". Checked the menu by the door and yes ... yes they did. I locked the location in my brain to try at a later date, and last Friday night, that later date was upon us.

TL;DR - Saw a pub, saw they had a parma, went there.

First up, if you're thinking of checking out Temple after reading this review I highly recommend you book a table. I called to book a table on Thursday afternoon and was told we wouldn't be able to secure a table until 9pm - the place was packed. Friday night rolled around and, after killing an hour or so at the nearby Alehouse Project, headed over to Temple bar and took our seats.

The beer garden and downstairs area was packed to capacity, we were led upstairs to a secondary dining area that has a damn impressive view...

Did I mention Temple is a working brewery? Yeah. Awesome.

We checked the menu, spied our target...

... and placed our orders at the bar.

As you'd expect, being a brewery means that Temple has an impressive array of their own beers available. I could go on for hours about the beers we tried, but I've already waffled on for 387 words without getting to the parma - So I'll just say that the Bicycle Beer is delicious, and the tasting rack ($15) is highly recommended.

About 25 minutes after ordering, our parmas appeared -

Of all the elements of the dish, I think the schnitzel was the weakest. It was big enough and decently thick, but the chicken itself was very dense and a little on the dry side. Saying that it was real chicken breast, which it gets points for at the very least.

The crumbs were ... odd, but nothing we haven't come across before (Abbotsford's Yarra Hotel springs to mind), in that they had the texture of a piece of grilled flake, seemingly more battered than crumbed. A weird choice, I can't say I'm a huge fan - but definitely not a dealbreaker by any means.

With a weak schnitzel the toppings had their work cut out for them to save this bird - and they succeeded for the most part. Plenty of flavoursome cheese, melted to perfection and quite a tasty blend. The ham was not lost amongst the other strong elements to the dish and the napoli was bold, rich and complimented the parma well. Brought this one back from the brink.

The chips were middle-of-the-road standard pub chips, maybe a little undercooked. Not bad, not great, not a lot to say about them at all. They served their purpose.

When I saw the salad I thought it was going to be bad. Usually when a salad is nothing more than a pile of leaves I prepare myself for a let down ... But in this case I was pleasantly surprised. The dressing definitely saved the day. Tangy and punchy, but not too overpowering. Not bad at all.

“It was tasty. No complaints, but not amazing”

— Kylie

“Great place for a beer”

— Shanan

“Average at best - Chips were undercooked”

— Pat

There's no sugar coating it, $25 for this parma is pretty steep. $25 and up is reserved for the best of the best, and while Temple's parma is pretty good, There's no way its worth $25. $20 - $22? Sure, I could make peace with that, But $25 hurts a little. From what I can tell there aren't any parma night specials on the cards.

Temple Brewery is an awesome spot to check out. Grabbing a bite in the presence of a working brewery is a unique experience that I would definitely recommend, and its not often you get to drink an awesome beer mere steps from where it was created. The parma isn't bad, not by a long shot - but its not the best we've had either.

Maybe worth it if you're in the area - although prepare your wallet for a sting.

Pros

• Amazing place
• Great beers
• Tasty toppings

Cons

• Dense, dry schnitzel

Parma - 5.67

Chips - 5.75

Salad - 5.50

Value - 5.63

Total - 5.64

The search continues...

#261 - 'Bells Hotel'

Where? - 157 Moray St. South Melbourne

Price? - $22

Website? - http://www.bellshotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Matt, Stefo

We're stretching our legs this week! After a year of attempts pretty much exclusively North of the CBD we decided it was well past due to mix it up, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed to one of the many pubs on our list in South Melbourne - Bells Hotel.

The Bells is a pub of many personalities. The front bar is airy and light with plenty of space to breathe, The dining area behind it is classy and elegant and the sports bar is a more casual affair with everything you would need for a day on the punt (with a few pokies thrown in for good measure). In preparation for this review we had heard a lot of rumours about the fantastic outdoor courtyard and unmatched rooftop marquee - Unfortunately Melbourne's weather was being a harsh bitch on this particular Thursday evening, so persistent rainfall kept us from checking those areas out ... Will save them for next time.

We started with a pint in the sports bar while waiting for the whole group to arrive, then quickly moved through to the dining room, pulled up a chair and checked the menu...

It's not often we get such a wide variety of options for the base - The eggplant is worth noting for the vegetarians out there. The choice is nice, but being slaves to the almighty chook everyone at the table opted for a chicken parma.

Range of beers on tap was decent, nothing that blew me out of the water in terms of selection The James Squire Swindler Summer Ale did the job just fine.

After a surprisingly short wait (10 minutes at the most) our parmas hit the table...

First up - The Schnitzel. Not winning any "biggest chook on the farm" awards, but big enough to be filling. It was mostly thick, but had been hammered a little shy of too thin in some areas. The crumbs weren't laid on too thick and carried an almighty crunch.

The chicken was pure, stunningly white chicken breast all the way through - It carried a great flavour although was a little on the dry side, and to be honest mine could have been served hotter - But otherwise it was a pretty solid start to the dish.

The toppings that were there were great - Plenty of cheese grilled to bubbly golden brown perfection, along with a rich and flavoursome napoli. However this is a parma devoid of ham. Now our official stance at ParmaDaze is that we are ham agnostic - As we have had many damn good parmas without a piece of pork that have fared just fine, and we don't consider it an absolute essential part of the dish if you do everything else right.

However a slice of ham would have brought this parma to life. Everyone at the table had pretty much the same thought - This was a good parma, but with a bit of pork it would be great.

When I first saw the chips on the plate I thought "ho hum ... standard unseasoned pub chips". Hot diggity I was wrong. I don't know what they seasoned these chips with, but they were absolutely bursting with flavour. Piping hot, crunchy and soft at the same time - I was regretting not ordering a side of gravy for chip dip - but honestly these chips didn't need it. A fantastic surprise.

The salad looked damn impressive. An explosion of colour across the plate served as the side to this parma. Lettuce, cucumber, onion and capsicum - Simple, but effective. The dressing used was delicious but there could have been a little more of it, as some areas of the salad were a little dry.

I'm not sure what got into the other reviewers this week, as they were all damn talkative in their quotes! Lets see what they had to say -

“Quite tasty. Parma was a little overcooked, would have been great with some smoked ham. The parts of the salad that had dressing were delicious - But it could have used some more”

— Nikki

“I think a nice bit of smoked ham would have complimented this parma nicely. The dressing on the salad was also very tasty but not evenly spread. Chips were standard. A little more zing throughout and a little more love could make this good parma into a great one!”

— Stefo

“A little thin for what we’re used to, yet this parma was an all round good portion size. Napoli was full of flavour though some ham would have really made this one shine. Chips were a good surprise, salad was a little light on veggies - all weed salads are boring”

— Matt

I'd be happy to pay $22 for this parma again. It had its faults, but I walked out satisfied. There is a "$15 mains" specials night on Tuesdays that is definitely worth poking your head into if you're in the area.

I liked Bells. I am keen to come back once the weather clears up and check out the famed rooftop, as if its put together as well as the rest of the pub I'm sure it would be an impressive sight. As I said, the parma isn't perfect, and there's definitely room for improvement - But I walked out with a smile on my face. Decent if you're in the area.

Pros

• Tasty chips
• Quality ingredients
• Solid salad
• Spoilt for choice (Chicken, Veal, Pork, Eggplant)

Cons

• Needs ham
• Served slightly not hot enough.

Parma - 7.38

Chips - 7.13

Salad - 6.38

Value - 6.88

Total - 7.03

The search continues...

#260 - 'Keilor East RSL: Redux'

Where? - 12-22 Hoffmans Rd, Essendon

Price? - $21.95 Non-Members, $19.95 Members

Website? - http://www.keiloreastrsl.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Stefo

At the start of the year I made the declaration that we would no longer be doing parma restaurants purely out of convenience, that we would be going the extra mile to try and track down the best of the best - regardless of how much of a pain in the ass they are to get to on a Thursday evening.

Well, even though the Keilor East RSL is about a three minute drive from my house, This is an exception to the rule ... and I'll tell you why.

In December last year, right on the lead up to Christmas, I received an email from the Keilor East RSL That told the story of a new chef that had taken over the kitchen, had overhauled the parma after reading our less than positive review in 2012, but as our old review was still active they were still getting cancellations on reservations for Christmas parties due to people doing a bit of pre-dinner googling and finding our post.

This made me sad, I felt horrible that we were costing an RSL business after they had put in the hard yards to fix their parma. When I got their email we were winding up reviews for the year, so I vowed that we would slot it in as the first Redo of the new year.

They say that Old Man ParmaDaze's heart grew three sizes that day...

"But PD!" You might be saying to yourself "It's March! Surely if it was so important you wouldn't have waited until the third month of the year!" Well, dear reader, this was not our first attempt to visit the Keilor East RSL in 2016. You might recall at the start of our review of the Pascoe Vale Hotel in January (our second review of the year) we rocked up to the RSL and were flabbergasted to find the place absolutely packed to capacity... I guess our negative review wasn't hurting them too much as we were literally unable to get a table on a Thursday night, so we hit up the Pascoe and made plans to revisit the RSL again when we next had the chance, which we did last night ... with a booking this time.

When we arrived the place was again completely full, it even looked like they had squeezed a few more tables into the public bar area to make room. We took a seat, checked the menu ...

... and placed our order (with an added side of gravy for an extra $1.50). The two different prices you see listed there are the prices for members and non-members, every purchase (including the beers) at the East Keilor RSL has a discount for members. Speaking of beers, you wouldn't expect anything too crafty from an RSL, and the Keilor East is pretty much what you'd expect. Draught & VB - Nothing too fancy, but it was ice cold and did the job.

We mentioned last time that the fresh Bake-at-home rolls that we got after ordering were the highlight of the meal, much to our delight they haven't gone anywhere - and served as a tasty pre-game before the main event arrived.

If you can't be bothered reading through the last review, the cliff notes are basically this - Toppings were good, but a hugely processed chicken breast let down the entire meal. Chips were okay but needed seasoning and the salad was ... decent.

After a short wait the parmas arrived at the table. As is tradition with re-reviews first we will take a look at what the parma used to look like before checking the new one.

Before (2012) -

After (2016) -

From the moment it hit the table I knew it was an improvement, and cutting through the chicken my suspicions were confirmed. Gone was the processed oversized chicken nugget of a schnitzel and in its place a pure white, piping hot and juicy chicken breast. A little variance in thickness throughout but plump enough leave you satisfied at the end. Nothing fancy with the crumbs but they were applied conservatively. Very skilfully cooked with zero traces of burnt edges like its predecessor. A top notch foundation for this parma.

If you're a fan of chunky napoli then this one's for you - plenty of onion chunks and diced tomato throughout makes this the second chunkiest napoli I think we've had (The Plough still takes the #1 spot on that front), it tasted great with perhaps a slightly metallic aftertaste, so I'm rather confident they used tinned tomatoes in the recipe. The cheese was perfectly browned and tasty however the ham, while plentiful, was a little lost among the other elements of the parma.

After a quick extraction from underneath the parma the chips were pretty good, a definite improvement on their 2012 counterpart. That being said they still could have used some seasoning and were a little plain ... I'm glad the extra $1.50 for gravy. But they were well cooked and plenty of them, can't complain too much.

The salad was probably the only element that was not as enjoyable as the previous review. Gone was the beetroot and capsicum that made this salad shine and what was left was a pretty basic garden salad. The creamy dressing was tasty and it served its purpose, but the old salad packed a punch that was sorely lacking this time around.

“The meal has definitely improved. Still love the bread rolls”

— Nikki

“Real chicken this time, nicely cooked. Sides were pretty “meh”, but for an RSL this was a pretty good meal”

— Stefo

For the non-members price of $21.95 I was pretty happy with the meal I received. It's a down to earth meal in a jovial family atmosphere that I'd happily try again. It's worth noting that the Keilor East RSL offers a $15.95 parma Tuesday with a bunch of variety toppings that I'd be very keen to investigate further - If you're at all curious about checking it out that would be the day I'd recommend you head down.

I'm glad we revisited the Keilor East RSL, it's such a friendly little spot and it never sat well with me that we gave it a bad review. Great to hear they turned it around to a parma I'd have no problems recommending ... If only for the bread rolls.

Pros

• Marked improvement on the previous attempt
• No more processed schnitzel

Cons

• Salad has lost its mojo

Parma - 7.33

Chips - 5.83

Salad - 5.00

Value - 5.83

Total - 6.27

The search continues...

#259 - 'The Northcote Social Club'

Where? - 301 High Street. Northcote

Price? - $25

Website? - http://northcotesocialclub.com/

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki, Pat

The Northcote Social Club is the lost parma review. A few years ago I couldn't make it to a review as I was away on Holiday (Possibly my Honeymoon? Can't quite remember) and delegated the weekly parma review duties to Reviewer Pat - Who gathered a team, headed to Northcote and gave the Social Club's parma a crack.

Then he pretty much forgot to do anything after that. No review was written, nothing went up on the site, the world (amazingly) kept on spinning.

I didn't realise this when I picked the Northcote as our destination this week and was only informed once we had locked it in that we had, in fact, done this parma before, Although from what I can gather this was before the swanky new renovations took place. I figure since the review never actually made it to the site there was no drama in finally giving the Northcote Social Club a review (granted it was a little late, but we got there eventually!)

I briefly mentioned the renovations earlier - This pub looks great. The front bar & band room are pretty much your standard pub fare - but the open air dining area and beer garden out the back is where this pub really shines. There are covered areas with fans & heaters if you need to take shelter from the elements, but also an uncovered spot up the back if you want to see the stars above.

Wednesday is vegan/vegetarian takeover night at the Northcote, so as well as the standard menu there is also a full vegan specials menu available to choose from, right down to vegan and gluten free beers (no vegan parmas unfortunately).

So amid all the happy patrons chowing down on couscous and quinoa, we checked the menu, spied our target...

... and placed our orders at the bar.

The range of beers on tap at the Northcote is adequate - Nothing overly craft focussed but should be enough to keep everyone happy. From Melbourne Bitter to Mountain Goat Steam Ale I'm sure you'll find something to wet your whistle, and if you're really feeling fancy theres a decent range of bottled beers available as well (Stone & Wood, Two Birds, Moon Dog ... You name it).

Around 15 - 20 minutes after ordering the parmas arrived at the table -

The parma looked impressive on the plate. Only served slightly on the chips but most of them were free to breathe. The chicken breast schnitzel was a little small, not overly so - but varied a little in thickness, ranging from "damn thats thick" to "hmm ... this is a little thin". It was cooked well for the most part, conservatively crumbed and carried a great crunch.

My biggest complaint would be the chicken itself came out quite dry - there was a lot of napoli on top, which helped a bit, but the dryness of the bird was still very much detectable.

The toppings were all pretty good. The cheese was a flavoursome tasty blend, As I mentioned the napoli was plentiful and carried a light tangy flavour that complimented the dish well.

The ham was fine, had a great taste to it that definitely made its presence known - However I'm not sure just how "off the bone" it was as the menu states, seemed like pretty standard sliced stuff to me. Either way there was plenty of it and it all worked well.

The chips were pretty great. Beer battered, well cooked, crunchy and delightful. They were in need of a little salt, but there was plenty available at the cutlery station along with both tomato and HP sauce for dipping. A fine addition to the meal.

The salad was pretty much an afterthought - Dry, mostly wilted leaves with barely any dressing to speak of. Definitely needed a bit more love on the salad front.

“Overall quite a tasty meal, but I’m not sure its worth the price. Chips were good but the salad needed more dressing and I’m not sure the ham was shaved off the bone as advertised”

— Nikki

“If it’s the same meal you get on a Monday night for $15 then I’d stick with that. Not worth $25 but great for $15”

— Pat

Reviewer Pat pretty much just stole my next paragraph for his quote, but he is spot on - $25 is a pricey parma, and while this was a perfectly fine meal I would hesitate in shelling out another 25 clams for it again. The Northcote offers a "Monday Mass" $15 chicken or eggplant parma and $15 jugs from 6pm. At $15 this parma is an absolute belter and definitely one you should check out ... but for $25 it falls a bit shy of the mark.

I really enjoyed my trip to the Northcote - The pub looked great, the beer was cold and the parma was a damn fine meal short of a few minor quibbles. Overall it was a great parma - Just not a $25 dollar parma.

Pros

• Quality chips
• Tasty toppings
• Amazing beer garden/dining area

Cons

• Chicken was a little dry
• No love in the salad
• Expensive for what you get

Parma - 7.50

Chips - 8.33

Salad - 4.33

Value - 4.00

Total - 6.33

The search continues...

#258 - 'The Empress Hotel'

Where? - 714 Nicholson St, Fitzroy North

Price? - $24.50

Website? - http://theempress.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Pat, Stefo

I think I've started at least a hundred parma reviews with the line "We've driven past this place many times and never gone in", but gosh darn it, thats exactly what I'm gonna say about The Empress. Right down near the Brunswick end of Nicholson Street, this pub managed to stay completely off the radar until last year when they underwent a massive renovation, and we sat up and took notice.

The pub looks absolutely fantastic inside. Beautifully renovated while still maintaining its old world Aussie pub charm. There's a cosy beer garden off to the side that was already bustling with people and a dining room to the back that was filling up fast.

We pulled up a pew in the main bar, with a view of the footy and an eye on the selection of beer taps, and checked the menu -

Target acquired, we placed our orders at the bar.

If you're a craft beer fan you're in for a treat. The Empress has a fantastic selection of beers to suit every taste. We started the night on the "Feature Tap" listed above - the Bosco's Grapefruit and Cucumber IPA from Moon Dog. A very unique drop with strong cucumber notes, and overall a very tasty beer! (and at 6.8% it packs a punch as well). We rotated through some of the other beers throughout the night, but the Bosco's was definitely the one to try.

The food arrived a little staggered, but that's understandable as we ordered separately.

As soon as it hit the table I knew - this would be a unique parma.

The schnitzel sizes varied from plate to plate, ranging from "It could be bigger" to "thats a bit too small". They were all pure chicken breast, well cooked with only the slightest hint of burn on one of the parmas. The crumbs appeared to be home made and herbed, but suffered from a nasty case of sogginess throughout - the schnitz had zero crunch to it. Thick enough, but not winning any awards there - They did well retaining the juiciness of the chicken.

A competent start with only some minor issues, the toppings were really going to make or break this parma!

Let me start by saying that I love prosciutto, and the Empress is most definitely a prosciutto lover's parma. Lashings of freshly shaved ham were not in short supply at all, which added prosciuttos trademark saltiness - Which can, and has in the past, been a little to overpowering and salty, but here it worked well.

(Fun fact - Prosciutto is sometimes known as "Parma ham" ... hah!)

Unfortunately the rest of the toppings let this parma down. The cheese, while being extremely creamy, didn't add a whole lot to the flavour profile of this parma. The napoli was a non-event, much like the cheese there was plenty there, but in the end it just fell flat.

Rather than the standard chips, the Empress had switched things up a bit and opted for a side of duck fat roasted potatoes instead, and let me tell you - They are an absolute triumph. The best part of the dish by far, these potatoes were absolutely delicious. Crisp and crunchy on the outside opening up to fluffy clouds of potato inside. Fantastic flavour that barely needed seasoning - I could have easily downed a full plate of these solo. A very welcome change from the norm.

The salad/coleslaw looked great on the plate, but had some very strong flavours from mint and capers that I doubt are to everyones taste. A salad is usually good as a palate cleanser, but this one is so strong (and sour) and completely obliterated it. It might be for someone, but definitely not for me ... not a fan.

The Empress is a prosciutto lovers parma, and in the end that will be the deciding factor if its one for you or it isn't.

“Not a fan of the salad. The prosciutto was a nice touch. Potatoes definitely the star”

— Nikki

“The parma was definitely different. The sides were also original but lacked that ‘zing’ that would have made this worth coming back for”

— Stefo

“Different but not amazing. Spuds were the highlight”

— Pat

“My parma was not much bigger than some chicken nuggets, the piece of chook was thin and a bit tough. Apart from that it was a nice change of pace to have roast taters with the meal, the salad was different, just not to my liking”

— Fridge

Its clear the Empress is going for the "Gourmet parma" market with this one, and its definitely coming at a gourmet price. $24.50 is a little steep when it comes to parmas, but they are definitely pulling out all the stops when it comes to the quality of ingredients and lets face it, you get what you pay for.

There aren't any parma nights that I can see, but the Empress does offer a pretty sweet Pint club if you're there often -

I won't be rushing back to the Empress to have their parma again, but I wouldn't be completely against it should I find myself in the area. It's a quality pub with a great atmosphere, and god damn those chips are tasty.

Pros

• Duck fat potatoes are phenomenal
• If you like prosciutto, you'll like this parma
• Great range of beers

Cons

• Small schnitzel
• Unpleasant salad

Parma - 6.00

Chips - 8.50

Salad - 3.80

Value - 5.80

Total - 6.02

The search continues...

#257 - 'Misty's Diner'

Where? - 765 Gilbert Rd, Reservoir

Price? - $25.90 for both varieties

Website? - http://www.mistysdiner.com.au/

Reviewers – Carly, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo

Well, its Superbowl week - The week more than any other in Australia where we seem to celebrate all things American - So this week we decided to get into the Yankee spirit and check out one of the most American places in Melbourne - Misty's Diner.

Before heading to Misty's I asked around, and the general consensus seemed to be along the lines of "Its an experience" and "the food will shave years off your life" ... Sounds like my kind've spot, so we loaded up the parma bus, cranked some Sweet Home Alabama, and headed to Misty's Diner

Oh, and just to clarify for this review we visited the Misty's in Reservoir - They have another location in Prahran, but from the looks of things they're pretty much the same experience at both spots.

Walking into the (obviously an old Red Rooster) Diner, I instantly see what everyone meant by an "experience" This place is top to bottom gaudy American chic. The outfits, the licence plates on the roof, the music, the glass case of authentic american candies - this place is on point.

We grabbed a table and checked the menu. We were told to make sure we went in hungry, and after hitting some traffic on the way there we were absolutely famished by the time we arrived - so we opted for a pregame of deep fried pickles before our parmas.

The beef gravy option was too rich for our blood, so we all went for the more traditional parma ... although the sauteed mushrooms struck us as a weird addition from the word go.

All of the tables were outfitted with working jukeboxes, I grabbed some change and got the tunes pumping.

Beer selection is completely American. Coors, Bud, Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada and a few others ... Nice for a change! Blue Moon was my drink of choice for the evening.

The fried pickles were good, but not great. The side of ranch helped but they didn't quite have the pickle punch you want in a deep fried pickle - Reviewer Carly put it the best when she said "They could just be deep fried zucchini and you wouldn't know the difference"

Shortly after we polished off the pickles, the behemoth of a parma arrived...

The picture doesn't do it justice - this thing was massive. First up - the chicken. I hesitate to call it a schnitzel, as it was nothing of the sort. A huge chunk of deep fried, buttermilk battered chicken breast was the foundation for this parma - The closest thing I can liken it to would be an oversized KFC boneless breast piece. It was pure white breast all the way through, thick and well seasoned. On its own it was a solid foundation for the parma.

Unfortunately this parma fell down when it came to the toppings. They just didn't go. All the ingredients were quality, but the conflicting flavours of the tomato and onion just didn't pair well with the buttermilk fried chicken.

Don't get me wrong, everything was fresh and applied liberally, but the presence of one item was just inexplicable - The sauteed mushrooms. They didn't sound right from the moment I read them on the menu, and just as I expected they stuck out like a sore thumb. They didn't mix well with the chicken or the toppings. Keep the onions, they were fine ... but ditch the mushrooms.

The flavours were confusing, but also a little bland. The last fried chicken parma we had was from the American BBQ restaurant Smokehouse 101 in Maribyrnong - Now that was a fine example of how to do an American style parma, the fried chicken was the same, the BBQ sauce worked infinitely better than napoli and combined with the maple bacon it had so much flavour I almost started bleeding from the eyeballs. The parma at Misty's is a bit of a damp squib in comparison.

The chips were lovely - But with the sheer amount of food piled on to the plate they were a bit of a struggle to get to. Once I managed to dig them out from underneath everything they were a fine, crunchy, fried chip - Maybe a little oily and under seasoned but not criminally so. I was glad I hung on to the leftover ranch dip from the pickles for some chip dipping.

The salad was probably the most disappointing element on the plate. Totally undressed, dry as buggery - and covering it with something as divisive as olives was another odd choice (I enjoy olives, but at least three people out of our group of five hated them). Definitely an afterthought and a bit of a let down.

I got very excited when I heard our already massive parma also came with a veritable loaf of garlic bread ... and rather disappointed when I realised it was left on the grill too long and tasted quite burnt. Not a repeating problem though, as reviewers Shanan and Carly ordered there food about ten minutes after the first three and their garlic bread was un-burnt and cooked to perfection - Luck of the draw I guess!

“I feel as though this parma was very confused as to what it wanted to be. The chicken itself was very tasty but the onion and mushroom just wasn’t necessary. Salad was dry however the chips were quite tasty”

— Nikki

“Parma on the chips erased all texted. Salad had olives... First mistake”

— Carly

“A lot of food. Elements of the parma worked well individually but together it didn’t quite gel”

— Shanan

“Holy moly! This meal doesn’t look big on the plate but bloody hell its huge - Way too much for me! The bird itself felt like a great bit of KFC with an assortment of toppings. Mushroom and onion was over the top and definitely unnecessary as the chicken would have been great with just a normal parma arrangement. Definitely worth the experience if anything but if you are looking for a more traditional parma you can do better elsewhere ”

— Stefo

Value is a little hard to judge - $25.90 is very steep for a parma, yet we walked away so full we could barely function. If you're personal definition of value is money in vs sheer amount of food then Misty's takes the cake - However we have always judged value with the rule of thumb "Would I pay $x dollars to have that parma again", and to be honest I won't be rushing back for a Misty's parma any time soon.

We finished off the meal with a slice of Nutella pie, which was by far the best thing we ate all day - Absolutely phenomenal, and grabbed a pack of Milk Duds from the American candy stand for the car trip home. Misty's is absolutely killing it when it comes to the American food. The entree was enjoyable, the desserts were amazing, some of the shakes and burgers I saw coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely insane ... Having a parma on the menu of a place so authentically American was an anomaly to begin with. If you want a unique American styled parma experience check out Smokehouse 101. I would recommend a trip to Misty's just for the experience, its definitely a place worth at least one trip - But stick to the American grub unless you're really desperate for a parma.

Pros

• Quality tasty buttermilk fried chicken (independent from toppings)
• Amazing desserts and entrees
• Decent chips
• Unique dining experience in Australia

Cons

• Odd choices for toppings did not mix well with other ingredients
• Burnt garlic bread
• Dry, tasteless salad

Parma - 6.20

Chips - 5.60

Salad - 2.60

Value - 4.60

Total - 5.04

The search continues...

#256 - 'The Swan'

Where? - 425 Church St. Richmond

Price? - $19, $21 with the addition of ham

Website? - http://theswan.com.au/

Reviewers – Grace, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Stefo, Tony

There are quite a few pubs on Swan Street, and quite a few parmas. We've hit a couple already (The Precinct, The Corner, The Richmond Club Hotel and The Rising Sun), but we have yet to find one that has blown us out of the water - Swan Street parmas have typically straddled the line between "meh" and "not bad", so when I received yet another recommendation to give the Swan Hotel a crack I wondered ... Could this be the one?

On arrival the pub was already pumping with diners, but parmas did not seem to be the hot ticket for the night - On Thursday nights at the Swan the steak is king, offering a (quite decent looking) cut of beef for $12.

I stuck my head out the back and was very impressed with the beer garden - With a much more modern vibe than the pub itself I could see it as the perfect place for a lazy feed and Sunday sippers on a warm summer afternoon.

We secured our table, checked the menu and was met with a choice...

The parma at the Swan does not come with ham as standard, there's a $2 surcharge if you want to get some pork on your fork. I've been asked this question a lot and I firmly stand in the opinion that a Parma doesn't need ham if the other elements are outstanding enough that the extra flavour isn't needed ... But I'm not gonna take that gamble on an unknown parma. Getting ham on the parma was an absolute no-brainer and out of the 6 people at tonight's review not one went without opting in.

We placed our orders at the bar, the bartender commenting "You guys know it's steak night, right?"

The beer list had all the standards, Nothing overly adventurous, but enough to satisfy most punters. To be honest everything else went blurry once I saw they had Stone & Wood on tap.

I'm going to preface the comments in the following couple of paragraphs by saying that opinion on this parma was controversial to say the least. Thoughts seemed to be split down the middle amongst the table as to whether it was good or not. I enjoyed it, but I'll try to make sure all opinions are heard.

The schnitzel was great quality. A little smaller than some would like, but it had enough thickness to be a solid meal. Pure white chicken breast throughout, could have been a little juicier, but by no means dry. The crumbs were applied conservatively - nice and crispy on the sides but carrying a slight hint of sogginess on the bottom/under the toppings.

Quite a good foundation for the meal.

The toppings were quite tasty - the Napoli was fresh (some detected a slight "tinny" flavour that I didn't get at all) and applied liberally. The ham was a welcome addition, while the parma was pretty good it definitely needed the ham to carry it over the line. I detected a slight smokiness that I considered quite pleasant, but some of the others at the table said that it "tasted burnt" ... each to their own I guess!

The cheese blend was the star. Full of flavour, plenty of it and grilled to (what I consider to be) bubbly golden brown perfection, I even loved the shards of crispy cheese from where the blend had dripped onto the fry pan.

The chips were an absolute triumph. Served seperate from the Parma, they were beer battered, perfectly cooked, well seasoned, hot and fresh. As it was the aforementioned steak night there was a bit of a "serve your own sauce bar" set up on one side of the bar with three types of mustard, tomato sauce and garlic aioli ... What more could a guy want? Our only criticism for the chips would be that there just weren't enough of them. It was about half a handful shy of being a satisfying side.

The garden salad was probably the weakest part of the dish. Not terrible, but just a wilted, oily afterthought. Not a lot of flavour and definitely nothing to write home about

“Great seasoned chips, parma was tasty but the salad needed some more love”

— Tony

“All the elements of a good parma were there, but I can’t quite put my finger on why this parma didn’t do it for me. Good, but not great”

— Nikki

“It rates higher after a few drinks on a Sunday arvo in the beer garden!”

— Grace

“Cheese, ham & napoli portions were spot on. Chips & salad were tasty. Value will definitely rate higher on their Wednesday discounted parma night”

— Matt

“I found the bird to be quite bland. The main flavour for me was burnt crumb. The napoli had a delectable texture however no flavour whatsoever created sogginess if anything. Chips tasted great but shame it was such a small portion.”

— Stefo

I think the Swan should ditch the option of the $19 Ham-less parma and just go the whole hog for $21. $21 isn't that expensive for what we received, and the ham was definitely a great addition to the dish.

As far as parma specials go at the Swan, they have a Wednesday "Parmageddon" which is very enticing - $12 with a bunch of novelty varieties. A perfect time to go and dip your feet in if you're on the fence about this one.

Despite some mixed opinions on this parma I walked out satisfied, and I think pretty much everyone else did - The argument was by no means between "Good" or "Bad", it was more between "Good" or "Great". By no means the best parma we've had - but the best we've had in Swan Street? I think so (so far, at least)

Pros

• Quality chicken breast with a delicious cheese blend
• Great chips

Cons

• Ham should be standard, not a $2 surcharge
• Lackluster salad
• Not enough chips

Parma - 7.45

Chips - 8.07

Salad - 5.67

Value - 6.73

Total - 7.07

The search continues...

#255 - 'The Railway Hotel'

Where? - 35 Anderson St. Yarraville

Price? - $22.50

Website? - http://www.facebook.com/Railway-Hotel-Yarraville

Reviewers – Cale, Lee, Nikki, Stefo & Shanan

After picking the Railway as our target earlier in the week I had no idea that we had visited before until I looked up the address as we were headed out the door.

Back in 2011, for attempt #38 we visited an Irish pub in Yarraville known as the Blarney Stone. I had heard many great things about this new pub in the area called the Railway Hotel ... But I never put two and two together that they were the same pub. I had no idea the Blarney had even closed its doors.

We picked the Railway based on a recent article in the Herald Sun that listed the state's top parmas. The article touted the Railway as 3rd best in the state - and was the only pub in the top 5 that we had yet to visit. Naturally, that put it on the top of our list. So we loaded up the parma bus and headed to the shockingly narrow streets of Yarraville to see what they had to offer.

Inside, the newly renovated Railway Hotel is very impressive, A million miles ahead of when it was the Blarney. The front bar is spacious with plenty of table space available, plenty of TV's to catch the sport of the day and even has a cosy courtyard off to the side for when the sun comes out.

The dining area out the back is a bit more formal, but equally as impressive. After last week's booking debacle I made sure to call ahead this week and reserve a table, which put us in the dining room for the evening.

We sat, munched on our complimentary warm bread rolls, and checked the menu for our target -

Done and done.

The tap list was adequate. Nothing too crafty but still a few options. I opted for the Cricketers' Scorcher for most of the night - A lovely drop.

About 15 minutes after placing the order our parmas arrived at the table -

The schnitzel was big enough, but quite (and I'm going to use a this word a lot in the following few paragraphs) bland. The chicken was quality breast, but quite dense and lacking a lot of moisture, which had all seemed to have soaked into the crumbs - which were a soggy mess by the time the parma hit the table.

It was thick enough, and cooked quite well, but completely devoid of personality. A competent foundation for the parma, but by no means perfect.

The toppings are where this parma really goes off the rails. First up there is no ham, for a $22 parma I find this very surprising as ham is usually the first thing to go when there are cost cutting measures in play for a parma - But I always say that a parma can easily survive a lack of ham if the other elements are quality. The parma that started this website at the Prince of Wales Hotel didn't have ham and we still consider that the best parma that ever existed.

I could see the napoli on the parma when it was put on the table, but there was so little of it they might as well have not even opened the can. You can see from the cross section photo above that this meal was basically a chicken schnitzel with cheese - the napoli was completely undetectable.

The cheese could have done with another few minutes under the grill and was mostly pretty bland. That's exactly what this parma was - bland from top to bottom.

The chips were the best thing on the plate and the saving grace for this parma. Beer battered, well seasoned, crispy and hot with a pillowy center. Tomato sauce was supplied on request without hesitation for some much appreciated chip dippage. My only criticism being the serving size - Just a half of a handful too small to be satisfying.

The garden salad was pretty decent. Granted I picked a lot of the onion out to put with the parma to give it some semblance of flavour. But all the ingredients were fresh and crisp - with a rather flavoursome dressing. Not the best thing on the plate, but not the worst ... a fine side to the meal.

“The best part of the meal was the free roll. How on earth was this rated third best by the Herald Sun?”

— Nikki

“Very bland, not much flavour. Pricey for what was served”

— Cale

“How this is #3 in the Herald Sun’s top parmas is beyond me! This thing was average at best. There was very little flavour to the dish. Great journalism Herald Sun. What a joke!”

— Stefo

After finishing the meal we sat in shock. How could this have gotten voted #3 in Victoria by the Herald Sun? I re-read the write up that was printed and it suddenly became very clear. The Herald Sun reviewed the Railway on a Tuesday night. Tuesday night is a whole different ball game, as the price drops to $15 per parma with a choice of original, satay, Mexican, meatlovers or Mediterranean.

Thats what this parma needs. Novelty toppings.

With the quality chips, salad and okay chicken breast, if you throw some meatlovers or Mexi-toppings on this parma and it would have come to life! But as it stands on every other day of the week the original parma is severely lacking in the flavour department.

As much as I enjoyed the look of this pub I can't bring myself to recommend it at full price. $22.50 is far too expensive for a parma without ham and minimal napoli. It might be worth checking out on a Tuesday from the Herald Sun's recommendation alone - and if not you're only out $15, but on any other night I'd give it a miss.

Pros

• Quality chips
• Decent salad

Cons

• No Ham
• Next to no napoli
• Extremely soggy crumbs

Parma - 3.25

Chips - 6.50

Salad - 5.63

Value - 4.00

Total - 4.53

The search continues...

#254 - 'The Pascoe Vale Hotel'

Where? - 12 Railway Parade, Pascoe Vale

Price? - $23

Website? - http://www.pascoevaletavern.com.au/

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

Leaving the house last night we had not intended to visit the Pascoe Vale Hotel. Our intended target for this week's review was supposed to be a redo of the Keilor East RSL after hearing from a few sources that they had drastically lifted their game since our 2012 review. Well apparently word has spread because we rocked up to the RSL to find it packed to capacity - To the point that people were standing around waiting for a table to open up. As a group we are pretty impatient, and damn hungry by the time it comes to 7pm on a Thursday night - So we went back to the ParmaBus™ and frantically googled locations nearby that we have yet to visit ... and that's how we found the Pascoe Vale Hotel.

(We haven't forgotten about the Keilor East RSL either, if anything after seeing that insane crowd has only piqued our interest further ... we'll get there soon, and we'll book a table this time).

Being the nerd I am I know the area around the Pascoe Vale Hotel quite well due to my many trips to MSY Computers, known as The place to be if you're ever in the mood to queue for an hour to buy an extra stick of RAM or a new CPU - Yet in all my years of going there I never felt the need to visit the Pascoe. Looking at it from the outside it always came of as a bit of a  ... I'm trying to think of a word that sounds less harsh than "dive", but I don't think I can.

So imagine my surprise when we walked in and found a fantastically renovated sports bar...

Colour me impressed - This is not what I was expecting at all. A wide open bar with a great modern aesthetic. The staple TAB and pool tables all looked clean and well kept, and the beer garden looked damn impressive had it not been a bit of a crappy night.

We walked past the sports bar, through the gaming area (this pub is big) and found the bistro. Took a seat, checked the menu. the parma runs at $23 with no specials on it that I could see. Placed the order at the bar and ordered a couple of pints to go with it.

Beer selection in the bistro is pretty much limited to Carlton Draught or Extra Dry - There was a bigger selection in the sports bar, but that was too far of a walk for me ... So I just went with the Draught - $8 a pint.

After a 15 minute wait our meals appeared...

I won't lie, my expectations of the Pascoe's parma were pretty low - So imagine my surprise when the schnitzel was pure, white, unprocessed chicken breast. Hand crumbed with a great crunch - Unfortunately mine spent a little too much time on the grill and came out fairly burnt, this is usually excusable but the black spots added a distinct charcoal taste that permeated the dish.

If you like cheesey parmas then this is one for you - I think there was more cheese than their was chicken. Gooey and well cooked, the cheese was probably the element I have the least to complain about.

The napoli was as plentiful as the cheese, but had a very acidic (possibly metallic) aftertaste that absolutely dominated the dish. If they could have backed it off a little I would have been much happier with this parma. The ham was there, but didn't add anything to the flavour profile.

The chips were standard pub chips - Nothing bad, points for not serving them under the parma. I cursed myself for not ordering a side of gravy for chip dipping. They were fine ... nothing great, but nothing to write home about either

The salad was surprisingly fresh and had a real "home made" vibe to it. It looked great on the plate and everything was fresh and crisp. I could have used a bit more ingredients-wise other than a few cucumber slices and some onion slivers - Much like the chips the salad was good, but not great.

I think $23 is a little steep for this parma - Without a parma special I won't be rushing out to have it again. for $18-$19 I could forgive a lot of its sins, but at $23 the Pascoe Vale Hotel's parma is a little too rich for my blood.

The Pascoe Vale Hotel and the parma therein definitely exceeded my expectations. I was absolutely shocked at how good the pub looked inside. The parma had some elements of greatness, it just faltered a little too many times in its execution for me to give it a seal of approval. If there's a parma night on that I'm not aware of its worth a crack, otherwise I won't be champing at the bit to go back.

Pros

• Quality chicken breast schnitzel
• Plenty of cheese
• Fresh salad

Cons

• Burnt schnitzel
• Napoli had metallic tang

Parma - 6.00

Chips - 4.50

Salad - 5.00

Value - 5.00

Total - 5.35

The search continues...